Thursday, October 24, 2013

The Haunted Cop Shop 2

The Haunted Cop Shop 2 (Meng Gui Tang) Directed by Jeffrey Lau. Starring Ricky Hui (1988).
Every Asian Cult Film encyclopedia tried to warn me never to watch Haunted Cop Shop 1, so I have no idea if its an Empire Strikes Back or Raped By an Angel 3 deal, where it's not safe to go in blindly without knowing the back stories of each elaborate character's pasts,presents or futures. I am taking a gamble with this one, because I would hate to get burned by a wacky supernatural comedy dud.
   HCS2 doesn't start, so much as burst forth like a juggernaut of Chinese vampires and headless ghosts. The two main characters are haunted by tax collectors, who have a secret business meeting with police and vampires around a table where blood is served for refreshments (What? no donuts)? 
time to call the Yellow Bun Busters!
   Ricky Hui and Jacky Cheung play the two government lunkheads sent on a special mission to destroy the monsters infecting the city (think a Chinese rip off of Spies Like Us with more action and gore)!
   Wong Kar Wai the famed indie darling director of Chunk King Express and Happy Together wrote this and the original HCS
   A sexy vampire Madam shows up in a dank hallway with blood oozing from her mouth. Man-chill (Hui) almost gets bitten, but every time he touches her boobs or humps her, she giggles in a loud orgasmic way and it prevents her from biting! My dog does the same thing to subdue vicious female dogs!
   Kam-Mark Kay (Cheung) flies through a hallway on skate board mops, chasing vampires. There are some jokes that flew over my head or get lost in the translation, but its never dull!
A jarheaded cop attempts to start a Ghostbusting team so he can get a promotion and then more got lost in the translation. (I found myself scratching my head alot, possibly the DVD release will clear up the confusion).
Nerdy Dracula wants a soda

   Cop Shop 2 is extremely slapstick and very wacky with the police office banter, it goes out of its way for cheap laughs beyond the scenes of ghost hunting and vampire slaying. The film switches gears for awhile and basically goes into a Hong Kong Police Academy only with severed heads stuck in basketballs!
   Man-chill accidentally gets bitten once on the neck and begins to turn into a werewolf! Two vampires show up (one has Gene Simmons KISS make-up and the other in a cheap Dracula get up)! This film is sort of a murky unofficial sequel to Mr. Vampire that's way more outlandish. Some of the same actors are in it and its even includes a small parody of hopping vampires, when a character says "no, just walk normal".
   Some randomness that occurs: a girl washed her hair in a bloody tub with a vampire girl underwater, a homophobic guy thinks staking someone will erase the gayness and these Ghost Busters (no Venkman or Egon in sight) act like animals to make a chicken lay eggs. 
   A character named Romeo keeps claiming to have menopause gets smacked in the face repeatedly by Bad-Luck, its not funny and looked painful.
Smirky dismal

   They harness all their spirit within, to battle an attractive female vampire and turn into Wuxia style Chinese men and women in drag!
   The bumbling Ghost Busters with names like Bad-Luck,Little Bald, Romeo and Little Witch insult each and lumber around in the dark, while Man-chill periodically tries to bite them with his one fang. 
I saw a chinese werewolf drinking a Pina Colada at Trader Vics....
They come up with the same technique to destroy the blood suckers as Gremlins 2 and Slugs: The Movie, only this time it's with a combined stream of everyones urine and electricity! This film is out of its gourd and even with all the random moments and insanity, its a total blast! Eventually when TOG puts together enough money by selling t-shirts and donating blood (collectively from each contributor of course, we shall form a rare Asian film DVD company to rival Mondo Macabro, its leading up to that with all the Asian brilliance only available on shoddy formats)!

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