|(1979)Directed by Franz Josef Gottlieb|
Back in the 80s every Sunday's newspaper would have a TV schedule and in the back there would be a list of movies with brief summaries. My weekly ritual would be scouring this section for films rated AO, adults only, these were the films of late night that would've come on Cinemax, Showtime and the Movie Channel. Not HBO though, they suck. One weekend a friend of mine spent the night and we stayed up late and hit pay dirt with the Movie Channel presentation of She's 19 and Ready, so was she ready, are you? Let's find out!
|"Give me some Sugar Baby."|
|"Say, you're better than a St. Bernard!"|
The "She" in this film is Eva, a happy-go-lucky gal on a ski trip with her so called boyfriend Claus but there is another skier at the resort named Stefan that has his eye on Eva. Stefan fakes a sprained ankle to get her alone for a little fooling around. Now we have a love triangle of epic proportions. Claus and Stefan come so close to sealing the deal with her but always find a way to cock block each other at every turn. In one situation they all wind up in bed together and she even tells them because she can't make up her mind she'll just have to have both of them. The next morning I was under the false pretense that finally everybody had a little bit of fun, but as it turns out the boys just can't share and wake up pissed off with a case of blue balls.
|"Sorry Eva, we won't cross the streams."|
Time now for the real adventure to begin! Eva receives a phone call from her sister Britta that their uncle Jack has passed away and has left them a taxi service in Japan and restaurants in Manila. Eva and her horny boy toys go to Japan while her sister goes to Manila. Excited about this so called new found wealth they party like rock stars to celebrate! and even get to see the German "Abba" Dschinghis Khan performing none other than their hit song Dschinghis Khan. When they finally check out the taxi business they come to realize it's nothing more than a bunch of old bums with rickshaws and her uncle actually owes them money. The only dude that speaks English takes Eva's passport and tells her she won't get it back until she pays the debt. Things aren't any better in Manila, even though Britta is hooking up with the local lover boy the restaurants are a sham too. Gee, uncle Jack sure was an asshole.
|"Play Moskau the rap version!"|
After selling the last of their valuables they gamble to try and win the money they need to pay the so-called taxi service. They lose! But a certain rich fatty has a queer eye for the straight guy, Claus. Fatty has two lovely ladies that are his assistants make a $3000 deal with Stefan that he'll gets to spend the night with Claus.It's all a big mix up and Stefan thinks the girls want to pay him and his buddy for sex. They take the money and go to the meeting place where they think they're going to have the time of their life but realize that they're going to be corn holed by a Japanese Jabba the Hutt. Here's where karma begins to pay off. A child beggar who they have been helping out on their trip follows them around and he storms the place with his friend. They beat the shit out of Fatty's bodyguards so they can all escape.It was like watching two "Short Rounds"( from Temple of Doom, but you knew that) in action in a Benny Hill episode. They all meet up and head to Manila where they learn that the restaurants are just a bunch of food carts. While in Manila Eva almost gets raped by that Latin lover, Claus and Stefan have competitions, battling for her love and despite being "19 and ready" she still remains untouched.
|"Who will be on top?"|
|"Say hello to our little Japanese friend!"|
|"I just want to be loved, is that so wrong!"|
She's 19 and Ready is a fun time capsule, a 1979 sex comedy from Germany actually titled Sunnyboy and Sugarbaby but there are three characters so who are actually the Sunnyboy in the film. The Gerhard Heinz soundtrack is also awesome. and while in Japan it showcases Come and See Hong Kong and when in Manila we are treated to the romantic Manila Sunrise but the song that stuck with me my whole life was the reoccurring theme Be My Lover song by Sandy Lee(it never leaves your head). Some music is recycled from Jess Franco's Bloody Moon which is pretty sweet.. It used to make me sad thinking I would never hear this epic music ever again but out of nowhere JMP Music has released a five Volume collection of Gerhard Heinz that you can now download!!!
|Yup, another Cold shower, :(|
7/10 On the CULT-O-METER