Sunday, December 23, 2012

Bloody Birthday

 Bloody Birthday Directed By Ed Hunt. Starring Julie Brown. (1981)

Review by Mr. Moutain (AKA Goat Scrote)   
This flick is based on the well-known scientific fact that solar eclipses make evil babies. The influence of Saturn is blocked, you see, which governs our emotions and invariably determines whether or not a person will take delight in squeezing, choking, chopping, suffocating, or crushing the life out of other people. Hey, I've seen plenty of movies where the killers' motivations were much flimsier than this. Anyway, three adorable tykes born at the same time on the same day go on a fairly creative murder spree and start working their way through the population, starting with a couple of teenagers making out in an open grave. (!!!???) The "accidental" death rate of the town goes from zero to oh-my-god-the-humanity, pretty much overnight. It’s not clear why almost everyone fails to make the connection between these sociopathic micro-perverts and the bodies which keep being discovered in their immediate vicinity, but what the hell, most horror movies would be really short if the characters weren't a little bit dumb. Even after their murder scrapbook is discovered, no one lifts a finger to stop them. If you're a fan of the "Porky's" series as well as the Fulci oeuvre, you'll no doubt be just as amused as I was when this movie brings together the classic tropes of mischievous peephole-voyeurism and gruesome eyeball-impalement. Those delightful little scamps. Kids kill the darndest ways! A couple of do-gooders sort of figure out what is going on but prove to be surprisingly adept at avoiding the traps of the merry little murderers. Despite full awareness that the unholy trinity have been relentlessly trying to snuff them, the innocent pair are not in the least bit wary when the kids invite them to come over one evening, setting the stage for a final showdown.
                Light on gore, but an entertaining little slasher movie anyway. Moral of the story: If your due date falls on a solar eclipse, abort! Abort!
Julie Brown's greatest role

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