Friday, December 7, 2012

Night Of The Seagulls

Night Of The Seagulls Directed by Amando De Ossorio (1975) Starring The Blind Dead

       This is the fourth sequel in the exciting exploits of the mysterious Templar Knights, this time they haunt a creepy fishing village. They worship an amphibian god that looks just like Frog from "Frog and Toad Are Friends" when he got stuck in an ice cream mishap! The beginning starts off with the famous motley crew of bearded mummies in their younger incarnation. There's an evil lair with devil stars, scary candles and a frightening song that sounds like The Morlocks (from H.G. Welles) singing The Omen theme. After three other films in the cannon, you think we'd learn something new and interesting about the ominous hooded zombies that ride on living horses, you learn nothing! 
       I have lots of unanswered questions, like why do they look like the KKK? Why do they feed virgins to giant crabs and also rip out beating hearts and feed it to the stone monument of their God? Just simple shit I should have known already after waiting this long. I am a big fan of the original Tombs of The Blind Dead (that one at least is in Spanish with subtitles). All the other sequels seem to have those ear splitting vocal artists overdubbing the actors. There is a leering hunchback with a head wound and a conspiracy of townspeople that sacrifice their daughters to the Blind Dead and chain the poor girls to rocks. When they all show up on the beach they look like they are entering a Death from The Seventh Seal lookalike contest! This is the most popular sequel for some unknown reason (Cathedral have written alot of songs based on it), it does have an awesome title. The seagulls never help out at all, they could just have called it Night of The Horseshoe Crabs! So I defy you to stay awake! (it's that dull) just make sure you wake up to see the Blind Dead finally die and one by one their eyeballs gush out a gallon of red poster paint.This isn't even the worst sequel, that reward goes to Horror Of The Zombies which has models on a boat being tormented by skeletons on wires.

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