tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38514354598996158042024-03-04T20:11:51.404-08:00theater of gutsSkunkapehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14774471914504107035noreply@blogger.comBlogger710125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3851435459899615804.post-24052190229975350752023-08-19T01:09:00.002-07:002023-08-19T01:19:30.584-07:00The Legendary Stardust Brothers<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbf54VGaetX2WAODLadnHm2gDEFZfbE0uOQTE2cxGH6wlW4OVVC_5rMc25BX7v1iOg44pYQK-xqc0AaLO6SySc3pQ2ThOint1QT19HyDDM4HIOz3nEfX-wbPANK71QPpB-29kpZhUUzvH7v7VZASwuMCQGtt1yTv-L-IQsqem1_WaVhnSah89DrNg5PdRc/s434/stardust%20poster.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="434" data-original-width="299" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbf54VGaetX2WAODLadnHm2gDEFZfbE0uOQTE2cxGH6wlW4OVVC_5rMc25BX7v1iOg44pYQK-xqc0AaLO6SySc3pQ2ThOint1QT19HyDDM4HIOz3nEfX-wbPANK71QPpB-29kpZhUUzvH7v7VZASwuMCQGtt1yTv-L-IQsqem1_WaVhnSah89DrNg5PdRc/w275-h400/stardust%20poster.png" width="275" /></a></div><b><br /></b><p></p><b>
Legend of the Stardust brothers (星くず兄弟の伝説, Hoshikuzu kyôdai no densetsu)</b>
When my best pal Goat Scrote, who is a <b>Mosquito the Rapist</b> merit badge winning champ and I saw this film together, we knew this was a major crowd pleaser. In case you forgot, read Goat’s review of the dreaded aforementioned film click this <a href="http://www.theaterofguts.com/2014/09/mosquito-rapist-1977.html.">link</a>. <div><br /></div><div>Then my birthday rolled around and I knew <b>Stardust Bros </b>was thee movie others had to fuggin see to believe. Yes, it’s that good. If you are a fan of musicals or even if you aren't, fear not this movie covers all bases and will win you over. There’s even a snappy peppy number with the bloated corpse of Hitler. Yowie Zowie! <div><br /></div><div>My advice is to gather your more adventurous film nerd pals and get baked or drunk and crank this shit up!
It starts off in B&W, next the brothers dance in unison and boast that 2 yrs ago they hit rock bottom. They are super flashy and their song is insanely infectious. Their names are Shingo (Shingo Kubota) and Kan (Kan Takagi).</div><div><br /></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWTgAOkLweAYHg6eynyGugf2ro1_qbwd4-M0u4scK1BHWzSPaACX-VIWYqpx5fucJNd2HcKZ0VbohPzVnjgaQ7R28oF5iYWhvszZQmRmIru5diL0-PHh3C8CIGl6fY5jxpW16Nhlu_tdxn9MLWxTW3kkJpnJ4XF4OtsvH3Lxlv53n9lmX7srSW8qWu_OEJ/s715/kan%20wink.png" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="530" data-original-width="715" height="237" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWTgAOkLweAYHg6eynyGugf2ro1_qbwd4-M0u4scK1BHWzSPaACX-VIWYqpx5fucJNd2HcKZ0VbohPzVnjgaQ7R28oF5iYWhvszZQmRmIru5diL0-PHh3C8CIGl6fY5jxpW16Nhlu_tdxn9MLWxTW3kkJpnJ4XF4OtsvH3Lxlv53n9lmX7srSW8qWu_OEJ/s320/kan%20wink.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Kan is the androgynous one</td></tr></tbody></table><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="text-align: left;">There’s lots of Japanese Punkers and chipper girls, zombies and animated parts. The main singer of London Boots wears a Degrassi (1987-89) Joey Jeremiah style hat. He breaks into a fake Wham! sounding earnest number. This is Shingo, future brother of Kan's former band. </span></div><div><br /></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5JfFrRQ7WRYp0g1TjHcx90ZQWvTBYgoWIORLZ7i8lkiU5bzyDzG6BepksQ5eUNIMU4DVhBjJsBGR3H-PLbR51cov0Omwj7_s2kSr0GWkcMWyrWroWIFZwnzRLmZocEJs4KQEU7sy1uCsiGEC15czvRiHXs7gY0r9SSWPGVFX8_G4XdRKTh-iK514gPhkk/s698/degrassi.png" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="523" data-original-width="698" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5JfFrRQ7WRYp0g1TjHcx90ZQWvTBYgoWIORLZ7i8lkiU5bzyDzG6BepksQ5eUNIMU4DVhBjJsBGR3H-PLbR51cov0Omwj7_s2kSr0GWkcMWyrWroWIFZwnzRLmZocEJs4KQEU7sy1uCsiGEC15czvRiHXs7gY0r9SSWPGVFX8_G4XdRKTh-iK514gPhkk/s320/degrassi.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span> Zit Remedy? More like Shit Remedy!</span></td></tr></tbody></table><div><br /></div><div>I like the business deal location area which looks like an abandoned high school. Two thug punks guard the studio with chains and bats.
Kan and Shingo meet Turtle, a petite little cutie who’s tougher than she looks. She is played by Kyoko Togawa.</div><div><br /></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7qmihsUGHpebaSXWAGMVHjV5NX-mX1pX7-XtoNGhbWERzabb-PZAmpV9uD2od0Ph93D7Dk3sCLYWcUL1dF3clpmoGKOqjAFc6BaQVAxs86pLi1AdcdZDOipYgq9moZ6gvZktLYcKMV3yYHUPKiWrqPMm7UC9nY_Uuxk7hCLGVEfMFIR7g-qGm6IPMobN8/s702/turtle%20girl.png" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="525" data-original-width="702" height="239" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7qmihsUGHpebaSXWAGMVHjV5NX-mX1pX7-XtoNGhbWERzabb-PZAmpV9uD2od0Ph93D7Dk3sCLYWcUL1dF3clpmoGKOqjAFc6BaQVAxs86pLi1AdcdZDOipYgq9moZ6gvZktLYcKMV3yYHUPKiWrqPMm7UC9nY_Uuxk7hCLGVEfMFIR7g-qGm6IPMobN8/s320/turtle%20girl.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">There's got to be a morning after....<br /><br /></td></tr></tbody></table><div>This movie is part <b>Wizard of Oz</b> and Eastern <b>Phantom of the Paradise</b> but that’s not even scratching the surface. There are lots of songs, better than VH1 type rock band montages most tunes are fun as hell but later on the drama hits hard.
The three band members meet a slick mutton chopped label head who’s look reminded me of Jim Jones (who was a big Elvis fan too). He goes into a new wave ditty that’s like <b>Valley Girl</b> and the makeover scene in W<b>OZ</b>. </div><div><br /></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBw02rlZc46TTx5-fiEv1dlMB5RYDVF1gauPSU6oemt2o6KLk1ocaZrNfbWTLbXMKVL36anpUH26F-Uf4jbN_8MeOGu1RWpn-KrpPZbW7OfNJwJNYOqq76TjEVcX0piH8wUjESAkU1RKxlAAxfBL33-WeL5L5ETIu-eWtGUHUvIQc06BJ-bdSG6fBZJvQr/s752/elvis%20japan.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="482" data-original-width="752" height="205" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBw02rlZc46TTx5-fiEv1dlMB5RYDVF1gauPSU6oemt2o6KLk1ocaZrNfbWTLbXMKVL36anpUH26F-Uf4jbN_8MeOGu1RWpn-KrpPZbW7OfNJwJNYOqq76TjEVcX0piH8wUjESAkU1RKxlAAxfBL33-WeL5L5ETIu-eWtGUHUvIQc06BJ-bdSG6fBZJvQr/s320/elvis%20japan.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">don't worry Japanese Kool-Aid is safe.</td></tr></tbody></table><br /><div><br /></div><div>There’s also the obvious nod to <b>A Hard Day’s Night</b>. The band explodes in popularity as the executive with glasses and mutton chops sings the plot points.
The Bros sing about how shitty it is to be famous with a sheer brilliant take on <b>MTV</b> style crash and burn out. </div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfF94P4LUMuy_Lbqm7VOQbGeI7U7onX_GOSBX1CAthwXJzYMe1cP19diCALp5HfN09J-69yXwCEOkfQNs_7RWIBaPG_8RaCrQBW7NwxnIcBKUgxcjKO2-sT1TBuxpICGX3z1tzxUOTZTPfXzs7EFbFYBGCpVnoZvPtex65roKAVqwmbosJmFXoqaLvHm0s/s727/stardust%20mania.png" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="535" data-original-width="727" height="235" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfF94P4LUMuy_Lbqm7VOQbGeI7U7onX_GOSBX1CAthwXJzYMe1cP19diCALp5HfN09J-69yXwCEOkfQNs_7RWIBaPG_8RaCrQBW7NwxnIcBKUgxcjKO2-sT1TBuxpICGX3z1tzxUOTZTPfXzs7EFbFYBGCpVnoZvPtex65roKAVqwmbosJmFXoqaLvHm0s/s320/stardust%20mania.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">STARDUST-MANIA</td></tr></tbody></table><div><br /></div><div>They all sing and dance on various sets and finally down a long staircase.
There’s a moody Goth number that mentions credit cards being maxed out and cheating.
There’s an insane song that ignites after Shingo’s temporary white girlfriend lights up his cig. </div><div><br /></div><div>LSB has zombies, stop motion creatures, mummies, it packs so much entertainment value in. A haunted nurse with a giant syringe causes the Dust bros to fly through another highly entertaining acid trip through time space and animation. Drop the orange sunshine already! Like Dr. Pretorius says to Crawford in <b>From Beyond</b> let the pineal gland party "Let it happen".</div><div><br /></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUuBTCcrMGkEf0fKcGaZMhei0XnjQ_Oz5HkS_pkQ6TuyfXEu0FQgDIaUiYDNfYI5H363t_PBDmlM70RoVU7O1EKYflzuspqjLLtOQtBceh4QDZfIfb9nIL1RZsaCv6m0qLjU4Yatg6HS1goElINogs8mqmL9cTcN8MyNM2ziVQFCByp1kI6XEFkdbykNUS/s600/from-beyond-1986-dr-pretorius-monster-ted-sorel-hd-review.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="337" data-original-width="600" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUuBTCcrMGkEf0fKcGaZMhei0XnjQ_Oz5HkS_pkQ6TuyfXEu0FQgDIaUiYDNfYI5H363t_PBDmlM70RoVU7O1EKYflzuspqjLLtOQtBceh4QDZfIfb9nIL1RZsaCv6m0qLjU4Yatg6HS1goElINogs8mqmL9cTcN8MyNM2ziVQFCByp1kI6XEFkdbykNUS/s320/from-beyond-1986-dr-pretorius-monster-ted-sorel-hd-review.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">No I won't sign Robert Englund autographs</td></tr></tbody></table><br /><div>This aforementioned scene is a short clip you could use to whet someone’s appetite that may be on the fence about Asian films of this ilk. This film is very unique and should be in the <a href="https://www.abebooks.com/9781606993637/Destroy-Movies-Complete-Guide-Punks-1606993631/plp">Destroy All Movies</a> book for its punk ascetic.
The ska number with a Morricone adjacent organ solo is just bonkers in the best way.</div><div><br /></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9oNbEwuLghVbSMdYLpYtuK7pO923eUGmzkc6hy9y1yMqqu-_a7G01j4yD1FR63ygyb1tvAQMEhmVNLDaRaf-ZEwdQ7z2MxWhZEoBLJ9iElp21OOYcQ5Q9pvOPHMxwvJOxKRpfcfZHjWEQfLuAhMRXr7loOnYRGcFcROnM3yGDzf2TPlr10LoZQqBC5Rzj/s764/stardust%20monster.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="513" data-original-width="764" height="215" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9oNbEwuLghVbSMdYLpYtuK7pO923eUGmzkc6hy9y1yMqqu-_a7G01j4yD1FR63ygyb1tvAQMEhmVNLDaRaf-ZEwdQ7z2MxWhZEoBLJ9iElp21OOYcQ5Q9pvOPHMxwvJOxKRpfcfZHjWEQfLuAhMRXr7loOnYRGcFcROnM3yGDzf2TPlr10LoZQqBC5Rzj/s320/stardust%20monster.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I beat Liquid Television's dead ass!</td></tr></tbody></table><div><br /></div><div>One night the female character goes on stage instead of the Dust bros. Her song is one of my favorites. It has 2 keytars and is catchy AF.
Marimo the former little turtle has surpassed the Stardust bros in fame and worst of all she is being chased by a goth rocker. He sings about how tanned skin is already out of season. </div><div><br /></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0ydZqdUtgqWULXwk0S1RwD44qgN4VX8T2pErfrW7VdIdQE4xsCHekclDxkZQymTKISgVPQIgBtmzMN-kaa4pFNVDCvyTWeuzkV6sCWwdGzNj7O5Nz16xIW8UXPBX_jsjHhnokP0GeL112qjFbj8ZiRycH55mp4n5Pqay6qRTXVSXEyLwYrfX1degtH3jg/s723/goth%20rocker.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="525" data-original-width="723" height="232" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0ydZqdUtgqWULXwk0S1RwD44qgN4VX8T2pErfrW7VdIdQE4xsCHekclDxkZQymTKISgVPQIgBtmzMN-kaa4pFNVDCvyTWeuzkV6sCWwdGzNj7O5Nz16xIW8UXPBX_jsjHhnokP0GeL112qjFbj8ZiRycH55mp4n5Pqay6qRTXVSXEyLwYrfX1degtH3jg/s320/goth%20rocker.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Arm LBGTQ plus now!</td></tr></tbody></table><br /><div>This movie demands for you to be under the influence so light up with whatever you got and enjoy the buzz.
This was a recent find and I remember the Alamo Drafthouse in SF played it but I never heard of it or maybe just forgot. It’s astoundingly fun, the songs are great and it was all inspired by Winslow Leach of <b>Phantom of the Paradise</b> fame and most likely Paul Williams.
Oh, and don’t miss the ending which marks a disturbing cameo by Hitler.</div></div><div><span style="color: #ff00fe;">LSB IS ALL THAT AND A BAG OF WASABI SHRIMP CHIPS</span></div><div>You can watch it on TUBI! (Note <b>Tubi</b> is connected to <b>Fox News</b> which makes all us Liberals feel dirty while I doubt Conservatives care this much about cult films). At any rate that channel always has something from all the companies cult movie fanatics tend to buy. <b>Severin, Alamo Drafthouse, AGFA, Blue Underground, Shout Factory and Contv. </b></div><div><br /></div>Crankenstienhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09593719076720443439noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3851435459899615804.post-45744055562852801222023-05-28T00:00:00.001-07:002023-05-28T00:00:00.145-07:00USA UP ALL NIGHT WEEK: Night Life review by Richard Glenn Schmidt<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjec4sbYRfmcwatwk7rYFKNugP9QfuyT4AwtX17HAC1G8f1ZJd2ZE1w9_m7_CH7Q0QKJU_KUJuDtDnmX_F7UJoPHdpIidNwtU27kncdJkXPhokcJftTe996LLBAyhwo2PaEEhOgdwOF3di1crWhIfKFqOJNaFDX9yBAKmkq780lhGLcVZZGb70QrkElAw/s486/Screen%20Shot%202023-05-01%20at%202.36.54%20PM.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="486" data-original-width="318" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjec4sbYRfmcwatwk7rYFKNugP9QfuyT4AwtX17HAC1G8f1ZJd2ZE1w9_m7_CH7Q0QKJU_KUJuDtDnmX_F7UJoPHdpIidNwtU27kncdJkXPhokcJftTe996LLBAyhwo2PaEEhOgdwOF3di1crWhIfKFqOJNaFDX9yBAKmkq780lhGLcVZZGb70QrkElAw/s320/Screen%20Shot%202023-05-01%20at%202.36.54%20PM.png" width="209" /></a></div><br /><p></p><b>
Night Life by Richard Glenn Schmidt</b><div><b><span style="color: red;">Thanks Richard for contributing with this review, make sure you check out his website and read all of his books and reviews. Link <a href="https://linktr.ee/doomedmoviethon">here</a></span><br /></b><div><br /></div><div>Archie Melville, played by Scott Grimes of <i>Critters (1986)</i>, is a smarty pants high school kid with his eyes on college. When Archie’s father passed away, he left the family funeral home business to his dickbagel Uncle Verlin (John Astin) with the stipulation that Archie has to work at the funeral home throughout high school. This way he can earn the money for his college tuition. Thanks, dad! Due to his creepy after school job and his already geeky persona, Archie is a pariah around town, and so a quartet of psycho popular kids are out to get him, but also, they’re just big meanies.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9gjt5n-eeeA1Tz7LUeO1jpyW1DCAko0C5Xzkzg9uSj3L1RZYMC4PulDMCTNkQFYnEODhQ3Dgv4nVffIU3mm4gul4H4PMf6b_tV9NVN_mXPBd45BRTRpncL5ix8sbWhQL6wlYdhfqNGenwDwYCVMo0wtsJ7tLUtG6pl2kG3RqNyWD6K2cWf_bdZXWf7w/s616/night-life-004-laservision.jpeg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="616" height="249" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9gjt5n-eeeA1Tz7LUeO1jpyW1DCAko0C5Xzkzg9uSj3L1RZYMC4PulDMCTNkQFYnEODhQ3Dgv4nVffIU3mm4gul4H4PMf6b_tV9NVN_mXPBd45BRTRpncL5ix8sbWhQL6wlYdhfqNGenwDwYCVMo0wtsJ7tLUtG6pl2kG3RqNyWD6K2cWf_bdZXWf7w/s320/night-life-004-laservision.jpeg" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">sign of quality?</td></tr></tbody></table><br /><div>Archie’s only friend is Charly (Cheryl Pollak), the local grease monkey that the bullies treat like crapola, because they’re just big (sexist) meanies (who don’t believe that girls can work on cars or something). When Charly and Archie dare to stand up to these cretins, the leader named Roger uses his own girlfriend Joanie (Lisa Fuller) as a sexy distraction so that he and his douche-bro can pull a sicko prank on Archie. The prank gets Archie fired from the funeral home, putting his whole future in jeopardy. The joke’s on good old Rog, because he and his crew die that very night in a horrific car accident. Due to Uncle Verlin’s gross incompetence at running the funeral home, this blessing/tragedy actually gets Archie get his job back! </div><div><br /></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiol1-buLZ-F1QuiWUgqDxTyYxKCAB4uauU043QiBnMuh6qAVz02o7jduGCTcc8JeCe9WZ8vdciT-jS8xFWlaZq56Kq6EDFPetK9AvtSSz9p5rJ6gcQJBMqJCVLrGGBEg-JyJiq-lW192MAnKTcR0yIvFhcexgp_CZ-1cRHbCCgieTJCinE3lOlPwvs0g/s616/night-life-011.jpeg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="616" height="249" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiol1-buLZ-F1QuiWUgqDxTyYxKCAB4uauU043QiBnMuh6qAVz02o7jduGCTcc8JeCe9WZ8vdciT-jS8xFWlaZq56Kq6EDFPetK9AvtSSz9p5rJ6gcQJBMqJCVLrGGBEg-JyJiq-lW192MAnKTcR0yIvFhcexgp_CZ-1cRHbCCgieTJCinE3lOlPwvs0g/s320/night-life-011.jpeg" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">the laughs are on me!</td></tr></tbody></table><br /><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>The fun begins when it turns out that bullies’ car accident was with a tanker truck full of a mysterious gaseous substance (let’s just call it “Chemical X” for now) which, as you well know, means that all it will take to bring them back to life is one lightning bolt! Queue the freak thunderstorm and… Bam! We’ve got Night of the Living Buttholes. Now, Archie and Charly have to fight for their lives against these undead baddies in the feature film from Creative Movie Marketing and Wild Night Productions called Night Life. Rated R. 89 minutes. </div><div><br /></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihPlpiZjGJvR3fFrOUdZ0_CYbqCa4yaxHrmK6UW14OnO-Y277MiFTzCb1va3hp7kC-j93Zfl50UmtUJL75BkEknFGQ43HvINQOOPInjL9gyFZa92IZ6EYsIWalioVHfYGsLRfCpxBos4JkUVFV3fx2M0W8WvmOTcFPCY8pd-A9L57fMDoUjbtDsTjwrQ/s616/night-life-008.jpeg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="616" height="249" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihPlpiZjGJvR3fFrOUdZ0_CYbqCa4yaxHrmK6UW14OnO-Y277MiFTzCb1va3hp7kC-j93Zfl50UmtUJL75BkEknFGQ43HvINQOOPInjL9gyFZa92IZ6EYsIWalioVHfYGsLRfCpxBos4JkUVFV3fx2M0W8WvmOTcFPCY8pd-A9L57fMDoUjbtDsTjwrQ/s320/night-life-008.jpeg" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">we hate you Scott Grimes!</td></tr></tbody></table><br /><div><br /></div><div>Damn, that was a lot of plot! And that’s the short version. Anyway, Night Life (1989) is not to be confused with the vampire comedy called Nightlife (also 1989), but what if you did? What would be the actual crime in that, eh? Night Life also has its own identity crisis going on. After a solemn and grotesque opening sequence in the mortuary more appropriate for Joe D’Amato’s Beyond the Darkness (1979), you might think that you’ve got the wrong movie. But no, Night Life is as interested in the gritty realities of the mortuary business as it is in goofing off! </div><div><br /></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiby9Uw23GARK0dJYbESaZYD-_DM0Ig-EBaHXtAXsUbHrJZ15geP67_1XWqRzlEryBhNZaeoq_s8n8Qs8E_zxeGnjdtG3_0mWZYdv-chfnESlhjlkaYTlKnZiVkWuifVK_r_JgKWStkcOVQI489Cqk9GJ-NpU9NQFF1KHaVh3BVYWiuBGdLHq30VpYfew/s616/night-life-009.jpeg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="616" height="249" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiby9Uw23GARK0dJYbESaZYD-_DM0Ig-EBaHXtAXsUbHrJZ15geP67_1XWqRzlEryBhNZaeoq_s8n8Qs8E_zxeGnjdtG3_0mWZYdv-chfnESlhjlkaYTlKnZiVkWuifVK_r_JgKWStkcOVQI489Cqk9GJ-NpU9NQFF1KHaVh3BVYWiuBGdLHq30VpYfew/s320/night-life-009.jpeg" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">it's a headlight bustin good time.</td></tr></tbody></table><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>Director David Acomba’s big claim to fame is that he directed that cool and weird animated segment in The Star Wars Holiday Special (1978); but specifically catering to my niche interests, he also directed Andrea Martin… Together Again (1989) featuring Martin and some of her SCTV alums. Writer Keith Critchlow didn’t do a whole lot. His only other writing credit is Volunteers (1985), a Tom Hanks/John Candy dud that no one remembers but me. Producers Susan Nicoletti and Charles Lippincott would flush their careers down the toilet on Judge Dredd (1995). On a happier note, effects artist Ed French brought the splatter goods to films like C.H.U.D. (1985), The Stuff (1985), and Blood Rage (1987). </div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtm17dcZzk5JVJaYKFw_dfOJQHVbJ-YG-9kUiGtwEm-1iJPXlmZrOf_JuXE8vfAPqskEKOtWZEUGXP8WTFazSQzTREfIi0ZGgs9lTQO49peervYBjh0N7VyHDtlQzMHUiZLFiIU-rTXyjR3_ImghOBQmH6n7jcAXpx0TP_ZLBDwhH_fYk2VCS-NVObcA/s1000/MVA54667.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1000" data-original-width="790" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtm17dcZzk5JVJaYKFw_dfOJQHVbJ-YG-9kUiGtwEm-1iJPXlmZrOf_JuXE8vfAPqskEKOtWZEUGXP8WTFazSQzTREfIi0ZGgs9lTQO49peervYBjh0N7VyHDtlQzMHUiZLFiIU-rTXyjR3_ImghOBQmH6n7jcAXpx0TP_ZLBDwhH_fYk2VCS-NVObcA/s320/MVA54667.jpg" width="253" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">only Richard remembers this film.</td></tr></tbody></table><br /><div><br /></div><div>Grimes is very likeable in the lead and I imagine that in real life, he was only ever bullied by people who got mad that Will McCorkle didn’t get his own spin-off series. John Astin, of The Addams Family fame, is way, way too good at playing Uncle Shithead. Oh my God, I found myself yelling at his character when he was onscreen. His blustery blowhard bullslap is infuriating as hell, but at least he utters the immortal line: “Condensation?! Jesus D. God!” </div><div><br /></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEJjjMEYXcG3I89x57IeV7-UtZes9XiZs78VzvSaO8csufOVduolQ_b1KCWS7twFho3oPQhPDNLD--b4K2K17nBlTjAp667nPT-wJkmiO26WZv2E-ObVk3xgJxuV4C1eZ0alcyjyTdmXyXXW2n624zrLENhCMtiDlR0kkbXvl3GW_HM9cR8s432A81oA/s616/night-life-010.jpeg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="616" height="249" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEJjjMEYXcG3I89x57IeV7-UtZes9XiZs78VzvSaO8csufOVduolQ_b1KCWS7twFho3oPQhPDNLD--b4K2K17nBlTjAp667nPT-wJkmiO26WZv2E-ObVk3xgJxuV4C1eZ0alcyjyTdmXyXXW2n624zrLENhCMtiDlR0kkbXvl3GW_HM9cR8s432A81oA/s320/night-life-010.jpeg" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Lisa played the non virgin in Monster Squad as well.</td></tr></tbody></table><br /><div><br /></div><div>One of my favorite members of this cast is Lisa Fuller. She was all over the place in the 80s, but it’s her pivotal role as the perky, popular, and perfect Randa in the masterpiece known as Teen Witch (1989) that really warm my heart. And then there’s Cheryl Pollak. The way she delivers dialogue with her nightmarish and whiny inflection is certainly unique, or maybe just bad. Pollak forever stole my soul as Darla Blake, the band-geeky love interest in My Best Friend is a Vampire (1987). Character actor extraordinaire, Alan Blumenfeld, is also here and he calls Archie “a pussy”. He’s always great.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGpCLwyHBtBwAf3MrIvh5sLtp7re3-i7pRThqNr8lK4iXGosmEA6IbGNtm3Q8KYG3joW4uFbwhlFYdQorgMbWmWJ6Y5f1M92P_pGwFWwFuhD6CvblPJfB15PlHklCtW8QE5xbG4L1bPBKdQjApzff0FamaEl-MdF4_qz0VSq1xBzn278V71V5qkcYLxw/s616/night-life-017.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="616" height="249" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGpCLwyHBtBwAf3MrIvh5sLtp7re3-i7pRThqNr8lK4iXGosmEA6IbGNtm3Q8KYG3joW4uFbwhlFYdQorgMbWmWJ6Y5f1M92P_pGwFWwFuhD6CvblPJfB15PlHklCtW8QE5xbG4L1bPBKdQjApzff0FamaEl-MdF4_qz0VSq1xBzn278V71V5qkcYLxw/s320/night-life-017.jpeg" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">is my hair OK?</td></tr></tbody></table><br /><div><br /></div><div>Fans of Mortuary (1982) and One Dark Night (1981) would do well to check out Night Life, because this reminds me of those movies in a good way. There are plenty of spooky moments, show stopping gore gags, and cool action set pieces to keep things moving. The ghouls at the end get a bit Terminator-like with their unstoppability bullcarp, but I never get bored. Night Life is a weirdly satisfying film that feels as though it was tailor-made to be caught on cable in the middle of the night and leave you wondering, “What the heck did I just watch?” </div><div><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgf9ZMNTEBFp5D2dJYNgwJEilossAANffn9XdFa1zZHgf51jr_aFh0EOYHyhYZhv20IEPzTWlFRrwrapfPMof47M-YkvMwMSkXVjvVTcQAe3dlwkxlbDBWen1VyDwgKPaT8eoak0Gato8-oFOTITRIuTEwYkTyQvmOCUV2Es8fi7-IhmastM-RvnY5vvQ/s850/night-life-003-fangoriacover.jpeg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="850" data-original-width="619" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgf9ZMNTEBFp5D2dJYNgwJEilossAANffn9XdFa1zZHgf51jr_aFh0EOYHyhYZhv20IEPzTWlFRrwrapfPMof47M-YkvMwMSkXVjvVTcQAe3dlwkxlbDBWen1VyDwgKPaT8eoak0Gato8-oFOTITRIuTEwYkTyQvmOCUV2Es8fi7-IhmastM-RvnY5vvQ/s320/night-life-003-fangoriacover.jpeg" width="233" /></a></div><br /><div><br /></div><div>In the May 1989 issue of Fangoria, writer Larry Barsky has an article about his visit to the set of Night Life. He describes being wowed by the big explosive setpiece in the film and talks to members of the cast and crew. Publicist Steve Jones describes the early parts of the film as “pretty much like Ferris Bueller’s Day.” Yeah, I’m still trying to imagine Ferris Bueller dumping a bucket of blood or a severed arm into a dumpster. Sure. Grimes himself tells Barsky that “Night Life has a Lost Boys feel.” Now that I can totally agree with, except no, not at all.</div></div>Crankenstienhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09593719076720443439noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3851435459899615804.post-52135731492884447412023-05-27T00:00:00.001-07:002023-05-27T00:00:00.144-07:00USA UP ALL NIGHT WEEK: ONCE BITTEN<p><br /></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6sQLpA14GNToDCNph3Qd9ynQMtlZbxKddCD3sVi_hoedIX4v8ghdvOw0oM9pqS9O-KFNs5DwZjN5AZ5P10OFLnp8i66b9kOTgkyy7u0t4OPpIpOtWLncaFaxP8I3xLhv3nS7s8OxoiWN2k0omGedNflPF1Po75MG71pwDJ6hyKpGyxj1gzsqT5-A3lg/s543/Screen%20Shot%202023-05-23%20at%2012.32.34%20AM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="543" data-original-width="381" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6sQLpA14GNToDCNph3Qd9ynQMtlZbxKddCD3sVi_hoedIX4v8ghdvOw0oM9pqS9O-KFNs5DwZjN5AZ5P10OFLnp8i66b9kOTgkyy7u0t4OPpIpOtWLncaFaxP8I3xLhv3nS7s8OxoiWN2k0omGedNflPF1Po75MG71pwDJ6hyKpGyxj1gzsqT5-A3lg/w281-h400/Screen%20Shot%202023-05-23%20at%2012.32.34%20AM.png" width="281" /></a></div><br /><p><b>Once Bitten directed by Howard Storm 1985</b> </p><div><span style="color: red;">Reviewed by Goat Scrote</span> </div><div><br /></div><div>Today we delve into something truly disturbing: A 1980s vampire sex comedy starring Lauren Hutton, Cleavon Little, and a rubber-faced young unknown named Jim Carrey. It's very much a product of its era. That means problematic attitudes about gender roles, relationships, race, and sexuality. It's rated PG-13 because of the sexual themes and a little bit of nudity (mostly male). Unfortunately, it's too tame to be sexy, too bland to be funny, too toothless to be scary, but it still wasn't as bad as I feared. It's a middle-of-the-road bit of '80s nostalgia that I mainly recommend to Jim Carrey fans and vampire-movie completists. </div><div><br /></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9JBId474a0vppOEkHSTMd6z5ZXfWu1PYqZ2tAo4GjKBT8nLNJI1_Fp6kKiBVU2RjDjvioGmh75kjbkBzvTFe5rdAww0zYm5ieov5m-IKHOmN3FkD9R8By0sQcFc_TpqGpMKpxfvH4gKbrUTHaRuxhMF7Vb_EaBofEiAeNxsIWwqio0F-yqsWq5iggPA/s938/carrey.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="514" data-original-width="938" height="175" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9JBId474a0vppOEkHSTMd6z5ZXfWu1PYqZ2tAo4GjKBT8nLNJI1_Fp6kKiBVU2RjDjvioGmh75kjbkBzvTFe5rdAww0zYm5ieov5m-IKHOmN3FkD9R8By0sQcFc_TpqGpMKpxfvH4gKbrUTHaRuxhMF7Vb_EaBofEiAeNxsIWwqio0F-yqsWq5iggPA/s320/carrey.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Caution, this movie sucksssss</td></tr></tbody></table><br /><div><br /></div><div>The Countess (Lauren Hutton) is a vampire with a problem. Apparently, in 1980s Los Angeles, there is a shortage of her favorite morbid beverage. She needs the blood of male virgins who are over the age of consent to maintain her youth and beauty. Going in to this review, the only thing I could remember about the movie is that the Countess must bite her virginal victims on the inner thigh, close to the source of their untapped sexual potential, rather than on the neck. </div><div><br /></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEglKb-KbjDv2XtFgDISzKrD15gLEU3jDZrOHg-cMoKyJO9ph19V8p3LLtHNbqKCFkUJjRIWTwLJMwiaHimIMDbWG5yL-MVHvJxhJZtAJj1K0e00xOdvGnh4hC6LkBHrbytukhUbmmdDQ9qZXK0jR2eeXy1-9jA3oTa_VUpWjov5gYX0_s6RvlNzc0FDNA/s942/Screen%20Shot%202023-05-22%20at%2011.40.18%20PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="521" data-original-width="942" height="177" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEglKb-KbjDv2XtFgDISzKrD15gLEU3jDZrOHg-cMoKyJO9ph19V8p3LLtHNbqKCFkUJjRIWTwLJMwiaHimIMDbWG5yL-MVHvJxhJZtAJj1K0e00xOdvGnh4hC6LkBHrbytukhUbmmdDQ9qZXK0jR2eeXy1-9jA3oTa_VUpWjov5gYX0_s6RvlNzc0FDNA/s320/Screen%20Shot%202023-05-22%20at%2011.40.18%20PM.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Campari or artery juicey juice?</td></tr></tbody></table><br /><div><br /></div><div>She is served by Sebastian (Cleavon Little), an effete manservant. Twice they make the same joke about Sebastian coming out of the Countess' closet. Still, Sebastian pretty much steals the show and Cleavon Little is clearly having a good time hamming it up.</div><div><br /></div><div> She also has an entourage of previous victims, frozen in time. Her minions continue to dress in clothes from the periods they died in. They aren't given a whole lot to do, which is fine. They are supposed to be quirky and cute, I think, but they're just sort of groan-worthy. You may recognize actor Stuart Charno from "Friday the Thirteenth Part 2" among other places. </div><div><br /></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgeA2oPTILjKrPfd6YDHr68oTlCekhxltmzTn5l5o8lMaJdNZozEuhC1v3P15ghnno2fhWoJMxKhZxE9q8gzC314AXu_zw6yQf4BDssT-p2XORsulP_GXI58MMKzRwmqoZSsZ1YiK7oRd_HrG8fgwsJxkDf9i3ICa62iRMOGbBTOUPoThZhs2jlaM125Q/s952/friday%2013%20vamp.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="516" data-original-width="952" height="173" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgeA2oPTILjKrPfd6YDHr68oTlCekhxltmzTn5l5o8lMaJdNZozEuhC1v3P15ghnno2fhWoJMxKhZxE9q8gzC314AXu_zw6yQf4BDssT-p2XORsulP_GXI58MMKzRwmqoZSsZ1YiK7oRd_HrG8fgwsJxkDf9i3ICa62iRMOGbBTOUPoThZhs2jlaM125Q/s320/friday%2013%20vamp.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Get my agent on the phone pronto!</td></tr></tbody></table><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>Dominick Brascia, Joey from "Friday the Thirteenth: A New Beginning", makes a brief cameo at the drive-in theater, where everyone is getting laid except Mark Kendall and his girlfriend Robin (Karen Kopins). The next day he and his two friends lament their continued virginity. They decide to go to Hollywood to try to pick up women in Mark's ice-cream truck. </div><div><br /></div><div>There's a montage of weird sights that they see around Hollywood, interspersed with the minions of the Countess chasing the ice cream truck for no clear reason. Why has the Countess has been having so much trouble, since her followers can apparently sense virginity from a distance?! </div><div><br /></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPZ31nowXPDJrCz6ChTmznBb-MGUw2yJgJpoT9wsBNTUNQz1ch1zUsjPMrEVaJfFYZvEW4eIZ9Jr-0iIC8D4TykkH3PgY0d2XFWzS_rjm0Q3eJYqDFdrQQEtqb33DDixSRfvNONfyH9bC2VwiNiEFM-cgM7cq4RZwzB7w8kclqSCYmBhGuAPo4GyPNjw/s929/Screen%20Shot%202023-05-23%20at%2012.10.03%20AM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="519" data-original-width="929" height="179" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPZ31nowXPDJrCz6ChTmznBb-MGUw2yJgJpoT9wsBNTUNQz1ch1zUsjPMrEVaJfFYZvEW4eIZ9Jr-0iIC8D4TykkH3PgY0d2XFWzS_rjm0Q3eJYqDFdrQQEtqb33DDixSRfvNONfyH9bC2VwiNiEFM-cgM7cq4RZwzB7w8kclqSCYmBhGuAPo4GyPNjw/s320/Screen%20Shot%202023-05-23%20at%2012.10.03%20AM.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">where's Captain Kronos when you need him?</td></tr></tbody></table><br /><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>The trio of ultra-virgins arrives at a singles meet-up place where you can phone other tables and talk to the people there. It's basically Tinder but for the rotary-dial age. Here the Countess makes her move and picks up Mark. His friends, meanwhile, get caught up in shenanigans involving a jealous husband and a gun. </div><div><br /></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhNSoeAzKD20PhlULSUDH_ogM18aaU7MzApQSrJaDR7lmTBZXfWmZ_JaBvA60yoeqPKwITOD7uGINYuzpjgQdmkeT8V-ZbFD0lc9Wj4NxJIoC7-snrV7wpezS7lHfzy9EGyBdTRaZ7Oc_mAnByfLz7P9BMXM_l9q6_oweJbPaIl0geRcQihQIQGizmpCg/s955/dial%20a%20date.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="520" data-original-width="955" height="174" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhNSoeAzKD20PhlULSUDH_ogM18aaU7MzApQSrJaDR7lmTBZXfWmZ_JaBvA60yoeqPKwITOD7uGINYuzpjgQdmkeT8V-ZbFD0lc9Wj4NxJIoC7-snrV7wpezS7lHfzy9EGyBdTRaZ7Oc_mAnByfLz7P9BMXM_l9q6_oweJbPaIl0geRcQihQIQGizmpCg/s320/dial%20a%20date.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Dial-a-Duhhhh</td></tr></tbody></table><br /><div><br /></div><div>Back at the Countess' home, she quickly seduces mark, and he yelps "ouch" as she goes offscreen to bite his thigh. He awakens the next morning feeling tired and heads back home. His friends and parents soon notice that Mark is behaving oddly: Sleeping in a trunk in his room, dressing all in black, wearing sunglasses indoors... </div><div><br /></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-KP5TZFApyk04oJumGZYjSf2v9R5PnUM94arW4V-9cTfM6skcnx_i-3lyVkJxZ2zwBPkUO-4oxYHY6PXXE_R2pS7Cnf4lJFc0Dyscp9D-gixlhMZkhUhZ8tvtBbsV85vFXDjmAAAC6YaCzYcymY4jRg-vQKgz97olOqnfUZRYjKt9BPHWZO6mYyfUEg/s944/Screen%20Shot%202023-05-22%20at%2011.55.38%20PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="524" data-original-width="944" height="178" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-KP5TZFApyk04oJumGZYjSf2v9R5PnUM94arW4V-9cTfM6skcnx_i-3lyVkJxZ2zwBPkUO-4oxYHY6PXXE_R2pS7Cnf4lJFc0Dyscp9D-gixlhMZkhUhZ8tvtBbsV85vFXDjmAAAC6YaCzYcymY4jRg-vQKgz97olOqnfUZRYjKt9BPHWZO6mYyfUEg/s320/Screen%20Shot%202023-05-22%20at%2011.55.38%20PM.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">don't look over my shoulder, there's titties.</td></tr></tbody></table><div><br /></div><div>Robin finds out about the infidelity and the young lovers have a spat. Later she seems to forgive him when he comes by the clothing store where she works to make up. He is trying on clothes when the Countess appears in his dressing room and goes in for round two. She only needs to feed on Mark one more time, the next night, in order to maintain her beauty and make Mark her undead servant forever. If she fails to drink by midnight, however, it will mean disaster! </div><div><br /></div><div>At the Halloween Dance that night at Mark and Robin's school, the Countess shows up and tries to take Mark away. What follows is a fairly epic dance-off over the fate of Mark's body and soul. Robin is the winner, and the Countess is forced to leave, temporarily defeated. </div><div><br /></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2YaodSxb2gblSrKpsCjzuU4PngNiaWCNEM3L3KERDp0uVsKAbae1JPbCQmZ41CooPlGEoErSdfGzdjUAQonDlRuiZz7_ZKt9UtQXw4Zyea4SxkTGS3xEMyvL2-Gf0T0hWINELbb4btkq_Cc4DQIemA00nwskaQj9BPJI4ZOxmfhriuDyWNelMZbcCVg/s944/Screen%20Shot%202023-05-23%20at%2012.12.58%20AM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="511" data-original-width="944" height="173" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2YaodSxb2gblSrKpsCjzuU4PngNiaWCNEM3L3KERDp0uVsKAbae1JPbCQmZ41CooPlGEoErSdfGzdjUAQonDlRuiZz7_ZKt9UtQXw4Zyea4SxkTGS3xEMyvL2-Gf0T0hWINELbb4btkq_Cc4DQIemA00nwskaQj9BPJI4ZOxmfhriuDyWNelMZbcCVg/s320/Screen%20Shot%202023-05-23%20at%2012.12.58%20AM.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I want to drain your main vein</td></tr></tbody></table><br /><div><br /></div><div>Later Robin asks Mark's two virgin buddies to check his inner thigh for bite marks. This leads to a scene in the boy's locker room shower where they grab Mark and try to look at his crotch, which leads the rest of the boys to scream "fags!" and flee as if they were in deadly danger. Sigh. </div><div><br /></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9STH58-1UB3GNh02xMQO1Z74jhKQTRCwIdgN7mulIF1mKl-crVIpF0qF3Zq1SzyUk-nXfEppZL3AMNG35KQGQ5HDTJyNt2KAXZH8pN4zyEaxiTjCguWGYB4iI6cigILf677nNmzJCwn8MfsJw6vTKXSx4DcHc9A9tgZfL9ngAOCgBBQIFdW45xfBHmw/s946/Screen%20Shot%202023-05-23%20at%2012.14.43%20AM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="511" data-original-width="946" height="173" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9STH58-1UB3GNh02xMQO1Z74jhKQTRCwIdgN7mulIF1mKl-crVIpF0qF3Zq1SzyUk-nXfEppZL3AMNG35KQGQ5HDTJyNt2KAXZH8pN4zyEaxiTjCguWGYB4iI6cigILf677nNmzJCwn8MfsJw6vTKXSx4DcHc9A9tgZfL9ngAOCgBBQIFdW45xfBHmw/s320/Screen%20Shot%202023-05-23%20at%2012.14.43%20AM.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Now that I picked up the soap allow me to scrub your taint</td></tr></tbody></table><br /><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>That night Robin is abducted into the Countess' limousine right in front of Mark and his friends. They head after them to the Countess' mansion and break into the basement. They find Robin tied to a chair and free her, then start looking for the way out. They are intercepted by the vampire minions, and the trap is sprung. They are all taken captive. </div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div> Mark is strapped into something like a gynecological exam chair and strapped in, sans trousers. The Countess is determined to have her third drink. Robin breaks free and threatens the vampires with a cross. The Countess laughs and says that she's an atheist. When threatened with fire, however, the vampires back off. Robin and Mark make a run for it while the two buddies cover their retreat. This leads to a zany chase around the mansion, which is built more like a funhouse. </div><div><br /></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguwOjOMh6byho2jgTuqw9mJWJBMW4PoDXm_wRiHwMjc5ek1Lmv5dhqkSeD0GmmA-P5PwxMrmF8YKhB7nMewLsUYuZ3fcOG8UDCvoj-D5IZm7rSMt8TEluNx7SFzTXZHc0Q5xvLG9yIu6KCwBnnEhV7ng1KZqnKPoGlbAWkZ9Aw63XIsKJGaW8PmegZpg/s931/Screen%20Shot%202023-05-23%20at%2012.17.43%20AM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="509" data-original-width="931" height="175" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguwOjOMh6byho2jgTuqw9mJWJBMW4PoDXm_wRiHwMjc5ek1Lmv5dhqkSeD0GmmA-P5PwxMrmF8YKhB7nMewLsUYuZ3fcOG8UDCvoj-D5IZm7rSMt8TEluNx7SFzTXZHc0Q5xvLG9yIu6KCwBnnEhV7ng1KZqnKPoGlbAWkZ9Aw63XIsKJGaW8PmegZpg/s320/Screen%20Shot%202023-05-23%20at%2012.17.43%20AM.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Take your coffin nails and leave my casket!</td></tr></tbody></table><br /><div><br /></div><div>The two buddies hit on a couple of the female vampire minions, who promptly get naked and (presumably) take their virginity. Meanwhile, Mark and Robin end up in the room full of coffins where the vampires sleep during the day. </div><div><br /></div><div>When the vampires burst in they don't see anyone at first. Mark and Robin are hiding inside one of the coffins in the vampire lair, and let's just say, "If this coffin is a-rockin', don't come a-knockin'". Mark has lost his virginity and is no longer of any use to the vampiress. As midnight chimes on All Hallow's Eve, he Countess begins to age rapidly and ends up an elderly lady. Her minions all abandon her, except for loyal Sebastian, who assures her that they will find another virgin somewhere "...like Kansas, or Nebraska."
<span style="color: red;">Rating: 3 out of 5 raw meat patties.</span></div>Crankenstienhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09593719076720443439noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3851435459899615804.post-82790211590083787292023-05-26T00:07:00.001-07:002023-05-26T00:07:00.142-07:00USA UP ALL NIGHT WEEK: Party Camp<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrojM3EmRWh6BSfVcAzV_SvLDs5GzQ9D_PWrb5URZiilitDibwGgubMnvwi6U2xOAMLkxm_Gf7VW4C9Lqo7gsovlZ5YPZ5NEmNVqVceZ96of5FxeucWn_8mPZ0x7_xEqREodArVrdqxJBm3qbQ8nMwjv8xCeNn9m_RczbFxSDgIfS17PU9TsFzRXMjhw/s1736/Screen%20Shot%202023-05-18%20at%208.24.56%20PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1456" data-original-width="1736" height="268" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrojM3EmRWh6BSfVcAzV_SvLDs5GzQ9D_PWrb5URZiilitDibwGgubMnvwi6U2xOAMLkxm_Gf7VW4C9Lqo7gsovlZ5YPZ5NEmNVqVceZ96of5FxeucWn_8mPZ0x7_xEqREodArVrdqxJBm3qbQ8nMwjv8xCeNn9m_RczbFxSDgIfS17PU9TsFzRXMjhw/s320/Screen%20Shot%202023-05-18%20at%208.24.56%20PM.png" width="320" /></a></div><b>PARTY CAMP Directed by Gary Graver (1987).</b><p></p><p><b><span style="color: red;">Reviewed By Machine "Gun" Kristin</span></b></p><div>Have an hour and a half to kill? Then look further because “Party Camp” ain’t it. This tepid, scattered piece of 80s trash is at best a decent 1987 time capsule. There are definitely better movies ("Summer Camp Nightmare", "Sleepaway Camp" etc) in the niche “summer camp-sploitation” genre that make a whole lot more sense than this one. This movie’s plot is barely held together with spit and chewing gum. Screenwriter Paul Brown is probably better known for “Quantum Leap” (oh boy), but “Camp” was his second outing as a writer. Director Gary Graver has mostly porn on his resume (“The Joi Fuck Club”, anyone?) with one horror credit, “Trick Or Treats” (1982).</div><div><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjArkrirR7NLlHB_lRAWpXvv8Kkrz0T8z61_uqZpkDSOzSOUtldhV27XRti76fOrvZlB2jQfwOYPXOnCotwpA3sRaljB6H8bo4nrPfIaBzEt5-upP8l78w7HyLOmOpl4BFxkqn5Sah4EQ1d0TVtBW8nfkatebOfpbi3LgEP60q7ps7bKw2FknvCbBe-rg/s1752/Screen%20Shot%202023-05-18%20at%207.27.28%20PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1345" data-original-width="1752" height="246" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjArkrirR7NLlHB_lRAWpXvv8Kkrz0T8z61_uqZpkDSOzSOUtldhV27XRti76fOrvZlB2jQfwOYPXOnCotwpA3sRaljB6H8bo4nrPfIaBzEt5-upP8l78w7HyLOmOpl4BFxkqn5Sah4EQ1d0TVtBW8nfkatebOfpbi3LgEP60q7ps7bKw2FknvCbBe-rg/s320/Screen%20Shot%202023-05-18%20at%207.27.28%20PM.png" width="320" /></a></div><br /><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>Starring Andrew Ross as Jerry (who only has three acting credits) trudges along, hopping a school bus to a camp counselor job, seeking his dream girl. There’s Billy Jacoby as I’m guessing “Miami Vice” influenced, D.A., At some point in real life he was married to the syringe-toting Nurse Brenda played by April Wayne who later have some strange S&M scenes. The secretly kinky authority figures (Sarge and Mrs. Beadle) are almost never seen besides the beginning of the film with dispersed scenes of Sarge grabbing a kid's ear 3 (!) times. The ages among the campers seem to be from Elementary to College, is that normal? The closest thing to camp I’ve been to was a Girl Scout trip ages ago. Then we have the interesting Jewel Shepard as perpetually horny Dyanne whose character seemed to have some kind of manic disorder, just acting off the wall from the jump. I thought she’d start foaming at the mouth when Jerry chews on her pearls when he first meets her on the bus, while her brawn-no-brains boyfriend, Tad chases the bus. </div><div><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhB7n36LFAbFqavyL0Txxvdg0IPf5DHNT9GwKEVA7Qj6vLOFlxo4tGsxH4iavQkm8psxQr7ifCHnhNgFpFIVi4xoWWBOj9Iv87lU3yfUP8ET07Mb0-ac8nIhU1-2lIvP44BOu7eNTzb52WBTR3xX9WEsA1AWq2-MqYR0fQLjobGwvqJBwrnL7sMFLM5ug/s2108/Screen%20Shot%202023-05-18%20at%207.09.59%20PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1590" data-original-width="2108" height="241" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhB7n36LFAbFqavyL0Txxvdg0IPf5DHNT9GwKEVA7Qj6vLOFlxo4tGsxH4iavQkm8psxQr7ifCHnhNgFpFIVi4xoWWBOj9Iv87lU3yfUP8ET07Mb0-ac8nIhU1-2lIvP44BOu7eNTzb52WBTR3xX9WEsA1AWq2-MqYR0fQLjobGwvqJBwrnL7sMFLM5ug/s320/Screen%20Shot%202023-05-18%20at%207.09.59%20PM.png" width="320" /></a></div><br /><div><br /></div><div>There are not enough jokes that land to make it a true comedy and not enough nudity to qualify for a late-night T&A type of flick. It appears to have been reedited which is confirmed in Mike McPadden’s “Teen Movie Hell”. At least three times, a character will ask “Are they real?” when talking about a girl's chest. Super weird, I thought for sure the breast implant accusations happened in the late 90s/early 2000s on dating shows such as “Elimidate”. haha. </div><div><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKR5z3zyxlFSFnXhLTjAaIU6GRKjfy8kwN1kei2hLhUWQzKWGv8MiRq-UNC-sXL4f8psSp1Vh0-uz1Nq4SV-y6q5v2qG8FJOXhffIwK9guwCE7Bx8Lk4o1xSWLrQ5hsQcifUzF5KGPQJAovciroIxohPPoOkzx2KVmdVq3tmHVrRfubRn2w_S5bmLKgg/s475/Screen%20Shot%202023-05-21%20at%2012.03.38%20AM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="302" data-original-width="475" height="203" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKR5z3zyxlFSFnXhLTjAaIU6GRKjfy8kwN1kei2hLhUWQzKWGv8MiRq-UNC-sXL4f8psSp1Vh0-uz1Nq4SV-y6q5v2qG8FJOXhffIwK9guwCE7Bx8Lk4o1xSWLrQ5hsQcifUzF5KGPQJAovciroIxohPPoOkzx2KVmdVq3tmHVrRfubRn2w_S5bmLKgg/s320/Screen%20Shot%202023-05-21%20at%2012.03.38%20AM.png" width="320" /></a></div><br /><div><br /></div><div>We end the “Party” with mentioned once mountain bike competition between the cool guys (Tad and The Falcons) and the dorks (Jerry and the Squirrels). Yay, the movie’s finally over. </div><div><br /></div><div>“Party Camp” aired on USA Up All Night on:
S4.E19: Mar 6, 1992 with “Naked Warriors” </div><div><br /></div><div> S4.E85: Oct 24, 1992 with “Vampires on Bikini Beach”
S4.E88: Nov 6, 1992 with "Spring Fever USA”<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iOZZFa47kic&list=PLpW49v0AbalXG3K4kBQ6qUHfdDZ7dcxMA&index=105 S5.E43: "> Link</a></div><div>May 28, 1993 with “Young Nurses in Love” <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xFtbAlx6hQo S5.E96: ">Link</a></div><div><br /></div><div>Nov 27, 1993 with "Party Incorporated”
and probably many more.
You can watch “Party Camp” <a href="https://therokuchannel.roku.com/details/4154ab78632156a99a65da5ebe7ec6f9">here</a></div>Crankenstienhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09593719076720443439noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3851435459899615804.post-22980920673572757342023-05-25T00:19:00.001-07:002023-05-25T00:19:00.149-07:00USA UP ALL NIGHT WEEK: Dialing for Dingbats<p style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: red;"> -Reviewed by Skunkape-</span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8_QrclNvoey-LBnPj-MOFxiy6gTODkrIfB4sa04GpYI_aSdXrVErXY5hBm4ysh-ZeuRExl1DSdCtmE-epfqj01ofQDDNZnMFCaQu6xPsvr05EyXjM3G8D72cyNtQYT8aySDoFY7Pc8Rv3TRi6lEWDt4Y9ycaPMoYQeY0fM58IkORhJya2v83cQTk/s616/Dialing.For.Dingbats.1989.VHSRIP.X264-CG_Moment.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="472" data-original-width="616" height="245" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8_QrclNvoey-LBnPj-MOFxiy6gTODkrIfB4sa04GpYI_aSdXrVErXY5hBm4ysh-ZeuRExl1DSdCtmE-epfqj01ofQDDNZnMFCaQu6xPsvr05EyXjM3G8D72cyNtQYT8aySDoFY7Pc8Rv3TRi6lEWDt4Y9ycaPMoYQeY0fM58IkORhJya2v83cQTk/s320/Dialing.For.Dingbats.1989.VHSRIP.X264-CG_Moment.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><p style="text-align: center;"><span style="text-align: left;">Dialing for Dingbats (1989) is a Troma comedy written and directed by Peter Slodczyk. This is Mr. Slodczyk's only film and I for one am glad! When we first see the iconic Troma logo it's missing it's equally iconic fanfare, instead we hear the phone ringing which takes us right into the film.</span></p><p></p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2eYo2qNtGXBMAHaHCu2FDOEneriZsD3I6Y9v_4TdN7VZcs5siY0WseSl52gc2ugUOIx_2C5kI-UwnudBF89051FvqeDq_IPUNQvahgLl9Kg_5hzxTB1xGeOII92Q8cFN4YE15T6T0pAYNM4gxNu8u11tTL1eNHwxQFDuP6BveD4oP7EINXjlL9as/s616/Dialing.For.Dingbats.1989.VHSRIP.X264-CG_Moment(5).jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="472" data-original-width="616" height="245" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2eYo2qNtGXBMAHaHCu2FDOEneriZsD3I6Y9v_4TdN7VZcs5siY0WseSl52gc2ugUOIx_2C5kI-UwnudBF89051FvqeDq_IPUNQvahgLl9Kg_5hzxTB1xGeOII92Q8cFN4YE15T6T0pAYNM4gxNu8u11tTL1eNHwxQFDuP6BveD4oP7EINXjlL9as/s320/Dialing.For.Dingbats.1989.VHSRIP.X264-CG_Moment(5).jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><b style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: red;">"Hello, Is it me you're looking for?"</span></b></td></tr></tbody></table><b><div style="text-align: left;"><b> </b></div></b> Our hero Randy (Michael Jefferies) is calling some of his lady friends and getting nowhere fast. He's definitely not a smooth operator! Randy must have some kind of sex appeal, while he's out grocery shopping a young lady tries to flirt with him as he looks through a pile of oranges. It's not long before he knocks the pile over blubbering and stuttering his way through an awkward conversation. Randy works at a fashion store as a tailor. There he stumbles into the dressing room of young lady who seems happy about it but then he's tackled by a large lady who has been trying to molest him since his day started. It seems like his life isn't really all that bad but after sulking and watching some depressing unfunny commercial parodies he wants to commit suicide because he just can't seem to connect with women. <p></p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmYLXb9aqKdC2OxF0aUQ4Suq5YqO1CPf1yD5MkwCaezUlzNQL9qHQmi_jLtVhR6ZOlK8VtqQ_gavKW1kjV3Wbc6PtULGhz_ySfqKIiUlFjOxRmwIEOp3dlXYCMTSu4_w-giliSegALTx5cnwaCrtItcSR-a8diucb4i8dvXc9Xt-j4E6HWq_-jwI0/s616/Dialing.For.Dingbats.1989.VHSRIP.X264-CG_Moment(2).jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="472" data-original-width="616" height="245" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmYLXb9aqKdC2OxF0aUQ4Suq5YqO1CPf1yD5MkwCaezUlzNQL9qHQmi_jLtVhR6ZOlK8VtqQ_gavKW1kjV3Wbc6PtULGhz_ySfqKIiUlFjOxRmwIEOp3dlXYCMTSu4_w-giliSegALTx5cnwaCrtItcSR-a8diucb4i8dvXc9Xt-j4E6HWq_-jwI0/s320/Dialing.For.Dingbats.1989.VHSRIP.X264-CG_Moment(2).jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><b style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: red;">"A Plus Size doesn't give me a Rise"</span></b></td></tr></tbody></table><b><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span></b><br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhsL4oJ1pbOkmQlAZ6vN0L0bIVbGnQzJhTIDV2WJpXVs-tcb1CYhpW5a4P_Kqh3RcR1WWijuosAjDPToJinNQK3uAu8h54FycUMPTi-4gEJj-QTMWeZPXnXDz_XQ4jBh8GyhYpxpxbm9FO1Xa7VNufsH-whqGsWEsYVfwr07eN9oqMUnK6v2Rv8M70/s616/Dialing.For.Dingbats.1989.VHSRIP.X264-CG_Moment(3).jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="472" data-original-width="616" height="245" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhsL4oJ1pbOkmQlAZ6vN0L0bIVbGnQzJhTIDV2WJpXVs-tcb1CYhpW5a4P_Kqh3RcR1WWijuosAjDPToJinNQK3uAu8h54FycUMPTi-4gEJj-QTMWeZPXnXDz_XQ4jBh8GyhYpxpxbm9FO1Xa7VNufsH-whqGsWEsYVfwr07eN9oqMUnK6v2Rv8M70/s320/Dialing.For.Dingbats.1989.VHSRIP.X264-CG_Moment(3).jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><b style="text-align: left;"><span><span> </span></span><span style="color: red;">"Can a tailor get some tail?"</span></b></td></tr></tbody></table><p><b><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> <span> </span><span> </span></span></b></p><p>Out of nowhere a strange man shows up to convince Randy he has the perfect solution! Don't look for logic, it's as if this guy is some guardian angel looking to fix Randy's life, after he does a "Twilight Zone" Rod Serling impression this stranger introduces Randy to the "Party Line"! A place where multiple people can chat and seek out that perfect soul mate. Randy needs tons of convicting to give this service a try because he's too depressed and scared. The movie starts to feel like it's turned into an infomercial for party lines as Ernie, (John Caponera) shows Randy just how easy it is and explains all the benefits of the service. <a href="https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0135363/?ref_=ttfc_fc_cl_t1" target="_blank">John Caponera</a> is one of the few actors from this film who went on to get work after this movie.</p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQ3a8542VXjuKMHcYo4n5bTvjjebyG6Ct5ovkwl0nNTb_1Opaswa1e4WCe9t009XmuC8jUavSjAdCLWrnzS3h6fa06oJlDzH7gNKKfnQGukYuiWwBTzFezOt4IZK9Yv9iWk3qk4BgAQj-0YrguazsqaBqF5nVivNkH90-2JOWWACXUZCZc_VQRM2w/s616/Dialing.For.Dingbats.1989.VHSRIP.X264-CG_Moment(8).jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img alt="This gut is Noose-Sance" border="0" data-original-height="472" data-original-width="616" height="245" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQ3a8542VXjuKMHcYo4n5bTvjjebyG6Ct5ovkwl0nNTb_1Opaswa1e4WCe9t009XmuC8jUavSjAdCLWrnzS3h6fa06oJlDzH7gNKKfnQGukYuiWwBTzFezOt4IZK9Yv9iWk3qk4BgAQj-0YrguazsqaBqF5nVivNkH90-2JOWWACXUZCZc_VQRM2w/w320-h245/Dialing.For.Dingbats.1989.VHSRIP.X264-CG_Moment(8).jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><b style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: red;">"Guy is a Noose-sance"</span></b></td></tr></tbody></table><b><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span></b><b> <span> </span><span> <span> </span><span> </span></span></b><div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhI52hqfMOze8JQR7MurAxxBofhw4dzZoNexu5Ij5BCG5bMXIqEOT-Oo1LCASAUQXEBGpCaqIjfK0H1EgVXQ39C1sU2u_YpE7UG17w7JcQ1yB8ghAWW-fZ9JeNetV5_Xi6AG0sKaHVyo9cGPfIxO_ZHJGs1pWGL60vobt9b1IvGqdgWGXkt-sjG1C4/s616/Dialing.For.Dingbats.1989.VHSRIP.X264-CG_Moment(9).jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="472" data-original-width="616" height="245" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhI52hqfMOze8JQR7MurAxxBofhw4dzZoNexu5Ij5BCG5bMXIqEOT-Oo1LCASAUQXEBGpCaqIjfK0H1EgVXQ39C1sU2u_YpE7UG17w7JcQ1yB8ghAWW-fZ9JeNetV5_Xi6AG0sKaHVyo9cGPfIxO_ZHJGs1pWGL60vobt9b1IvGqdgWGXkt-sjG1C4/s320/Dialing.For.Dingbats.1989.VHSRIP.X264-CG_Moment(9).jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><b style="text-align: left;"><span> </span><span style="color: red;">"Just call 976-DUCK"</span></b></td></tr></tbody></table><p><b><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> <span> <span> </span> </span><span> </span></span></b></p><p>Now we get to meet all the eccentric characters who use the party line. They all add their location after their first named, like Randy from Redondo. There is also a Dennis from Venice and a Sally from the Valley.😩 None of these new callers bring anything to the table as the movie gets even more uninteresting. There is this one nerd who gives Eddie Deezen a run for his money! You expect a party line to be full of perverts and horn dogs especially for a Troma movie but everyone is nice and respectful. I'm sure this movie was pretty rare on VHS and the few that did see it was because they watched USA Up all Night, but I don't think there was much to cut out of this "sex" comedy for regular TV. This movie is very gentle and none of that signature Troma sex and gore is anywhere to be found. We do see clips of the Toxic Avenger reedited as a commercial for the party line while Randy watches TV. Not smart to show a better movie in your shitty movie. Only one specific caller is a jerk and tries to trick the ladies into thinking he's some rich tycoon living in Bel-Air. </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6p6IAUpStYePRWQqZOeQ283BESH0Wp14zfGgC764MySx3Rc47LkRMu6JkUOJNk6GoRDwtV49uuG8KJU3TXAxl0dfBru53JJF7UQ90vfwGFdMgmZI2HNbC8lBIHFKq-3wKjMm0nTyeuBOuDWJjO9weIfi82s1dCHS9KfV5NPqpBdH-LhW_h_ucSSE/s616/Dialing.For.Dingbats.1989.VHSRIP.X264-CG_Moment(6).jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="472" data-original-width="616" height="245" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6p6IAUpStYePRWQqZOeQ283BESH0Wp14zfGgC764MySx3Rc47LkRMu6JkUOJNk6GoRDwtV49uuG8KJU3TXAxl0dfBru53JJF7UQ90vfwGFdMgmZI2HNbC8lBIHFKq-3wKjMm0nTyeuBOuDWJjO9weIfi82s1dCHS9KfV5NPqpBdH-LhW_h_ucSSE/s320/Dialing.For.Dingbats.1989.VHSRIP.X264-CG_Moment(6).jpg" width="320" /></a></div><p>The movie's climax takes place at a pizza parlor, the party line invites all its callers to get together and meet. All 10 or so! HA! Will Randy who has been trying to meet this girl Robin finally see her in the flesh? Randy goes from table to table asking people if they know Robin, he comes across Batman and there of course is Robin the Boy Wonder, that did make me slightly smile but overall this is one movie I would definitely hang up on!</p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9jzmpNmMNBkWjlxSUSiruexS0_0mq_bmtSr8TfdXQzQbJCcUATxDHK8pMkoopYYaRtuNZorkq9dexvSP_3SIUCj3tiQK9Uc6TIF9r-PFc1F6NhTHsHPtSLFx_wtmmbPQiGi7YG4sMPo-BNIidV6_NhBoFzNTen1pBEybNui4Axamf7-lKCbwp-08/s616/Dialing.For.Dingbats.1989.VHSRIP.X264-CG_Moment(7).jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="472" data-original-width="616" height="245" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9jzmpNmMNBkWjlxSUSiruexS0_0mq_bmtSr8TfdXQzQbJCcUATxDHK8pMkoopYYaRtuNZorkq9dexvSP_3SIUCj3tiQK9Uc6TIF9r-PFc1F6NhTHsHPtSLFx_wtmmbPQiGi7YG4sMPo-BNIidV6_NhBoFzNTen1pBEybNui4Axamf7-lKCbwp-08/s320/Dialing.For.Dingbats.1989.VHSRIP.X264-CG_Moment(7).jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><b style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: red;">"Yo Boo Boo, where's Rat Fink?"</span></b></td></tr></tbody></table><p><br /></p><p>Wait, in the credits it says "Thanks to Al Yankovic" That's because the producer and co-writer Michael Solton is an old High school friend of Weird Al. Al got his bass player Steve Jay to score the film and write the song "partyline". This could of been a real highlight but Steve Jay dropped the ball because the song fuckin sucks! I'm glad that I crossed this off my Troma film check list but that's the only thing about watching this film made me happy. It would of sucked to stay up all night for this dud, oh, hold on second, this was hosted by Rhonda so staying up might of not been so bad. XOXOXO Rhonda Shear!</p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbdyc5Ki8_B6saH4vnuLR9kqvvAIhYqvKkXlYo4wUOgRnjPIygRJs41Ml5tJBl2YY4oTa0mthYIl7PAB0V46DeU7iF9HD7QjTrqp5w9ZQY_C-HWnPle-79Pu5aqDRLrhBbKLzS61xNFcWOoR0oy5l4wvoiEkN80ckMW2M85y-urTKR4XKP5NwLMl0/s904/Rhonda.JPG" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="595" data-original-width="904" height="211" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbdyc5Ki8_B6saH4vnuLR9kqvvAIhYqvKkXlYo4wUOgRnjPIygRJs41Ml5tJBl2YY4oTa0mthYIl7PAB0V46DeU7iF9HD7QjTrqp5w9ZQY_C-HWnPle-79Pu5aqDRLrhBbKLzS61xNFcWOoR0oy5l4wvoiEkN80ckMW2M85y-urTKR4XKP5NwLMl0/s320/Rhonda.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><b style="text-align: left;"><span> </span><span style="color: red;">Help Me Rhonda, Help Help Me Rhonda!</span></b></td></tr></tbody></table><b><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span></b><br /><p><br /></p></div>Skunkapehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14774471914504107035noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3851435459899615804.post-37858055876142593972023-05-24T00:00:00.000-07:002023-05-24T00:46:35.037-07:00USA UP ALL NIGHT WEEK- Mugsy's Girls/ Delta Pi<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxdG8Q7zmNiENAKc1QDKfUeWC0u6IqgUGZluhm5ZwEr8Li7WSaJF8HVwxcSZesVBemSLyaUh37ILHlV7fL_g_IyEPxaoO9F9jee9lSfHVuiYTJFTDl3CV4Dj3_H8AKg18G-1UBEFO8htDDREVinwDnrD_4grSTtwoEm0nOdNM36BbsVzvr5SFU4qmKbw/s1058/Screen%20Shot%202023-04-21%20at%2012.01.55%20AM.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="790" data-original-width="1058" height="239" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxdG8Q7zmNiENAKc1QDKfUeWC0u6IqgUGZluhm5ZwEr8Li7WSaJF8HVwxcSZesVBemSLyaUh37ILHlV7fL_g_IyEPxaoO9F9jee9lSfHVuiYTJFTDl3CV4Dj3_H8AKg18G-1UBEFO8htDDREVinwDnrD_4grSTtwoEm0nOdNM36BbsVzvr5SFU4qmKbw/s320/Screen%20Shot%202023-04-21%20at%2012.01.55%20AM.png" width="320" /></a></div><br /><p></p><b>
Mugsy’s girls/Delta Pi (1984).
</b>I’ve dreaded this day only because this movie kept gnawing at me incessantly and then I discovered it was on UP ALL NIGHT and I knew I had to watch it. It’s not too painful and was way more fun than I’d imagined. <div><br /></div><div>Why was I so reluctant? Just like Dr. Channard said “to think I hesitated”. It’s got a veritable <i>Hollywood Squares</i> cast of Ruth Gordon, Eddie Deezen and Laura Brannigan. Ooh let’s play Marry- Fuck-Kill! </div><div><br /></div><div>It begins w a horrid animated credit sequence that’s drenched in neon. Teacup the bunny (an actual rabbit) is one character I’m looking forward to seeing him munch on a carrot or a sorority girl’s ankle. The gals of the house (which is a pigsty in the Frat tradition of <i>Animal House/ King Frat (1978,1979</i>). The girls of Delta Pi devise a plan to raise money by mud wrestling. I mean that’s the basic plot, business venture, Ruth Gordon—GO! They hit the streets with some flyers, you know “pre-interwebz” technology. Sure--movie that’s a dopey premise! </div><div><br /></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1Ti444-6PYeh8vTNlevWpvZ3fPBfzBeSXFpv-pRNOcWWme0vRq012mjXCkmh0BlOtmWWy7m1qR_M-Ns2uvuy1NMqvzoKYvKOgVz2pyxcuOPH1Xz98FyaE4OvDCI2DLzC8xquIaybaT9SIkgT3dWPARAaGVGLuy7Cgg_K3zCMCvq7ChKbfuhSHX9uC8Q/s982/ruth%20and%20laura.png" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="799" data-original-width="982" height="260" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1Ti444-6PYeh8vTNlevWpvZ3fPBfzBeSXFpv-pRNOcWWme0vRq012mjXCkmh0BlOtmWWy7m1qR_M-Ns2uvuy1NMqvzoKYvKOgVz2pyxcuOPH1Xz98FyaE4OvDCI2DLzC8xquIaybaT9SIkgT3dWPARAaGVGLuy7Cgg_K3zCMCvq7ChKbfuhSHX9uC8Q/s320/ruth%20and%20laura.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Wedgies wedgies wedgies</td></tr></tbody></table><br /><div><br /></div><div>Ruth as Mugsy shows up and seems riddled with senility. I have to say Laura Brannigan is kind of impressing me, not a bad actress as the MC. She never sings however. </div><div><br /></div><div>The girl’s backyard kiddie pool wrasslin set up manages to draw a sizable crowd! Deezen and this tanned douche named Shawn (James Wilder) get wind of it as well. Gordon as Mugsy does her usual beloved RG routine but seems more crazed. She passed away only a year after this came out. The wrestling is shocking and also arousing to anyone in this neighborhood, which means it’s a motherfucking hit idea! Who knew?</div><div><br /></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiw0KGp-AWiospZ3BN5GWQffhn9nuMa1FRcq3YuT1W1p6lo1Yf18nOZcfOUCbGlPeS1z7JPXUA1De6wyi3cwMGjUKtPZsz2Sg3PfN0leFOfbJBzMaksME3FeqA07BCS7HwbmNV-CMM2n7LMe3mPy1-mdWs9lMXYZxWbhB0oPrC6CVfGDaJG9x1nblgFQQ/s904/deezen.png" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="681" data-original-width="904" height="241" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiw0KGp-AWiospZ3BN5GWQffhn9nuMa1FRcq3YuT1W1p6lo1Yf18nOZcfOUCbGlPeS1z7JPXUA1De6wyi3cwMGjUKtPZsz2Sg3PfN0leFOfbJBzMaksME3FeqA07BCS7HwbmNV-CMM2n7LMe3mPy1-mdWs9lMXYZxWbhB0oPrC6CVfGDaJG9x1nblgFQQ/s320/deezen.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Deez and Douche coming to CBS this fall</td></tr></tbody></table><br /><div><br /></div><div>Mugsy’ stunt double hops in the overcrowded pool full of suds. I mean they said mud but apparently, they included foam! Speaking of bubbles, the ladies sell beer in plastic cups for 50c. I mean this movie is capitalism personified! </div><div><br /></div><div>There’s the obligatory <i>Animal House</i> window moment with a well-endowed nerd girl. She stuffs her bra and later we find they’re inflatable and not so fantastic. </div><div><br /></div><div>Poor teacup eats a joint and takes a gentle ride on a turntable. Her Mommy Magic played by Joanna Dierck is an irresponsible stoner parent. She wears a top hat, does coke and smokes a roach at the same time. </div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi52PGn64ODJKRTfNRRZ8howTbLLq8u15pNA5aYuOrEWpdYezWr5fDKvjpC_j_I21KXvjq47iWxGTKfwOrmEuaFYV8Q3lkv1nmNlzYzEIesnsfs-mW2b4GXxCZdXgNsiIahP0ZimidqB9mZ9w40soPcY4Wc1Qkr2PYS8DV9HhZYxnDElGAYYmJxyllLWQ/s945/mommy%20magic.png" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="696" data-original-width="945" height="236" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi52PGn64ODJKRTfNRRZ8howTbLLq8u15pNA5aYuOrEWpdYezWr5fDKvjpC_j_I21KXvjq47iWxGTKfwOrmEuaFYV8Q3lkv1nmNlzYzEIesnsfs-mW2b4GXxCZdXgNsiIahP0ZimidqB9mZ9w40soPcY4Wc1Qkr2PYS8DV9HhZYxnDElGAYYmJxyllLWQ/s320/mommy%20magic.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">shittiest parent award</td></tr></tbody></table><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>At the shindig there’s some light sexual assault with a punk dude and piss drinking, which just comes out of nowhere! Chalk is up to “punksploitation”! It was kind of worth it because the party was a success.
Shawn and Lenny show up to convince the girls to wrestle for more money and they all split it. Hey wait, is this the <i>Netflix G.L.O.W.’s</i> real story? Eddie wears one of those Foreign legion camo hats with the drape.
The music in this film is all wrong! It’s either gentle funk or honking sax. </div><div><br /></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiprIriIfycqFk5ogKOneH9ukOiFiymosZENZAmT9ZlfHyHNXdz4-MaHMuAXbx-N5ec95qHmEAFhwTcqob2Q191nhZ8fJ6R7nTsRmKxdq5PJ2oIKdbDtAnCh6EBbocKjcUcHSgjdKGbKwx68hdi0miI4JxMl03XvsFrUgdKCZky2K2-qSAQKPxPm6dRow/s970/smoking%20bunny.png" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="691" data-original-width="970" height="228" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiprIriIfycqFk5ogKOneH9ukOiFiymosZENZAmT9ZlfHyHNXdz4-MaHMuAXbx-N5ec95qHmEAFhwTcqob2Q191nhZ8fJ6R7nTsRmKxdq5PJ2oIKdbDtAnCh6EBbocKjcUcHSgjdKGbKwx68hdi0miI4JxMl03XvsFrUgdKCZky2K2-qSAQKPxPm6dRow/s320/smoking%20bunny.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">exhibit A: Bunny smokes joint</td></tr></tbody></table><br /><div><br /></div><div>They bust out some pot brownies on the road and Eddie eats one while driving. The blonde actress Kristi Somers who was also in <i>Savage Streets (1984)</i> moons some girls and looks pretty attractive. She actually kind of resembles Bambi Woods the lead actress in<i> Debbie Does Dallas (1978).</i> The frat girls finally make it to Vegas but have to face the mafia. Shawn, Eddie Deezen’s buddy is the Delta Pi girl’s worst friend who fucks up their game. Did they really think they wouldn’t have to eventually wrestle more threatening opponents? </div><div><br /></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjunuUlmqEQWqdX6FB-T-Fy3Vy6CbBVAKRmV3kUpdjDsDgEZFg5pLxzr6oKvfsmutTJX1U-ex_YxRzR5Wgg6vzLgT064D17Waj0XoMvzAoGelXMR6h6IMchGXr0CjjDVBK-kR20BzNfO1tb2Oczhv39lvaIoedJTFUsVd5VS_SbRGiuWhRdtAtLlI6pHw/s958/vegas%20lady.png" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="745" data-original-width="958" height="249" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjunuUlmqEQWqdX6FB-T-Fy3Vy6CbBVAKRmV3kUpdjDsDgEZFg5pLxzr6oKvfsmutTJX1U-ex_YxRzR5Wgg6vzLgT064D17Waj0XoMvzAoGelXMR6h6IMchGXr0CjjDVBK-kR20BzNfO1tb2Oczhv39lvaIoedJTFUsVd5VS_SbRGiuWhRdtAtLlI6pHw/s320/vegas%20lady.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Neon Lights a Flashin' and One arm bandits crashin'</td></tr></tbody></table><br /><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>There is some nice vintage authentic Vegas footage. Then we get the obvious workout montage complete w Mugsy cheering them on with a baby megaphone. She shrieks like a banshee over the 80s cheese workout music.
Shawn keeps trying to make deals and the cowboy mafia man wants to stuff Teacup for pooping on his desk! Teacup the bunny remains thee best character nary a word of dialogue. Deezen and Karen (the cute nerd girl) fuck and Eddie thinks her dildo is a rocket! </div><div><br /></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguoKSJbfpBBUBw6VXae9mGGlLp97SekWjbCraUtHHJZc0nJJJj_eKTjZ3SalrgoJeOtcahAvQ8jWqAceN98SKGX5L_ommB-gWubHqRxEkZ3XDEqYCyHP1YocwM2kv9oIFedSzKBTeulwzCygDiNNuNEvM36XVGcT-Q_znaE6xpWsIaCaAVWS8Y5szwkA/s957/schlitz.png" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="749" data-original-width="957" height="250" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguoKSJbfpBBUBw6VXae9mGGlLp97SekWjbCraUtHHJZc0nJJJj_eKTjZ3SalrgoJeOtcahAvQ8jWqAceN98SKGX5L_ommB-gWubHqRxEkZ3XDEqYCyHP1YocwM2kv9oIFedSzKBTeulwzCygDiNNuNEvM36XVGcT-Q_znaE6xpWsIaCaAVWS8Y5szwkA/s320/schlitz.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">We want Schlitz, Sharky Vandervort's fave beer</td></tr></tbody></table><br /><div><br /></div><div>One of the best scenes has the girls joyriding with a poker player as they torture him and drive to kill his car. Their opposing team are called the Nevada Nasties. This time it’s real mud and real wrassling, no bullshit! Matilda the raw meat-eating hottie from <i>G.L.O.W.</i> and other media shows up and others like Fang (who may be a real wrestler not sure). </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjpZLoKxa_1Pk66hO51Yf_F1kp-S9s-n7xPSuA9I7YuNPvkDP6TKSwTxMTDCSXmtMcv11umjnqexxYJplKDMCssi6OqjYVlRwuPCTjQ6BF2zZU4jLgbyFNg7l_3Hn2devxcTeUmkoHqxAK7IYfxPl6ezNwoTMnGXOWgjWtmyT_oSuQq2Q2lmA2EXcvHBQ/s1020/nevade%20nasty.png" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="685" data-original-width="1020" height="215" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjpZLoKxa_1Pk66hO51Yf_F1kp-S9s-n7xPSuA9I7YuNPvkDP6TKSwTxMTDCSXmtMcv11umjnqexxYJplKDMCssi6OqjYVlRwuPCTjQ6BF2zZU4jLgbyFNg7l_3Hn2devxcTeUmkoHqxAK7IYfxPl6ezNwoTMnGXOWgjWtmyT_oSuQq2Q2lmA2EXcvHBQ/s320/nevade%20nasty.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">oh shit, don't let them out!</td></tr></tbody></table><br /><div><br /></div><div>Magic looks pretty sexy and uses her tophat as a way to win. They manage to get a high score but the competition is the only reason to stick around for the ending. Ruth G’s stunt double fights Matilda and then the mafia shows up. No spoilers here. If you’re looking for a dumb comedy with a little bit of everything then check it out. 3 out of 5 stoner rabbit turds.</div>Crankenstienhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09593719076720443439noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3851435459899615804.post-91056036524648528482023-05-22T22:00:00.000-07:002023-05-22T22:43:30.107-07:00USA UP ALL NIGHT WEEK- She Wolves of the Wasteland/ Phoenix The Warrior<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7ho7vI8hd1vzA6Hi5P3EAwxUXGRR8lv2bp_iI_J1RcebDgei6zTwBLR5aXRkLo_VKHq4slWw0UF9UbSofPEWYtgBNzoWSCMyNf5-CTq7xdQTE7QKvMTGlHRy2EkM7dR2HVov82jTrT9BjmSRc3Iz95rbZcGYIXs8P203UU9XlUytPEgXGQ56lpOgA0Q/s706/MV5BNzE2OTgxNGUtZGRkNS00ZjRjLWE1NzEtZTU3NTU5YWE2NzI3XkEyXkFqcGdeQXVyNDUxNjc5NjY@._V1_.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="706" data-original-width="528" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7ho7vI8hd1vzA6Hi5P3EAwxUXGRR8lv2bp_iI_J1RcebDgei6zTwBLR5aXRkLo_VKHq4slWw0UF9UbSofPEWYtgBNzoWSCMyNf5-CTq7xdQTE7QKvMTGlHRy2EkM7dR2HVov82jTrT9BjmSRc3Iz95rbZcGYIXs8P203UU9XlUytPEgXGQ56lpOgA0Q/s320/MV5BNzE2OTgxNGUtZGRkNS00ZjRjLWE1NzEtZTU3NTU5YWE2NzI3XkEyXkFqcGdeQXVyNDUxNjc5NjY@._V1_.jpg" width="239" /></a></div><br /><p></p><div><br /></div><div><span id="docs-internal-guid-99dfe4d1-7fff-cac9-ebc7-d16877162416"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-weight: 700; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">She wolves of the Wasteland - 1988 Directed by Robert Hayes</span></span></div><div><span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-weight: 700; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-weight: 700; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="color: red;">Reviewed by Mark J.</span></span></span></div><div><span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-weight: 700; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span></div>
The movie starts with these Cool <i>Mad Max</i> dune buggies cruising around Death Valley, or is it Chatsworth? Welcome to a world destroyed by men, and ruled by women with automatic weapons and Dark Powers! Is this <i>Thundarr the Barbarian</i>? No, not even close. <div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZ90TgJSD7EHIyWKyhzWRNwFAtlK6QbBkir1bLVtzimq1VHa-OU_xEBVjo_9_7xAmiEWBXalu_KAANcF-FZfmcBuc6nYmRAeiBnrcW_t7nN_Y2fQOB1w558c9uF0BNp-xnvNpwre0vBZ1p4dQ5UAMvARFSfrxMJcuTVKmArs7_7qAxmUi4zLbo8Cec2Q/s409/Screen%20Shot%202023-05-17%20at%202.46.33%20PM.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="317" data-original-width="409" height="248" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZ90TgJSD7EHIyWKyhzWRNwFAtlK6QbBkir1bLVtzimq1VHa-OU_xEBVjo_9_7xAmiEWBXalu_KAANcF-FZfmcBuc6nYmRAeiBnrcW_t7nN_Y2fQOB1w558c9uF0BNp-xnvNpwre0vBZ1p4dQ5UAMvARFSfrxMJcuTVKmArs7_7qAxmUi4zLbo8Cec2Q/s320/Screen%20Shot%202023-05-17%20at%202.46.33%20PM.png" width="320" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div> The Wastelands are ruled by the Reverend Mother who is hell bent on purifying the gene pool. She looks like the Bride of <i>Palpatine</i>, and you can tell how evil she is by how much plastic tubing she wears. Cobalt, her number one, is a ruthless witch who serves her. She has these tubes all over her witchy ensemble. </div><div><br /></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnBVsxQeSBhoyiqWFa9t6PLuyBc7Ys6nKyuOb1wvrKtgDLr1183NRGHWJKtKZ-w1Jp7pKdiC3l8Jo6VfEf2yXe_30bqxK3863Q25ApAABfIOxCfcYDfwvdXF0M2gidPrzcbRagMtWivorcuq46_-96EP7n6ySuuMrKm95pL8FUTslFGQEILPMcwxTUqQ/s368/star%20trek%20lady.png" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="368" data-original-width="367" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnBVsxQeSBhoyiqWFa9t6PLuyBc7Ys6nKyuOb1wvrKtgDLr1183NRGHWJKtKZ-w1Jp7pKdiC3l8Jo6VfEf2yXe_30bqxK3863Q25ApAABfIOxCfcYDfwvdXF0M2gidPrzcbRagMtWivorcuq46_-96EP7n6ySuuMrKm95pL8FUTslFGQEILPMcwxTUqQ/s320/star%20trek%20lady.png" width="319" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span id="docs-internal-guid-58dd376b-7fff-a429-1640-2da65790aeff"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Persis Khambatta as Cobalt is also the bald chick from Star Trek!</span></span></td></tr></tbody></table><br /><div><br /></div><div> Her pussy posse captures a random gal after a short chase, and brings the victim to her mistress to feed upon. The screams can be heard across the wastes, and down in the plumbing. Of course her thirst is never satisfied. </div><div><br /></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixkh1jPJrBhnvvWQQQ--VOZdXqOYcqX2ezpU0kCvgJCwOHh2DSqTUfvE5Hv9K73KPShinjzVuTJgu2wbggHInRyZqpb4TGPyXlHxAQtMEo4pr2gU8teiZO7XPGZF92E-y2enT6Am8mwjvCj_fV3NeTnbScZd5GcXPM3gMDrOMON4dPOb7ce3yelnW09w/s389/crusty%20guy.png" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="389" data-original-width="369" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixkh1jPJrBhnvvWQQQ--VOZdXqOYcqX2ezpU0kCvgJCwOHh2DSqTUfvE5Hv9K73KPShinjzVuTJgu2wbggHInRyZqpb4TGPyXlHxAQtMEo4pr2gU8teiZO7XPGZF92E-y2enT6Am8mwjvCj_fV3NeTnbScZd5GcXPM3gMDrOMON4dPOb7ce3yelnW09w/s320/crusty%20guy.png" width="304" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span id="docs-internal-guid-8de61a1a-7fff-f151-5a8f-e6d3aa067d7b"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">“My genetic program ruined by your stupidity.”</span></span></td></tr></tbody></table><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div> Next we meet the Girl Gang engaged in lots of posing, most of them look like punk/rocker chicks, but one is dressed in a square looking business suit and tie with her hair pulled back like One of the Guys. A poor innocent woman is being savaged by two badass babes, and her friend has a gun pointed at her. </div><div><br /></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilXDav-OIFkf4oIGFjxIoyolvdI9iwaWY3hyZbI20Kb28jN6w5WcNd-mWrdVJpgR5oUl11SSXSKlShOpw6cdw8ozPcuqQ3Myp-LuaXTDeaNuPRJ6I4Fp5UYYVARy11l0oapelnLm5deleEdiB2n8LNx-bsHKnUygh0JwEQ12P2tEt74rcVdbyK3I8X0Q/s394/hairnet.png" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="394" data-original-width="394" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilXDav-OIFkf4oIGFjxIoyolvdI9iwaWY3hyZbI20Kb28jN6w5WcNd-mWrdVJpgR5oUl11SSXSKlShOpw6cdw8ozPcuqQ3Myp-LuaXTDeaNuPRJ6I4Fp5UYYVARy11l0oapelnLm5deleEdiB2n8LNx-bsHKnUygh0JwEQ12P2tEt74rcVdbyK3I8X0Q/s320/hairnet.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span id="docs-internal-guid-df1d2d29-7fff-7d79-8f61-ee5beb5200c2"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Hairnet is bountiful in The Wastelands</span></span></td></tr></tbody></table><br /><div><br /></div><div> Enter our hero Phoenix the Sand Trapper, who eats an apple and kills the bad girls and Keela, the blonde victim, runs around the rocks. It turns out she's pregnant with a boy! More baddies are after them so they run and hide somewhere past an old car door in the desert. </div><div><br /></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZOffxCjIfOLPMKpJLXjN_ZZzklKxFwQ6ogNTwc-OucGSOLS-b1KN4R09el81vQ9zxXorr1Sa-DDQ3vRErAVpEKAxn0WPJJUleE3OK3wUmSPSHY77tz1KNHkYvJH1kgbQgkGwruLcjF6Id4RxRZ86pv3tYZjfUYxhyZGZNtAeo4XwZpCY3-Ii4ZQjB7A/s443/kathleen%20kinmont.png" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="422" data-original-width="443" height="305" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZOffxCjIfOLPMKpJLXjN_ZZzklKxFwQ6ogNTwc-OucGSOLS-b1KN4R09el81vQ9zxXorr1Sa-DDQ3vRErAVpEKAxn0WPJJUleE3OK3wUmSPSHY77tz1KNHkYvJH1kgbQgkGwruLcjF6Id4RxRZ86pv3tYZjfUYxhyZGZNtAeo4XwZpCY3-Ii4ZQjB7A/s320/kathleen%20kinmont.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span id="docs-internal-guid-0d4c14a7-7fff-fef5-2eda-c319063eb548"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Kathleen Kinmount, who plays Phoenix, was in Playboy and Halloween 4</span></span></td></tr></tbody></table><br /><div><br /></div><div> Meanwhile the buggy babes are tracking them, but they stop for a few minutes to have a catfight before picking up the trail. That first kick didn’t even connect! Is this a fight or some form of post apocalyptic interpretive dance? </div><div><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmKi9u0wJH9JR0jxdPh8Zzsw_Ws4h8ua9F_uYIeDTGrcMQOoIxoOuwakMejZeKJLinEcd0a3XSD5dKSw1W2nB3TYy5PolJPvCC_duUbIsjHC5zQCdOjPmjNLSW5RRDRmKQ7f5hLOAz0CW7QNrypfG2DyMfTtrvrmLEvttdm1qwIAT09p41BvK4g9I4FA/s406/gun%20fight.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="406" data-original-width="404" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmKi9u0wJH9JR0jxdPh8Zzsw_Ws4h8ua9F_uYIeDTGrcMQOoIxoOuwakMejZeKJLinEcd0a3XSD5dKSw1W2nB3TYy5PolJPvCC_duUbIsjHC5zQCdOjPmjNLSW5RRDRmKQ7f5hLOAz0CW7QNrypfG2DyMfTtrvrmLEvttdm1qwIAT09p41BvK4g9I4FA/s320/gun%20fight.png" width="318" /></a></div><br /><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>Thankfully our heroes happen upon a waterfall, in the desert even, cuz that’s a thing. Now they get to check out the extended soft waterfall porn scene! Pretty sure every woman is gay in this world. Now watch the sexy dancing and gyrating, and a woman moaning as she gives birth. Making babies is always sexy, even the last part when the baby comes out. </div><div><br /></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgoQn9Xl9MKoh6-fAMSgOicS_uBzc4Nab5Ljym4Lx1Hup5HbXZMJgrpZBTGxSeFZLD2O1l-AxpBVTIABbVJSj6MeUPk_hxwToMPb_S6etd-qnJi_Pp8H78jqk8BfVZaX_4HX6iGAG27JcFypo4GDp_Lc4dSqgsfLkB19rpraLPNaYiNp35vRWBP0Kkgjg/s417/blondies.png" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="378" data-original-width="417" height="290" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgoQn9Xl9MKoh6-fAMSgOicS_uBzc4Nab5Ljym4Lx1Hup5HbXZMJgrpZBTGxSeFZLD2O1l-AxpBVTIABbVJSj6MeUPk_hxwToMPb_S6etd-qnJi_Pp8H78jqk8BfVZaX_4HX6iGAG27JcFypo4GDp_Lc4dSqgsfLkB19rpraLPNaYiNp35vRWBP0Kkgjg/s320/blondies.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">that baby shat out of her perineum like nobodies biz</td></tr></tbody></table><br /><div><br /></div><div>Whew, now we have a baby but oh no, the bad guys kill everyone but our two heroes. </div><div><br /></div><div> Next we meet Skylar, their version of the Feral Kid. Apparently this kid is going to have special powers. Have 5 years gone by?! They wander a bit til they find a shack where the kid finds a porno mag, but mom takes it away from him. That’s how I feel about this movie. It promises to be sexy, but then it ends up just being this weird idea of what a prepubescent teen might THINK is sexy. </div><div><br /></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjuCXoHadYK2Okumz-3gcgZmDowNbWxPVRfJgX-iMSYbHVEyDuceblLmcK-oXAedRnOFati52t23jVLtx3SZMgn82dUxiIeJp8qrGzHqohLmtYtPH2WL8DMSvB5TRUzAn7f_JLZFh18w_thJLtidaRS712eHvCaGB6FSx74h3mCpmQxqpH9NNNzaX0-qA/s385/blondies%202.png" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="378" data-original-width="385" height="314" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjuCXoHadYK2Okumz-3gcgZmDowNbWxPVRfJgX-iMSYbHVEyDuceblLmcK-oXAedRnOFati52t23jVLtx3SZMgn82dUxiIeJp8qrGzHqohLmtYtPH2WL8DMSvB5TRUzAn7f_JLZFh18w_thJLtidaRS712eHvCaGB6FSx74h3mCpmQxqpH9NNNzaX0-qA/s320/blondies%202.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">we're totally sexy</td></tr></tbody></table><br /><div><br /></div><div> It turns out the shack is owned by the last man on earth, who tries to fight them but ends up unconscious so they try to rape him, but he can't get a boner so they give up. The dudes chill though, so he helps them escape through a pipe. Now Phoenix is captured but the others escape thanks to an exploding music box.
Phoenix is sent to the fighting pits where she does some cool sword battles. Much fantasy! She kills two punker chicks, one who is pretty much just wearing electrical tape. Then she fights Neon, who attacks her shield repeatedly to break it. Then her friend comes and shoots a bunch of people, then Phoenix gets some help and hops the fence, then shoots the gun, but not as well. </div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1lYdEjSYMIW0IMfgiolumysQqcjK0CayiIIquOXGu_o1cJYeRC7MJbYfSaXJ9FSX0Wm4mtvObAhBvIZu3yonow8bAibxXATLJtzC2OzLbzlPp_ybQC2ZFpDSYY15ppPzOmVN6fob4cbehWNwE1D8353PrYrwURX5YXEbRDj6doGV6J0ch-kWY-381DA/s389/blurry%20loincloth.png" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="389" data-original-width="370" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1lYdEjSYMIW0IMfgiolumysQqcjK0CayiIIquOXGu_o1cJYeRC7MJbYfSaXJ9FSX0Wm4mtvObAhBvIZu3yonow8bAibxXATLJtzC2OzLbzlPp_ybQC2ZFpDSYY15ppPzOmVN6fob4cbehWNwE1D8353PrYrwURX5YXEbRDj6doGV6J0ch-kWY-381DA/s320/blurry%20loincloth.png" width="304" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">blurry loincloth-fu</td></tr></tbody></table><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div> Now they have a car, so they can cruise around with no real destination, until they run out of gas and wander through the creepy Razul burial ground. </div><div><br /></div><div> Then mutants attack! Our dude kills a TV, and a few of the mutants!</div><div><br /></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjW-SuoPd3ZjORzdL9CMYOVgCMl7LORHIlpBXv-utE5JVlJ78uF7bifFu4ndZI1kpMklol4TBuuYinQe-fhcBQsNHbeejDrnc8-zOeuYG1YiSYpS6rnJBDJ2aZ1JIU7tIHMnGyPLnxKStSph7glim0_q-Rf7IBXnpYAGuKs7y9UF9Aer8HDw_JudAfDyw/s375/blurry%20dude.png" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="371" data-original-width="375" height="317" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjW-SuoPd3ZjORzdL9CMYOVgCMl7LORHIlpBXv-utE5JVlJ78uF7bifFu4ndZI1kpMklol4TBuuYinQe-fhcBQsNHbeejDrnc8-zOeuYG1YiSYpS6rnJBDJ2aZ1JIU7tIHMnGyPLnxKStSph7glim0_q-Rf7IBXnpYAGuKs7y9UF9Aer8HDw_JudAfDyw/s320/blurry%20dude.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">just imagine the mutants OK?</td></tr></tbody></table><div><br /></div><div>But they end up capturing them, and the males are taken away to be harvested or something. The mutants try to cancel our two nubile heroes with the TV Guide, but Neon saves them! </div><div><br /></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-2xVVBLrc75hcIbd7GXB_wy4_2jQQ5cPhk6tdGnjfgMLwHeyw2u483-pYV3bi2JdXuOcwImlrPtVVH9RSFYQQhhtV7s0jh3DlRFNrSBrw_RLTSJ1jd_Tv1GIyTPtygXAa7a7UzhwrF7-9lj-vjCi5qLVgEoG-bdQm99afeyRvL41jNWZjZH4Afelxrg/s376/book%20lady.png" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="366" data-original-width="376" height="311" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-2xVVBLrc75hcIbd7GXB_wy4_2jQQ5cPhk6tdGnjfgMLwHeyw2u483-pYV3bi2JdXuOcwImlrPtVVH9RSFYQQhhtV7s0jh3DlRFNrSBrw_RLTSJ1jd_Tv1GIyTPtygXAa7a7UzhwrF7-9lj-vjCi5qLVgEoG-bdQm99afeyRvL41jNWZjZH4Afelxrg/s320/book%20lady.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">reading is fun even for the mutated.</td></tr></tbody></table><div><br /></div><div> Cut to the final battle that starts with many explosions to draw out the bloody butch gal who scares everyone with all the bloody streaks down her face, but she just falls and dies before she can do anything. </div><div><br /></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFqjAhStfXndesWi8OY2KSmQxXbkUyq5C4i8tExWSFR0lGWREDEsKV0EJOipumD9x77drIwS7UnbXC70FCVgxN7iaH7Ekdcgy4r8ismyPV1IMMYtJ0rPulPRF6dUaDgFCnpm3O9MIbiqouhMuDYCcAOO_ylxdRZ-S8wD8WSIIcppvW5iCvJIf8brUxTg/s365/mutant%20man.png" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="354" data-original-width="365" height="310" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFqjAhStfXndesWi8OY2KSmQxXbkUyq5C4i8tExWSFR0lGWREDEsKV0EJOipumD9x77drIwS7UnbXC70FCVgxN7iaH7Ekdcgy4r8ismyPV1IMMYtJ0rPulPRF6dUaDgFCnpm3O9MIbiqouhMuDYCcAOO_ylxdRZ-S8wD8WSIIcppvW5iCvJIf8brUxTg/s320/mutant%20man.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I mean it was all worth it right?</td></tr></tbody></table><br /><div><br /></div><div> Cobalt hunts them through the tunnels with a gun until Phoenix swings in on a chain, uselessly getting cornered against a pipe where she is about to be stabbed but no! She pulls the classic pull the pin on the grenade trick FTW! Now that evil mother is the last one left. She almost defeats our heroes with her mystic mind powers, but Keela cuts her weird cyborg umbilical cord, and kills the malevolent matriarch. </div><div>Queue Phoenix riding off on a horse by herself, ready for the next adventure.</div></div>Crankenstienhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09593719076720443439noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3851435459899615804.post-47496347321120584492023-05-22T15:46:00.000-07:002023-05-23T16:13:32.156-07:00USA UP ALL NIGHT RETURNS 2023! Reform School Girls.<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEglnpQmWj5x1WKM5IFYd2_-zcelTy4xG4kqT6UNZQ1lQv_wSf7vnMB98UwyOgrrNTQ1jzmQNP63L3F4l8BzlwoaDCcWpQNhhzmDFCqJs8hPlmwtKBYv6DHUAuJZeKqGDCAueQRXWLHobMdExm-fZ2dO9ePnJAiCDTK452dDXySRD3bWWOZ8YUuvs3rbrg/s640/smiley%20gilbert.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="422" data-original-width="640" height="211" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEglnpQmWj5x1WKM5IFYd2_-zcelTy4xG4kqT6UNZQ1lQv_wSf7vnMB98UwyOgrrNTQ1jzmQNP63L3F4l8BzlwoaDCcWpQNhhzmDFCqJs8hPlmwtKBYv6DHUAuJZeKqGDCAueQRXWLHobMdExm-fZ2dO9ePnJAiCDTK452dDXySRD3bWWOZ8YUuvs3rbrg/s320/smiley%20gilbert.png" width="320" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimi4aTr5wKFuS8_5TRwdMhSYSZk7LGS5kpDXT6b1XFd3ot1Ft1xVgU35limlN8D1U6szTJmle75qfVakLNayG5l3vIKz9nU-au7u6gxoBEcQK1tUHavcdeEdM_Xk0ddXm0NpYucjUIgZIX_7ZLvlg7OjTiJx5nHUfAkG3l4TnUUEFBW6lUjiOomiulmw/s1097/red%20hot%20rhonda.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="797" data-original-width="1097" height="232" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimi4aTr5wKFuS8_5TRwdMhSYSZk7LGS5kpDXT6b1XFd3ot1Ft1xVgU35limlN8D1U6szTJmle75qfVakLNayG5l3vIKz9nU-au7u6gxoBEcQK1tUHavcdeEdM_Xk0ddXm0NpYucjUIgZIX_7ZLvlg7OjTiJx5nHUfAkG3l4TnUUEFBW6lUjiOomiulmw/s320/red%20hot%20rhonda.png" width="320" /></a></div><br /><p></p>
This week is all about that jolt of freaky fondness your brain waves crave like so much dopamine when we bring back the RETURN OF USA UP ALL NIGHT WEEK! <div><br /></div><div>So, for those who have no idea about this influential show (which by the way has nothing to do with Chas Balun or Deep Red at all and is a shameless attempt to gain up more followers and attention).
This year made me long to tackle the show again, since the VHS vault has been scraped heavily and there’s lots of bimbos, dimwits and drooling carnivorous mutant films to cover.</div><div><br /></div><div>So, this week get baked, drunk or pop pills and wax all nostalgic like on the early 90's when horror hosts reigned supreme and the airwaves were invaded by freaks like Commander USA, Svengoolie, the ever-popular Elvira. And Joe Bob Briggs on Shudder carries the torch and remains thee most popular Horror Host still going strong.
Rhonda Shear and Gilbert Gottfried R.I.P. (Feb. 28-1955/April 12-2022) are who we are celebrating this week. Don't forget to support Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast. </div><div><br /></div><div>So on with the review. </div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzN1JH0Chgm6wvqOcRmxI1Ca0DEpfSElW962Shez03SkjKVdALfGN_7DDHAxbZJg8S1at4M-crkfsG-8C0VLRRScNMLfblqVGZHvLLrxzJzOm8kZb_uVhlU1QgUdOs2YJmhWOR5lAz4qMpqIAuAQpxD3qoR7LELKImfsINPf5ssg3TsSHec0AfENlm3Q/s533/Screen%20Shot%202023-04-18%20at%201.41.50%20AM.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="533" data-original-width="344" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzN1JH0Chgm6wvqOcRmxI1Ca0DEpfSElW962Shez03SkjKVdALfGN_7DDHAxbZJg8S1at4M-crkfsG-8C0VLRRScNMLfblqVGZHvLLrxzJzOm8kZb_uVhlU1QgUdOs2YJmhWOR5lAz4qMpqIAuAQpxD3qoR7LELKImfsINPf5ssg3TsSHec0AfENlm3Q/w259-h400/Screen%20Shot%202023-04-18%20at%201.41.50%20AM.png" width="259" /></a></div><br /><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>This is a USA UP ALL NIGHT staple that just came out on Blu-ray a few years ago packed with extras like Peaches Christ commentary. Make sure to pick it up <a href="https://vinegarsyndrome.com/products/reform-school-girls.">https://vinegarsyndrome.com/products/reform-school-girls.</a></div><div><i><br /></i></div><div><i>Reform School Girls</i> is Tom Desimone’s third WIP film (previous ones were <i>Concrete Jungle (1982) </i>and <i>Hell Hole (1985</i>). He also worked in the early days of gay porn, made <i>Hell Night (1981)</i> and <i>Chatter Box</i> (1977) with Candice Rialson (<i>Pets (1973), Hollywood Boulevard (1976</i>). </div><div><br /></div><div>Wendy O’s titular theme song plays over the credits. This is an instant kinetic classic that uses the tride and true early exploitation methods. It’s a beloved spoof of WIP films with teenage delinquent elements. The soundtrack is killer. Etta James even does a song, she’s one of the ultimate bad girls of R&B/ Soul music. </div><div><br /></div><div>It has the vibes of <i>Chained Heat</i> and <i>Polyester</i>, especially during the extra filthy delousing scene. “happy hunting pig!” spits one bent over jail babe played by Denise Gordy.
Pat Ast (who was in two amazing music videos by Donna Summer and Motley Crue) looks like if Edie Massey and Shirley Stoler had a deformed sexy sister who also resembles Nancy Parsons from<i> Porkys (1981)</i> and <i>Motel Hell (1980).</i> There’s some raunchy eye candy in this one, Linda Carol, a pretty blonde is the main dopey character who makes bad decisions. The year after she was in the Frankie and Annette throwback <i>Back to the Beach (1986).</i> </div><div><br /></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIbKTTp2e7ZbatG5qjt2GEE2j3z1vlC7EfyBFARWqum7l7FJs4IFeCDDsLMNFVYL0fj35IEFryD1ES-Qtmz5ndaG_5DHIzOK8O9IqVvPiU5kAnD9mh8XTC5S6gH_cFDvu7ydTftZHradhCy7P80nuEK-BdjKiyoj4oisw9UhLMIhrcP-lS21JmlPLgGA/s1266/spread%20em.png" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="734" data-original-width="1266" height="186" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIbKTTp2e7ZbatG5qjt2GEE2j3z1vlC7EfyBFARWqum7l7FJs4IFeCDDsLMNFVYL0fj35IEFryD1ES-Qtmz5ndaG_5DHIzOK8O9IqVvPiU5kAnD9mh8XTC5S6gH_cFDvu7ydTftZHradhCy7P80nuEK-BdjKiyoj4oisw9UhLMIhrcP-lS21JmlPLgGA/s320/spread%20em.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">are sure, we smile with our buttcheeks!</td></tr></tbody></table><br /><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>Wendy O is naturally super talented, she barks her lines most of the time. She starts the movie with a slap fight in her panties. I always retch a little when she spits out meat during the lunchroom scene. Of course, she’s chummy with Big Edna (Pat Ast’s menacing character). Charlie (Wendy O) wears these thigh high black boots even in the shower.
Terri the chunky nerd girl in many 80’s movies is played Winifred Freedman. You know the girl from <i>The Naked Gun (1988)</i> who’s driving teacher instructs her to extend the middle finger towards a trucker. I love that actress and scene. </div><div><br /></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDcy6yxdAV9_pVe0sngbi-irMSkABQlGD_3YmrV0quBXor8lrlzlD2xx3F3ESbkoTLilDyQXMJVmMtOh-1rM_a2CoDmGDSx1shlFHYyPfue9AHvhMMjs3RvSS7OmBRc_QHHRakyim3FAnOQ_KylVMqRKx3E-mNFEIhK9D68mzmPqI5BKkKV-aXIjCPVQ/s637/Screen%20Shot%202023-04-18%20at%202.07.12%20AM.png" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="536" data-original-width="637" height="269" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDcy6yxdAV9_pVe0sngbi-irMSkABQlGD_3YmrV0quBXor8lrlzlD2xx3F3ESbkoTLilDyQXMJVmMtOh-1rM_a2CoDmGDSx1shlFHYyPfue9AHvhMMjs3RvSS7OmBRc_QHHRakyim3FAnOQ_KylVMqRKx3E-mNFEIhK9D68mzmPqI5BKkKV-aXIjCPVQ/s320/Screen%20Shot%202023-04-18%20at%202.07.12%20AM.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">extend that middle finger girl.</td></tr></tbody></table><br /><div><br /></div><div>I remember two things from that trip my middle school took to a local Florida prison in the late 80s. The police told us that the inmates made weapons out of anything (there’s a razor toothbrush combo in this film). When Big Edna (Ast) growls out “Fingers above the sheets”, it just reminded me that the police are too involved in the sexual habits of their convicts. Since both these prison elements are present I know Tom Desimone has done his homework. I have to say there are some realistic elements along with the lampooning. One childlike prisoner named Lisa freaks out when Big Edna ignites a toy bunny in front of her as a fear tactic. This triggers a really bad manic episode. Sherri Stoner plays the timid Lisa character, she is the voice of Slappy from <i>Animaniacs (93-98)</i>. </div><div><br /></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbRcn_izPTum7wGgXDp_UYH3mfAag0zX-s7G9-sR7VuyYOl6bF7vxfBpkUIr6-GB9G9qMXwKmfOvFy0ukvqaIt9AmLOT3xGr7WmzH7FGh2CFDrDKzslE9Y-8YeRFPRSt3uLklOPFCUpYDusxNS-yM6OweB55edwpHzwzE-f1iIwDf2sEcjUaPhoRb2yw/s1280/wendy%20crotch.png" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="772" data-original-width="1280" height="193" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbRcn_izPTum7wGgXDp_UYH3mfAag0zX-s7G9-sR7VuyYOl6bF7vxfBpkUIr6-GB9G9qMXwKmfOvFy0ukvqaIt9AmLOT3xGr7WmzH7FGh2CFDrDKzslE9Y-8YeRFPRSt3uLklOPFCUpYDusxNS-yM6OweB55edwpHzwzE-f1iIwDf2sEcjUaPhoRb2yw/s320/wendy%20crotch.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">smell the crotch rot stink on your Odor-ama card here.</td></tr></tbody></table><br /><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>Sybil Danning shows up holding a riding crop as the warden. In <i>Psychotronic Video</i> (35/01) the director mentioned how the studio wanted to use her as bait for kids to rent the movie, which is ridiculous because she doesn’t go topless. This is one of those rare films where she decided not to go there. I found the signs that say “No Gum chewing” and “No Lipstick” goofy but amusing. Charlie (Wendy O) gets to work out and drink Ice Tea while the poor inmate girls have to rake the fields. </div><div><br /></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOkNHURUOrVOB9GXrGnOvPDUY82e8NzHIPObVPj417m0b1G7gUMv4Je4-7oLOolBlW9XMwqa8dV2d919NdsMDM39OI7tHAIUfa9uhczP8trvgnPzgWP_9g94u64B7rB2BpUOzQmlfuVwrojOgJesCbN2nGU7jxro5qCsgaOzBKO7cmJ5_pg7yF0cntAw/s1280/wendy%20ice%20tea.png" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="771" data-original-width="1280" height="193" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOkNHURUOrVOB9GXrGnOvPDUY82e8NzHIPObVPj417m0b1G7gUMv4Je4-7oLOolBlW9XMwqa8dV2d919NdsMDM39OI7tHAIUfa9uhczP8trvgnPzgWP_9g94u64B7rB2BpUOzQmlfuVwrojOgJesCbN2nGU7jxro5qCsgaOzBKO7cmJ5_pg7yF0cntAw/s320/wendy%20ice%20tea.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I add Natty light to my Ice Tea to make it extra yummy.</td></tr></tbody></table><br /><div><br /></div><div>They brand girls on the buttcheek with a circle and Lisa almost gets the coat hanger burn. She gets something worse, time in solitary. </div><div><br /></div><div>This movie is well made but the first half has a serious tone. Don’t get me wrong, I love it but it didn’t crack me up like I remember it doing in the past. It’s great just don’t expect to howl with laughter. </div><div><br /></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8NB-QQQ87NmzU-s6MW39xXlejqvva1ndcaiiXhjdIhefUG8iB4NaTQcapq5st2_azLgXpTbBFQatusWJH_IzKkdVgpWeniE6_3q4zr7_-HM4Ik9t2YFkkF8eMknTTmjgGLiRVCrRnZhUlh0Ni6y45Wt4rOiAIgJYK77fZoa1oalFqGFTxmXaLjNJxcw/s1272/big%20edna.png" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="770" data-original-width="1272" height="194" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8NB-QQQ87NmzU-s6MW39xXlejqvva1ndcaiiXhjdIhefUG8iB4NaTQcapq5st2_azLgXpTbBFQatusWJH_IzKkdVgpWeniE6_3q4zr7_-HM4Ik9t2YFkkF8eMknTTmjgGLiRVCrRnZhUlh0Ni6y45Wt4rOiAIgJYK77fZoa1oalFqGFTxmXaLjNJxcw/s320/big%20edna.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">You didn't laugh? I'll flog you Crank, you'll die!</td></tr></tbody></table><br /><div><br /></div><div>The Norton character played by Charlotte McGinnis acts like the HR dept. and both Pat Ast and Danning as the warden care little for the inmates well-being. McGinnis was a last-minute choice after Mary Woronov bowed out of the project, that aforementioned actress had a short but memorable topless role in <i>Hardcore (1979). </i></div><div><br /></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTNr_TOPCFWjzRhoN67jGQkepnuTtGTCrhMsA7PlbJgV1bNrbF3LEIl7y76Z4Fhs918w7eRtPzfbz6BUclehaicYg2kOLjrpLCC9TPsRXK27Uouw6lY6KHVVfERgsW6uBCBwmVgdjfBcbI7T31GJikvFAraplg1_dUBA8XxHwrdGgaYwjhCx5PAXlmKg/s1276/burn%20girl.png" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="763" data-original-width="1276" height="191" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTNr_TOPCFWjzRhoN67jGQkepnuTtGTCrhMsA7PlbJgV1bNrbF3LEIl7y76Z4Fhs918w7eRtPzfbz6BUclehaicYg2kOLjrpLCC9TPsRXK27Uouw6lY6KHVVfERgsW6uBCBwmVgdjfBcbI7T31GJikvFAraplg1_dUBA8XxHwrdGgaYwjhCx5PAXlmKg/s320/burn%20girl.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">in Hardcore she asked George C. Scott to pull his dick out too!</td></tr></tbody></table><br /><div><br /></div><div>A bunch of girl’s fake stomach cramps so the main girl can sneak out. Wendy O is aware that it’s happening and that’s bad news. One male character with a Danny Bonaduce vibe
actually says “Sit on my face and I’ll guess your weight” to Jenny (Linda Carol), how crude! </div><div><br /></div><div>Lisa gets a really nice sizzle on her brand finally! I mean even her dorm mates agree that she needs to be broken in, yikes! </div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWpFoyFRQPZoHstIPhS9BGmezZdP9dCpGpzSFN5OcZn6lG3GF0fnYMb4T11D1W8XTcZ3G3DzfRlmH7ZfPVlwHzC82aZjEYOdN3noSTDFnyJqnjZmhf6k18tlfmTDEIPsO9bakxS88ZAXPIpVrr9UlgJ4882PQ18SBEgmOo0pjbdrM5mDOJcN-Rf1QTvA/s1272/sybil%20dann.png" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="766" data-original-width="1272" height="193" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWpFoyFRQPZoHstIPhS9BGmezZdP9dCpGpzSFN5OcZn6lG3GF0fnYMb4T11D1W8XTcZ3G3DzfRlmH7ZfPVlwHzC82aZjEYOdN3noSTDFnyJqnjZmhf6k18tlfmTDEIPsO9bakxS88ZAXPIpVrr9UlgJ4882PQ18SBEgmOo0pjbdrM5mDOJcN-Rf1QTvA/s320/sybil%20dann.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">You think the up to the neck outfit was a message that no puppies will spill out this time?</td></tr></tbody></table><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>Wendy O is on fire during most scenes. Some choice dialogue is You’re all wankers! And “Let’s beat the shit outta each other”! Edna finally finds a stray cat that Lisa smuggled in and stomps on it. Her and Wendy are live action cartoons, everything about them is overly exaggerated. This film is just glorious on so many levels. </div><div><br /></div><div>The death of a major character triggers a riot and the hierarchy starts to crumble. This is one of the best WIP movies in the top 5 at least. It has some of the sleaziest shower scenes. It ties with <i>Chained Heat (1983) </i>and Sybil Danning gets nude in that one, here she buttons up to her neck! I give it 5 out of 5 Delousing nozzles. </div><div><br /></div><div>Don’t miss the insane ending where Wendy O rides a flaming death bus straight through the screen threatening to ignite it.</div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFlkSKZIBfdHUFKYtU0980spvjM9bZpOIlM7QnfKHabXhfNHuPKZZzHbllmgkGH1Lj9TLuLgML5hS7iMdS2ywMT-mepd-9-n7hehYri4h8rikQssp3F3A6KJW0QPo5KEMXCLY97PoxS8n9dFzgcOBgtt8JfAFC_UioI3MI7PYd5U26_ivEKLftoRO7cA/s1272/wendy%20burn.png" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="793" data-original-width="1272" height="199" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFlkSKZIBfdHUFKYtU0980spvjM9bZpOIlM7QnfKHabXhfNHuPKZZzHbllmgkGH1Lj9TLuLgML5hS7iMdS2ywMT-mepd-9-n7hehYri4h8rikQssp3F3A6KJW0QPo5KEMXCLY97PoxS8n9dFzgcOBgtt8JfAFC_UioI3MI7PYd5U26_ivEKLftoRO7cA/s320/wendy%20burn.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Wendy O gone but not forgotten!</td></tr></tbody></table><br /><div><br /></div><div><br /></div>Crankenstienhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09593719076720443439noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3851435459899615804.post-65364954288330489162023-04-24T15:07:00.000-07:002023-04-24T15:07:43.577-07:00Moonchild (El nino de la luna)<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjt4AAWH4kxVdZxmtlltLuZ0a1-c5ZF46lQos6dLYr2mh4DegjNFg25BxdKUFSLwcftfNHhAZnlPFbSGuF8GaUb50n_vsRFIosnfmdqmb--7ujU55_EXjIzYCuCVpaK39BYRgD7GvoxFY4V1dWc6zhcstyy2D5lXxH-StAdVOySTFOJ7pZ6kf-fJMMNSg/s542/moonchild%20poster.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="542" data-original-width="375" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjt4AAWH4kxVdZxmtlltLuZ0a1-c5ZF46lQos6dLYr2mh4DegjNFg25BxdKUFSLwcftfNHhAZnlPFbSGuF8GaUb50n_vsRFIosnfmdqmb--7ujU55_EXjIzYCuCVpaK39BYRgD7GvoxFY4V1dWc6zhcstyy2D5lXxH-StAdVOySTFOJ7pZ6kf-fJMMNSg/w276-h400/moonchild%20poster.png" width="276" /></a></div><p></p><p><b> Moonchild (El nino del la luna) Dir by Agustí Villaronga 1989.</b></p><p>
How much eerie whispering and hocus pocus can you cram into a single introduction as if you’re in a nonsensical competition with <i>The Visitor (1979)</i>? Whew! It’s OK though because it’s just a dream or is it? Well anyway we got the ethereally beautiful Lisa Gerrard of <i>Dead Can Dance</i> and the dir of <i>In A Glass Cage</i>, which is a movie I only saw twice (once to take notes during my review). That aforementioned film is so repugnant that I don’t ever want to see it again but I do have respect for the film maker who recently passed away. </p><p>David has the power of the moon and to spook his adopted mother Maribel Martin star of the <i>Blood Spattered Bride (1972).</i> This was Martin’s last acting credit and she was in another amazing film we reviewed called <i>Roots of Evil (1979)</i>. David ends up at an X-men type school for freaks, you know kids with mind powers and such. Lisa climbs under a chair during a meeting and sees the young telepathic. The plot had something to do with impregnating the moon. Maybe this is where <i>Neon Joe: Werewolf Hunter</i> got the idea from? </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6MFW4E4UayLHR7oJFonsrbDAplJgZyghivrkbBH9wDp33VBK3lbpUHjXIdJNWrSTNWiui-kMiU-bUUxivEJAh_Td-_Uz6Pdu7FOusvgF4mbWdFSDAcylMpUumEWbNM61CZlZvJCUJj8mKB7U98lP8dJVhl0w9AQ1--h3W9hpmx5YwyM2LGLRoU4KH7A/s1280/maxresdefault.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="720" data-original-width="1280" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6MFW4E4UayLHR7oJFonsrbDAplJgZyghivrkbBH9wDp33VBK3lbpUHjXIdJNWrSTNWiui-kMiU-bUUxivEJAh_Td-_Uz6Pdu7FOusvgF4mbWdFSDAcylMpUumEWbNM61CZlZvJCUJj8mKB7U98lP8dJVhl0w9AQ1--h3W9hpmx5YwyM2LGLRoU4KH7A/s320/maxresdefault.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><p><br /></p><p>Poor little David is now looking for the answers from the moon’s light. The subs cut in and out at one point, and I sadly don’t speak Spanish so I kind of assumed what people were saying at points. Dave discovers Georgina’s (Gerrard) picture and is seen by the commanders of the academy as a silly ridiculous woman. Hey! No talking shit about LG or <i>Dead Can Dance</i>! The first time I heard that band was in high school, I was just getting into hardcore music in Florida and was at a Miami record store called Yesterday and Today. I overheard a punk girl ask for her specially ordered record (you couldn’t find their catalog in the US yet) and I heard their music described as terrifying and hypnotic. There was even a skate video that used Cantara as a ridiculously outlandish choice verses “normal hardcore punk”. </p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_ptprcjg3et-WcCrsXTQMFX23mZNopqaappCaGCGhMGF_XfI18OczszrB4HCT3cSsOdbFJWdk2IMGq7kwKVd-k7um-qzkFdvl2dCo9cbEvjCirykUzkfcXZb07nZz9EyyFNXf2cm7irqWWt-CEohdPSRM5bs2Q__PUeZVLqyN80eNwYLliGwIc19pAw/s300/dead-can-dance-young3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="281" data-original-width="300" height="281" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_ptprcjg3et-WcCrsXTQMFX23mZNopqaappCaGCGhMGF_XfI18OczszrB4HCT3cSsOdbFJWdk2IMGq7kwKVd-k7um-qzkFdvl2dCo9cbEvjCirykUzkfcXZb07nZz9EyyFNXf2cm7irqWWt-CEohdPSRM5bs2Q__PUeZVLqyN80eNwYLliGwIc19pAw/s1600/dead-can-dance-young3.jpg" width="300" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">music to get mangled on a skate board to?</td></tr></tbody></table><br /><p>I can’t tell what time period this film is supposed to take place but it looks like the 20s. Daveed (or David our main protagonist) chooses Lisa as the mother of the moon. The plot is nonexistent so if you need a movie with one, go watch something dumb like a Marvel movie. This one is arthouse baby! </p><p>The pint sized moon boy keeps tempting Gerrard’s character Georgina with booze because she’s an alcoholic. Oh, and get this-- LG goes full blonde bush out nude in this role as she’s strapped to a table. Her and David Sust from <i>In A Glass Cage (1986)</i> have to fuck to satisfy the moon. He looks unrecognizable in big coke bottle-specs. Why is any of this happening, uhhh arthouse? </p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-nEpEweiKb2VfBo2lopHIk6-1B37uAH57TPraTkxH4ZG435PzEVbVTN-O7YQngxHDSSkulETFrm8vWvX6YjefI8lbAxfr7Cfkr4OVTw3gi2nKc4eyuA6nIyrNapbYufL0WjszjnhJeB5riTQJVP5Ytep8u4AGsamLYrhd_7EzV1QSfX0eYaXSE9DtKw/s1082/65179f6af0582d778eaa312d5616554d.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1082" data-original-width="564" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-nEpEweiKb2VfBo2lopHIk6-1B37uAH57TPraTkxH4ZG435PzEVbVTN-O7YQngxHDSSkulETFrm8vWvX6YjefI8lbAxfr7Cfkr4OVTw3gi2nKc4eyuA6nIyrNapbYufL0WjszjnhJeB5riTQJVP5Ytep8u4AGsamLYrhd_7EzV1QSfX0eYaXSE9DtKw/s320/65179f6af0582d778eaa312d5616554d.jpg" width="167" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">you don't get it since it's too high brow for you Crank!</td></tr></tbody></table><p>When Georgina looks up at the moon, I wondered if the Mac Tonight guy would look down from the stratosphere and wink. This scene takes a hard right as the poor frightened LG is surrounded by the clinically metal instruments of surgeons. There’s a break out of jail scene with the three main characters.
Maribel Martin’s character finds her adopted son and puts him in a rubber room. They all want to protect the pregnancy. Next hitmen are hired that use poison darts. Lisa and David escape on a boat to Africa. SPOILER. Coke bottle glasses doesn’t make it. </p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhl2dAM_6zjgNCM06kfry27Eqbg3ReUfVYkDvR4BGLHwkkM-_iO9oXMIJ-QBeYhoMaMX-JRay0-JnydHECl9Gg9wSZBtRqiMPyIe1YIFx8NE6loFUqtnMTaFoUTVs6EKlBY92eWHF7uebFzn3TZ8C0hPPmCGtWJleKFb2lAaG9C3KHMQEi8FjlErFXXAA/s384/Screen%20Shot%202023-04-24%20at%202.43.17%20PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="384" data-original-width="268" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhl2dAM_6zjgNCM06kfry27Eqbg3ReUfVYkDvR4BGLHwkkM-_iO9oXMIJ-QBeYhoMaMX-JRay0-JnydHECl9Gg9wSZBtRqiMPyIe1YIFx8NE6loFUqtnMTaFoUTVs6EKlBY92eWHF7uebFzn3TZ8C0hPPmCGtWJleKFb2lAaG9C3KHMQEi8FjlErFXXAA/s320/Screen%20Shot%202023-04-24%20at%202.43.17%20PM.png" width="223" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Mac tonight sucks and so does the Alt Right!</td></tr></tbody></table><br /><p>One of the first Maiden albums I bought was <i>Seventh Son...</i>, so I was singing "Moonchild" in my head for the title of this film. There are several films with that same title, one from 1972, 1989,1994 and 2003. </p><p>Once they get to Africa, I can’t tell what they’re up to because the subs stopped working and I should learn Spanish, thanks for reminding me Skunkape TV!
There’s 40 mins left somehow! Why, arthouse! </p><p>Slugworth shows up finally up as a Col. Kurtz-esque figure. He’s got that Pat Todd (legendary singer from The Lazy Cowgirls) skullet hairstyle. The end has them in a <i>Beyond (1981)</i> type sandstorm with the wolves running and David Warbeck’s blind eyes blazing. </p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhra7XZREtl4Gv5DyKw33s5hVWtO1ji8uFLYkjR3Ob4F5TfLReEFikAM7KthmEyW2buXk6cXqzpC2O3BUraPIbRzFARFatU89BHcdFbjqY-aeDt1Y9IbidEcIcYrXYjuuSNIzSVAihlw_a2nnZY66Y1kOZjSquaM5hzFPDd8e4Cdisn36G4_LqoPOggQQ/s637/Screen%20Shot%202023-04-24%20at%202.54.20%20PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="380" data-original-width="637" height="191" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhra7XZREtl4Gv5DyKw33s5hVWtO1ji8uFLYkjR3Ob4F5TfLReEFikAM7KthmEyW2buXk6cXqzpC2O3BUraPIbRzFARFatU89BHcdFbjqY-aeDt1Y9IbidEcIcYrXYjuuSNIzSVAihlw_a2nnZY66Y1kOZjSquaM5hzFPDd8e4Cdisn36G4_LqoPOggQQ/s320/Screen%20Shot%202023-04-24%20at%202.54.20%20PM.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The Horror.... the horror (Slugworth Kurtz) </td></tr></tbody></table><p>David the main child in this film and his mother’s relationship makes me uncomfortable.
What does it all mean? I’ve read some reviews on Imdb and people are scratching their heads too, you may as well. I hate to say it but I thought <i>In A Glass Cage (1986)</i> was more coherent if not unpleasant. This one is very pleasant and the cinematography is masterful AF.
His adopted Mom seems to have a heart after all as she listens to the babblings of her son. He gives an impassioned speech. There are a lot of unnecessary fadeouts. I give this one 2 trips through the Criterion Closet out of 5.</p>Crankenstienhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09593719076720443439noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3851435459899615804.post-31414905050580922702023-04-15T23:50:00.000-07:002023-04-15T23:50:14.994-07:00Magic Crystal<p> </p><b><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAMmXdlYpwf4oazBbpx9xzMcD1XSSGBo6-lDp4OgIZqjE5aix3IOWlAB6EDlYTBbbFO3iY26G-0adDivPED6-uvvdjuVu6cXjC9NVTKm-03wDv5RIvWz9dzDTchlmHvwxBKv-pJPvZX5P9DvqRWayI11sXMr_6cggHy45TUqojB1pxlCc6v_c0e7JbSg/s1980/MagicCrystal+1986-156-b.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1980" data-original-width="1299" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAMmXdlYpwf4oazBbpx9xzMcD1XSSGBo6-lDp4OgIZqjE5aix3IOWlAB6EDlYTBbbFO3iY26G-0adDivPED6-uvvdjuVu6cXjC9NVTKm-03wDv5RIvWz9dzDTchlmHvwxBKv-pJPvZX5P9DvqRWayI11sXMr_6cggHy45TUqojB1pxlCc6v_c0e7JbSg/s320/MagicCrystal+1986-156-b.jpg" width="210" /></a></div><br /><b><br /></b></div>
Magic Crystal (1986) Directed by Jing Wong.</b>
Ever since I got my Skunkape TV, reviewing movies has been so much more Instamatic. Tonight, we’re venturing to Hong Kong (Jing Wong’s depraved and demented version) with our film in question <i>Magic Crystal</i>. It starts off with a workout montage then a brutal fight where one dude falls through a glass table. The main star Andy Lau and his stout sidekick played by director/writer Wong Jing has a bowl haircut and goggles that look like they came from the magic store in<i> Pee wee’s Big Adventure (1985)</i>. The nerd bowl cut guy (Wong) almost gets pulverized for picking on a little kid by the boy’s gigantic Dad. <div><br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvcSjXnMN22S5BhzP6VHvaJtT76ei0xbcCkrRyWJOLfUBpKXFi0--5BQcbfGCUmRcxdlh8SFtLBpXjsN3u6z0Lfc9BLFm4A2d0Kflh8kU8ZL6EQf5U4P7xD0pYRLrJWfcngUFIv3fyaRz1gIPLCSOD8gqiI1LbkZ4WF5lson50TGshOoUqXxBj3-b9jQ/s1115/jing%20glasses.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="672" data-original-width="1115" height="193" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvcSjXnMN22S5BhzP6VHvaJtT76ei0xbcCkrRyWJOLfUBpKXFi0--5BQcbfGCUmRcxdlh8SFtLBpXjsN3u6z0Lfc9BLFm4A2d0Kflh8kU8ZL6EQf5U4P7xD0pYRLrJWfcngUFIv3fyaRz1gIPLCSOD8gqiI1LbkZ4WF5lson50TGshOoUqXxBj3-b9jQ/s320/jing%20glasses.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">they call me Chinese Pee Wee</td></tr></tbody></table><br /><div><br /></div><div>This movie so far is uneven, it can’t tell which direction it wants to go in but it loves montages because there have been at least three I’ve failed to mention. I expect more shock out of Mr. Wong considering his resume. This is downright polite! But as you’ll see later he went the Spielberg route with mixed results. I could see Skunkape and I doing an old fashioned Point/ Counter Point on this film. </div><div><br /></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEio0hTIR5lbErxmhrYiqIYffGdSQIi4RXsfIa2njHU-ZrNCEv5fFag4azU3RszRx2AKKvNeHyipPyR-oPDr-srrUUrzUQOxmtLm-KrKKhaRH6mWdj0Ca8m0JuefXr7nFkuWCBnruNJT-AEtQSLBawRgQ41L--Zyh2SIzwVX64aJO0zynIh6GBsTmh6cvw/s1269/cynthiaenglish.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="717" data-original-width="1269" height="181" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEio0hTIR5lbErxmhrYiqIYffGdSQIi4RXsfIa2njHU-ZrNCEv5fFag4azU3RszRx2AKKvNeHyipPyR-oPDr-srrUUrzUQOxmtLm-KrKKhaRH6mWdj0Ca8m0JuefXr7nFkuWCBnruNJT-AEtQSLBawRgQ41L--Zyh2SIzwVX64aJO0zynIh6GBsTmh6cvw/s320/cynthiaenglish.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">yeah, well you're dubbed voice sounds like Bullwinkle!</td></tr></tbody></table><br /><div><br /></div><div>Cynthia “Butch-cut” Rothrock shows up, she looks very cool but has a very strange dubbed voice. The chubby guy and his son played by Bin Bin dress alike and their hijinks wear thin very fast. </div><div><br /></div><div>There’s a brightly lit brawl in the park that’s almost quaint, I do appreciate the fight choreography which is top notch. I’m not sure however if this movie is based on an unreleased Intellivision game. Finally, we see the fake Chuck Norris (or is it Hans Gruber) from the poster art. I had hoped Chuck and Cynthia would hook up and make super karate babies but I was lied to! One character gets injected by faux Chuck. </div><div><br /></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikC6poNoFudjdoSKydaOXTewjDQ164H8-IF9RJuoojs_FwOwJEo17zH3XuLFTPmvryjh7h1FVPPGkbvimZu68uBLZxzeIaMe96FYA3LolexYUH3T2v-KrJVdfs1r4QtXnpfiRpuRicaoCitGtcTtOK6GwqWolOFDczGUj5HleCSpOLUze1Vk6j_Knhiw/s1280/unnamed.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="717" data-original-width="1280" height="179" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikC6poNoFudjdoSKydaOXTewjDQ164H8-IF9RJuoojs_FwOwJEo17zH3XuLFTPmvryjh7h1FVPPGkbvimZu68uBLZxzeIaMe96FYA3LolexYUH3T2v-KrJVdfs1r4QtXnpfiRpuRicaoCitGtcTtOK6GwqWolOFDczGUj5HleCSpOLUze1Vk6j_Knhiw/s320/unnamed.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Our mutant offspring will make even worse movies!</td></tr></tbody></table><br /><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>28 mins in we get the promised “crystal”, it appears in a suitcase and Pin pin finds it . So now this movie wants to get all Spiel-berg-ian on us, what the fuck man! Andy meets Winnie played by Sharla Cheung Man. I wonder if I’m supposed to watch this movie backwards. I have no idea where the story begins or ends, very weird. Lots of cool choreographed fighting however! Skunkape told me that George Lucas even stole from this film and used elements of it for <i>Indiana Jones and The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (2008)! </i></div><div><i><br /></i></div><div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4Rf5C_EoRx3dPgIAPyC2RJEoNJvzfpBK6vlRkg6YTs8HV2n_oCqQ6mF5N3w2ugLjqXQCN65Ga1nAOnUdYqi9TaTFPtND7Y2rYvuWWGTS443cjb3Y6cI0VsLjFyyn8rxcRgNV7PZOW5RXNwQNcNTSef9KM25ZVhbc3HrINH17ujB5g-1NxznWemB5q4w/s1279/esp%20jing.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="708" data-original-width="1279" height="177" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4Rf5C_EoRx3dPgIAPyC2RJEoNJvzfpBK6vlRkg6YTs8HV2n_oCqQ6mF5N3w2ugLjqXQCN65Ga1nAOnUdYqi9TaTFPtND7Y2rYvuWWGTS443cjb3Y6cI0VsLjFyyn8rxcRgNV7PZOW5RXNwQNcNTSef9KM25ZVhbc3HrINH17ujB5g-1NxznWemB5q4w/s320/esp%20jing.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">more Spielberg pandering</td></tr></tbody></table><br /><i><br /></i></div><div>Andy and his buddy dive off a balcony face first and slam into the ground without a scratch! This movie has no logic and wants ME to be all Stacy Keach as Sgt. Stedenko and “just go with it maan and not fight it”! Logic don’t exist anymore! The “magic crystal” by the way is a green glowing gelatinous blob that talks to Pin Pin. It’s stupid and reminded me of the glowing blob from Luigi Cozzi’s <i>Contamination (1980). </i></div><div><br /></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgFQHSJEb0lMKp1SfJRFkRPVRZBXfJejBB34D32NFEVGzss1RdtD1mm1DjcRha1FECX7AO8oqK0wfTBdfwwvosOL92eVlHdWWijnWG--XYQf8-gn7xLl5DpH7o2EQ-0k1iCtvPxRvjkb-Q1NGWkQU2IxcOY6Kan_2IDOcmk5GG_ieW9Uy4JmpGI_aukQ/s1280/talking%20egg.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="714" data-original-width="1280" height="179" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgFQHSJEb0lMKp1SfJRFkRPVRZBXfJejBB34D32NFEVGzss1RdtD1mm1DjcRha1FECX7AO8oqK0wfTBdfwwvosOL92eVlHdWWijnWG--XYQf8-gn7xLl5DpH7o2EQ-0k1iCtvPxRvjkb-Q1NGWkQU2IxcOY6Kan_2IDOcmk5GG_ieW9Uy4JmpGI_aukQ/s320/talking%20egg.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I'm really an Italian blob invented by Luigi Cozzi</td></tr></tbody></table><br /><div><br /></div><div>My fav scene so far is when the blob makes this peeper guy see Winnie rip her own face off <i>V-series (1984-85)</i> style. Pin Pin is the only likeable character I thought. I like the when he kicks that chubby bully from the beginning and the crystal grants him the power to do a “Liu Kang super kick”. </div><div><br /></div><div>The fake Chuck is starting to remind me of fake Hans Gruber and Andy even does a <i>Die Hard (1988)</i> rope trick down the side of a tall building. This film came out before so maybe it influenced the mega blockbuster hit. My least fav character played by Nat Chan Pak-Cheung gets hands for feet and vice versa from the magic crystal. He is awful and tries to rob a bank by waving his hands like a mental patient, they even put him in a straightjacket. This movie is starting to improve (or maybe it’s this strain of weed). One of the craziest fights occurs with a housewife played by Yu Miu-Lin who can wield a sword while balancing on your face. Her and “The Foreigner” battle it out in a living room setting. Cindy (Rothrock) fights “Hans Groobs” who now has giant Rob Halford arm spikes. The male stunt double in a wig is very noticeable in some moments. Then the kid Pin Pin gets abducted along with the jade blob. </div><div><br /></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizeVrbYiq4NF75bCiq50a2kuLO5_6sAPI9nEdwOgWxkXe11aRe5S3Pcg6qc0adzR74deFr3nScS11jqugJYxLCtRReIkiCP6-JuMD0eFJ34izLvukv3uRd-GUN7P4AJH2bjxM9D-apL1yimEqMnmFn8gwUhp1RpLl7yPdos6rZBPYDBChWw7ZkSJ1Pug/s1229/lady%20stand.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="697" data-original-width="1229" height="181" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizeVrbYiq4NF75bCiq50a2kuLO5_6sAPI9nEdwOgWxkXe11aRe5S3Pcg6qc0adzR74deFr3nScS11jqugJYxLCtRReIkiCP6-JuMD0eFJ34izLvukv3uRd-GUN7P4AJH2bjxM9D-apL1yimEqMnmFn8gwUhp1RpLl7yPdos6rZBPYDBChWw7ZkSJ1Pug/s320/lady%20stand.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">she kicks housework's sorry ass everytime</td></tr></tbody></table><br /><div><br /></div><div>Andy literally jumps out of a coma and into a jeep after being shot in the throat. Ok, movie you are on drugs! He has to punch the clock and get back to chewing up scenes with more fighting. The kid and the blob are able to use mind powers to fly to Greece for free. The bad part is for some strange reason (which won’t be revealed here) the rock’s powers don’t affect faux Hans and some Goonies traps and pitfalls ensue like a video game or a better Indiana Jones sequel. Groobs brings out some ninja turtle weapons and slings them around like he’s dividing a pizza 40 ways. The Jade blob hops on a space ship and flies away like Poochie at the end of that<i> Simpsons</i> episode. No really, I can’t say I wasted my time but I was very confused by what this movie wanted to be. 2 1/2 jade green blobs out of 5.
</div><div><br /></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAJn-GR_VC_Q1kX1D8bnZPjcwWqL0TOoMc8euqhIec13JC01Xx3bPS8WjvsduraoPZqn9psYVXNFJCLy2LyoCWkaQX-0QvBPzH52j-hTJhC-tg6U6Y1xK6uWu0sylS5aZs-Lvsud5lYGdq43Qoe1qpu8qY3YOfAv8iU5N0iiykSOJ07Cb2iFzZO__RPQ/s1277/peeled%20face.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="741" data-original-width="1277" height="186" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAJn-GR_VC_Q1kX1D8bnZPjcwWqL0TOoMc8euqhIec13JC01Xx3bPS8WjvsduraoPZqn9psYVXNFJCLy2LyoCWkaQX-0QvBPzH52j-hTJhC-tg6U6Y1xK6uWu0sylS5aZs-Lvsud5lYGdq43Qoe1qpu8qY3YOfAv8iU5N0iiykSOJ07Cb2iFzZO__RPQ/s320/peeled%20face.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Peel this</td></tr></tbody></table><br /><br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgR-afhreZoa5rciBj_WzeIGNylR6jKVuD97tY6AUrWXu3CVl9LbJaKl91ZYi21CTD_sCZ8mSttrGPwWk6EDLGeRYQOzpXp6Yjid1PBmxkHJ0gspJOp89vXuZcXqo665k6H5_l7Ysa5QA_LzrCeaT0ucK9hG_CGmKiqYVHS5MRYeGrzJ7JRsnoac7M3bQ/s1198/ping%20in%20a%20cage.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="702" data-original-width="1198" height="188" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgR-afhreZoa5rciBj_WzeIGNylR6jKVuD97tY6AUrWXu3CVl9LbJaKl91ZYi21CTD_sCZ8mSttrGPwWk6EDLGeRYQOzpXp6Yjid1PBmxkHJ0gspJOp89vXuZcXqo665k6H5_l7Ysa5QA_LzrCeaT0ucK9hG_CGmKiqYVHS5MRYeGrzJ7JRsnoac7M3bQ/s320/ping%20in%20a%20cage.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Ping Ping might be the next short round.</td></tr></tbody></table><br /><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div></div>Crankenstienhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09593719076720443439noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3851435459899615804.post-3327529921920296862023-04-05T00:50:00.002-07:002023-04-08T00:24:06.985-07:00Vicious! (aka To Make A Killing)<div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0mp3NeReWfh2kxxvVbPhbae66wPhtRi9sjxZp2RmGXvIQqwO3PvUpQ6NwzmtoUfGKUnTo_nAbn6_pmLipM0zNq-v8TtkXbWGI9MhqYWuwnXzmuey_p1AxgR_CThObeDSuhVfcEKd7BLr0AU4uBrLLmZYS4qf1DcOllKIdvj39Ebm7nPIKqd9cY2jsog/s1024/viciousvhs-643x1024.jpg" style="display: block; padding: 1em 0px; text-align: center;"><img alt="" border="0" data-original-height="1024" data-original-width="643" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0mp3NeReWfh2kxxvVbPhbae66wPhtRi9sjxZp2RmGXvIQqwO3PvUpQ6NwzmtoUfGKUnTo_nAbn6_pmLipM0zNq-v8TtkXbWGI9MhqYWuwnXzmuey_p1AxgR_CThObeDSuhVfcEKd7BLr0AU4uBrLLmZYS4qf1DcOllKIdvj39Ebm7nPIKqd9cY2jsog/s400/viciousvhs-643x1024.jpg" /></a></div>
<div><b><span style="font-size: small;">Vicious! (To Make A Killing) Directed by Karl Zwicky 1988. </span></b></div><div><br /></div><div>Here’s a fucked up Australian movie that melts the competition like a blowtorch to the crotch! </div><div>Damon, played by Tamblyn Lord is an adolescent teen pushing himself to conform to the world
of killers (in the college level and in his own suburb). Three drooling lunatics break into his
house while he’s trying to jerk off to a <i>Penthouse</i> mag hidden under his bed. These Ozzie blokes
maniacal behavior is foreshadowing to what’s in store later. The punks are Terry played by screenwriter Charles Pearce who went onto to fame with Baz Lurhman. Pearce co-wrote all of Lurhman’s films including the new <i>Elvis</i> biopic. Felix (played by John Godden) was in another ozploitation classic <i>Turkey Shoot (1982) </i>and finally Benny (Kelly Dingwall). All these “be a macho man” sort of bullshit obstacles repeatedly show up in Damon’s life whether they be to gut a fish or rob a house. </div><div><br /></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQRiOGiiXQGhr6TrpGob0n-fEDqOuHFCgnINTRuUGpADaLYe2jg-rfRNmeIRQOWxklAOG90m5LQKp1UQ6VzIu6BXAYrzLCnic9yNgxTOlc1J7-u3w1J5Bxpsb0TaOJ0OPKKwwlnKKJ0ukMk0zlXPzLi3frab-gAoee1oZS9l2vHUEE-4LaRtb7T2faBQ/s1274/damon%20pent.png" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="736" data-original-width="1274" height="185" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQRiOGiiXQGhr6TrpGob0n-fEDqOuHFCgnINTRuUGpADaLYe2jg-rfRNmeIRQOWxklAOG90m5LQKp1UQ6VzIu6BXAYrzLCnic9yNgxTOlc1J7-u3w1J5Bxpsb0TaOJ0OPKKwwlnKKJ0ukMk0zlXPzLi3frab-gAoee1oZS9l2vHUEE-4LaRtb7T2faBQ/s320/damon%20pent.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">don't interrupt me while I'm baitin'</td></tr></tbody></table><br /><div><br /></div><div>I discovered this movie recently by way of the More Gore Score” book by Chas Balun. </div><div><br /></div><div>The main thug and his buddy step on Damon’s neck and point a spear gun at his throat. He is constantly getting debased and humiliated by these three. They all wear matching flannels too for some reason, all degenerates do! </div><div><br /></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1gkoM2Ea8vSXfentdD1RW1CBL3VlQ1xfI_o7gVLolrWD6qAV7BupXeAfx-1BwZ7xrmSK_WrfV4muEyYYGpqfN1qJEq2lQBMGpeL49KhUZVYSaNtpouvKlxRHlZnHCsgXv7kxSty2plkPZEvArG-oQl1t-smOtagdmN4sQuPK6VCdIHfSiFYE32Q5OCA/s1109/punk%20flannel.png" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="733" data-original-width="1109" height="212" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1gkoM2Ea8vSXfentdD1RW1CBL3VlQ1xfI_o7gVLolrWD6qAV7BupXeAfx-1BwZ7xrmSK_WrfV4muEyYYGpqfN1qJEq2lQBMGpeL49KhUZVYSaNtpouvKlxRHlZnHCsgXv7kxSty2plkPZEvArG-oQl1t-smOtagdmN4sQuPK6VCdIHfSiFYE32Q5OCA/s320/punk%20flannel.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Cobain is my co-pilot</td></tr></tbody></table><br /><div><br /></div><div>Chas mentions how “the gang, led by a feral-eyed wastrel could teach David A. Hess a thing
or two about horror and humiliation”. I wouldn’t go that far but the main punk character is very sadistic. The boys pick up some girls who really don’t seem to wanna be there to begin with. They head out to a creek to drink Fosters and Vodka. One girl named Claire (Ajay Rochester) guffaws at their dick sizes, she basically wants to humiliate them as well, and it gets uncomfortable. </div><div><br /></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvo17oczLrSCkNX_Wixkd4tknCpodQsnJ5AY_DhH8KlIPg8APc8X8ojJPNyzWbJRVIQ_tjPGSsuxbJalQQUGbl-fZPO0cpkVtjvgPrmOYkkHaE8k3S2wHnN05L49IBkbHxn9dLZTlBBxSttivLAOmop43GIkrBo_o--AvMqoQI5J_teWgT_lHFXbaHiw/s1044/vicious%20ladies.png" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="800" data-original-width="1044" height="245" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvo17oczLrSCkNX_Wixkd4tknCpodQsnJ5AY_DhH8KlIPg8APc8X8ojJPNyzWbJRVIQ_tjPGSsuxbJalQQUGbl-fZPO0cpkVtjvgPrmOYkkHaE8k3S2wHnN05L49IBkbHxn9dLZTlBBxSttivLAOmop43GIkrBo_o--AvMqoQI5J_teWgT_lHFXbaHiw/s320/vicious%20ladies.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">PU! did someone open the wrong lunchbox or what?</td></tr></tbody></table><br /><div>Half of this movie is a pissing contest, which leads to Sondra almost falling off a speeding car while riding the hood. Tiffiny Dowe was very good as Sondra but she stopped acting unfortunately. </div><div><br /></div><div>This movie is sort of an Ozzie take on LHOTL. It’s so vile how Claire who is Sondra’s ride, makes her wait while she bones the guys that almost splattered her “friend’s” brains on the pavement of the parking lot.
Sondra, the only seemingly decent girl in this movie, she begins a short-lived relationship with Damon. They both share a distain for their suburban privilege. </div><div><br /></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgCmKy04Y0-AUhc10bhP6wTJBNW68IagTPwM_quqi5pVheAjej4AUWo2jUcT-q5iMb2IQj5w3jBmVKykVlKMSVCMq9ArumCMUg4xL8X20tVaLW-IKX4lHnaWmiZ1VoWnACRhzLSKXkudzHaSUY-9hEXXi_WlRm-Wd9Cve-KxwNvr80yi5Vs92T9pF2Bg/s1065/damon%20beach.png" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="800" data-original-width="1065" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgCmKy04Y0-AUhc10bhP6wTJBNW68IagTPwM_quqi5pVheAjej4AUWo2jUcT-q5iMb2IQj5w3jBmVKykVlKMSVCMq9ArumCMUg4xL8X20tVaLW-IKX4lHnaWmiZ1VoWnACRhzLSKXkudzHaSUY-9hEXXi_WlRm-Wd9Cve-KxwNvr80yi5Vs92T9pF2Bg/s320/damon%20beach.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Eat your hearts out Corey Haim or Feldman</td></tr></tbody></table><br /><div>The asshole punks from the beginning return and abduct the naive Damon. First, they force a stick poke tattoo on his arm with a $ symbol during a bumpy car ride. He goes to Sondra’s parent’s house for help but they don’t believe him. It gets gnarly and Felix almost strangles Damon to death. Sandra’s family gets involved and shit fits the preverbal fan. Everyone is screaming and threatening as the whole Price family is held hostage. These punks are so dumb! After mum serves them drinks, her small bit of generosity sets the main punk off and they blast away at both parents. One Einstein (as in the “Yahoo Serious” kind) plugs the Dad (played by John Clayton) with a spear after his buddies are done with the massacre. </div><div><br /></div><div>The last 40 mins of this movie had my blood boiling as they ramp up the humiliation. This one fits in the rape/ revenge sub genre but the carnal sin is never actually done.
Somehow that makes it much worse.</div><div><br /></div><div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9BiSuFyTR3dFqTPzUIJ6sBAintNc9Ho7dkkdsWnzJK7_sfdzV_VKRSEADkq5PVkRxAzat1e3FetjoAeTPeEpeSFMjQ7tgRQzddswj3S3L3RGsHlrezOqkUwdbxbJLhT6kPuFzoN5AyVjdXCDO4SiwiaudJQuUj1sSNy7z6Ff37dsZjRPHLXAZYrpiVw/s1049/vicious%20hostage.png" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="800" data-original-width="1049" height="244" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9BiSuFyTR3dFqTPzUIJ6sBAintNc9Ho7dkkdsWnzJK7_sfdzV_VKRSEADkq5PVkRxAzat1e3FetjoAeTPeEpeSFMjQ7tgRQzddswj3S3L3RGsHlrezOqkUwdbxbJLhT6kPuFzoN5AyVjdXCDO4SiwiaudJQuUj1sSNy7z6Ff37dsZjRPHLXAZYrpiVw/s320/vicious%20hostage.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">We're all about to die and my Dad's feet really smell!</td></tr></tbody></table><br /> Remind me never to visit the Outback (or Outback Steakhouse)!
I’ve never heard anyone mention this film but it’s very effective and more people (for those who can handle the brutality) should watch it. It’s a multileveled cautionary tale. </div><div><br /></div><div>When I think back, the most insane thing about it was that Damon has no choice. The
punks just show up, involve him and never give him a break, he’s forced to gnaw his way out like a dingo on angel dust! He’s haunted by the murders for months and his parents don’t
understand his mental condition or how to help! </div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixA33jSrPo58z_lX-GedIIt3Ta93Y47NaU1YSqKKeFgJxck1faYb_u8pwFW6LtN3h_aJJO5Hex1796YWZVPCGWpB9g2av45avUPn2yCtz_CAy43ucMODI87DG64vk1BdSBo0o6GxNiggdrPHM_zjX9nvjChph34ify7EfO3BAizPhD4ahxpHx73AoBog/s1153/punk%20neck.png" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="733" data-original-width="1153" height="203" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixA33jSrPo58z_lX-GedIIt3Ta93Y47NaU1YSqKKeFgJxck1faYb_u8pwFW6LtN3h_aJJO5Hex1796YWZVPCGWpB9g2av45avUPn2yCtz_CAy43ucMODI87DG64vk1BdSBo0o6GxNiggdrPHM_zjX9nvjChph34ify7EfO3BAizPhD4ahxpHx73AoBog/s320/punk%20neck.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">plays the Quint vs Hooper scar game a little too well.</td></tr></tbody></table><br /><div>The ending is very unexpected and terrifying,
worst of all Damon uses the experience for his college resume! I mean did he just use this trauma as a leg up into the savvy cut throat business world, seems that way to me.
You can watch the entire film on archive.org <a href="https://archive.org/details/vicious-1988">https://archive.org/details/vicious-1988</a></div><div><br /></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKJWJG6AHxL4ulZmy6Xlq88fVT2rgF3Zt83hW5648ZkyReBBePx3NOAWrgLhihK58sku9BsXezpIa_NPvrPuDCoA_wuTfBb4MuInJeejsMLpLwAB9vaRbbDUXUvkBGqKmlpFNN3AX1rj-Ja_jUY5FIIradbdEWzx45N5XYBvdeocYvhtGkfLsR8QTOiA/s1181/Screen%20Shot%202023-03-28%20at%202.41.59%20PM.png" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="798" data-original-width="1181" height="216" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKJWJG6AHxL4ulZmy6Xlq88fVT2rgF3Zt83hW5648ZkyReBBePx3NOAWrgLhihK58sku9BsXezpIa_NPvrPuDCoA_wuTfBb4MuInJeejsMLpLwAB9vaRbbDUXUvkBGqKmlpFNN3AX1rj-Ja_jUY5FIIradbdEWzx45N5XYBvdeocYvhtGkfLsR8QTOiA/s320/Screen%20Shot%202023-03-28%20at%202.41.59%20PM.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Did you piss in my coffee, well played.</td></tr></tbody></table><br /><div><br /></div>Crankenstienhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09593719076720443439noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3851435459899615804.post-30956931121273427332023-03-28T00:41:00.000-07:002023-03-28T00:41:07.667-07:00Vampire Hunter D<div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZfuUiWOk6k8ixskGq97_ORzs6r5rOXxSSdMOJKC7yHq210P4eRojxT-CCKDgwnwdDwAfxyc1Ho8qqS_4NiW29HQQJ9zaXDlkBO6n_TRhAIYtusb72RO9kkhXYTyZrwDRKraCuixzZjVlLWNX6_WD9nVNOjr0ctkGCAT-d8SPGiZu6cHkROnKPk9Hg3w/s474/Screen%20Shot%202023-03-19%20at%202.47.51%20PM.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="474" data-original-width="330" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZfuUiWOk6k8ixskGq97_ORzs6r5rOXxSSdMOJKC7yHq210P4eRojxT-CCKDgwnwdDwAfxyc1Ho8qqS_4NiW29HQQJ9zaXDlkBO6n_TRhAIYtusb72RO9kkhXYTyZrwDRKraCuixzZjVlLWNX6_WD9nVNOjr0ctkGCAT-d8SPGiZu6cHkROnKPk9Hg3w/w279-h400/Screen%20Shot%202023-03-19%20at%202.47.51%20PM.png" width="279" /></a></div><br /></div><b>Vampire Hunter D. Directed by Toyoo Ashida (1985).</b><div><br /></div><div>
Yoshitaka Amano illustrated the novels since 1983 also worked on some of my absolute favorites like <i>Gatchaman (Kagaku ninja tai Gatchaman,</i> <i>1972-74)</i> and <i>Speed Racer (1966).</i> The setting of VHD is a nuclear wasteland and the creatures, demons and nobility vamps are all that's left after the atomic holocaust. <i>Vampire Hunter D</i> (which stands for Damphir)’s left hand is another character in the mythos and there are 53 books in the series. </div><div><br /></div><div>This is one of those Animes that every kind of mouth breathing geek tries to shame you into watching by saying “Why haven’t you seen it”? The main reason I’ve avoided this one is that I think most big-eyed cartoons from Japan are interchangeable but let me tell you folks, this is one of the more impressive ones! It’s very brief too and packs a lot in, but it’s no <i>Akira (1988)</i>. It’s more like a vampiric <i>Fist of the North Star (Kagaku ninja tai Gatchaman</i>. 1984). I did have a short Anime phase, but honestly, I prefer shit like <i>Kamen Rider (1971)</i> or <i>Johnny Sokko (Jaianto robo. 1967-68) </i>to this. </div><div><br /></div><div>The setting is a futuristic wasteland with dinosaurs, one gets his face blown off by Doris Lang (voiced by Michie Tomizawa). Doris is a laser whip totting big-eyed cutie in an obscenely short shirt (what else). </div><div><br /></div><div>Vampire Hunter D has intense eyes (that are painted black) and long flowing hair with a floppy hat. It’s unusual to see Japanese kids wear Christian crosses but you know protection again the unholy immortal. Dan and Doris are the main siblings who tag along w VHD. </div><div><br /></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhaaP-OMsPEi-O_vAEIfTk5jbC6XTvvq3QQM7ntSA2W1TCyKuwwFEhRdrxLGlqpqZPyKb5D36jHovlgNMpshUDPd32ve73tCwFK2ljZC-OxhBVeyblwHEvEcZSbDdqRGwTV8KaNT2IvzcTOVnu2JUUIJA1Ajk12GGZZUftoR-1O0QqqNG0nAOUVC9q8Xw/s1009/vhd%20black%20eyes.png" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="756" data-original-width="1009" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhaaP-OMsPEi-O_vAEIfTk5jbC6XTvvq3QQM7ntSA2W1TCyKuwwFEhRdrxLGlqpqZPyKb5D36jHovlgNMpshUDPd32ve73tCwFK2ljZC-OxhBVeyblwHEvEcZSbDdqRGwTV8KaNT2IvzcTOVnu2JUUIJA1Ajk12GGZZUftoR-1O0QqqNG0nAOUVC9q8Xw/s320/vhd%20black%20eyes.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">No Stakes or Steak-um jokes Crank!</td></tr></tbody></table><br /><div><br /></div><div>There’s a camp for those bitten by the Count. VHD gives Dan some hurtful advice about suppressing his emotions around his sister who may end up quarantined. She has worse problems however we later find that Count Lee plans to make her his undead bride.
The animation is super inventive and gory. </div><div><br /></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjSCdxTeW4ZPO7_wpQMrNF9WxWf0cyPVMECg6zXPwadOy2mCVAI0ZtmijEbFC9wTpSZqgyZT_9agEH4xAom5f6_L0IMK-65V2rkz-HC4ejlq6KXd0rLV0OEvgk8ZMwrvHrvWL6O3clSM7IGkb0uz7b6pKHMjfo14ILLdApUpNHJnE4j4a3FW6kXEtB1sA/s1040/wolfbite.png" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="734" data-original-width="1040" height="226" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjSCdxTeW4ZPO7_wpQMrNF9WxWf0cyPVMECg6zXPwadOy2mCVAI0ZtmijEbFC9wTpSZqgyZT_9agEH4xAom5f6_L0IMK-65V2rkz-HC4ejlq6KXd0rLV0OEvgk8ZMwrvHrvWL6O3clSM7IGkb0uz7b6pKHMjfo14ILLdApUpNHJnE4j4a3FW6kXEtB1sA/s320/wolfbite.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Bloody wolf bite!</td></tr></tbody></table><br /><div><br /></div><div>Some Billy Idol looking creep named Rei Ginsei stabs VHD but it has no effect on him. When they go to battle there’s a web of action lines surrounding the characters.
The version I had was in English and I find it hard to focus on the action while reading.I think the original language is the best the way to go for authenticity. In this case where you’re dealing with frenetic action and lush animated backdrops, it's hard for me to read and see all that's happening. The big cowboy hat with duster look VHD has reminds me of the band Fields of Nephilim or Richard Stanley. </div><div><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhP_X34lUWcqoPzPxkFU3ilUDO5_IB9XdiYoSU13T6pzZJIQ0T3fxPNtCSA4vYDPHX9NzxNDA-ub59IXrado66ZtHNVi4TRBXkaQSHZiZDeKTcJH-ZzKBw6VijOvwNFEm8P-KycvGFSMD1j83GezN-0lKyUay1gPTj0BWLUPUz0ugy_jVVoCDNbk3Z3gw/s532/Screen%20Shot%202023-03-19%20at%203.39.11%20PM.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="532" data-original-width="497" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhP_X34lUWcqoPzPxkFU3ilUDO5_IB9XdiYoSU13T6pzZJIQ0T3fxPNtCSA4vYDPHX9NzxNDA-ub59IXrado66ZtHNVi4TRBXkaQSHZiZDeKTcJH-ZzKBw6VijOvwNFEm8P-KycvGFSMD1j83GezN-0lKyUay1gPTj0BWLUPUz0ugy_jVVoCDNbk3Z3gw/s320/Screen%20Shot%202023-03-19%20at%203.39.11%20PM.png" width="299" /></a></div><br /><div><br /></div><div>Once we get to the castle there are so many beasties and ghouls lurking. Biting ghost beasts also. There are a couple of film sequels and many books, so I reckon there’s monster manual that catalogs each goblin. </div><div><br /></div><div>After I saw Akira I went through a brief phase with anime. I used to rent them from "Videowaves", a store I later would exclusively rent porn at—that’s right I went beyond the saloon doors. I liked the rape tentacle one (<i>Chôjin densetsu Urotsukidôji. 1989</i>) and <i>Golgo 13 (1983)</i> but most were forgettable and I think that kept me away from this subgenre. That’s probably why I avoided this one for so long. I’m willing to check more out, the older I get the more I try to open my mind. </div><div><br /></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXf5Z9bj9qHQ7EDVkCvrhckKeEor1EZfJRO6UyJj72C9VV0n5ivqShG4k4aVCiwt1tRSuYz2sMxdJSprq91s6KNJJdg5yieKA_-SmTbtsYUm8jEr2xZoKP1hSSmfjvIpmPGFnqktG5m61UuWwg61HlNyxJZifm9V72gApnmXngCjFP6hVLjgSBNITvGw/s1032/BEASTIES.png" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="798" data-original-width="1032" height="247" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXf5Z9bj9qHQ7EDVkCvrhckKeEor1EZfJRO6UyJj72C9VV0n5ivqShG4k4aVCiwt1tRSuYz2sMxdJSprq91s6KNJJdg5yieKA_-SmTbtsYUm8jEr2xZoKP1hSSmfjvIpmPGFnqktG5m61UuWwg61HlNyxJZifm9V72gApnmXngCjFP6hVLjgSBNITvGw/s320/BEASTIES.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Biting beasties</td></tr></tbody></table><br /><div><br /></div><div>There’s a really cool scene with 3 snake sisters who drain VHD and subdue him. Not for long though as he bites his way out and they melt into a puddle of blood! </div><div><br /></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjeQ-WaMTPjitXr0w_vivw3aSBqbQdl1A3fk_WXkWVlNAZW6cAyS5QKmXuUzOtnMyh9gXicnhwPutpiYGTFGQ3CpX9PctibfwXX6bMGv_MxXZ1jcawNcpDq3G66_21V-MXO2ho17VhUhtyAj6l1q3MkUbQ_FYVhiGSBF9i8hmKnLLKybHKKtlgrZuHpvg/s1141/3%20sisters.png" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="777" data-original-width="1141" height="218" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjeQ-WaMTPjitXr0w_vivw3aSBqbQdl1A3fk_WXkWVlNAZW6cAyS5QKmXuUzOtnMyh9gXicnhwPutpiYGTFGQ3CpX9PctibfwXX6bMGv_MxXZ1jcawNcpDq3G66_21V-MXO2ho17VhUhtyAj6l1q3MkUbQ_FYVhiGSBF9i8hmKnLLKybHKKtlgrZuHpvg/s320/3%20sisters.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Joanna Newsom sucks</td></tr></tbody></table><br /><div><br /></div><div>I forgot to mention VHD has a face on his hand (this voice performed by Ichiro Nagai totally grinds on his nerves). At least it’s helpful though and slices up a horde of ginormous monsters plus a golem like figure. Nagai has been working as a voice actor since 1960 and was in <i>Wicked City (1987), Crying Freeman (1988-1994)</i> and tons of others. </div><div><br /></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAJkiq6rw1YAK321QaWyqvv4EP_gcFTJPYVowXEpnNz9od3N_mlepmNlBuenarMXvMThU7lZ9DF8GWEcWhRVmOnjYgGsv7B8VgmCHUb84WIFfk1ANpsHaDhw0HEMXaCb0XunfEVdtEEzEdRJoDhACIXefWIftDQ8BTKHaiJMbUFHt0gnuopszp-8CZBw/s1022/vhdhand.png" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="780" data-original-width="1022" height="244" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAJkiq6rw1YAK321QaWyqvv4EP_gcFTJPYVowXEpnNz9od3N_mlepmNlBuenarMXvMThU7lZ9DF8GWEcWhRVmOnjYgGsv7B8VgmCHUb84WIFfk1ANpsHaDhw0HEMXaCb0XunfEVdtEEzEdRJoDhACIXefWIftDQ8BTKHaiJMbUFHt0gnuopszp-8CZBw/s320/vhdhand.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Chili cheese Frito breathe!!</td></tr></tbody></table><br /><div><br /></div><div>Down at a local hotel, a bunch of sordid jealous characters of “The Hunter” try to trick him. They bait him by using Dan. </div><div><br /></div><div>Billy Idol ends up w a chopped off appendage and can’t stop bitching about it. </div><div><br /></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_Sf1xGUIYUqnnXC_umtxKGbaoaXjmihHPTkHe2HdgJT4kYUbNali4_seTkdLm_oCm9W0P7gcUp5UXgCQxHx9cPSg9ppdLA7fmEwgpAzylqIky6zeLej6JH6X8op6fPowVuiXUKZvAjfzQf3FS0ql1aSz8k9cBV1spjcNIQOKxpMAuc6MEjShTgyfGCQ/s1005/billy%20idol.png" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="778" data-original-width="1005" height="248" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_Sf1xGUIYUqnnXC_umtxKGbaoaXjmihHPTkHe2HdgJT4kYUbNali4_seTkdLm_oCm9W0P7gcUp5UXgCQxHx9cPSg9ppdLA7fmEwgpAzylqIky6zeLej6JH6X8op6fPowVuiXUKZvAjfzQf3FS0ql1aSz8k9cBV1spjcNIQOKxpMAuc6MEjShTgyfGCQ/s320/billy%20idol.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Ahem, I'm dancing with myself if you know whatta mean.</td></tr></tbody></table><br /><div><br /></div><div>Doris constantly threatens suicide at almost any opportunity. She says I’ll just bite my tongue off and kill myself”! She might need mental help. The world she lives in pretty much sucks! Good thing she doesn’t commit the sin because VHD bails out both her and Dan again. Keiko Toda performs the voice of the male child in the tradition of <i>Charlie Brown</i>. Or like how Bart Simpson is voiced by Nancy Cartwright. </div><div><br /></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSwQvkpfONJ5J7EC_r8LhiSwkdn6jBxzTksRIP3vBcpCbGZdsokSHRlzwH1BjYBvsCsr5jsrgHjkXNspn3zvCXW8muVMI9yR_h2qTUCih6CZu972fhnzLJ8Aq-D99GRpPxtRYZ8j2cYCZGSdJZ6JtUMxR6IRoUzR36pczqry-P5ZXqqDkYL-WDrX43SQ/s1006/sexy%20doris.png" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="764" data-original-width="1006" height="243" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSwQvkpfONJ5J7EC_r8LhiSwkdn6jBxzTksRIP3vBcpCbGZdsokSHRlzwH1BjYBvsCsr5jsrgHjkXNspn3zvCXW8muVMI9yR_h2qTUCih6CZu972fhnzLJ8Aq-D99GRpPxtRYZ8j2cYCZGSdJZ6JtUMxR6IRoUzR36pczqry-P5ZXqqDkYL-WDrX43SQ/s320/sexy%20doris.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I'll just bite my boobs off and kill myself.</td></tr></tbody></table><br /><div><br /></div><div>VHD gets tempted by Doris’ sexy shower scene and almost bites her neck. I keep forgetting he is also a nocturnal being. There are lots of franchises connected to this series so I’m betting their relationship will bloom in those. There are 3 films and a series, not to mention all the books, breakfast cereal, fidget spinner and butt plug! </div><div><br /></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjeUji9cpZVbbQtf8quBCoMRheMPCOmA5rsWBA9Exs0_ithgF0Z_FI9NAiq2TgmFfiyxCfXRzhtSATsp6qSMF7AR3aKGpIDQN1Sl004-mx-zVhqE8Iz3nOD_SIWPvBbi7nLaCjAX0Ui-lVvNKOgMGWSarJqIeAyrs3z4cVLf68-KvehxdyoFBIwr8mOjA/s996/vhdstabby.png" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="757" data-original-width="996" height="243" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjeUji9cpZVbbQtf8quBCoMRheMPCOmA5rsWBA9Exs0_ithgF0Z_FI9NAiq2TgmFfiyxCfXRzhtSATsp6qSMF7AR3aKGpIDQN1Sl004-mx-zVhqE8Iz3nOD_SIWPvBbi7nLaCjAX0Ui-lVvNKOgMGWSarJqIeAyrs3z4cVLf68-KvehxdyoFBIwr8mOjA/s320/vhdstabby.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">merchandising merchandising.</td></tr></tbody></table><div><br /></div><div>The Big Daddy vamp character is based on Christopher Lee/Hammer Films rendition of Drac, he rips the hell out of Rei Ginsei, the character who resembles Billy Idol.
The beginning of this saga all ends with a triumphant stabbing battle as the black fortress sinks beneath the earth.
Some reviewers like this one even more than<i> Akira</i>, which I don’t understand. I did however read up on his folklore and sadly I never read any of the <b>Katsuhiro Otomo</b> comics. </div><div><br /></div><div><b>I give it 2 Richard Stanley Duster Hat combos out of 5.</b></div><div><b><br /></b></div><div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgks_k8ZkQpNBoP0g0yxROFBIQGoL6BGVJ2emmR6B6mnOy7YUnneUjRNmMKsrCNwYCtkAOsWy08t7nTUjkbZfrEcEGThYlz-NiEdOYaLcX6W5KTZl8_8cqglqT0Cw8I0rozB4e_rQR_GoEyOugxOlRKoiU0dKmuo2ugjyU-ZaiMMWmCt2exPo8p7-pATw/s1036/vampeye.png" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="764" data-original-width="1036" height="236" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgks_k8ZkQpNBoP0g0yxROFBIQGoL6BGVJ2emmR6B6mnOy7YUnneUjRNmMKsrCNwYCtkAOsWy08t7nTUjkbZfrEcEGThYlz-NiEdOYaLcX6W5KTZl8_8cqglqT0Cw8I0rozB4e_rQR_GoEyOugxOlRKoiU0dKmuo2ugjyU-ZaiMMWmCt2exPo8p7-pATw/s320/vampeye.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">ouch that smarts!</td></tr></tbody></table><br /><b><br /></b></div><div><b><br /></b></div>Crankenstienhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09593719076720443439noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3851435459899615804.post-2820228042993465992023-03-24T23:54:00.000-07:002023-04-04T00:50:14.255-07:00Black Candles<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><img alt="" border="0" data-original-height="542" data-original-width="365" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiaNCh0ioM7AYu-kjcvuaF7ghsYymhZ_QduNeOrccAyErsuW-klktlk0yfkyv897cQYJCLGyH2OB1F7GiS9KJ7KaEDz7DxJyotnOUSgCu0Iw7N0u2ckmBrunMV4F0Uv82fA-mzFUobpZvWZdGd8dfDrPzrKJr6qqxuyUPO3qiq-_4vLJreS34rlR7iF2g/s400/blackcandposter.png" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" /></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"></td></tr></tbody></table><p><b>Black Candles (Hot Fantasies, Sexual Rites of The Devil) (1981).</b> <b>Directed by Joseph Braunstein/ Jose Larraz </b></p><div><br /></div><div>
After I saw <i>Vampyres (1974)</i> I knew I had to watch more from this Spanish maestro. It starts off with some graphic sex between a Matt Frewer clone and a lusty babe who uses an unseen voodoo doll pin push to murder him for betraying the coven. His sister Carol (Vanessa Hidalgo) and her untrustworthy partner Pablo (Jeffrey Healey) are on their way to visit his grave. Man, they sure buried him fast! </div><div><br /></div><div>
Next, it’s a dark and rainy night where we see the titular objects—"black candles". Do only sorcerers have these items, probably. You could also pick those up at most Spencer’s Gifts. We see some ghastly occult art on the walls. One picture of the devil on the toilet is a masterpiece that an old roommate of mine used to have a black velvet painting of this. </div><div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpau-BtTVYfzq3tVJptwd2pDQH2AlBkQQFcnKozZZc0fk8YDee912vopaC1avCKsy2JyDon_TF_YeFdgWBpFRbbhmqRnqdTy2bQCMOt0_CUj87x7bLOhPyqfoMi0smExR-Dqpn8buj7ki6I6F_xKC7cpuRBYq13UHZ5WBJYelr1n3MP-DbRqL4KisTZw/s900/unnamed.jpg" style="display: block; padding: 1em 0px; text-align: center;"><img alt="" border="0" data-original-height="900" data-original-width="674" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpau-BtTVYfzq3tVJptwd2pDQH2AlBkQQFcnKozZZc0fk8YDee912vopaC1avCKsy2JyDon_TF_YeFdgWBpFRbbhmqRnqdTy2bQCMOt0_CUj87x7bLOhPyqfoMi0smExR-Dqpn8buj7ki6I6F_xKC7cpuRBYq13UHZ5WBJYelr1n3MP-DbRqL4KisTZw/s320/unnamed.jpg" /></a></div>
Carol and Pablo suspect Fiona the sister in law is a voyeuristic witch as we see her stare at them Anthony Perkins peep hole style. Vanessa Hildalgo’s character fucks with her boots on and has giant titties, her incessant moaning causes Fiona played by Helga Line’ to furiously masturbate. This is one horny Eurotrash flick! In a nightmare scenario Carol gets humped in various locations as the witch participates briefly. The Reverend played by Manuel Gomez-Alvarez and Fiona are the ones responsible for the death of Carol’s brother Drew (Anastasio de la Fuente). They visit his grave and her brothers voice warns her to leave now. A witch from the coven and her greazy grumpy husband are concerned about being lynched for their religious practice of Satanism. They’re more coven members, these people are all around us, we’re surrounded! </div><div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDoNomcoJdLMF0Q5IRb9GB63N8o285b52CXbsXpF8AF896hzTrcGJXumuDTasy9j3N4WEwPLIL08zZY41imWEPgy0dPgXKvfyyJ__CwCYvmUrfhYWTwEmLBbg-e8_rr56L5uWPvAyj64ok2rfs8gB2pdTa2vPyoHQ_QFmCj94XICHUGll0rD3o5r0HDA/s513/fiona%20peep.png" style="display: block; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; padding: 1em 0px; text-align: center;"><img alt="" border="0" data-original-height="359" data-original-width="513" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDoNomcoJdLMF0Q5IRb9GB63N8o285b52CXbsXpF8AF896hzTrcGJXumuDTasy9j3N4WEwPLIL08zZY41imWEPgy0dPgXKvfyyJ__CwCYvmUrfhYWTwEmLBbg-e8_rr56L5uWPvAyj64ok2rfs8gB2pdTa2vPyoHQ_QFmCj94XICHUGll0rD3o5r0HDA/s320/fiona%20peep.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">She's totally watching you jerk off<br /><br /></td></tr></tbody></table>
One witch, mentions how bestiality is on the menu for this evening’s black magic ceremony. Wait, is Joe D’Amato ghost directing this---"what’s happening?” On Imdb it says the director disowned the film (was it this scene that motivated him). Own it man, you’re the one who gave birth to this atrocity you’re responsible. </div><div><br /></div><div>According to “The Satanic Screen” by Nikolas Schreck Franco’s death unleashed a wave of reaction to this conservative acestetic. They were deliberately crushing taboos much like directors Nagisa Ōshima and Dušan Makavejev did as a reaction to their own country’s censorship laws with their overly perverse masterpieces <i>In the Realm Of The Senses (1976) </i>and<i> The Sweet Movie (1974).</i>
The hippy dippy gal from the beginning gets boned by the goat as the Rev. eerily calls out to her in an inhuman voice tone. Man is this unsettling! In a Gorezone (017/Spring) interview Larraz said this about the goat scene “The shock when I showed this was terrible, I mean the goat has the right to enjoy itself too”! </div><div><br /></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixnk2bLHkNjag4NcC6pRWU9MjC63bJpwq-cgvy339UZQ4Cd-N8osjN2_egkg57eK_kMpOH7sfVOr6pxDQSBn4EX47zzFawF8ZLvKxS-bUrAKXyjNGV_hi0V5aj6vS0b4a0YrBCC8BH0NfnckzqMiUJhqqwQHwPCjRadMj0lHK35Mua8fPf6NQZdxHKcg/s519/goat%20lady.png" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="359" data-original-width="519" height="221" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixnk2bLHkNjag4NcC6pRWU9MjC63bJpwq-cgvy339UZQ4Cd-N8osjN2_egkg57eK_kMpOH7sfVOr6pxDQSBn4EX47zzFawF8ZLvKxS-bUrAKXyjNGV_hi0V5aj6vS0b4a0YrBCC8BH0NfnckzqMiUJhqqwQHwPCjRadMj0lHK35Mua8fPf6NQZdxHKcg/s320/goat%20lady.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">the safety word is "Mutton"</td></tr></tbody></table><br /><div><br /></div><div>But with this move, they now have control of his brain and give her severe migraines from afar. Fiona (who has a gigantic 70’s bush) humps Carol’s boyfriend Robert/Pablo by the fire. She keeps spying on both of them. They should definitely not stay there, this is the worst Airbnb experience I can think of. There are a few nods to <i>Rosemary’s Baby (1968)</i> here. I wonder why the big conspiracy against one insignificant girl like Carol or her brother however. The coven all conspire to kill both of them eventually. I forget to mention the Rev has one long ass Cocaine nail. Carol calls it an evil bird of prey. </div><div><br /></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-8i1on03KqBRJR4pa6nR93m0ZK69QBXTWVGbu7r9E3WI7DyBMW-ZOnbB9BcqTyF72InDCiwoev7xMPKYZIqxDQYbD7JLSk-Mb_U0SPUHME-h9uGL9G0HoQsuoe6aJadaAFbiLzaier3uMZ6N5U6gVCI-Jivsfw4iAVqYwSDs0sBu0ZxG8wUUN3fY2Mg/s844/carol%20cheeks.png" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="538" data-original-width="844" height="204" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-8i1on03KqBRJR4pa6nR93m0ZK69QBXTWVGbu7r9E3WI7DyBMW-ZOnbB9BcqTyF72InDCiwoev7xMPKYZIqxDQYbD7JLSk-Mb_U0SPUHME-h9uGL9G0HoQsuoe6aJadaAFbiLzaier3uMZ6N5U6gVCI-Jivsfw4iAVqYwSDs0sBu0ZxG8wUUN3fY2Mg/s320/carol%20cheeks.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">stop being so cheeky Carol!</td></tr></tbody></table><br /><div>There’re so many repulsive and yet titillating sex scenes. Maybe the humping was just too good to pass up because Carol’s man Robert/Pablo joins up with the cult willingly. Carol by the way has an amazing body and is no prude, so what’s the deal? I like how she always wears her long-legged boots even at night. The amount of sex in this movie is pretty obnoxious, although if I were a 12-yr. old watching this on Skin-a-Max I’d feel like I won a prize. One of the first Eurotrash movies I’d seen was <i>The loves of a French Pussycat (1972)</i> with Sybil Danning. <b>I give this 4 out of 5 blood drenched merkins, it’s Satanically majestic!</b></div><div><br /></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDV1xuCpy0xEwp5PHealt7vWc5zsvaIGTUnFYQR7A6RKJyrrauEqgmDP0q0ljT4JQdF9ed79k53lHZ-80NogUJ8lrL09EC5e2B-kWGGiZ_ZR2Rr4L95U_vCQr-Zl0Dt2muKUwhjdvUbencPd6Ll-8ousAaG3azD5ThyCUySIcEDgkt6kdh7zZykS_ngA/s507/HOT%20FANT.png" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="386" data-original-width="507" height="244" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDV1xuCpy0xEwp5PHealt7vWc5zsvaIGTUnFYQR7A6RKJyrrauEqgmDP0q0ljT4JQdF9ed79k53lHZ-80NogUJ8lrL09EC5e2B-kWGGiZ_ZR2Rr4L95U_vCQr-Zl0Dt2muKUwhjdvUbencPd6Ll-8ousAaG3azD5ThyCUySIcEDgkt6kdh7zZykS_ngA/s320/HOT%20FANT.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Both posters for this film are astounding!</td></tr></tbody></table><br /><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div>Crankenstienhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09593719076720443439noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3851435459899615804.post-13989263189612976742023-03-14T17:57:00.000-07:002023-03-22T00:38:46.710-07:00Murder Clinic (1966)<p> <br /><br /></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOmkWCFtHb-8bpYzGl5M9VN7V7Ts_4PQSSkmTchC-c_eDoAFuNp4WD2RX7Y6BzwwsuHgJSMt9WJUkfBsruczcX_AkBGp_ysmrl8ORmJUi_UMcOqFdGcC9Rq1DZQ_gk4JaVBoDw3pSHmf1KdNbqNpZ9qimW2-sJt_Np379ySBKqw-LGjWt8I9WakrW3Rw/s600/lf.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="600" data-original-width="398" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOmkWCFtHb-8bpYzGl5M9VN7V7Ts_4PQSSkmTchC-c_eDoAFuNp4WD2RX7Y6BzwwsuHgJSMt9WJUkfBsruczcX_AkBGp_ysmrl8ORmJUi_UMcOqFdGcC9Rq1DZQ_gk4JaVBoDw3pSHmf1KdNbqNpZ9qimW2-sJt_Np379ySBKqw-LGjWt8I9WakrW3Rw/w265-h400/lf.jpg" width="265" /></a></div><br /><b>
Murder Clinic Dir by Elio Scardamaglia/ Lionello De Felice
(1966).</b> <div><br /><div>This film is a part of the infamous triple bill “Orgy of the living dead” I mean just look at that snazzy poster! The film I’m reviewing here <i>Murder Clinic</i> went under the title of <i>Revenge of the Living Dead</i> and good ole Skunkape took a gondola trip to Sicily to procure this very copy for me. If you were curious, <i>Kill Baby Kill</i>- Mario Bava is the other “Living Dead” flick in the triple bill. Be sure and check out the straight jacket tongue wagglin’ trailer, which I first saw in <i>Mad Ron’s Prevues from Hell</i> (1987). This one won’t put you in a straight-jacket as advertised but it might make you drowsy if you despise this film subgenre.
This begins with some spooky music in an ultra-gothic setting. I used to think Giallos were boring and wretched but lately I’ve been enjoying them more. I’m not even gacked up on some neck tension inducing sativa or my 18th cup of Folgers crystals.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgAwimVcJD2BTPS6uLE328pzlqEIbQLPXrRWIP5Vl-tdZq0ydWAqaDAIwfGVTEUaSDRCZ3Emv4Z2AM0icnjj_3PBpcGnUjUATpF-Ta8TbEjGJvo3V4FZN7uQvxRX1dH6OjFyIbd8zv8D4Yr1ooRvS5kemeDETWsdqoGqKPvsmJ-aDwRzH5JrLiZo7hGbw/s419/Screen%20Shot%202023-03-14%20at%201.47.11%20PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="320" data-original-width="419" height="244" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgAwimVcJD2BTPS6uLE328pzlqEIbQLPXrRWIP5Vl-tdZq0ydWAqaDAIwfGVTEUaSDRCZ3Emv4Z2AM0icnjj_3PBpcGnUjUATpF-Ta8TbEjGJvo3V4FZN7uQvxRX1dH6OjFyIbd8zv8D4Yr1ooRvS5kemeDETWsdqoGqKPvsmJ-aDwRzH5JrLiZo7hGbw/s320/Screen%20Shot%202023-03-14%20at%201.47.11%20PM.png" width="320" /></a></div><br /> </div><div>So, if you can find it, check this one out.
The typical Giallo black cloak/straight razor motif used later by Hitchcockian devotees like Brian DePalma and Dario A. is present. We’re trapped in a gaunt mental home with a cruel old carved apple faced female named Sheena (she looks more like a Hagatha). This character is played by Harriet Medin, who has quite a resume! She’s been in lots of Italians Horrors like <i>Black Sabbath</i>(1963)<i>, Horrible Dr. Hichcock </i>(1962) but then in her mature years <i>The Terminator</i> (1984), <i>Fresh Prince (1993) a</i>nd<i> Quantum Leap</i> (1984)! Yowza! </div><div><br /></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqVeCoP3ZdGwF8jaScnkIXosSDb8NVZka20SLuCl51gTbxdGdI733D2iHF5PiQ_EstzLXgfk5emKECPdjfdjmsQUvJyxhvFzDpIlKycHAyQPVrEgjZg9xjArqFmaqJ6sVwVRKWhGDjq2TTkJhscIexaBU6SOOFa6GMIbbtds0g4b0r3TwQPa_r2EECYw/s851/hagatha.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="417" data-original-width="851" height="157" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqVeCoP3ZdGwF8jaScnkIXosSDb8NVZka20SLuCl51gTbxdGdI733D2iHF5PiQ_EstzLXgfk5emKECPdjfdjmsQUvJyxhvFzDpIlKycHAyQPVrEgjZg9xjArqFmaqJ6sVwVRKWhGDjq2TTkJhscIexaBU6SOOFa6GMIbbtds0g4b0r3TwQPa_r2EECYw/s320/hagatha.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I taught the Fresh Prince how to sucker punch</td></tr></tbody></table><br /><div><br /></div><div>This movie has the eerie late-night vibe of a creature feature hosted by your fav horror host. Just picked one, there are so many—Dr. Gangrene from Nashville perhaps.</div><div><br /></div><div>The surf guitar chugging peppers the score. The women in this mental home are very unsafe. Dr. Vance a ghoulish Victorian chap lies to a blonde nurse named Mary. Barbara Wilson who plays the newbie nurse literally never acted again after this role.
William Burger plays the aforementioned Dr. Vance. Burger later on was in <i>Devil Fish</i> (1984) and a Lou Ferrigno <i>Hercules </i>(1983) flick. Dr. Vance’s wife has a hideously mangled face. Ooh---it's gruesome. It looks like a soggy Morlock or a mop that swept up a pile of chop-meat with a dangling oyster. </div><div><br /></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2o-axTAhKf-ySRgaMUlu-54_Sikqz-XMTAU9FQi3_s6KPICSdWVEtUpNaqeO-EC0AhvbkV5kVyQaMiAkr6hRo5VSYPSvPfU774YHnByifd64Uc6irYyHMvZ7YeWSL2iQgBKH48rlk-6mdgRiZUe6Vw_RWOTQKAXfcOn1aUsJqwNQXVbJYe6tRemjufg/s814/the-murder-clinic-47.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="814" data-original-width="650" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2o-axTAhKf-ySRgaMUlu-54_Sikqz-XMTAU9FQi3_s6KPICSdWVEtUpNaqeO-EC0AhvbkV5kVyQaMiAkr6hRo5VSYPSvPfU774YHnByifd64Uc6irYyHMvZ7YeWSL2iQgBKH48rlk-6mdgRiZUe6Vw_RWOTQKAXfcOn1aUsJqwNQXVbJYe6tRemjufg/s320/the-murder-clinic-47.jpg" width="256" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I HEARD THAT!</td></tr></tbody></table><div><br /></div><div>Dr. Vance sometimes reminds me of Peter Cushing but utterly more unpleasant. He feels up the Giselle, a girl he finds lying in the forest by saying “I’m a Doctor”. He has something devious up his sleeve for sure.
There’s a mental ill elderly lady with a big stuff white cat. The wooden paneled institute holds all kinds of unstable and fragile people. When they get jumpy, there’s a primitive medieval looking injection awaiting them, OUCH!
There’s a seriously fucked up scene where a dude getting dragged under a horse carriage. Since it’s the mid 60s they darken the screen and we don’t see guts. Unless there’s a <i>Corruption</i> (1968) type uncensored cut I’m not aware of. </div><div><br /></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDT57rJ0LU8_QkEui-7C7FUDuEs4fv7iX_acb3R9Fd4oL6YhMFlPbyFpuK56XrX0LtGJP-inwXFX5dN7mOSWeN1HR88GafN1VoLVaT3revicZzhOjBy2EyiyE32-V4sikgIBvq-6ohd8EHemKg5SkLgqPB5t-Rpy6eGALf3T7N3FePx3GZA6DmpK2NnQ/s400/murderclinic6.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="171" data-original-width="400" height="137" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDT57rJ0LU8_QkEui-7C7FUDuEs4fv7iX_acb3R9Fd4oL6YhMFlPbyFpuK56XrX0LtGJP-inwXFX5dN7mOSWeN1HR88GafN1VoLVaT3revicZzhOjBy2EyiyE32-V4sikgIBvq-6ohd8EHemKg5SkLgqPB5t-Rpy6eGALf3T7N3FePx3GZA6DmpK2NnQ/s320/murderclinic6.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">insert pussy joke here</td></tr></tbody></table><br /><div><br /></div><div>Giselle and Mary chat for a few mins and seem like opposites. Françoise Prévost was in <i>Spirits of the Dead</i> (1968) with Jane Fonda and <i>The Possessor aka Return of the Exorcist</i> (1975). </div><div><br /></div><div>We find out through his partner (maybe his nurse, I was never clear ) that Vance is a female killing creep who got away with his crimes. They’re obviously trying to make him look like the killer. One inmate named Fred tries to slice a Blonde’s throat with a glass bottle but Mary somehow gets him to come out of his hyper-manic episode. I hate this scene because this is supposed to be a hospital that treats mentally ill patients. There’s just the right dose of meds around the corner for Fred! Fred (Massimo Righi) was in two Bava movies <i>Blood & Black lace</i> (1964), <i>Black Sabbath</i> (1963) and a couple Spaghetti Wests. </div><div><br /></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhd81ITdEgkZL_xgnB0zeIR07S_gdSWwRZyhziQp6vwdAYdgk_nZc3qlo3X_XajSk-5Y00qDHHoPBatgc7oPLVfLwErtKIjH8ZvYzc0JaQzMBA8ajbpfA0PXCLhv5HA_1uvierTv2DRUAwXmfkasSqWmAxoNEuKzc_aU5P5D9y1BbQ0AyqR-_wk2IUDuw/s400/murderclinic11.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="170" data-original-width="400" height="136" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhd81ITdEgkZL_xgnB0zeIR07S_gdSWwRZyhziQp6vwdAYdgk_nZc3qlo3X_XajSk-5Y00qDHHoPBatgc7oPLVfLwErtKIjH8ZvYzc0JaQzMBA8ajbpfA0PXCLhv5HA_1uvierTv2DRUAwXmfkasSqWmAxoNEuKzc_aU5P5D9y1BbQ0AyqR-_wk2IUDuw/s320/murderclinic11.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Fred will get the proper meds one day, just not in this insane asylum.</td></tr></tbody></table><br /><div><br /></div><div>Anyway, Dr. Vance is busy shaving a Hamster, so me thinks medicine is too primitive if that shit is going on. It’s actually for a skin graft on his ugly wife’s face! </div><div><br /></div><div>There’s a late-night hallway encounter where Giselle takes one look at ole hemorrhoid Chewbacca (by that I mean Dr. Vance’s wife’s mug) and faints as the witch emits laughing guttural sounds. </div><div><br /></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhp4dl1iiSA5WmMd1J99Zg62lpBuzkPwKcn9q7YFvmm2_-lhIIolKv1sevSVizVQlTXSYSlCroeiNS6gn7SQiiGx9I5msQk7GaJClq2aeuZ2fIkNt8aGSyRmwggaUfY8xtSC13CvLjb_20KOnkyCCjqqAxQLKFXR3eO-kdIIKAJBTeF3IslsFqOCRu1fA/s855/gisellenancy.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="411" data-original-width="855" height="154" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhp4dl1iiSA5WmMd1J99Zg62lpBuzkPwKcn9q7YFvmm2_-lhIIolKv1sevSVizVQlTXSYSlCroeiNS6gn7SQiiGx9I5msQk7GaJClq2aeuZ2fIkNt8aGSyRmwggaUfY8xtSC13CvLjb_20KOnkyCCjqqAxQLKFXR3eO-kdIIKAJBTeF3IslsFqOCRu1fA/s320/gisellenancy.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">These boots are made for blackmail</td></tr></tbody></table><br /><div><br /></div><div>Giselle, who looks a lot like Nancy Sinatra blackmails Vance because she saw him bury a corpse and thinks she has some leverage. Cut to she was attacked by the straight razor wielding maniac (who they pretty much give you the answer early on). </div><div><br /></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgpDL6p5l5E0QD9-5KoxUfduQPJgxuuYZSnHZkYg4f6IlE8zL7V8Rq1JNRF6_3-7UPUjrkU6hM7hN2mlZUzH6qrR_5eZ3LSj2gCfg1Rvn2ubPur0ilRCNAaoAmZn-8G7EJtjsrNBJ_1HPuA1kRx7aUaD6OZl7w8mTLd7zLXoqL4oqWCh6vtpQ-ZXX-wKg/s457/kill%20baby.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="457" data-original-width="328" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgpDL6p5l5E0QD9-5KoxUfduQPJgxuuYZSnHZkYg4f6IlE8zL7V8Rq1JNRF6_3-7UPUjrkU6hM7hN2mlZUzH6qrR_5eZ3LSj2gCfg1Rvn2ubPur0ilRCNAaoAmZn-8G7EJtjsrNBJ_1HPuA1kRx7aUaD6OZl7w8mTLd7zLXoqL4oqWCh6vtpQ-ZXX-wKg/s320/kill%20baby.png" width="230" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">poster for another film in the triple bill</td></tr></tbody></table><br /><div>This one leans very heavily on spooky Goth atmosphere and Victorian bullshit which is fine. Didn’t love it, didn’t hate it. This one reminds me slightly of<i> Torture Chamber of Dr. Sadism</i> (1967). Out of the triple bill I enjoyed it more than <i>Kill Baby Kill (1966)or Fangs of the Living Dead (1969)</i> directed by the same man who created The Blind Dead. There’s another film titled <i>Revenge of the Living Dead (La revanche des mortes vivantes</i> 1987) from France that is epic! I give this Giallo pudding 3 sprays of whip cream/</div><div>cheese in a can. <a href="https://www.diabolikdvd.com/product/murder-clinic-la-lama-nel-corpo-blu-ray-all-region/">Diabolik</a> has and all region blu-ray.</div></div>Crankenstienhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09593719076720443439noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3851435459899615804.post-14361972400027285582023-03-12T21:58:00.000-07:002023-03-12T21:58:03.359-07:00HERE’S BLOOD IN YER EYE: CHAS BALUN. 1948-2009<p> </p>
As many of you folks know by now, I spent my formative teen years growing up in a Midwest landlock. Living in the 80’s. Overweight, misunderstood and glued to a TV, long before the home stereo ever factored in. Sports did not exist.<i> Uncle Don’s Terror Theater</i> and the <i>Son of Svengoolie</i> did. These silly local horror hosts, along with the glory days of video rental brought me new visions of terror weekly. When I wasn’t staring at the tube, drawing monster cars or sitting alone the dark, I was feeding my brains on whatever horror film magazines I could get my chubby/grubby hands on. Too young to hit the first wave of tween scream periodicals like<i> Famous Monsters</i> or the early hands-on/how-to digest <i>Cinemagic</i>; I sprouted up just in time to find <i>Fangoria </i>fresh and bleeding on the shelves. From this I learned the wonders of the straight up gore flick. Local mom-n-pop video stores may have been my temples for grue blasting creature features and slasher worship, but it wasn’t ‘til I picked up that <i>Fango</i> (sometime around the summer of ’83) that I got taught a little bit of history. And even then, I barely respected it. <div><br /></div><div>Inside these issues were the review columns of a certain "Dr. Cyclops". Mostly the Doc went on about old B&W flicks from Universal, Roger Corman produced drive-in schlock and <i>Hammer</i>-style imports. I would briefly glance over them, linger on the box art images for a minute, then move on to the more important stuff…full color pages of dripping entrails and zombie head explosions. Man, how well I remember the cover of issue #25. The first NEW copy I ever picked up. It had the Videodrome television on the front: guts strewn out, dangling like candy from a rotten and smashed piñata. A TV set, so engorged on this bloody organ buffet, it had burst open from the wet girth. Delightful. Dee-lish. This was what mattered. Who cares about that classical-class or the psychological horror? Not the plus-sized, sweat panted youth of America…that was for damn sure. </div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcj1jdWI96YwTDWYotYpVz7JgbPnKiSQfCNKkx28c_TPFLegMFlYNIYwLJ2AU3ZrD2KG4mgixPbG2sF_4r6DuefJBFnzQjFJkMFsg8IIYTINp94JRkTnSvwVB90PVtNok1x2C7s1A7S3tS96yrBYOVWT1raql56V_0eX5nGDs4uqVFMM4qwuvdFc53YQ/s372/dr.%20cyclops.png" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="281" data-original-width="372" height="242" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcj1jdWI96YwTDWYotYpVz7JgbPnKiSQfCNKkx28c_TPFLegMFlYNIYwLJ2AU3ZrD2KG4mgixPbG2sF_4r6DuefJBFnzQjFJkMFsg8IIYTINp94JRkTnSvwVB90PVtNok1x2C7s1A7S3tS96yrBYOVWT1raql56V_0eX5nGDs4uqVFMM4qwuvdFc53YQ/s320/dr.%20cyclops.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="text-align: left;"> </span><span style="text-align: left;">Dr. Cyclops (whereabouts unknown)</span></td></tr></tbody></table><div><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><br /></div><br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtgAJ13YQHaUPyR9FrdKoUFzuzkfjgqo0cP7zE2WwzY2xY0IP1m_Cf5sRt32wfn-m2jiJYli8d81R0pFC03fZ15WKJW78l0-tsHG4pb2oECrth24VMg_SLQGTUDBPsFclqOVUuw8ETWAPwo45QG12QBBKNKB0jK-csz4XQBeEMFkrHFoDtin6Lgjz29A/s530/Screen%20Shot%202023-03-09%20at%202.32.33%20PM.png" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="530" data-original-width="388" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtgAJ13YQHaUPyR9FrdKoUFzuzkfjgqo0cP7zE2WwzY2xY0IP1m_Cf5sRt32wfn-m2jiJYli8d81R0pFC03fZ15WKJW78l0-tsHG4pb2oECrth24VMg_SLQGTUDBPsFclqOVUuw8ETWAPwo45QG12QBBKNKB0jK-csz4XQBeEMFkrHFoDtin6Lgjz29A/s320/Screen%20Shot%202023-03-09%20at%202.32.33%20PM.png" width="234" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="text-align: left;">(issue 25, TV With GUTS where TOG stole their banner from)</span></td></tr></tbody></table><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> <span> <span> </span></span></span><br /><div><br /></div><div> There was a local comic and games shop (called <i>Tomorrow is Yesterday</i>, for those who care) that I’d force my family to drive me to twice a week. Religiously. A ritual I continued to do solo, well into my college years. Here I snagged up the better digests that existed in the fantasy film realm. Stronger stuff than what mall shop booksellers could offer me. Not just magazines proper, but overzealous rants on xerox (or even mimeographs…remember them, grandpappy?) written by psycho-babbling nutbags like myself. Only older. And with better typing skills. Or at the least, with nicer penmanship. </div><div><br /></div><div>Zines enter my picture HERE. Not with music. Not with punk. But with horror and sci-fi fandom. The idea of music rags didn’t rattle my feeble brain ‘til my twenties. No stock pile of <i>Touch N Go, Search and Destroy, o</i>r<i> Forced Exposure</i> in my cupboard. No sir. Not yet. It was all film related in the lame “Frankie Says”-era. Most importantly, these new cut-n-paste-ups were studies in the ghastly world of gore. I started to branch out into some classier fare (<i>Midnight Marquee, Demonique</i>) and nerdish lost film worship (<i>Video Watchdog and Psychotronic</i>) as time passed, but these early guts n’ gravy mags always found the soft spot between my ribmeats. And during these fruitful times, one scribe’s pen spoke to me and these vulgar interests more than any other. A big bear of a man, always pictured with disheveled hair and an evil glint in his eye. A man who looked uncannily as rabid as Gunnar "Leatherface" Hansen himself. That man was Charlie “Chas” Balun.
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-5aKYkYXDI1XiqN6A4NhDj6N9JDypYFsJuk2w4K7nWj7zge5rM_tOqclbEyLQilUxcmir4QdcMsi3-KYYqufk4J6QPlOKbpYl2vH8LhqBl265ZKG7nQxFtlw70ghR756GIX-6iYW4qVnPLkpASOUGRZlMpqc0T6ldwZUz3lW2ILeOcyZGbn4MMvqw4w/s1024/chas%20hat.jpeg" style="display: block; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; padding: 1em 0px; text-align: center;"><img alt="" border="0" data-original-height="934" data-original-width="1024" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-5aKYkYXDI1XiqN6A4NhDj6N9JDypYFsJuk2w4K7nWj7zge5rM_tOqclbEyLQilUxcmir4QdcMsi3-KYYqufk4J6QPlOKbpYl2vH8LhqBl265ZKG7nQxFtlw70ghR756GIX-6iYW4qVnPLkpASOUGRZlMpqc0T6ldwZUz3lW2ILeOcyZGbn4MMvqw4w/s320/chas%20hat.jpeg" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Chas at Fango's Weekend of Horrors.</td></tr></tbody></table></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div>He was the demonic bruiser behind such sweetly sick pages as <i>Deep Red </i>and <i>The Horror Holocaust,</i> whose writing expressed such glee (and sometimes full-tilt hatred) for these trashy, often forgotten efforts, that it single-handedly jumpstarted my quest for certain holy grails and gutter flicks. A quest that has not ended, even to this day. There was no Leonard Maltin pussyfootin’ around in <i>Deep Red</i>. Films reviewed had accurately been said to “suck farts out of a dead cat's ass” from time to time. That is a direct quote. Look it up. I, as an impressionable youth, wholeheartedly agreed. Don’t mince words. Deliver the groceries. And his black and red offset printed pages did just that. Delivered these goods...in a bodybag. I still have my well thumbed Gore Score review guide. Battered, thumbed and hi-lighted to the point of being illegible. It’s going nowhere. </div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><img alt="" border="0" data-original-height="405" data-original-width="835" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6Y_mQGHGUf1WWrEM7l-xUlCuKvRVQPQ5vdAzsHN3gWhvsv8UoekRfTUJdv0LP-7PucvpPnd7nrNSAGeg3C7y9uho9PqM0Tq6_xdGXgzvV8HdvTSt_vCwHNPvi91vyEJSMnmINcq8BRzHlxNfmieu1PpBvnngUIPO4INTA4pSSYAr04tHkwdKz3XiYJg/s320/Screen%20Shot%202023-03-09%20at%203.28.50%20PM.png" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" width="320" /></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="text-align: left;"> </span><span style="text-align: left;">(The illustrious Gore Score (zoom in for clarity)</span></td></tr></tbody></table><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><span style="text-align: left;"><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span></span></div></div><div>He taught me many things: Herschel Gordon Lewis was KING. The Italians could do ANYTHING better, and on even less of a budget. <i>Dr. Butcher MD</i> was a high bar that all must match in trash cinema. (Well, until <i>I Drink Your Blood </i>finally made its bootleg rounds). And so on. </div><div><br /></div><div>Looking back now, I can see we didn’t always gel in agreement. I’m pretty sure he’d rather carve up his own scrotum with broken glass shards than watch any Andy Milligan flick. Shit. Most would. He also burned some bridges with the folks over at <i>Film Threat </i>and the like, selling off unauthorized copies of rare J. Buttgereit films (<i>Nekromantik, Der Todesking</i>, etc.), but it didn’t faze me. I’m no businessman. I’m a fanboy. He wrote novels (<i>Ninth & Hell Street</i>) and screenplays (<i>Chunk Blower</i>) and as time charged on he even put in some hours at the Fango HQ, along with their upstart mags like GoreZone. From what I recall, this did not tame him. He was a frothing zealous creature who stuck out like a sore thumb in the clinically pure Q&A trappings of a national publication. His throw-it-all-in-yer-face style and attitude was so PUNK at the time for horror film reviewing. Or maybe metal. Crossover? Hard to remember these days. Drug out of the 42nd Street sewers and shoved into yer Kroch’s and Brentano’s shopping center mugs, horrifying parents of impressionable kiddies everywhere. Warped me fer good.
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKO_sJD66p1avS-JFT3XxvRi2982qHpTmy194Tijau5CivcAB6Jwx4rXLk2JMBdANz7bZUUW2j4vbA2a5_CNa0d-IUYFOw8IyiaMoeV5XnD1HoMKpEkc7iEiUYa4fVAXL8DT1s7lodBwHIRaJJCJ7gURQqmK6AucC9wxXGTm2e1xts7HqEbGW6EphH2w/s2048/rob%20guts%20maker.jpeg" style="display: block; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; padding: 1em 0px; text-align: center;"><img alt="" border="0" data-original-height="1536" data-original-width="2048" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKO_sJD66p1avS-JFT3XxvRi2982qHpTmy194Tijau5CivcAB6Jwx4rXLk2JMBdANz7bZUUW2j4vbA2a5_CNa0d-IUYFOw8IyiaMoeV5XnD1HoMKpEkc7iEiUYa4fVAXL8DT1s7lodBwHIRaJJCJ7gURQqmK6AucC9wxXGTm2e1xts7HqEbGW6EphH2w/s320/rob%20guts%20maker.jpeg" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="text-align: left;"><span> </span>(</span><span style="text-align: left;"><a href="https://www.discogs.com/de/artist/1131342-Rob-Fletcher">RF</a> delivers the guts)</span></td></tr></tbody></table>
<span> <span> <span> </span><span> </span><span> <span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span></span></span></span></div><div><br /></div><div>Chas - along with real punk/film buff extraordinaire, Chris D. - are really the only reason I sit here today blathering about movies, music, etc. Balun was an honest to God hero to me. One of the very few.
And sadly, no longer with us. </div><div><br /></div><div>Just shy of a year by the time you’ll be reading this, Chas finally caved in on his battle with cancer. I was never even aware he was sick. I’ve been out of the loop with these mags and related zines for most of the past decade. I rarely even troll the proper websites ‘cept for when I wanna find out what’s hitting the DVD market. I was casually reading a mid-year issue of the Goth-horror digest <i>Rue Morgue</i> (on the toilet no less…where else?) when I saw his passing mentioned in the editorial. I felt sickly. Like when I found out Ed “Big Daddy” Roth had died. I never met him either, but both were so formative and integral to the genetic make-up of what I am today (not much, but still…). I was heartbroken. Another year has withered away and yet another of my idols had passed. Just like the lame mid-lifer I’m slowly becoming, I cling dearly to my fondest memories. This past that I don’t wanna let go of. I think back to sitting around in high school art rooms photocopying (or cutting up) these magazines for disgusting locker decoration. I think back to standing in the snow, waiting for Pittsburgh metro buses, thumbing through bent issues of <i>Deep Red</i> during my Art Institute years. Reading about the latest Tom Savini f/x blowout or some uncut Japanese laserdisc that offers seconds more splatter to a lost cannibal flick. Hoping to be interviewed by the main Chas-man himself one day. Sorry kid. Ain’t gonna’ happen. Very little effects work for me in these times. And now, worse yet…no Charlie to chat with tomorrow. So I guess this is just me saying goodbye (a year late) to a muse, of sorts. From an unknown friend, fiend, fanatic and follower. To a lesser-scale celebrity whose demise has been grossly overlooked. It’s totally understandable. A lot of genre related greats went down in recent times. Bill Landis of <i>Sleazoid Express</i> for one. Ugh. Ray Dennis Steckler too. Etc…
Getting old is tragic and sad and not nearly as gory and violent as most of us gut-busters would have hoped for. I went and dug out the old <i>Deep Red</i> issues and stacked ‘em in the bathroom reading pile. To the left of the commode. Right where they belong. </div><div><br /></div><div>Cinema = Sewer.</div><div><br /></div><div>Just like old times. </div><div><br /></div><div>Here’s blood in yer eye. </div><div><br /></div><div>R.I.P.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><img alt="" border="0" data-original-height="1273" data-original-width="1125" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUV2FypMfLBcp6gGb80Ngki6Mci5t8jXX60Y913za_aJ7tw48TgczzHc9SYmy0GsJwxwoh6ggfZl3UAbBPDb3MxwrK04wWt897AcA2Y0mg12kps3XgStpx8OzIfj_-2aQoY1-5yF3mLL-uKC1lzkIYWHrCiLbAR6LjGM9864hF7rCePDjM_eX7HKlvAA/s400/chas%20fango.png" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" /></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Chas Balun is a legend.</td></tr></tbody></table>Crankenstienhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09593719076720443439noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3851435459899615804.post-44442770452084372682023-03-12T21:49:00.001-07:002023-03-16T15:14:00.068-07:00Vampyres (1974) <p><br /></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwkl2Q0p6j0M_wRKgV3VQryMsAE1A6hRCfWKQ6H3vdD1GKkDmayUzQN-C2vXf441MhSSptQnb49Kjd3k4Mtr7Vc8n74u7EdgHOLySlEKeZpeG3LV0j055F3jBFHEzGbSjVLMxWLDw5iwPw3LUkZf1nkPQwkFIxogNq9g0O5dQX8dOQdGt_s826QklSCw/s640/vampyres_aka_blood_hunger_aka_satan_s_daughters_aka_daughters_of_dracula-626953123-large.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="428" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwkl2Q0p6j0M_wRKgV3VQryMsAE1A6hRCfWKQ6H3vdD1GKkDmayUzQN-C2vXf441MhSSptQnb49Kjd3k4Mtr7Vc8n74u7EdgHOLySlEKeZpeG3LV0j055F3jBFHEzGbSjVLMxWLDw5iwPw3LUkZf1nkPQwkFIxogNq9g0O5dQX8dOQdGt_s826QklSCw/s320/vampyres_aka_blood_hunger_aka_satan_s_daughters_aka_daughters_of_dracula-626953123-large.jpg" width="214" /></a></div><br /><p><b>Vampyres Directed by José Ramón Larraz (1974)</b></p><p>I believed before that I’d seen this film but probably confused it for a<b> Jean Rollin/ Jess Franco</b> joint.</p><p>But no, it’s the groovy cryptic bloodthirsty stylings of José Ramón Larraz. I’ve seen three of his other films <i>Rest In Pieces (1987)</i>, which I loved, it was enjoyably demented. The others were<i> Edge of An Axe (1988)</i> and <i>Deadly Manor (1990).</i>This film is technically brilliant. It’s all here, the mood, mystery and beauty of the vampiric females and the cryptic countryside. The two uber sexy women are Fran (Marianne Morris) and Miriam (Anulka Dziubinska). According to Femme Fatales (vol. 5 #3) Anulka was nervous during the Lesbian make-out scenes and downed half a bottle of Scotch to loosen up. In the same interview Marianne mentions how most of the populous of Britain know her from a sexy jeans ad and she retired from acting to run her own business.</p><p>During a scene with a Brit couple, I spotted Sultana Bran which looks like a British version of Raisin Bran but enough about breakfast.</p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhG5LQS7N1_vV26Gm65RS7Ms8fVYo550LrYcf8tV8ApDZVzjCLZBfUbDUMER-ci7MZmpg2rMIArM4mOxTWxLQRBk2dkCrBCF2f3Dug1m0lQCkpH9y_BCWSfPshn0dvT9HL0_6WAL-0ydVoFhn3Ni9kXrnLEE_5WdJUGjx0NpM7IBh5ny1JbquuXlOlFag/s1280/vampbreak.png" style="display: block; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; padding: 1em 0px; text-align: center;"><img alt="" border="0" data-original-height="539" data-original-width="1280" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhG5LQS7N1_vV26Gm65RS7Ms8fVYo550LrYcf8tV8ApDZVzjCLZBfUbDUMER-ci7MZmpg2rMIArM4mOxTWxLQRBk2dkCrBCF2f3Dug1m0lQCkpH9y_BCWSfPshn0dvT9HL0_6WAL-0ydVoFhn3Ni9kXrnLEE_5WdJUGjx0NpM7IBh5ny1JbquuXlOlFag/s320/vampbreak.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Just two scoops of Bat guano in your flakes</td></tr></tbody></table><div><br /></div>
This Ted character played by Murray Brown looks like one of the borstal teachers from the movie <i>SCUM (1979)</i>. He’s our main protagonist.
Ted and Fran the vampire lady start bonin’ in the most intimately disgusting fashion. Where is this relationship going anyway, nowhere pleasant that’s for sure! <p></p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-ahyhzLo8Eg4GawKgnqf2aqleGLvfGulzmEKg-n23pK-RoLCqMy3TwhgqQjAcAh1SEnAZ08k56z70FVBuW2QJ3LEu4NGLDdNsZfKReKcwscLBWFLKn73jSzhftaf7YIG1g1s1f6gOvk7zIoMHcUAgbeyz3dUt0EGycQwmjj-wilhqmHmcB1hMq1721g/s1280/ted%20and%20fran.png" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="723" data-original-width="1280" height="181" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-ahyhzLo8Eg4GawKgnqf2aqleGLvfGulzmEKg-n23pK-RoLCqMy3TwhgqQjAcAh1SEnAZ08k56z70FVBuW2QJ3LEu4NGLDdNsZfKReKcwscLBWFLKn73jSzhftaf7YIG1g1s1f6gOvk7zIoMHcUAgbeyz3dUt0EGycQwmjj-wilhqmHmcB1hMq1721g/s320/ted%20and%20fran.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Ted first noticing something is freaky with Fran</td></tr></tbody></table><p>Next Ted wakes up with hideous gash and seems severely weak and hung over. But bloodsucking Fran is missing because it’s daylight and vampires or “vampYres” hide from the light, or do they? And how do I explain the scenes before during the day where the female vamps are hitchhiking in broad daylight, well I cannot!
Maybe the film makers just discovered vampire lore or maybe “vampYres” are exempt from Bram Stoker shit like when<i> Seinfeld</i>’s girlfriend talked her way out of a speeding ticket.
At any rate Ted is gonna turn, spoiler alert he doesn’t and his suffering just gets worse. Now it’s night again and Fran throws a party w Miriam her girlfriend and Rupert. So, it’s starting to get kinky, hopefully not Fred and Rose West serial killer kinky. </p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRhNLDJAyuSMN4wJy-ST_ZuE7vzD8wSZwETIVIbQ4B0h_lb2bK_YYzNeVHY3Rm2Z3g_k0gTndYkIWb2gfdxAwqDCE36raug2_7-t3akbwLSkMdFGVB1HYkyW58gNgi26AOaeKo0Xk7JUYhStvSN4j2I7c7TS0Y7SeFsyllkwfF-Jfq1GvqtgHWZ0cPWw/s1279/bloodorgy.png" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="759" data-original-width="1279" height="190" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRhNLDJAyuSMN4wJy-ST_ZuE7vzD8wSZwETIVIbQ4B0h_lb2bK_YYzNeVHY3Rm2Z3g_k0gTndYkIWb2gfdxAwqDCE36raug2_7-t3akbwLSkMdFGVB1HYkyW58gNgi26AOaeKo0Xk7JUYhStvSN4j2I7c7TS0Y7SeFsyllkwfF-Jfq1GvqtgHWZ0cPWw/s320/bloodorgy.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Rupert didn't get the naughty fun orgy he wanted.</td></tr></tbody></table><br /><p>There’s a Brit couple I haven’t mentioned (the <i>Raisin Bran</i> folks) they sort of watch everything and pontificate. The blood scarfing gets icky to gnarly as both women (Miriam and Fran) slurp up a knife victim. This reminds me of<i> Daughters of Darkness</i> and would fit in the Eurotrash encyclopedia book “Immoral Tales” by Pete Tombs. </p><p><br /></p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivZ4Xi-4WHOuvL-OEyiWn5G9SkIoDHgP1S5zwSLMGQtDhbCLcHrUIp4q3eZ884_cfvzKHAlcrMBZOfRpvIwUGILIfaev_c8usVdiryD1y9XD3DoziefM-LG9H0GYRv5LxchMwtcIWrLNPbsKnrs32fWVnRq06-ueEGAzVRHE3kztXsrUqmZT7X_7PNNw/s881/fran%20miriam.png" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="542" data-original-width="881" height="197" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivZ4Xi-4WHOuvL-OEyiWn5G9SkIoDHgP1S5zwSLMGQtDhbCLcHrUIp4q3eZ884_cfvzKHAlcrMBZOfRpvIwUGILIfaev_c8usVdiryD1y9XD3DoziefM-LG9H0GYRv5LxchMwtcIWrLNPbsKnrs32fWVnRq06-ueEGAzVRHE3kztXsrUqmZT7X_7PNNw/s320/fran%20miriam.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Draining your veins for our pleasure makes us laugh.</td></tr></tbody></table><br /><p>The gals are once again able to walk in the sunshine like that Roger Miller song goes. Perhaps just after a fresh blood slurpee , it gives them protection from flame combustion by the Sun’s rays. Let’s go with that! </p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjP0ZBzXmYqffBQGKOEJeYVI0epz_4g6Td1axy34-hJp6he5KsePyFpiK-loXja7e0WyloBqAvtE8VDhKyf7Hzoxsmi53TjHYZqpYAa-hSfWk40uYXzkoyXD_yQADp_qri78BEdUknJPgAjjzeXyIwVEZjpqrw8Iw9L2ubKekTXiGLNH3-rszSnZwCgsw/s1056/chicken%20roger.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="802" data-original-width="1056" height="243" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjP0ZBzXmYqffBQGKOEJeYVI0epz_4g6Td1axy34-hJp6he5KsePyFpiK-loXja7e0WyloBqAvtE8VDhKyf7Hzoxsmi53TjHYZqpYAa-hSfWk40uYXzkoyXD_yQADp_qri78BEdUknJPgAjjzeXyIwVEZjpqrw8Iw9L2ubKekTXiGLNH3-rszSnZwCgsw/s320/chicken%20roger.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Roger Miller will devour these chickens and drink their blood.</td></tr></tbody></table><p><br /></p><p>The vaginal wound spurting sex-o-delic fuel for Miriam and Fran made me wince a little. Squirmy squirm. </p><p>The vamp ladies toy with a snotty wine critic and we see some ancient reds in the cellar. They play a wine guessing game with this fellow.
This movie is one distinctive and original vampire flick. If you can handle the vampire mythos bent and reconfigured and the classy or overt sexual nature then check it out. I heard the film recently reviewed on one of my fav podcasts <a href="https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/necromaniacs-podcast/id814828594">Necromaniacs </a>and thought I would check it out. I watched it on Tubi and Arrow released the Blu-Ray.</p><p><b>3 1/2 out of five Lesbian vampire fangs.</b></p><p><b><br /></b></p>Crankenstienhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09593719076720443439noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3851435459899615804.post-85127332436521093962023-03-11T02:16:00.000-08:002023-03-12T01:56:57.015-08:00TOG Returns!<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrVWNw1OXcL8j8DRHo_f1TJqokoL1Rq_IND_SI95b0h6qG8T0PgULztUS9i1dub2UOZcLjL-yZQ0hP9u9KPUJdOLXTp4COkUlwzMviECCtbbBPPkIFVjj6r9A7C_WFvI0i2PMzzUb2cQgNjz6z1lNeqZHC3knZOXFrNUiLXcApellHv8ZDAZ3PwiHMmg/s441/support%20mental.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="441" data-original-width="400" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrVWNw1OXcL8j8DRHo_f1TJqokoL1Rq_IND_SI95b0h6qG8T0PgULztUS9i1dub2UOZcLjL-yZQ0hP9u9KPUJdOLXTp4COkUlwzMviECCtbbBPPkIFVjj6r9A7C_WFvI0i2PMzzUb2cQgNjz6z1lNeqZHC3knZOXFrNUiLXcApellHv8ZDAZ3PwiHMmg/s320/support%20mental.png" width="290" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="text-align: left;">Hey TOG readers I’m back after a long-needed sabbatical from the Interwebs. Well---- at least a break from performing as Lester Bangs, Rex Reed or Janet Maslin in the guise of a snarky film critic douche or punk legend. I don’t really know why I had to stop blogging. It started with Orange Combover Hitler than dissolved into laziness, I already ditched FB after I got wind that they were all Nazis, but then again fascism is super trending on Tik Tok like nobodies biz. I mean have you heard? Everything is really </span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="text-align: left;">Terrible! </span></div><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJB4EHtahH1RwAbv3dE0H75Hjaf1NEOfCPrfmcrhtJiEaU3mPeFUiUgXsEEmoF2hWbCwJz58E40gNbDF2hq7-B6N_7LyBoaqYEFLZ8oH289aZUyBiRnREXSAr0ZPFW64Jbw1t0HtO20veOXc0glHfKeOOZM1w-8q3VkCMGJZkfh4Lbz8z7R7jaswHVvQ/s537/Screen%20Shot%202023-03-11%20at%201.20.11%20AM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="537" data-original-width="400" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJB4EHtahH1RwAbv3dE0H75Hjaf1NEOfCPrfmcrhtJiEaU3mPeFUiUgXsEEmoF2hWbCwJz58E40gNbDF2hq7-B6N_7LyBoaqYEFLZ8oH289aZUyBiRnREXSAr0ZPFW64Jbw1t0HtO20veOXc0glHfKeOOZM1w-8q3VkCMGJZkfh4Lbz8z7R7jaswHVvQ/s320/Screen%20Shot%202023-03-11%20at%201.20.11%20AM.png" width="238" /></a></div><br /><div><br /></div><div>Plus, shit like <i>Possession</i> and <i>Reflecting Skin</i> are currently on Shudder now for you to gather round the glow of your pristine HD Television and enjoy, crack open a Hazy microbrew and cackle like a lunatic. Every Average Joe lunch-pail is able to see these incredibly rare flicks that we had on our site as hard to find sometimes in the form of VHS gems only (the attribute not corporation). Anyone with a microphone has a podcast that covers rare horror flicks now. So why does this threaten me? I guess I was paranoid that if every messed-up art house/ grindhouse movie became common knowledge the fabric of the space time continuum would erode. But it already has, I just didn’t know it. By this I mean the literal Earth’s core is going in reverse and no one even noticed. So, I’ll live with it, throw away my silly protective grasp I have on these films that I owe so much of my sanity to. Heck, I’m ecstatic that Mad Foxes is gonna show up on Shout Factory next to Cannibal Apocalypse any day now! Once I saw LHODES showed up on Tubi for any toddler to start up, I knew the Apocalypse was Nigh! But it’s fine and I have more movies to cover that were in the Deep Red Catalog (SEE??, that crudely stapled together artifact is fuggin prophetic!) </div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDSKS5Tv7s5ylUM0xRotWHqR60K23SH6YLJjA8cqNFMPcf-fVotBj-TV9eHdBcdJsnv4FukpLhUxybL_IAxQNUP1im0DXIOkDd7VZt_3KrehchAqpKiADKmZ9eyVjOpcj_hS480kbIEpAaoF0I6UHLWQ2wdeXn49P8M5a87j16ZODO7f3UTj_YN73bYQ/s1508/vanessa%20vhs.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1125" data-original-width="1508" height="239" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDSKS5Tv7s5ylUM0xRotWHqR60K23SH6YLJjA8cqNFMPcf-fVotBj-TV9eHdBcdJsnv4FukpLhUxybL_IAxQNUP1im0DXIOkDd7VZt_3KrehchAqpKiADKmZ9eyVjOpcj_hS480kbIEpAaoF0I6UHLWQ2wdeXn49P8M5a87j16ZODO7f3UTj_YN73bYQ/s320/vanessa%20vhs.jpeg" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Bring on the FILTH</td></tr></tbody></table><br /><div><br /></div><div>These films are special to my formative years and bring me solace and I genuinely love the hell outta them. I’m not sure if everyone should watch them however. But I am happy they are available for all to view because fuck censorship. I fear it makes them disposable but maybe I have to accept the fact that we live in a disposable culture and the underground eventually rises to the top and becomes mainstream and we all become enslaved by its ignorance, some of us choose to let it affect us. One fear of mine, which we are all living through currently in 2023 (5 Years after 2019: After the Fall of NY) is that the fringe (you know Q-turds, Nazis, brainwashed rednecks, UFO peeps, Meatball Ron) will rise up and they surely have. I guess it’s just me getting old and my culture drizzling down the reservoir like Janet Leigh’s eye socket drainpipe. But I am back for now and plan on sticking it out at least for now. Look forward to USA UP ALL NIGHT WEEK Returning. If you missed the snarky reviews or wanna shout out anything nice in general. Hit us up in the comments. PEACE!</div><div>-Crankenstein/ EROK</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div>Crankenstienhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09593719076720443439noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3851435459899615804.post-49524809329603933562023-03-09T13:50:00.003-08:002023-03-12T01:56:18.286-08:00 JOIN THE ORDER OF GREEN BLOOD: Mad Ron and his Prevues From Hell
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<div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; font-style: italic; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYl-5rXr-jT3lYh70E8nZBxnfrRfE3balbcWtEIkdjAAcc4X3wBP7UvPeAD8oRlE0p_02-qpxbLgumVrIM4d7LZ3AFidEWtpHfwzvb1cGhkbVMiYqXLqnH53Jz__XiK2c6CU3doWnCw0IeS-XHFRRxzbPiGqTwkirCDJFpyuHl4gjxhSdowLoEUg6WMg/s3180/MAD%20RON%20COMIC.jpeg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1972" data-original-width="3180" height="198" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYl-5rXr-jT3lYh70E8nZBxnfrRfE3balbcWtEIkdjAAcc4X3wBP7UvPeAD8oRlE0p_02-qpxbLgumVrIM4d7LZ3AFidEWtpHfwzvb1cGhkbVMiYqXLqnH53Jz__XiK2c6CU3doWnCw0IeS-XHFRRxzbPiGqTwkirCDJFpyuHl4gjxhSdowLoEUg6WMg/s320/MAD%20RON%20COMIC.jpeg" width="320" /></a></div><div><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span>(Mad Ron comic by <a href="https://www.instagram.com/erokhell/">Erok Hell</a> zoom in for clarity)</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; font-style: italic; text-align: center;"><br /></div><br /><i>“It’s no good, but it’s the first of its kind” – H.G. Lewis on Blood Feast</i><span style="font-style: italic;"> </span></div><div><b><br /></b></div><div><b>By Rob Fletcher</b></div><div><br /></div><div><span style="color: red;"><b>(Erok here. Rob is a great friend of mine who graciously sent me some of these reviews that were originally going to be over at <a href="https://www.facebook.com/termbo/">TERMINAL BOREDOM</a>, which was a legendary site that recently decided to shuffle off this mortal internet coil. So now they will reside here, more to come later, stay tuned).</b></span></div><div> </div><div>If it was Chas Balun who got me lurking the VHS isles for unknown pleasures, it was this early find that glazed my eyeballs with the shock horror royalty. </div><div><br /></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2JLvpQCVNQLSlRHy0T9JSE2DEjy4N2cE32Ygkf4WccrfPxEK8tIU5e7z5J80kgnyTSXeSVRXhYZLp2EVS4gt3S_WU8yTrY22PCPRIi_DqfQivhjZnNPAfMe5XBkA-psItToBtYe39Kwv6oe7XPZGEO0QmT4mEEke_s7RVh2lCpbiYYKBEAcU0kVHBNg/s607/i283726789575817878._szw1280h1280_.png" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="389" data-original-width="607" height="205" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2JLvpQCVNQLSlRHy0T9JSE2DEjy4N2cE32Ygkf4WccrfPxEK8tIU5e7z5J80kgnyTSXeSVRXhYZLp2EVS4gt3S_WU8yTrY22PCPRIi_DqfQivhjZnNPAfMe5XBkA-psItToBtYe39Kwv6oe7XPZGEO0QmT4mEEke_s7RVh2lCpbiYYKBEAcU0kVHBNg/s320/i283726789575817878._szw1280h1280_.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="text-align: left;">(Chas at Fantacon 1988)</span></td></tr></tbody></table><span> <span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span></span><br /><div><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> <span> </span></span></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>The elder father of all trailer tapes - <i>Mad Ron’s Prevues from Hell</i>. Released in 1987 on an unknown Virgil Films/Off the Wall label, Mad Ron’s tape was (as far as I know) the first legit trailer compilation to make the rounds. No longer were you sitting through credits and color bars of Media tapes waiting for that final spool, just to catch a brief glimpse of <i>Funeral Home</i> or the teaser for <i>The Gates of Hell</i>. Now there was a video cassette available, chock full of every worth while horror pop-off you could dream of. An hour and a half of them, ready n’ aching to be dropped in yer top-loader. Other clip compilations and teaser vids co-existed at this time (<i>Zombiethon, Terror on Tape</i>), but everything was pale in comparison to my budding degenerate mind. Those others were edited together label-bests and brief scenes. These were actual theatrical trailers. The real artifact. Damaged celluloid and voice-overs intact.
Mad Ron, shown chained to his projection booth, frothing from the mouth and brandishing a machete, hosts alongside a completely stupid (yet somewhat enduring) horror host/comic nerd named Nick …and his zombie puppet sidekick, Happy Goldsplatt. All try to satiate us fans with boobs-n-blood while the theater buckles under an attack by the film craving undead. Lame stabs at humor and shot-on-video spookshow wraparounds aside, the guts of this compilation pack quite a wallop. At a time when the film trailer was seen as just trash to jettison off at the end of features or a reason to show up late at a marquee showing, it was mind-boggling that these goons had such a staggering collection.</div><div><br /></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5gAMfuOQv-smpLc6HYWRbwY4p0M631Z6jsVAAnjmsvtmDowwx2OL-dOtevRAt2IK6z-LscnUhd6cg42LXF8BO9TfytiTYPA6YL5nhu1-8sekLeag0sEeHh9MqgP_GChoe_b-QKyCnX_htAP5m2qXwsAAOqJz0DtNAxhjIqIeQ8ZBzFJLgzYW6v0gIiw/s346/nick%20pawlow.png" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="232" data-original-width="346" height="210" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5gAMfuOQv-smpLc6HYWRbwY4p0M631Z6jsVAAnjmsvtmDowwx2OL-dOtevRAt2IK6z-LscnUhd6cg42LXF8BO9TfytiTYPA6YL5nhu1-8sekLeag0sEeHh9MqgP_GChoe_b-QKyCnX_htAP5m2qXwsAAOqJz0DtNAxhjIqIeQ8ZBzFJLgzYW6v0gIiw/w312-h210/nick%20pawlow.png" width="312" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="text-align: left;"> </span><span style="text-align: left;">(Mad Ron Hosts Nick and his zombie puppet Happy)</span></td></tr></tbody></table><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><br /><div><br /></div><div>At home. For a lot of folks back then, this was the only time you got to see the snippets of such fine filth as <i>Deranged, I Drink Your Blood, Three on a Meathook</i>, etc. Oh and yeah…those were just in the first ten minutes! It was like the gore-met grocery list of the what-to-find and gotta-have.<i> Mad Dr. of Blood Island</i>? One of the greatest things that could happen to my ninth grade mind.<i> Children Shouldn’t Play With Dead Things</i>? I bought it the next day.<i> Cannibal Girls</i>? Still searching. Andy Milligan’s homespun atrocity, <i>The Ghastly Ones</i>? I spent 20 years trying to track that fucker down. Because. Of. This. Tape.
Since the Nineties brought on a resurgence of cinematic slime, fellas like Mike Vraney over at<i> Something Weird Video</i> one-upped the ante with his collections (and with skywards of a hundred or so different volumes), and now DVDs are popping up all the time with even tastier selections as well <i>(42nd Street Forever, Shock Festival</i>). It’s like everyone in the know now has a mighty pile of chill and thrill worthy trailers. I’m sure I’m sitting pretty on thirty plus hours of the little beaten bastards myself. But for a lot of the hounds out there, this Mad Ron pile of puke was ground zero. Like the H.G. Lewis quote up above, it wasn’t the best…but it was the lift off pad for the scum to come. Hell, even one of the best comps available on the “grey market” was just an edited down-to-the-goods (sorry Happy and Nick) version of the <i>Prevues From Hell</i> tape, updated with bonuses to pad out the running time. Did the makers find out? Unsure. I do know it was tragically deleted from a certain label's catalog not long after it hit the streets. And that was moons ago.
But now, dear friends, the time has arrived. This is available on DVD. Sure, its enclosed teasers have been seen on many legit and semi-legit releases over the years now, and there’s very little to offer of the “un-comped and obscure” variety…especially in this age of Tarantino fanboys and the YouTube savvy. But YOU still have to have that first Nuggets LP, right? Holding on to Pebbles Volume 1? Same sorta thing. Consider this the original <i>BFTG</i>, only replace Tim Warren’s snarky liner notes with a lisping dumbo corpse puppet. With enough Wild Turkey, they even might become one in the same. And what about the makers? Nick Pawlow: Hopefully not doing the Atlantic City comedy circuit. Surely he has come to terms with his flat jokes and laid Happy to rest. Mad Ron: probably still rolling around naked in his tattered filmstrip atrocities. I know I would. The guy who designed the gore and SOV zombie f/x? Well he was Jordu Schell…who happened to go on and make a career for himself out of slingin’ latex and resin (from <i>Bride of Re-animator</i> all the way up to <i>Hellboy</i>, and belched up computer cesspools like <i>Avatar</i>).
So this is where the hunt began, for me and a lot of like-minded youths. If ya wanted to delve into the wonderful land of the lost, this was a damn good place to start. Ripe with two minute payoffs, title swipes and savage hucksterisms. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPxwCBvwyDiBycbcDDH8sv-IDIywcjHGB-PbWqam-RCtrhfbPfAkYRBX6PHSpgaGk9nFgv80utYSLQo4p0lYnXfZ21o9LvMT13uugarhO2djo18cWMabFUQZzdbn-qnX24v5uqno2lChoNAY51bIxH03cRnnaPCZU5Uk_kW89CZmYDT9tQnYMfgEkGnQ/s366/bftg1.png" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="346" data-original-width="366" height="303" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPxwCBvwyDiBycbcDDH8sv-IDIywcjHGB-PbWqam-RCtrhfbPfAkYRBX6PHSpgaGk9nFgv80utYSLQo4p0lYnXfZ21o9LvMT13uugarhO2djo18cWMabFUQZzdbn-qnX24v5uqno2lChoNAY51bIxH03cRnnaPCZU5Uk_kW89CZmYDT9tQnYMfgEkGnQ/s320/bftg1.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="text-align: left;"> </span><span style="text-align: left;">(</span><span style="text-align: left;">snarkity snark snark)</span></td></tr></tbody></table><div><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span></div><br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPRQbXOFiKpEaDyfOkPsU7s0ty3kAlC6mCPBwlkl91kfwRNnzzfIVtPXYv0EO3DoeyeAQWv71RpVCVUKcNN7zlftHLIDj4jgEB8V_-nRue2_xmRvdFcmcqqO_VkyN43hmK0dtm97L_KEycpO8c8p99jw1TgijUVdKK0b_WSwZc4XxJPL5GV3VjmI9KRQ/s630/drooling%20ron.png" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="429" data-original-width="630" height="218" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPRQbXOFiKpEaDyfOkPsU7s0ty3kAlC6mCPBwlkl91kfwRNnzzfIVtPXYv0EO3DoeyeAQWv71RpVCVUKcNN7zlftHLIDj4jgEB8V_-nRue2_xmRvdFcmcqqO_VkyN43hmK0dtm97L_KEycpO8c8p99jw1TgijUVdKK0b_WSwZc4XxJPL5GV3VjmI9KRQ/s320/drooling%20ron.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="text-align: left;"> </span><span style="text-align: left;"> </span><span style="text-align: left;">(Drooling Ron)</span></td></tr></tbody></table><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><br /><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>You’ll never forget the day you hear “A guy went berserk down at the Bijou Theater...” routine from <i>The Blood Splattered Bride/I Dismembered Mamma </i>double bill. And you shouldn’t. It’s just THAT good. A lost art form, born out of carny ballyhoo. There’s a sucker born every minute, says P.T. Barnum…why not be a sucker too?
Now the BAD news. All initial reviews of the DVD’s transfer say it looks ass-worse than the original tape. I bought it and I gotta agree. It has a lot of distracting video strobe and light trails that bring it down quite a few notches on the must-have list for the holidays. Which is a shame, but really…again with my artifact schpeil…this oughta be on VHS. You can’t make those shot on video puppets look any better (but <i>Troll 2</i> just hit the Blu-Ray disc world, so what the hell do I know…).
The original tape still floats about in the collectors market and eBay sewers. Here’s the original VHS trailer for thee original VHS trailer tape.</div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvdXn2nLyj88HCmoO-9OszxU_8lRa8Nr77MhvqzWvJaBSxBVgPldpvGoXfb6i6kmD_bsyLh6OF2lUAMw2PfFJi19PNfn0lYn8KCGe0LlEEz599XmYLaAWGZoRSskFjfXTWHfP4wAcuYlktod8eXNolHMdDNxksfpQdJOXKgqYY6bLJblL0pRK9ztNqKQ/s317/upchuck%20cup.png" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="220" data-original-width="317" height="220" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvdXn2nLyj88HCmoO-9OszxU_8lRa8Nr77MhvqzWvJaBSxBVgPldpvGoXfb6i6kmD_bsyLh6OF2lUAMw2PfFJi19PNfn0lYn8KCGe0LlEEz599XmYLaAWGZoRSskFjfXTWHfP4wAcuYlktod8eXNolHMdDNxksfpQdJOXKgqYY6bLJblL0pRK9ztNqKQ/s1600/upchuck%20cup.png" width="317" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="text-align: left;">(we need a globe sized Upchuck Cup)</span></td></tr></tbody></table><br /><div><br /></div><div>Yeah. Soooo good...
Run to a nearby flea market and dig it out of the dollar box grave.
And here’s something for all you people who need lists ('cause I know yer out there). This is my top five (or so) trailer comp round up. These are the ones that I consider the best or at least merit some value and importance. Some may be a hassle to come by in this digital day and age. Others are probably streaming on Netflix for all you hi-tech junkies…just don’t ask me to figure it out. Happy hunting! </div><div><br /></div><div><b>1. Cinema Wasteland/The Bride of Cinema Wasteland – VHS (<a href="https://cinemawasteland.com/" target="_blank">Video Wasteland</a>)
</b>Here it is. The first Volume is the culprit I spoke of above. Cinema Wasteland, the once crazy Cleveland tape traders, have gone on to become genre expo-giants. But first they did horror film buffs a solid (unless you were Mad Ron) and released these gems. Their original tape was actually a beefed-up/edited-down to the bare bones variation of the <i>Prevues From Hell</i> tape. Those out there who can’t stomach bad gong show-style zombie ventriloquism might want to hunt this down. All the <i>Mad Ron</i> archive is represented (including the <i>Wildcat Women</i> in 3-D porno trailer that seems missing from the new disc. Go figure...) as well as another two dozen trailers. The makers continued with their “art” of borrowing for the second volume, The Bride Of Cinema Wasteland. Most of the reels that time out seemed culled from laser discs and Anchor Bay re-issue tapes, or I’d assume from the high quality and remastered feel of most. Still, ethics aside…it’s pretty sweet having all these in one handy package. Beat that with a stick. </div><div><br /></div><div><b>2. Blood-O-Rama Shock Show – VHS (<a href="https://www.somethingweird.com/" target="_blank">Something Weird</a>)</b>
You can always expect a few carry-overs from comp to comp, but the remainder of the oddities that spring forth from this tape claw and tear at yer throat with the best of 'em. Sadly, like most SWV horror trailer collections, this seems to have been be deleted from their catalog. What ya get if ya find it is 5O great gut busters, including a ton of Andy Milligan (big fan here) and classicks like <i>Shriek of the Mutilated, Mansion Of The Doomed and Night of 1000 Cats.</i> A serious gaggle of H.G. Lewis rarities are featured bumpin' up against Jean Rollin’s French vampire epics and<i> Ilsa</i> war atrocities. It even has J.M. McCarthy (director of <i>The Sore Losers, Teenage Tupelo</i>, etc) illustrated box art. Bad Ass-itude! Well worth the effort.</div><div><br /></div><div><b>3. Shiver and Shudder Show / Super Horror-Rama Shriek Show! - VHS (<a href="https://www.somethingweird.com/" target="_blank">Something Weird</a>)</b>
Sorry to hit you with more hard-to-find and outta print shit, but the goods don't get any gooder than these deleted SWV titles! And on top of that, I couldn’t choose just one. Shiver and Shudder Show offers up a lot of international frights and it's quite an impressive collection to behold. Mexi-wrastlin’ vampires vs. mummies, Italio sci-fi sleaze and rural American drive-in trash like <i>The Giant Leeches</i> and <i>Feast Of Flesh</i> come together under one clamshell. Super Horror-Rama starts things off with some Fifties b&w matinee fun, and treks its way through some mean spirited Seventies sicko-sexual romps, and even a few Blaxploiter titles as well. It all unspools in chronological order that grinds the decade to a halt with the <i>Friday the 13th</i> teaser. Thirty years of terror all in one compact tape case. Something Weird does still offer up many sexploitation collections (the Twisted Sex and Harry Novak Box Office Trailers volumes are all worthy and in abundance), so you might wanna take on a sleazy slice of those before they’re gone as well... </div><div><b><br /></b></div><div><b>4. Shock Festival - DVD (<a href="https://www.grindhousedatabase.com/index.php/Shock_Festival" target="_blank">Bloody Earth Films/Shock-o-Rama</a>)</b>
Here's an actual title you can get yer hands on! Shock Festival the DVD is based upon a “novel” written by screenwriter Stephen Romano. The book is a fictional mind-bender telling the false history of a group of exploitation film makers. Its chock full of mock interviews, phony poster art, and staged production stills for films. Learn of entire production teams, cast and crews…that never existed. Quite a feat really, and somehow it all ties together in a sordid tale of murder, mob and other Deuce related sleaze. What you get for Shock Festival the movie is a 2 DVD collection of trailers and an MP3 disc full of radio spots for films that do and don't exist. Seven impressive hours worth. To be honest, the fake film trailers in the mix are pretty bland and they ain't fooling anyone. The Grindhouse "intermission collection" available now (on Blu-Ray only) has no worries. BUT WHO CARES. You still get six plus hours of great exploitation to gawk at! Disc One consists mostly of action and sci-fi titles, but it ends with a quality selection of the Sam Sherman produced Independent International Pictures' grinders and horror schlock. I'm down for this, since his Al Adamson film trailers (<i>Satan’s Sadists, Blood Of Ghastly Horror</i>, etc.) were some of the best of their time. Disc Two serves up a steaming pile of Seventies/Eighties horror and gore followed by even more retardedness in the form of old television adverts. And let’s not forget that radio spots CD included as well. So exhaustive in size and scope that the good outweighs the bad tenfold. There are even a couple of commentary tracks for you to bop between, to help make this a learning experience as well. </div><div><br /></div><div><b> 5. 42nd Street Forever Vol. 5: Alamo Drafthouse Cinema - DVD (<a href="https://www.grindhousedatabase.com/index.php/42nd_Street_Forever_-_Vol._5:_The_Alamo_Drafthouse_Experience" target="_blank">Synapse Films</a>)
</b>And to wrap this up all tidy-like, I’m just gonna’ say the last few 42nd Street... discs have just gotten better and better. They’re still just as varied as ever, running the gamut of horror, comedy and the usual sexplo-blaxplo-slut-fu-a-go-go, but all the while intertwining them with drive-in adverts and fast food cheap sells. The trailers always look pristine (when compared to the red hued, gone-to-vinegar joints elsewhere on this list), if that’s the deal-sealer for you cinephiles out there. There’s been some great commentary tracks on the last couple outings (Tony Timpone of Fango on volume 4), but what really digs into me with this edition is the running dialog with the folks behind the Alamo Drafthouse theater programming. These guys know their shit well and obsess over it down in Austin. A goldmine of off color stories and sick laffs. It doesn’t hurt that I used to work with one of the monkeys involved (Zack Carlson)…or that he’s one of the powerhouses behind the recent punk on film book I’m shamelessly gonna’ start plugging any</div><div>day/hour/minute now…</div><div><a href="https://www.grindhousedatabase.com/index.php/Destroy_All_Movies!!!_The_Complete_Guide_To_Punks_on_Film"> Punk Book Link</a></div>Crankenstienhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09593719076720443439noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3851435459899615804.post-48891505223441616412020-10-10T01:58:00.003-07:002020-10-10T01:58:49.662-07:00Update. 2020- THE APOCALYPSE or Quarantine brought to by Q-anon and the Dale Gribble Beast.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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It's been a long long long long while since I've written a movie review. I've always feared this nightmare we're all trapped in right now. I listened to that Scorps Winds of Change Podcast and now I'm sort of convinced that Putin found a sucker to ignite the flame of fascism, through a an orange circus peanut, fast food clown psychopath who is so spineless and thirsty that he sold out this country and started the systematic dismantling of the USA. <div><br /></div><div>I wish I wasn't getting all Neal Breen/ 4 Chan/ Mad Max all over your lap. Goat and I have discussed this shit privately through texts (which of course are not so private).</div><div><br /></div><div>Perhaps our readers out there don't really know this but I was hurt by what went down with the Deep Red re-animation and subsequent nose dive. Ever since I ditched FB, I lost all contact with my Deep Red pals. Internet relationships are mainly short-term or maybe altogether bullshit. Oh yeah and Some dude named Steve turned into a fucking Trump troll.</div><div><br /></div><div><span> <span> </span></span>This new normal is yet another thing I'm choosing to resist and I have to go be a front line worker on no hazzard pay, thanks blood thirsty Wall Street ghouls! I've always vented at society through my reviews. I'll put it this way, when I moved to Nashville and I fell in love and hate with the city. The love was all at the Willie Nelson Museum, I met some of the nicest, coolest people in my life.They supported my art, encouraged me and appreciated my talent. The hatred was all directed at Franklin Tenn, one of the blandest, uptight and or trashy suburbs. Trump-gana-stan if you will. Major Culture shock!</div><div>The friends I made in the land of Hot Chicken and Country Music I will always treasure. I met my best pal Bobby Hazzard, whom I started a Trick of Treat podcast with you may be familiar with there .<a href="https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/spring-break-forever-2/spring-break-forever/e/53822192?autoplay=true">CHECK IT.</a> </div><div><br /><span> </span>So many Blu-ray/ DVD gore movie companies are restoring lost treasures, in the past only found in dingy, crumbled up, tattered, stapled zines of the 80's written by ahead of their time figures like Rick Sullivan, who inspired Chas Balun, Bob Martin of original Fango fame, Michael Weldon and Bill Landis. These are my Monumental hall of famers to speak in sports terms. Fab 5/ Stones/ Blue Cheer/Ramones with more pot soaked counter culture waste-oids we all should admire and aspire to be.</div><div><span> </span>So I wanted to showcase movies from the last few years that we've reviewed by digging out the archives, clearing out the cobwebs. Some have still not surfaced like THE LADIES CLUB and BRAIN WASH/AKA CIRCLE OF POWER. So if you're reading "Wink Wink". The Dolphin is in the Jacuzzi, Say no more! I also put in BrainWash in the Vinegar Syndrome suggestion box.</div><div><br />
<a href="http://www.theaterofguts.com/2013/12/come-and-see.html"><span style="color: red;">COME AND SEE REVIEW</span></a><br />
<br />
<a href="https://www.diabolikdvd.com/product/come-and-see-criterion-blu-ray/"><span style="color: lime;">WHO RE-RELEASED IT?</span></a><br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.theaterofguts.com/2012/10/the-severed-arm_2132.html">SEVERED ARM</a></div><div><br /></div><div>More to come later.</div><div><br />
<br />
<br /></div>Crankenstienhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09593719076720443439noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3851435459899615804.post-6535922729939921682019-06-14T00:00:00.000-07:002019-06-14T00:00:08.687-07:00Deep Red Deluxe<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<!--StartFragment-->
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiiOGRlvOWXjBRZh9N4MtEdmoDk_klVrOWr6ksP3TvmW1_WTilY8GbOxMUbyBmPwhTPNjj_FgUvZOIxJnrahXizyNBUWy9j4DggFi4vx22yZ0ZeQ-RkH8vQiQOeV5b8NYpmC5_34XURh72u/s1600/DEEP+RED+DELUXE.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiiOGRlvOWXjBRZh9N4MtEdmoDk_klVrOWr6ksP3TvmW1_WTilY8GbOxMUbyBmPwhTPNjj_FgUvZOIxJnrahXizyNBUWy9j4DggFi4vx22yZ0ZeQ-RkH8vQiQOeV5b8NYpmC5_34XURh72u/s320/DEEP+RED+DELUXE.jpg" width="282" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="font-size: medium;">Deep Red Deluxe compiled by
Chas Balun (1991).</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">Just like the famed
Skunkape trailer for Contamination that I’m about to paraphrase goes “You’ve
seen Son of Deep Red Deluxe and you’ve seen Bride of Deep Red, but have you
seen the one that started it all”? This time to procure a rare copy of this
tape, I excavated the Atari E.T. landfill, ran over some hipsters with a
bulldozer and low and behold this video dupe fell into my lap. Oh, and I also
wrassled with one of those scissor wielding Hands Across America soulless
doppelgangers. And lastly I bargained with the Asian man from Hellraiser that sells
the Lament Configuration and he scored me this mind bender.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H9h0kUcfGBM">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H9h0kUcfGBM</a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">As you can tell, I was
maimed in the accident, my limbs were torn off! I had some robot arm technology
(used in Empire Strikes Back) performed by an android surgeon and he hooked me
up with these handy dandy new didjits. So that’s why it took 3 years to write
this.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">Once you pop in the tape
into the metaphorical VCR It emerges from a door of TV static with a blindingly
white trailer for John Carpenter’s The Thing. That aforementioned flick has a
noggin scratching tagline, I overlooked before that says “Man is the warmest
place to hide”. So, we’re just here to be split open pig on a spit roast style
and “Turduckened Taun Taun style?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEB9amHnCofCh2ir_NIi20fhw2lVYjJrIMSP3uP4G_2JeEMzVCMnjUXtLcjIidEfyS58nHrLBbzmaKUry9nES3AypHngBdbTNn-loZtxf-QCgm0le9yAZmDCzZh4pOwYqyXBNfBTmZSxCY/s1600/il_794xN.855695518_omqj.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEB9amHnCofCh2ir_NIi20fhw2lVYjJrIMSP3uP4G_2JeEMzVCMnjUXtLcjIidEfyS58nHrLBbzmaKUry9nES3AypHngBdbTNn-loZtxf-QCgm0le9yAZmDCzZh4pOwYqyXBNfBTmZSxCY/s320/il_794xN.855695518_omqj.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I'm so offended!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">The Dr. Butcher trailer is
another highlight, it features a trailer voice champion, like Don Lafontaine
and Percy Rodriguez (the voice of the Loc-Nar) and that’s the criminally under
mentioned Adolph Caezar. Adolph is most famous as the Dawn and Day of the Dead
trailer voice. He’s also an acclaimed actor in his own right who appeared in
The Color Purple and A Soldier’s Story. During the Dr. Butcher trailer, they
even play that 8-bit style casio music by Walter Sear from the Snuff Maximus
cut.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2FDJJo3QMpC6_IWnLgb0RFeuWeEwf3Mlv4imDwLweRfU8LyaJ6-n3TtNnsRUWNhddVA4EtDvJKoqLoIi5xUrM-z7ibyH6TtRBU6NvSM21PVuaAK_sPA-j-N-DJH7kMucGXMfaF7zl1xRr/s1600/Screen+Shot+2019-05-13+at+12.32.46+AM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="271" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2FDJJo3QMpC6_IWnLgb0RFeuWeEwf3Mlv4imDwLweRfU8LyaJ6-n3TtNnsRUWNhddVA4EtDvJKoqLoIi5xUrM-z7ibyH6TtRBU6NvSM21PVuaAK_sPA-j-N-DJH7kMucGXMfaF7zl1xRr/s320/Screen+Shot+2019-05-13+at+12.32.46+AM.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Remember this Intellivision Dr. Butcher Micro-Surgeon edition?<br />
<br /></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">I’m getting all kinds of
flashbacks of the 9</span><sup>th</sup><span style="font-size: small;"> grade when I first ordered Deep Red Alert #1
from Fantaco, because this tape is the visual equivalent of that issue! There's even a Jim Van Bebber promo reel ad in that zine (most of that cassette is included on this one, so it's a bargain)!</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">Prior to Jim Van Bebber’s
film Manson Family eventually being released on Blu-ray by Severin,
this was thee only way you could see a trailer for Charlies Family. It was also
released in illustrated script form by Creation books in the UK. I enjoyed it
as a solid parody of the Laurence Merrick Manson documentary (which it lifts whole
re-enactments from). Check out the review for the <a href="http://www.theaterofguts.com/2016/03/manson.html">Manson</a> film here. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgB3u1cxVBzj8PpfXwMCokixmGRpTxgbcl0ojh9upN_blCi7Jr5Lubc96JSbt-EvXbfobePRU6PevnY_SRG9I9zEjnATzmEJg6U9ufdxyBVNJCZ4Rom4mETYKutxp-PU9OF9m4a76DX4WpL/s1600/Screen+Shot+2019-05-14+at+12.39.54+AM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="259" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgB3u1cxVBzj8PpfXwMCokixmGRpTxgbcl0ojh9upN_blCi7Jr5Lubc96JSbt-EvXbfobePRU6PevnY_SRG9I9zEjnATzmEJg6U9ufdxyBVNJCZ4Rom4mETYKutxp-PU9OF9m4a76DX4WpL/s320/Screen+Shot+2019-05-14+at+12.39.54+AM.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">No room for me in that new Tarantino Manson flick?</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">Marcello Games who plays
Charlie and was in one quick moment in Deadbeat at Dawn and vanished before the
film was completed. The same thing apparently happened to the actor in Roadkill
: The Last Days of John Martin. Van Bebber went through miles of hell to get
the film off the ground and it’s commendable. There's something going on with him lately and noone but the man himself can figure it out and I'm not going to try to either.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">This VHS compilation
might’ve knocked Mad Ron’s Prevues down a peg, had Chas not dubbed trailers
from that aforementioned tape he sold separately into this new mix. How can I
tell? The shroud of Happy Goldsplatt is hand spliced in periodically.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifxTONUYr0DfGt6xYmDukorHGUg4loscgTNZajB9CxoNc7MpgTDPRM6r69ONY0tcJ0eFfaPqYI11pP4bhpO-ySdQeFPW6mbhmtE8cVl3vjMZTw2XoG6o1gKxbspazbXZUipCv9GANoDbKR/s1600/Screen+Shot+2019-05-16+at+2.27.46+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="252" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifxTONUYr0DfGt6xYmDukorHGUg4loscgTNZajB9CxoNc7MpgTDPRM6r69ONY0tcJ0eFfaPqYI11pP4bhpO-ySdQeFPW6mbhmtE8cVl3vjMZTw2XoG6o1gKxbspazbXZUipCv9GANoDbKR/s320/Screen+Shot+2019-05-16+at+2.27.46+PM.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My Fuggin Weeny fell off again!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">The Martin trailer is a
great one and shows the flashback footage from the final cut in color.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">Patton Oswalt is constantly
complaining about how Criterion should re-release that Romero classic with
extra features and I couldn’t agree more.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEgYNRIoq324Mbn63T8Z9ESksQtlWnR7YAhJF6LIqN5s8drh8nTA-84uiK55IBFRMp2mTJXnUryNUWGOMOlAuqCiZw1kQXO4bpwgs5TRR67Rr-zdRnWl5l5EhGq26tZfykvOjuvgg21pjl/s1600/Screen+Shot+2019-05-14+at+12.36.09+AM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="245" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEgYNRIoq324Mbn63T8Z9ESksQtlWnR7YAhJF6LIqN5s8drh8nTA-84uiK55IBFRMp2mTJXnUryNUWGOMOlAuqCiZw1kQXO4bpwgs5TRR67Rr-zdRnWl5l5EhGq26tZfykvOjuvgg21pjl/s320/Screen+Shot+2019-05-14+at+12.36.09+AM.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Criterion will put out Tiny Furniture but not add this one to their roster?</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">Balun and Van Bebber’s
trailer for the unreleased Chunkblower is here once again. If only that one was
funded to completion. Claude the gear jammin, meathook swingin CB radio psycho
could’ve gone down in history as a cross between Red Sovine and Leatherface,
but sadly only the trailer remains. </span><span style="font-size: small;">His Krueger-esque quip is
“There is no why”!</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfizru8GVX9Diu5sdL9a1zZjpxnJsRcuBQ0Sk3StkGTgz-AkwndxgGzj5WQhLQiqqfFeebWoAiAxUlxfx6uRwA_4zxjp1GSLrVhKlSFr1xUMz7DKEludfSmu3wbUztSXuWaodXUKHjTbgi/s1600/Screen+Shot+2019-05-16+at+2.45.44+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="255" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfizru8GVX9Diu5sdL9a1zZjpxnJsRcuBQ0Sk3StkGTgz-AkwndxgGzj5WQhLQiqqfFeebWoAiAxUlxfx6uRwA_4zxjp1GSLrVhKlSFr1xUMz7DKEludfSmu3wbUztSXuWaodXUKHjTbgi/s320/Screen+Shot+2019-05-16+at+2.45.44+PM.png" width="320" /></a></div>
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">Three on a Meathook is a
trailer and film that sadly never surpasses the great title of that dull
splatter flick. We get a segment of pre Miramax copyrighted Jackie Chan and or
Chinese action cinematic gun and chop em up battles.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">The quality and VHS haze
makes me grateful but also sad that most of this is up on YT or Amazon in
superior HD format.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">Some sadistically demented
and just plain nasty water sports and Japanese sex footage set to "Ride of the Valkyries" is here for your viewing pleasure. I like the repeated image of a
tied up woman in a cage hurled off a building (it’s out there man)! Make sure
you light up for maximum viewing!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjN0jmt6dAzhJ70H9oiU8Dk5Nyt997RPyd1V4WiYU-PHwjhr13CixVeCk9f98JvMif4q2JX-OkHoffFo4tAdgvvOSEqUubwqznjywntdKnP7eoFptbgC1PW3Piiuedt_or2QpNV4gNNhvbA/s1600/Screen+Shot+2019-05-14+at+12.43.57+AM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="196" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjN0jmt6dAzhJ70H9oiU8Dk5Nyt997RPyd1V4WiYU-PHwjhr13CixVeCk9f98JvMif4q2JX-OkHoffFo4tAdgvvOSEqUubwqznjywntdKnP7eoFptbgC1PW3Piiuedt_or2QpNV4gNNhvbA/s320/Screen+Shot+2019-05-14+at+12.43.57+AM.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I'm confused!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">More Mad Ron stolen moments
( Thankfully Chas’ head never erupted in brain matter and skull cavity
fragments, like that dude who booted the end of video).</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">He chose Torso and Deep Red
just before some choice clips of Mad Dr of Blood island.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">Here we get the unfiltered
version of the Skinny Puppy vid for "Warlock" that uses footage from a trillion
horror movies. Someone on YT actually remixed the video to update it in HD.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">If you don’t know the
footage they used like Bad Taste or Henry, turn in your horror nerd card
forever. It’s fun to see how many you can name.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8pJGY4UtZwClNEBM5yfDUVYrizSRIEOWFHV72ytUDF_c8xb5aNWS_BnhVGGUnPYaLPaWW5kROd_DIEUhqWR8YFUozMXlplPESciujwYgyIsfMD7yfRY-cP5BxE3nlI61EElIZE5XiduHb/s1600/Screen+Shot+2019-05-16+at+3.24.02+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="262" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8pJGY4UtZwClNEBM5yfDUVYrizSRIEOWFHV72ytUDF_c8xb5aNWS_BnhVGGUnPYaLPaWW5kROd_DIEUhqWR8YFUozMXlplPESciujwYgyIsfMD7yfRY-cP5BxE3nlI61EElIZE5XiduHb/s320/Screen+Shot+2019-05-16+at+3.24.02+PM.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
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There's an exploitive local news 2 part segment about how horror films warp teens minds and Chas is interviewed. Most of the interviews are with real kids just after they went to see Hellraiser 2 in the theater. I'm glad my parents never saw this expose about how kids get desensitized because they're able to rent gore movies without adult consent. I snuck watched most of my favorite horror classics!</div>
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<o:p><span style="font-size: small;">They also interview Linnea Quigley and Brian Yuzna. Quigley thinks it's bad for kids to see them at an early age. The most appalling scene is where they get a family health center guy (who probably works for Trump now) to show a clip of Ted Bundy. He basically says that if you watch horror movies you'll turn into a serial killer! A lot of that bullshit propaganda was going on up until the early aughts.</span></o:p></div>
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<o:p><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></o:p>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMfn_4lm6klpPrFLX-HtGg-X3iztC933djIc73TbGWTpJhsg8NKo_4RN1NQ7xC8RRbJGUpy54YA7nClRu3pklWofjVAE8teVPZYZbtux_adKnU9ZgBUBB8vGnjo_KzU5YMviNaSC2Btu3q/s1600/Screen+Shot+2019-05-16+at+2.49.12+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="258" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMfn_4lm6klpPrFLX-HtGg-X3iztC933djIc73TbGWTpJhsg8NKo_4RN1NQ7xC8RRbJGUpy54YA7nClRu3pklWofjVAE8teVPZYZbtux_adKnU9ZgBUBB8vGnjo_KzU5YMviNaSC2Btu3q/s320/Screen+Shot+2019-05-16+at+2.49.12+PM.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">there's that accurate journalism for ya!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<o:p><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></o:p>
<o:p><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></o:p></div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRwr-SeiQUNBt0piTDtq2sazevtzfA2azN3Grzhbxp5o3KV2UpGgEaKfs-l2CGmCwjJSBJv-CKabx2AZOdCsW4ePpOl18ZIzcVrATGpRI8y139BXvrOe1UZ-PMkVvXGiO7Qd5OEaZx9QlD/s1600/Screen+Shot+2019-05-16+at+2.48.58+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="257" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRwr-SeiQUNBt0piTDtq2sazevtzfA2azN3Grzhbxp5o3KV2UpGgEaKfs-l2CGmCwjJSBJv-CKabx2AZOdCsW4ePpOl18ZIzcVrATGpRI8y139BXvrOe1UZ-PMkVvXGiO7Qd5OEaZx9QlD/s320/Screen+Shot+2019-05-16+at+2.48.58+PM.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">R.I.P. videostores </td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<o:p><span style="font-size: small;">More gratuitous Argento and Fulci trailers are on here even if they are a welcome sight. I have yet to watch that recent Suspiria remake and I'm dreading it. A trailer for The Nesting is here (they do a great job making the movie look good, but I didn't really like the end result). Shadows Run Black (which is a Troma movie) is on prime in HD and Walking The Edge was super boring. The cast in that aforementioned film has Joe Spinell and Robert Forster but it didn't add up to much sadly. Then there's "What Waits Below" and Night School, which I bought from Warner Archives. that last film I remember seeing in flashes on WDZL. All I recalled about it was there was a waitresses decapitated head in a soup pot and people were eating it. This ghastly, through ally enjoyable trip down memory lane is just one of 3 party tapes I've reviewed in the past. They don't make em like this anymore.</span></o:p></div>
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<o:p><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></o:p></div>
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<o:p><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></o:p></div>
<!--EndFragment--><br />Crankenstienhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09593719076720443439noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3851435459899615804.post-35767580394951944392019-05-12T23:35:00.001-07:002019-05-12T23:35:42.831-07:00Losin' It <div class="MsoNormal">
<sub><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></sub>
<sub><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></sub>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3aI9rEmC3OqbPEGtY2oVfeQD8Nkq3Zb1f0TfHMaqkqaWUtzoPckX4Bmy0G388gPzrIDD7tZyDhwxGstvdVRI-SEe9tOIf4a44beNfn5h28huf_g2Akphy5kTdSwbX8LtDHbaOEoJ4mzeZ/s1600/losin-it.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3aI9rEmC3OqbPEGtY2oVfeQD8Nkq3Zb1f0TfHMaqkqaWUtzoPckX4Bmy0G388gPzrIDD7tZyDhwxGstvdVRI-SEe9tOIf4a44beNfn5h28huf_g2Akphy5kTdSwbX8LtDHbaOEoJ4mzeZ/s400/losin-it.jpg" width="270" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<sub><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></sub>
<sub><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: x-small;">Losin' It! Directed By Curtis Hanson, starring a bunch of 80's dudes (1983).<o:p></o:p></span></sub><br />
<sub><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></sub></div>
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<sub><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: x-small;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>After a long assed hiatus, It’s back to the
salt mine or grindstone. Basically, it’s back to bitching about shit online in
the guise of a film critic like Gene Shalit, or Joel Siegel who most of the public
is aware that they are indeed the same human scumbag. Or was that something I saw on
The Dana Carvey Show?<o:p></o:p></span></sub><br />
<sub><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></sub></div>
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<sub><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: x-small;">I
usually go out of my way to tackle a fun filled week that celebrates a basic
cable bleached bimbo and a whiny, squinty eyed guy named Gilbert, but I dropped
the ball and didn’t plan ahead. I’m going to attempt to re-animate this blog
but it’s been a struggle to want to return to the blank word document. The
reason being is that I don’t enjoy it as much as drawing anymore. I needed to
clear out some of these cobwebs and get back into the repetition. If you’re
jonesing for some teen sex comedy wacky hijinx then look no further than Mike
McBeardo’s latest book Teen Movie Hell. <a href="https://www.teenmoviehell.com/">https://www.teenmoviehell.com/</a><o:p></o:p></span></sub><br />
<sub><br /></sub>
<sub><br /></sub></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: x-small; vertical-align: sub;">I moved out of The South, which is already a
big improvement. I used to take a highway in Tenn that had a fucking Nathan
Bedford Forrest statue! Someone, I’m happy to say covered it in pink bubblegum
colored paint that hasn’t washed off. They even talked about it on a John Oliver episode. I’m back to the Bay Area, where I’m
readjusting to old habits and settling in. I'll eventually do some field reporting at the Mission Drafthouse in Frisco (people hate it when you call it that)!</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: x-small;">To be honest, after the new
Deep Red came out I was pretty hurt that I wasn’t included but I’m not going to
rip open old wounds, I’ll just move forward. If you haven’t noticed there’s
been a serious lack of the old roster of Deep Red writers reviewing on this site. Most of
their work has evolved beyond and hardly anyone is keen on giving
away their opinions for free online anymore. But why should they? Blogging is
completely irrelevant. I’ve always been a technophobe and spouting gibberish
online isn’t gratifying to me anymore.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: x-small;">However, I got to exorcise
some of these demonic brain clouds and go forth at least for today. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: x-small;">So, on with the review
already!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfFoDKQiEi7CgzCRKpKsRLH-NN-SN-lc3GUVOvn3Rcbfq0PqpWoB1VbHZ6XG0hHrUcozXG_GgJ3qf8e-LRUKeOt7oKHG8dcQR_YAl9a2wOxw85YtUmkBLal0QU2JUAOw70BWG6it3jW4jM/s1600/The_Comedy_Channel_logo.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfFoDKQiEi7CgzCRKpKsRLH-NN-SN-lc3GUVOvn3Rcbfq0PqpWoB1VbHZ6XG0hHrUcozXG_GgJ3qf8e-LRUKeOt7oKHG8dcQR_YAl9a2wOxw85YtUmkBLal0QU2JUAOw70BWG6it3jW4jM/s400/The_Comedy_Channel_logo.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">the Pre-South Park Comedy Central.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: x-small;">My sister and I grew up
with Comedy Central (or The Comedy Channel in the beginning) and all during our youth, this movie was repeatedly shown
in cut form. In fact, we both remember feeling scuzzy after finally viewing it
unedited. That’s only because we’d seen the “PG during the day” edit. This
one gets better with age and YES, in today’s uber PC millennial universe it’s
fucking racist. But fuck that shit, don’t go in with that mentality because it’s
set in the 50s and was filmed in the 80s like all great combos those 2 decades
through ally compliment each other, just like a Stray Cats tune. I was flabbergasted when I discovered that Curtin Hanson director of The Arousers (which remains one of our most viewed reviews) with Tab Hunter, also helmed this raunchy sex comedy. In fact I discovered that Curtis Hanson was involved in many of my favorite flicks. He started off clumsy with The Dunwich Horror (I'm sorry but that movie is sloppy at best). It worked to his advantage though in getting acquainted with Roger Corman. He wrote White Dog, Silent Partner (which has the only death scene caused by a fish tank) and Never Cry Wolf, a Disney movie against corporate greed! More people should be aware of this talented fellow.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_OTcqQDR_tgaqb6t_ptgu5yRsKJdXPvP0mk1pIWUMzMs4aP1ISmlorbknj0U96XC15P8oYIU8_nH_NPKQGehTazUXBBr3JfE5sMA7djpRMD4iKk5azOPZqHM31vcPTiFGfSSaN1XKmt7d/s1600/Screen+Shot+2019-04-15+at+12.38.17+AM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="241" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_OTcqQDR_tgaqb6t_ptgu5yRsKJdXPvP0mk1pIWUMzMs4aP1ISmlorbknj0U96XC15P8oYIU8_nH_NPKQGehTazUXBBr3JfE5sMA7djpRMD4iKk5azOPZqHM31vcPTiFGfSSaN1XKmt7d/s320/Screen+Shot+2019-04-15+at+12.38.17+AM.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I'm trying to illustrate an invisible mustache!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: x-small;">Dave (Jackie Earl Haley’s
finest role) is a horny creep and his little brother Wimp (or Wendell), is a
preteen conman selling homework to students out of his locker. The only reason
the kid tags along is to buy illegal fireworks. John P. Navin, who has this
Billy Jacoby/ Alfred E. Neuman quality left Hollywood for good in the early 90’s
sadly. And Jackie Earl Haley went onto to recent roles like Rorschach in The Watchmen and The Terror on The Tick.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEAlqP8_GXHcES1m-gaP2rChmHyIaowE325QMfHNKjH3XFixI85d7HwDoAL_W2tTYnIi91X2x9r_RKP4a5-z6FNYh8RoeVuSZrGyJRvb5SeSjGE3kTU0228E-NN2tFmHinkBuYEF3mjFhs/s1600/Losin-It-John-P-Navin.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="206" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEAlqP8_GXHcES1m-gaP2rChmHyIaowE325QMfHNKjH3XFixI85d7HwDoAL_W2tTYnIi91X2x9r_RKP4a5-z6FNYh8RoeVuSZrGyJRvb5SeSjGE3kTU0228E-NN2tFmHinkBuYEF3mjFhs/s320/Losin-It-John-P-Navin.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">last known photo.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: x-small;">The oldies songs on the
soundtrack are pretty good and most likely the first time I was exposed to
them. The two worst actors in the movie are the most famous -Tom Cruise (who didn’t
become a scientologist till the late 90s) and Shelly Long. Along for the ride
is John Stockwell from Christine and My Science Project, he mentions that he wants
to go just to check out the donkey show! <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> Later on he gets into a horrifying prison situation.</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: x-small;">Dave is on the prowl for
Spanish Fly, which is of course doesn’t exist, but it’s awesome watching him
almost get his head blown off with a shotgun after he pisses off the
pharmacist! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: x-small;">Henry Darrow who plays the
corrupt sheriff is menacing and effective. He mainly worked in TV, but would’ve
made a good character actor.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: georgia, "times new roman", serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: georgia, "times new roman", serif; font-size: x-small;">James Victor who is barely noticeable
as the divorce lawyer was in many action flicks like Rolling Thunder, one of my
all time favs.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: x-small;">The way they depict Tijuana
is pretty exaggerated and later on reminded me of Hardcore with George C. Scott. That flick had a similar skeeviness in the way they have the attractive girls in the bar to hook you in off the street and once you get behind the
curtain the gnarly, decrepit whores are what you end up with. I like how one
hooker asks “Did you remember to bring your dick”?<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhddDSBGcAwePxl9dsaNhqKY9fgEPZOFhqacT0ar9By9XelTnBBFr-Fdo70KrAbm8OvSo9489ykVRvKzNBJuc1yhnR4VCh13kAg4giKIQOJ8sHE9O0wbig7T5qCRmW8pX4Gzie70SCX0UEV/s1600/Screen+Shot+2019-04-15+at+12.39.22+AM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhddDSBGcAwePxl9dsaNhqKY9fgEPZOFhqacT0ar9By9XelTnBBFr-Fdo70KrAbm8OvSo9489ykVRvKzNBJuc1yhnR4VCh13kAg4giKIQOJ8sHE9O0wbig7T5qCRmW8pX4Gzie70SCX0UEV/s320/Screen+Shot+2019-04-15+at+12.39.22+AM.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">just having an average weekend.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: x-small;">The burlesque sunglasses
wearing piano player </span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: x-small;">sings sleazy songs and that
bar, besides the strong arming customers into sleeping with ugly women upstairs, the nightclub looks pretty fun. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXjCMO3_WrtKCytXW21TWZ1on0h9YZpbbL9hMMNXmVllN-qb6LKcfcWLXV_7JYDNLy6igIEtCwaWCatD8xrvy-1pNbzjLfElNNz38M3hgsdjMAr4uyl3bWKc8dfXE0wqxu-qXS7wezatUo/s1600/Screen+Shot+2019-04-15+at+12.24.52+AM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXjCMO3_WrtKCytXW21TWZ1on0h9YZpbbL9hMMNXmVllN-qb6LKcfcWLXV_7JYDNLy6igIEtCwaWCatD8xrvy-1pNbzjLfElNNz38M3hgsdjMAr4uyl3bWKc8dfXE0wqxu-qXS7wezatUo/s320/Screen+Shot+2019-04-15+at+12.24.52+AM.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Honk if you're horny.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: x-small;">Santos Morales plays the
Tonga Lei doorman. I love how he keeps screaming “You have my word as a
gentleman!” and when Shelly Long asks where to get a quiet drink, he calms down
his demeanor but basically says the same spiel only softer. Morales was in
Hamburger The Movie and Scarface!</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: x-small;">I’ve never been to Mexico
but don’t let this movie form your opinion about what it’s like there. It gets
pretty hostile toward the last 20 mins for the boys but they manage to make it out pretty well. This film is much better than I remembered it, Highly Recommended.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgng_ozpmMFcQolaGQDAJHQ9Ov2mmj0z823DrVf3s-jmMMO0sfBBxVw513qsxt5osnMGbgmXpa03XUe_YdqKi_n9W0HzEe01H6GMlYcmbGDneJHkaUCTQ0-B7SwDdLdmWnPR6kiakujhCfQ/s1600/Screen+Shot+2019-04-15+at+12.14.11+AM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="239" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgng_ozpmMFcQolaGQDAJHQ9Ov2mmj0z823DrVf3s-jmMMO0sfBBxVw513qsxt5osnMGbgmXpa03XUe_YdqKi_n9W0HzEe01H6GMlYcmbGDneJHkaUCTQ0-B7SwDdLdmWnPR6kiakujhCfQ/s320/Screen+Shot+2019-04-15+at+12.14.11+AM.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Scientology is not a con, you have my word as a gentlemen!</td></tr>
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Crankenstienhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09593719076720443439noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3851435459899615804.post-56266156543381378072018-10-30T00:00:00.000-07:002018-10-30T00:00:07.934-07:00The Entity<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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Name="List Number 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="10" QFormat="true" Name="Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Closing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Signature"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Default Paragraph Font"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Message Header"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="11" QFormat="true" Name="Subtitle"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Salutation"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Date"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text First Indent"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text First Indent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Block Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Hyperlink"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="FollowedHyperlink"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="22" QFormat="true" Name="Strong"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="20" QFormat="true" Name="Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Document Map"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Plain Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="E-mail Signature"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Top of Form"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Bottom of Form"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal (Web)"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Acronym"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Address"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Cite"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Code"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Definition"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Keyboard"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Preformatted"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Sample"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Typewriter"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Variable"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal Table"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="annotation subject"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="No List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Contemporary"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Elegant"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Professional"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Subtle 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Subtle 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Balloon Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="Table Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Theme"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Placeholder Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" QFormat="true" Name="No Spacing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Revision"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="34" QFormat="true"
Name="List Paragraph"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="29" QFormat="true" Name="Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="30" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Bibliography"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="TOC Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="41" Name="Plain Table 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="42" Name="Plain Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="43" Name="Plain Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="44" Name="Plain Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="45" Name="Plain Table 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="40" Name="Grid Table Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="Grid Table 1 Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="List Table 1 Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="List Table 6 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="List Table 7 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="List Table 7 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="List Table 7 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 3"/>
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<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzEvNixb-Syr2riH5k8EEDeS8fa7Qxn_drQYg_Q7cBeb01TbMxt8mI7c6vrS74XO8Vo5YjqRzjs3D80kJ24O4lGXMbbxXEcc02lhM5MDwxxUIqc-JCUeKRSFoswsKDUB23NH_uNrKX7bP4/s1600/The-Entity-Poster.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzEvNixb-Syr2riH5k8EEDeS8fa7Qxn_drQYg_Q7cBeb01TbMxt8mI7c6vrS74XO8Vo5YjqRzjs3D80kJ24O4lGXMbbxXEcc02lhM5MDwxxUIqc-JCUeKRSFoswsKDUB23NH_uNrKX7bP4/s400/The-Entity-Poster.jpg" width="256" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<b>The Entity Directed by Sidney J. Fury, Starring Barbara Hershey (1982).<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This movie from 82 has aged well in the era of the #metoo
movement. Think about it, a ghost or demon with the power to sexually assault a
female, get away with it and because there’s no traces of anyone, it makes the
victim look bat shit crazy! It’s terrifying! I’m obsessed with this allegedly
true tale so much that I even bought the novel by Frank De Felita and was captivated by
it. It's based on Doris Bither case, which happened in Culver City, Ca, which apparently was never solved. Barbara Hershey delivers one of her most incredible acting performances as
protagonist Carla Moran, De Felita's pseudonym for Doris. I even found the
book at a thrift store and was thoroughly entranced by the source material.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Carla (Hershey) is not
only repeatedly raped by the spectre, while in the bath or in front of her frightened
boyfriend played by Alex Rocco, but in front of her kids as well. This movie is ghastly,
eerie and fucked up! The sense of dread and fear never lets up, at least for me. From the perspective of the outside, Hershey’s character
seems like a wacko and all of these disturbing events could only exist in her
mind at first, but the audience witnesses all these frightening attacks as well and we believe
the victim. Later on, the entity reveals itself to others around her, but the
most frightening aspect of this film is that no one can stop this nightmare.
Right now I see it as an allegory of Republicans destroying every facet of
normalcy, it continues on with no signs of stopping and it’s sickening. If this
were released in theaters now, I’m convinced that the patriarchy, in the age of
Trump would side with the sexual predator ghost as the real victim!<o:p></o:p><br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixsCzcgvKT_rv8TaQ0EZoK2rutm1hqe3URW8g7Rb-WdG5joOkTzkKsjI9okrXjMhaRJDYz-SM5mYSnp5V6FBXKzyaER-eRERq9KAUsYhTKkOowDSB0PJCT_z82_-7GRKA-eM_GhPyfM1eu/s1600/Screen+Shot+2018-10-20+at+12.07.07+PM.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="142" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixsCzcgvKT_rv8TaQ0EZoK2rutm1hqe3URW8g7Rb-WdG5joOkTzkKsjI9okrXjMhaRJDYz-SM5mYSnp5V6FBXKzyaER-eRERq9KAUsYhTKkOowDSB0PJCT_z82_-7GRKA-eM_GhPyfM1eu/s320/Screen+Shot+2018-10-20+at+12.07.07+PM.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">if that's what's going on in 2018, leave me in the 80's.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Carla is on edge and helpless to defend herself from an
invisible sexual demonic force. I get this unnerving reaction, the
Charles Bernstein score really ramps up the tension. In Poltergeist, you buy
the laughable premise that a haunted house is dominating a family’s suburban
safe haven and its commitment to their ultimate destruction resonates so much
so, that it works. You must buy the premise of both films to work.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWI5sKhFOBGR-q9OuY-C1dvT566WLhTW3UaTg0koh8jOPyTBQlzjQ0QOPGXwQjBeHco49d8Q9IRXrFQq-EbMkRIJmVxaZiF71Ob9WuTHnEyW26kdSvhcf_IphtvdO8nW1TJqGsxmFXzAhP/s1600/poltergeist2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="258" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWI5sKhFOBGR-q9OuY-C1dvT566WLhTW3UaTg0koh8jOPyTBQlzjQ0QOPGXwQjBeHco49d8Q9IRXrFQq-EbMkRIJmVxaZiF71Ob9WuTHnEyW26kdSvhcf_IphtvdO8nW1TJqGsxmFXzAhP/s320/poltergeist2.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">the vile Orange vagina reminds me of something presidential.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
Carla gets bruises all over her body from the vicious sexual
attacks. Stan Winston created the indented breasts that rise and appear as if
they’re being squeezed against her will. Ron Silver who plays the doctor
doesn’t really believe her and chalks it up to hysteria. He does prescribe her
anxiety meds and tells her to take a bath, but how can she feel safe, when
that’s exactly where the last encounter occurred.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidnFtiF_xNcs_sskdXk9HCZmZNqFl8wH-WEKe0i-Ih0QLOzK8GrRZ25SkswyMW3VOkguWC2VNAdhM9XqTBa-muecvptgD7kG7SeWfBwsdEPnE5ufQnz-fX5TkEyjG_opWArbEYxZq3fLnq/s1600/Screen+Shot+2018-10-18+at+5.40.16+PM.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="144" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidnFtiF_xNcs_sskdXk9HCZmZNqFl8wH-WEKe0i-Ih0QLOzK8GrRZ25SkswyMW3VOkguWC2VNAdhM9XqTBa-muecvptgD7kG7SeWfBwsdEPnE5ufQnz-fX5TkEyjG_opWArbEYxZq3fLnq/s320/Screen+Shot+2018-10-18+at+5.40.16+PM.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Gawwwd I just shit my britches!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
When the demon visits her, there’s a chugging nightmarish
guitar chord or banging on piano keys, it’s unnerving. Carla mentions in one
scene that she hooked up with a motorcycle riding juvenile delinquent who was
abusive in order to get away from the clutches of her religious father, this ex-boyfriend
is possibly the demon that’s haunting her now. The most terrifying scene occurs
when her family is right next to her and the ghost zaps her son and breaks his
wrist. David Labiosa who played the son, later on had a substantial acting role
as the busboy who lost his job in that one Seinfeld episode. One of her
daughters is played by Amy Ryan, the girl who has the demonic pig ghost
imaginary playmate from the Amityville Horror. <o:p></o:p><br />
<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbWJZvXeLf8mvPS8iberdSCewNJGd2llDRIRLyxFW8RjfbVpWWYLpRDWhLo5RGAooWA8vWyNtNhiEY5WHQj9U9nXufVKgbuxZQMQZ7azNVWIUadvEh9ZAAfgAbmVViXsaFU0FwmaIIzgDY/s1600/Screen+Shot+2018-10-18+at+5.28.39+PM.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="162" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbWJZvXeLf8mvPS8iberdSCewNJGd2llDRIRLyxFW8RjfbVpWWYLpRDWhLo5RGAooWA8vWyNtNhiEY5WHQj9U9nXufVKgbuxZQMQZ7azNVWIUadvEh9ZAAfgAbmVViXsaFU0FwmaIIzgDY/s320/Screen+Shot+2018-10-18+at+5.28.39+PM.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Jambi the Genie from Peewee's Playhouse cameo.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
None of the white men, smoking cigars who psycho analyze her
believe Carla Moran and they think she’s just an orgasm junkie. Yeah that's right, just like that Buzzcocks song!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Ron Silver’s character equates Carla’s insanity to Medieval
creatures driven by the fear of sex instilled through her ridged father’s extreme
religious values. It’s all so Freudian and the concept of powerful women seen
as conjuring up demons goes seems in league with witch burning films at least
to me. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Another aspect that this one shares with the aforementioned
Tobe Hooper ghostie is the concept of paranormalists (or ghostbusters) horning
in and solving problems or in this case making them far worse. They really
exploit her and sadly this movie portrays the main character as the perpetual
victim. This group of ghost hunters seem very desperate to find a real case of
a haunting. I see this as exploiting the wave of psychic phenomenon that was
rampant in the 70s. My fav. scene is where they attempt to lure the ghost into a web of nitroglycerin trap with Carla as the bait, so they can freeze it!<br />
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhCDIf-yCcSsMjyEMy5UUtEyonbMgf42jype6VV4Lmx6bwmtH_Wq1gGn7UvI3KFEbhzWSQ6E_3om4Ef7xJzo92qpGFLqGCoNtgLAXLQIxJ5JZO8ZDFxvWgl56_Cl3d14DDRtQ_lMUoZggd/s1600/Screen+Shot+2018-10-20+at+12.09.20+PM.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="146" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhCDIf-yCcSsMjyEMy5UUtEyonbMgf42jype6VV4Lmx6bwmtH_Wq1gGn7UvI3KFEbhzWSQ6E_3om4Ef7xJzo92qpGFLqGCoNtgLAXLQIxJ5JZO8ZDFxvWgl56_Cl3d14DDRtQ_lMUoZggd/s320/Screen+Shot+2018-10-20+at+12.09.20+PM.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">the Intelevision version of the Entity had really cool graphics.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
This film really strikes a chord with me, it’s freaky, scary
and mind blowing. More people should see it and it should be re-released with
extras. Sadly, there's only a barebones DVD and it's not available to stream anywhere.</div>
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<o:p></o:p></div>
<!--EndFragment--><br />Crankenstienhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09593719076720443439noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3851435459899615804.post-44043602268181770782018-10-09T00:00:00.000-07:002018-10-09T00:00:07.544-07:00SplatterFarm<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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Name="envelope address"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="endnote reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="10" QFormat="true" Name="Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="11" QFormat="true" Name="Subtitle"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="22" QFormat="true" Name="Strong"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="20" QFormat="true" Name="Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Preformatted"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="Table Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Placeholder Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" QFormat="true" Name="No Spacing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 1"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Revision"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="34" QFormat="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="29" QFormat="true" Name="Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="30" QFormat="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 1"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 2"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 3"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 4"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 5"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" QFormat="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" QFormat="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" QFormat="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Bibliography"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="TOC Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="41" Name="Plain Table 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="42" Name="Plain Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="43" Name="Plain Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="44" Name="Plain Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="45" Name="Plain Table 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="40" Name="Grid Table Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="Grid Table 1 Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
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<br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><b><br /></b></span>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEio_7RMhuH6Fa0HX5HmOfJO7QUFKJbycEO5lAiMh8JztZd64V1p2LXDjLiem0-HE7l4Yk9j5S28Lk2ifsmdU-JMasCwu0n4pQeDq2Re5h3G9J5pbHbY7WpObFNPnjJQIslf0n-bwWCZRz7j/s1600/Screen+Shot+2018-10-08+at+12.52.59+AM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="232" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEio_7RMhuH6Fa0HX5HmOfJO7QUFKJbycEO5lAiMh8JztZd64V1p2LXDjLiem0-HE7l4Yk9j5S28Lk2ifsmdU-JMasCwu0n4pQeDq2Re5h3G9J5pbHbY7WpObFNPnjJQIslf0n-bwWCZRz7j/s320/Screen+Shot+2018-10-08+at+12.52.59+AM.png" width="320" /></a></div>
<span style="font-size: small;"><b><br /></b></span>
<span style="font-size: small;"><b>Splatter Farm Directed by The Polonia Bros, (1987).</b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: small;">There are some shitty-os (shitty movies shot on video) that have come down the pike that defy rationality
and description, but Splatter Farm is a special case. We’ve seen many
unquestionable turds float to the top of the bowl like 555,
Killing Spree or even Burning Moon, but this one is horrendous and puts
them all to shame. When Skunkape is too busy, which he understandably has been
lately, I must call on my other best pal Sharky, who is the lunatic that sent
me this flick. </span>We also watched it together over the phone and be forewarned,
this one requires being smashed, fried and totally baked to endure the tortures
of the damned. So, act accordingly when viewing this highly toxic event.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCQ9rehHrI2yn4L-wb3Sf3hcoP0WA5Md9wRsQ5naIyF5z4o3HshoR_bIQbZomvVGbGzKTuP2INqgSLPN_YvPdB4XzwZ2rmcds9kxniXajhOhGsqg9_TmY6uMoJNbrpipVIMRk7gakFH4Xx/s1600/Screen+Shot+2018-10-08+at+12.54.06+AM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="234" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCQ9rehHrI2yn4L-wb3Sf3hcoP0WA5Md9wRsQ5naIyF5z4o3HshoR_bIQbZomvVGbGzKTuP2INqgSLPN_YvPdB4XzwZ2rmcds9kxniXajhOhGsqg9_TmY6uMoJNbrpipVIMRk7gakFH4Xx/s320/Screen+Shot+2018-10-08+at+12.54.06+AM.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">this is totally fine but weed is still illegal in the South.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
SF
apparently has an audience because it was re-released on DVD with quotes from
Joe Bob Briggs and Frank Henenelotter praising its merit. But I'm pretty sure there are horror fans out there that will buy fucking anything because one of my most hated movies Lucker The Necrophagus has a special edition DVD! Skunkape is that movies only fan.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjK_6NcThJZIFdRW8wX2wCOUjy0U-ukMZiMAQuIXFZ3yzR-HkGaE64Lt-vTchM88BIKK1JMgG16UFWo5QdGTgVI_GudW3h1QpHpu6VOiWCVZEyEtADDQrqr-rR3PFydWfsE1vVVVOAX-pl/s1600/Lucker1985_02.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="217" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjK_6NcThJZIFdRW8wX2wCOUjy0U-ukMZiMAQuIXFZ3yzR-HkGaE64Lt-vTchM88BIKK1JMgG16UFWo5QdGTgVI_GudW3h1QpHpu6VOiWCVZEyEtADDQrqr-rR3PFydWfsE1vVVVOAX-pl/s320/Lucker1985_02.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Can I have your autograph Mr. Odenkirk?</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">Splat begins with a pervy
hayseed named Jeremy, who bashes the bejeezus out of a raw meat filled dummy.
Next, the Polonia Brothers, who look like typical 80’s AV Club dweebs drive
around for a little while. I imagine they took the video tape of this very movie on their way to the high school auditorium to show it as their summer school thesis. You might think The Black Devil Doll is the most
atrociously, inept shot on video opus, but I’m almost embarrassed to say, this
one was definitely edited using 2 VCRS! The music is slightly better than the
casio tone for the hopelessly deranged aka the keytard stylinz of Chester
Turner. I guess you could call Splatter Farm, the White Devil Doll!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkqOiMkmLil9fN1Ugy9qJVqcCEU7K0sYgD6Mg7OUt1Ezp-uW826Ri3Bkjo9zgK-ByNOmAKLQrtzhek0JI_xglBzCIa1_4D02090ASzKNPY-1pbuo5aSNfVIX6dNB46DcrVXyUw6ZOWVGP-/s1600/Screen+Shot+2018-10-08+at+12.54.38+AM.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="229" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkqOiMkmLil9fN1Ugy9qJVqcCEU7K0sYgD6Mg7OUt1Ezp-uW826Ri3Bkjo9zgK-ByNOmAKLQrtzhek0JI_xglBzCIa1_4D02090ASzKNPY-1pbuo5aSNfVIX6dNB46DcrVXyUw6ZOWVGP-/s320/Screen+Shot+2018-10-08+at+12.54.38+AM.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Woah! Wrong tape again!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">There’s tracking issues, a
giant PLAY that flashes over the edits and I was kind of disturbed at what
these kids were up to. I wonder what film makers possessed these knuckleheads to enact such
fictional depravity and involve their Grandma/ Aunt to join in on the sexual
deviance. I'm guessing it was Pasolini and Fulci. I kept wondering if it was going to hit, amateur porn levels of
sickness and it sort of does. There’s fisting, coprophagia, pee drinking, a
dude shits out a knife and wiggles his belly button in extreme close-up. It’s
all simulated though, which still isn’t comforting. I don't recommend watching it alone, because you will most likely give up and watch reruns of WKRP in Cincinatti.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">Thanks again to Hollywood High's #1 fan for sending me this. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZbjNEdoT82E6Bq53SmGkAolLhwjXPK8hyzOURex-Dv5DMu-EcztbGdCp-LdAsz54HR0Xp-JnNExR9nV18hfsaAgHc9QSap6zQjThVGnp1KDWudMAkqUJo89vI0qh-Lm_li6wI3FJ6O9WF/s1600/Screen+Shot+2018-10-08+at+12.55.57+AM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="234" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZbjNEdoT82E6Bq53SmGkAolLhwjXPK8hyzOURex-Dv5DMu-EcztbGdCp-LdAsz54HR0Xp-JnNExR9nV18hfsaAgHc9QSap6zQjThVGnp1KDWudMAkqUJo89vI0qh-Lm_li6wI3FJ6O9WF/s320/Screen+Shot+2018-10-08+at+12.55.57+AM.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">What we got here is a failure to communicate, the famous line from Splatter Farm.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
<!--EndFragment--><br />Crankenstienhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09593719076720443439noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3851435459899615804.post-2138490403868341622018-09-04T00:00:00.000-07:002018-09-04T00:00:01.796-07:00Beyond The Door<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="endnote text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="table of authorities"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="macro"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="toa heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="10" QFormat="true" Name="Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Closing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Signature"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Default Paragraph Font"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Message Header"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="11" QFormat="true" Name="Subtitle"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Salutation"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Date"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text First Indent"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text First Indent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Block Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Hyperlink"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="FollowedHyperlink"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="22" QFormat="true" Name="Strong"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="20" QFormat="true" Name="Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Document Map"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Plain Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="E-mail Signature"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Top of Form"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Bottom of Form"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal (Web)"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Acronym"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Address"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Cite"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Code"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Definition"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Keyboard"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Preformatted"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Sample"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Typewriter"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Variable"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal Table"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="annotation subject"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="No List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Contemporary"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Elegant"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Professional"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Subtle 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Subtle 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Balloon Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="Table Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Theme"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Placeholder Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" QFormat="true" Name="No Spacing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Revision"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="34" QFormat="true"
Name="List Paragraph"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="29" QFormat="true" Name="Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="30" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Bibliography"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="TOC Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="41" Name="Plain Table 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="42" Name="Plain Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="43" Name="Plain Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="44" Name="Plain Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="45" Name="Plain Table 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="40" Name="Grid Table Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="Grid Table 1 Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="List Table 1 Light"/>
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<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYXTLQEpOv8nxi_op4LG5uJWzlV5gEn3dYiK7b8yuEQonm3yfjvdkBuV5rJMDi-yldQ02_RjEEq3tuF5gqHu0zJOKGyyW9JQa3O2di4NjPAD2BT4zncGr2FksUqkCzwUqTev22AJU2tmMR/s1600/beyond+the+door2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYXTLQEpOv8nxi_op4LG5uJWzlV5gEn3dYiK7b8yuEQonm3yfjvdkBuV5rJMDi-yldQ02_RjEEq3tuF5gqHu0zJOKGyyW9JQa3O2di4NjPAD2BT4zncGr2FksUqkCzwUqTev22AJU2tmMR/s400/beyond+the+door2.jpg" width="230" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><b>Beyond The Door (Who Are You?, Chi Sei?, Devil With Her), Directed By Ovidio G. Assonitus (1974).<o:p></o:p></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">I’ve attempted to watch
this Ovid Assonitus schlock fest repeatedly ever since I’ve seen the trailer on
Mad Ron’s Prevues. But I always scratch my head, take a migraine pill and lie
down. I never got what people saw in this movie that is until now.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">According to Roger Ebert,
who like always was confused and a little disturbed that the T.V. ads drew in
the audiences who probably had their patented Howard K. Scott upchuck cups
handy for the ensuing barf-a-rama.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">I was pretty stoked to even
see where they filmed certain scenes in San Francisco, having lived there
previously for 10 years.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There’s gratuitous Golden Gate footage of course, Alcatraz (where I worked for a time) and also Safeway.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">It begins in the same
candle lit dimension as the Police video for “Wrapped around your finger”. A
dark void with an altar that has a naked female who morphs into a Manson
looking dude who still has a pretty sweet rack.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9aSk07WWgeeGuEjFyYOAs1K_hXZ_57_PynQUiriYR6lYcfl8H4yNtP4CgigujiJX7hk9hyMl1l2lLk-dUBIIvVSmIMf2CGRO0uL_HMi4cX4ta9P6vKAe9X6AoP4N-kq9LchCKMrZAOymF/s1600/beyonddoorboobs.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9aSk07WWgeeGuEjFyYOAs1K_hXZ_57_PynQUiriYR6lYcfl8H4yNtP4CgigujiJX7hk9hyMl1l2lLk-dUBIIvVSmIMf2CGRO0uL_HMi4cX4ta9P6vKAe9X6AoP4N-kq9LchCKMrZAOymF/s320/beyonddoorboobs.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I got moobs</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">Satan’s voice tries to
clear up some plot development but I was totally confused. The details involve
Richard Johnson as Dimitri, who you may remember as “The Boat can leave now”
guy from Zombi 2. Johnson returns from hell after dying in a car wreck to deliver
what he promised to Satan. Or something, I mean the guy that wrote the fucking
Visitor is responsible for this shit, I’m sure he gulped an entire bag of
shrooms while chasing it down with an iced cappuccino! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">The Media VHS version sucks
compared to the Code Red one, just skip it, you’ll thank me later. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">They don’t even play the
extremely funky and catchy soundtrack by Franco Micalizzi and the big bubbling
band! I’d like to say that I have fond memories of finding the Chi Sei? Score on
vinyl at somewhere cool like Amoeba or Kim’s Video in its heyday, but no I just
downloaded the score in the early aughts on a blog that used megaupload, pretty
lame!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXw98Of1M2s7tkmhZW86ddvqdpbfC03kfRagx8X6yfxpL9y5VQJwuVxFyalQbt3Zp9aEI8D_-4n-REebSlVej6eTcZ1x7u_dIxvVJKD6iojgTQOeWA7SSXkIo7VPzr4BO_KkYrJSGRVN20/s1600/giphy.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXw98Of1M2s7tkmhZW86ddvqdpbfC03kfRagx8X6yfxpL9y5VQJwuVxFyalQbt3Zp9aEI8D_-4n-REebSlVej6eTcZ1x7u_dIxvVJKD6iojgTQOeWA7SSXkIo7VPzr4BO_KkYrJSGRVN20/s320/giphy.gif" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Kim Dotcom you suck!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">Gabriele Lavia, the actor
who plays the husband, looks like Dean Stockwell’s stunt double. He’s appeared
in some Dario Argento films. That’s a good coincidence because the mom, played
by Juliette Mills looks like Kirsten Dunst. Oh yeah and their son who
practically carried the sequel on his tiny shoulders drinks from a Campbell soup
can with a straw. None of this is in the Media VHS version by the way. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRyKkNsr6dTMDGEzFO9a18fFwiWSVK-4xI6UIT0iVL_AxbZQ4cOhVUJn3IuyZhvY1-OdIAFngnc-Mda1dtR4-oQpHjcuRT5QwRJleO8URG3SZvZNsiJFm2gl4vm0791IxeJ7i_hHT_27km/s1600/Screen+Shot+2018-09-03+at+1.45.33+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="177" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRyKkNsr6dTMDGEzFO9a18fFwiWSVK-4xI6UIT0iVL_AxbZQ4cOhVUJn3IuyZhvY1-OdIAFngnc-Mda1dtR4-oQpHjcuRT5QwRJleO8URG3SZvZNsiJFm2gl4vm0791IxeJ7i_hHT_27km/s320/Screen+Shot+2018-09-03+at+1.45.33+PM.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">just packing my MAGA lunchbox.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p><span style="font-size: small;"> </span></o:p><span style="font-size: small;">Ovidio really knows how to
rip off the source material, I mean he’s made an entire career out of it. He
produced Piranha 2, Tentacles (2 flicks that plagurize the Jaws franchise) and
likes to claim he spawned James Cameron’s career (excuse the Spawning pun)!
Then there’s The Visitor, which makes even less sense in unedited form that’s
available on Shudder, (I’m glad I didn’t watch that for my review a few years
ago).</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">In Beyond The Door, there’s
no Ouiji board fooling around or incantations that bring on demonic possession
or explanation as to why the mom gets all pustule and levitates but if you’re
looking for coherence in an Ovidio helmed movie you need help! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">Also not only is Jessica
inhabited by evil spirits and swiveling her head around Linda Blair style but
she’s pregnant—bonus!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNQ1onqyDyqNCAxzeEnQ6zL4zeYYRw5I7Io3QZ66DUF_ACW04OylyVOuakAAfQw1lWyIaFa_4k-qaOmwIwoFcCH5kwoe_NfiGLBPVBOwZSNXYfFzlKr01YAqoBqzz3KsTwL7OKgOh_PsnW/s1600/beyonddoor.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNQ1onqyDyqNCAxzeEnQ6zL4zeYYRw5I7Io3QZ66DUF_ACW04OylyVOuakAAfQw1lWyIaFa_4k-qaOmwIwoFcCH5kwoe_NfiGLBPVBOwZSNXYfFzlKr01YAqoBqzz3KsTwL7OKgOh_PsnW/s320/beyonddoor.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">TWINSEES</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">There’s some gratuitous pea
soup in cans in various places around her two kids who are extremely obnoxious and dubbed. The way
Jessica throws her vomit around and talks like Shirley Temple reminds me more
of the Richard Pryor/ Laraine Newman Exorcist parody then the Friedkin
original.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgc1Y9sVXfBb7wOy8H6p8XzF7YEnOnVSj6v1XfzqIQ60E8zsjiSyfBVmb2VAwEKS_XWP4HrSE2O3LjuM4fbbmE2OGx-FGHrq4SrmM3feQ40sB1IKn-Kbm4AI9Yv5o5RK_P3sgM0ZCimoSzN/s1600/btd5.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgc1Y9sVXfBb7wOy8H6p8XzF7YEnOnVSj6v1XfzqIQ60E8zsjiSyfBVmb2VAwEKS_XWP4HrSE2O3LjuM4fbbmE2OGx-FGHrq4SrmM3feQ40sB1IKn-Kbm4AI9Yv5o5RK_P3sgM0ZCimoSzN/s320/btd5.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Blade Runner cosplay.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
They must’ve gotten their
porcelain dolls from the same road side dump in Tourist Trap because they come
to life, start cackling and doing some scary ass telekinetic shit!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">There’s one scene in the
longer cut where these black dudes surround Juliet’s husband and one plays a
flute with his nose!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhD6Z3HcqAXA2mtfE5JyVvOWPsxtMFZEXsoR8ibVOkKBHzBg3TGzfMCMiZNDr4nqpCBUjSz2UdcUT8KnaIMzTbbww5UVa2u_dCqucy9xMX-ptUsit1kmmir4dkYihU_jJlPDAZGC61Fc6iM/s1600/beyond+door+nose.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhD6Z3HcqAXA2mtfE5JyVvOWPsxtMFZEXsoR8ibVOkKBHzBg3TGzfMCMiZNDr4nqpCBUjSz2UdcUT8KnaIMzTbbww5UVa2u_dCqucy9xMX-ptUsit1kmmir4dkYihU_jJlPDAZGC61Fc6iM/s320/beyond+door+nose.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">street corner version of cross eyed mary played with a nostril.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">Greg Goodsell mentioned how there’s a Pink
Flamingos nod, so watch out for that. I’ve hated this film for years, so It’s
kind of inspiring to see that the Code Red version (which is pretty cheap
online) just randomly showed up on YT. It convinced me that even though this
movie still is pretty bad and a shameless rip off, I still enjoyed it for its ridiculous audacity. I can only recommend it for people in the states where Rutles Indian
tea is legal, if you know what I mean. </span><span style="font-size: small;"> </span></div>
<!--EndFragment--><br />
<br />
<br />Crankenstienhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09593719076720443439noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3851435459899615804.post-68159851616448639792018-06-18T00:00:00.000-07:002018-06-18T00:00:04.034-07:00Hunchback of the Morgue<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIkpQcnNIQN-FFy90YB24cRjisa2aWKtDnyga6STDg01hhvGcRakVASdoeJoWjaRzGn3bIK43bkvqLzVB8S3wkophdKfhZwbU_4TNAagDD-VRKOGz6UvC-BLn5cIau6as58OMbdDCndjBv/s1600/a3bb46edce750d915e55a23840b1f825.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIkpQcnNIQN-FFy90YB24cRjisa2aWKtDnyga6STDg01hhvGcRakVASdoeJoWjaRzGn3bIK43bkvqLzVB8S3wkophdKfhZwbU_4TNAagDD-VRKOGz6UvC-BLn5cIau6as58OMbdDCndjBv/s400/a3bb46edce750d915e55a23840b1f825.jpg" width="270" /></a></div>
<b><br /></b>
<b><br /></b>
<b>HUNCHBACK OF THE MORGUE<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> Directed By Javier Aguirre, Starring Paul Naschy (1973).</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"><b><br /></b></span>
<span style="color: red; mso-tab-count: 1;"><b>Reviewed By Troy Guinn.</b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"><b> </b></span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Don’t be fooled
by the impossibly catchy “oompah” German polka theme that plays behind the
opening credits of HUNCHBACK OF THE MORGUE; it might be the last cheerful
moments of the film but it damn sure won’t be the only thing that lingers in
your mind after you experience this, the peak of Spanish horror icon Paul
Naschy’s career as an actor and storyteller, and one of the very best
Eurohorror films of the 1970’s.<o:p></o:p><br />
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>In a small
German village (actually a Spanish town in Catalonia serving as a stand-in),
the inhabitants pass their time by chugging beer and abusing the deformed
hunchback, Gotho (Paul Naschy). Even the children and the students of the local
medical college get in on the cruel fun of tormenting Gotho, whose only solace
is his friendship with the sickly Ilse (Maria Elena Arpon), whom he visits in
the hospital, where he also serves as a morgue attendant. When Ilse dies, the
hunchback, already driven half-mad by a lifetime as an outcast, is truly sent
over the edge, stealing Ilse’s body while dealing murderous justice to those
who disrespected her in life or who would dispose of her corpse. Yes, Gotho
might be a lover but he ain’t no dancer, and while Ilse’s remains turn a queasy
shade of green and the flies start a-buzzin’, Gotho cleaves heads from bodies,
battles a horde of hungry rats, and introduces various thugs to the acid bath
in his underground lair if they get too close to his departed, decomposing pal.<o:p></o:p><br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgaGdjo1d7qZQbTkUUmtV3uLlLwXgGQ1XGgzngmKY-SG1vQvDNtsl3uHXhVl7Gbl5uqHiCb3ig8txP0hChS_CwtKeycQGpg4KvIH-sHcvEk24Tb8k9TCZGQ2t7hUG9SaozfQA4wGryALcYg/s1600/tumblr_o9d4t5uuEC1rhbk14o2_1280.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="182" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgaGdjo1d7qZQbTkUUmtV3uLlLwXgGQ1XGgzngmKY-SG1vQvDNtsl3uHXhVl7Gbl5uqHiCb3ig8txP0hChS_CwtKeycQGpg4KvIH-sHcvEk24Tb8k9TCZGQ2t7hUG9SaozfQA4wGryALcYg/s320/tumblr_o9d4t5uuEC1rhbk14o2_1280.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">All I gotta do is slice off some nice bacon for the Arby's meat delivery.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Enter Dr.
Orla (Alberto Dalbes), a prominent professor at the medical college who is
having trouble getting funding, let alone consent, to continue his
controversial scientific endeavors at the university. In Gotho, the
manipulative doctor sees a gullible tool he can use to his own ends. Dr. Orla
promises to bring Ilse back to life if Gotho will build a secret lab in the
catacombs for Orla’s experiments. Even when Ilse’s physical form is destroyed
and Gotho thinks all hope is lost, Orla tells him not to worry, for the
professor’s discoveries in growing new cell tissue will enable him to create an
entirely new Ilse from scratch. There’s just one catch, though: the newly
growing tissue must be fed living human flesh! Luckily, there’s an entire
women’s prison in this quaint little village, which provides the prowling
hunchback with many potential victims to kidnap and serve as dinner to Orla’s
rapidly-growing “Ilse”.<o:p></o:p><br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLGuOnbx2vFt_KcAVaAocfE4ihTsZfSQLpn_VyIgh5-AsIiywN4Qn8ytdajM2zBg6vKO9smK_MMJ8LfW6hHnba9HzJH-0mG_n4g6aZ7VRLZ5bwON7iADkIjGWuKPLbhwttUNqYWYfSrJ6U/s1600/tumblr_o9d4t5uuEC1rhbk14o5_1280.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="182" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLGuOnbx2vFt_KcAVaAocfE4ihTsZfSQLpn_VyIgh5-AsIiywN4Qn8ytdajM2zBg6vKO9smK_MMJ8LfW6hHnba9HzJH-0mG_n4g6aZ7VRLZ5bwON7iADkIjGWuKPLbhwttUNqYWYfSrJ6U/s320/tumblr_o9d4t5uuEC1rhbk14o5_1280.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">when will supper be ready, I can't fucking wait anymore!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Along the
way, Gotho draws the attention of Elke (Rosanna Yanni), a compassionate doctor
who not only takes the hunchback into her heart, but also into her boudoir
(this IS a Paul Naschy film, after all). Still undeterred in his determination
to see Ilse reborn, Gotho continues to procure live, kicking and screaming
victims for Orla’s pet; however, it becomes apparent that what Orla is actually
cultivating is not a fresh, sweet, flower-loving Ilse but an ancient “Old One”
from the primordial beginnings of time. This kick-in-the-teeth, combined with
Orla’s plan to feed not only Elke but two other kind doctors (played by Vic
Winner and Maria Perschy) to the “Primordial” finally convinces Gotho he’s been
had and it’s time to shut down Orla for good. It’s at this moment the
Primordial, who’s grown into a humanoid, slimy shambling thing, decides it’s
tired of dining in and breaks loose from his cell. Gotho must do battle with
the Primordial and save his new friends from Dr. Orla’s evil machinations.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>If the
above synopsis is any indication, anyone popping HUNCHBACK into the DVD player
and expecting another take on Victor Hugo’s classic HUNCHBACK OF NOTRE DAME, a
familiar tale about a lonely and pathetic figure who suffers cruelty from his
fellow man except for the kindness of one girl, whom he then sacrifices all to
protect, might not be prepared for the sick, wonderfully unsavory and nutty
catacombs full of surprises lying in wait for them in Naschy and director
Javier Aguirre’s twisted cinematic concoction. However, those well-versed in
the quirky realms of Eurohorror and also Naschy’s fertile mind know full well
he not only loved reviving the classic monsters, he also specialized in subverting
expectations and creating rich stews that mixed ingredients from his well-read
library, his love of cinema and art, and his own personal experiences. From
moment to moment, scene to scene, HUNCHBACK OF THE MORGUE is science-fiction,
gothic horror, Lovecraft-inspired celestial mythos, pulpy 70’s horror comic
magazine, grand guignol gore, and Universal films monster mash. <o:p></o:p><br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqwJjJvicjUzSNcEAeY6Guzp45UWvc4RJvtHi5OEpPoqvqNqzi2XYDcc26XIpjMiJgo4HIOG-F3IS3wam3u2C_RPnUIWHBHnjTSzw3oIEzuw4JI1FbGTBMG2vWQSaYw_jgHuyqS_H4E4V1/s1600/hunch6.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqwJjJvicjUzSNcEAeY6Guzp45UWvc4RJvtHi5OEpPoqvqNqzi2XYDcc26XIpjMiJgo4HIOG-F3IS3wam3u2C_RPnUIWHBHnjTSzw3oIEzuw4JI1FbGTBMG2vWQSaYw_jgHuyqS_H4E4V1/s320/hunch6.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Shhh! Be quiet, I'm trying to masturbate!<br /></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>So, yes, a
lot to absorb, but at the film’s heart is our hunchback, Gotho, and Paul
Naschy’s effective portrayal, one for which he would receive prestigious
international accolades and awards. Naschy gives a physically skillful and
psychologically compelling performance, adding complexity and layers to what
could have simply been the “village idiot” as most of Gotho’s community see him.
Gotho is a sympathetic yet volatile character, childlike but certainly not an
innocent nor a total idiot; an obviously deranged individual capable of
unconditional, bordering-on-religious devotion to those who show him kindness,
but also able to return the brutality he receives twofold, with decisive
violence and, yes, a hint of gleeful sadism. While it’s somewhat amusing, in
light of the fact that Naschy’s scripts usually provided plenty of intimate
scenes with lovely actresses for his protagonists, to note that Gotho might be
horror cinema’s only hunchback to enjoy consensual sex with a film’s loveliest
starlet (in this case, the stunning Rosanna Yanni), it does lend a unique
degree of tragedy to Gotho’s story: unlike his bell-ringing Parisian counterpart,
Gotho actually CAN “get the girl” and find earthly happiness, but he’s simply
too far gone in his own self-hatred and disdain for the world of the living,
and his desire for the company of Ilse’s remains, animated or no, to take this
rope to redemption that has been thrown to him.<o:p></o:p><br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3bZyiibJdsMiyZkMMw6A3xijQUe7mk8K2LfS4G4tbWF0EOAeKZV9BCq7yOgb9oW2hNkPnT87BbPnRGueUixaFt4dEuyPYg3bUM00JS_lVcmlWA6wbMLwxxPDBaahha7f9omDaDUQUQ-8G/s1600/tumblr_o9d4t5uuEC1rhbk14o10_1280.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="182" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3bZyiibJdsMiyZkMMw6A3xijQUe7mk8K2LfS4G4tbWF0EOAeKZV9BCq7yOgb9oW2hNkPnT87BbPnRGueUixaFt4dEuyPYg3bUM00JS_lVcmlWA6wbMLwxxPDBaahha7f9omDaDUQUQ-8G/s320/tumblr_o9d4t5uuEC1rhbk14o10_1280.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Huh? The Hunchback's got game? I'm flabbergasted! </td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Even those
who haven’t seen HUNCHBACK OF THE MORGUE might be aware of its most justifiably
infamous sequence, in which Gotho returns to his lair to find that rats are
feasting on Ilse’ corpse. The rats fling themselves on the hunchback (Naschy
was covered in horse grease and yes, the rats are really biting him), who
drives them away by putting them to the torch. The rats used in the production
had been rounded up by the city and were scheduled to be destroyed, but that
doesn’t make it any easier to watch the roasting rodent fireballs run
screeching to and fro…unless you get off on that kind of thing. As unpleasant
as this scene is to watch and certainly to film (as it was for Naschy and must
have been for Maria Elena Arpon, who as Ilse earns a real Eurohorror merit
badge for maintaining corpse-like stillness while being swarmed by the rats),
the sleeze-and-quease factor might have been ramped up even further if a
certain other opportunity for real-life gore had been carried through: The
HUNCHBACK production received permission to use a real cadaver in the morgue
anyway they wished. The plan was for Gotho to actually behead the corpse, but
even though Naschy fortified himself with liquor before filming the
decapitation, he was unable to bring himself to do it. Thus, it’s merely a fake
head that Dr. Orla feeds to the growing “Primordial”, and I think I speak for
most viewers when I say that’s probably for the best…unless you get off on that
kind of thing.<o:p></o:p><br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitWFZ_L7RGFFMs2r1DR01Z73l7yU5Lzs9qsmJ-bJYdvsdGVRFgWRSMDtBnnbq19YzScVINaScKK6E49VVQwNz0thhf_akcl7eWCrGIQd32AKC2kgZ2V7dOYhRi_IQjRqEpVC1qNsUlqIEZ/s1600/hunch1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="181" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitWFZ_L7RGFFMs2r1DR01Z73l7yU5Lzs9qsmJ-bJYdvsdGVRFgWRSMDtBnnbq19YzScVINaScKK6E49VVQwNz0thhf_akcl7eWCrGIQd32AKC2kgZ2V7dOYhRi_IQjRqEpVC1qNsUlqIEZ/s320/hunch1.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Alchohol, solves all problems, lowers inhibitions, Ahh skip it and bring in the fake severed head.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Visually,
HUNCHBACK is a marvel for lovers of gothic horror, making use of vast catacombs
under Madrid to evoke a dank, clammily noxious atmosphere. The cinematography
of Raul Perez Cubero lends the film the brown earthy tones of Brueghel, a
painter Naschy admired greatly, and the history of cruelty and suffering that
occurred in these underground tunnels (in the film, still littered with
discarded skeletons and torture devices) underscores the casual inhumanity
directed towards Gotho by the “normal” denizens of the village above. One can
almost smell the cold decay of Gotho’s world because of the visual power and
the imaginativeness of the set design.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>HUNCHBACK
OF THE MORGUE belongs in the upper echelon of touchstone works in Eurohorror
history. Even some of those that praise the film have deemed the story to be
“muddled” or a “mess” but that unjustly penalizes the film for having a wealth
of ideas and mixing several genres, while ignoring that these ingredients
nearly all unfold without derailing the pace or failing to pay off in the
story. What’s perhaps most impressive is that HUNCHBACK was made when Naschy
and director Aguirre were forced to shut down production on COUNT DRACULA’S
GREAT LOVE due to an accident suffered by some of the cast. While COUNT
DRACULA, as atmospheric and endlessly watchable as it is, is truly a work that
can be called muddled, HUNCHBACK stands as the superior achievement of the two
films.<o:p></o:p><br />
<br />
<a href="https://www.shoutfactory.com/product/the-paul-naschy-collection-ii?product_id=6404">BUY THE BLU-RAY OF NASCHY COLLECTION II</a>, (which has exclusive commentary from Troy and Rod Barnett of the Naschycast).</div>
<!--EndFragment--><br />Crankenstienhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09593719076720443439noreply@blogger.com0