Monday, November 30, 2015

DeathDream


DEATHDREAM ( Night Walk, Dead of Night, The Night Andy Came Home, Whispers)
USA, 1974
Directed by: Bob Clark
Starring: John Marley, Lynn Carlin, Richard Backus

Reviewed By Michael Hauss

   Way back when before the advent of DVD, I had this film on VHS from Gorgon video. The picture quality was bleached out and made for an unappealing view. Now don't get me wrong I thought it was a very good movie back then, but the DVD from Blue Underground is an amazing upgrade and quite honestly it's like watching a totally different movie. The work put into this by Blue Underground had to be substantial and to think that this film could ever look this good was unfathomable to me, until the viewing of this DVD. I realize that the film was released by Blue Underground around 2004 and has been in my possession for many years, it was never a film I felt like revisiting because of the first bad impression quality wise I had of it on VHS. The DVD has informative feature length audio commentaries by the director Bob Clark and the screenwriter Alan Ormsby, recorded separately, plus many other extras, including a short feature on Tom Savini, called "The Early Years."

I'll show you who's boss, adorable house pet!

This film had many different titles including DEAD OF THE NIGHT, THE NIGHT WALK and THE NIGHT ANDY CAME OUT OF HIS GRAVE. This film per the DVD cover "marked the grisly debut of Gore effects legend Tom Savini." (at the time he was working with Alan Orsmby on Deranged so it may have been simultaneous-Crank).

The parents of a young man named Andy are devastated by the news that their son has been killed in the war and the father Charles (John Marley) while grief stricken manages through, but the mother Christine (Lynn Carlin) freaks out and becomes transfixed in denial of his death, pleading for her son to return to her. So when Andy returns home in his uniform looking like death warmed over, but alive, the parents are obviously overjoyed. Andy locks himself away in his room, turning away his friends and family who come to visit him. After a shocking incident where Andy kills his beloved pooch in front of some neighbor kids, he is taken to see a physician, who makes a startling discovery, that being that Andy has no vitals statistics, he's dead. Before the doctor can report this, Andy kills him and withdraws his blood, injecting himself with it. The ending with Andy going to the Drive-in with friends is fantastic and a great ending to this fine film.

Whuut's the deal with airline peanuts?


The team of Bob Clak and Alan Ormsby first film CHILDREN SHOULDN'T PLAY WITH DEAD THINGS (USA, 1972) was a fun but boring horror film, technically weak and amateurish, this film is quite an upgrade in all facets of the game. The acting here is outstanding lead by the great John Marley as the father and a fine nuisanced performance by Richard Backus as Andy.
With the Vietnam war recently concluded this film to me seems to be saying that the young men returning from the war were dead inside, so programmed to violence that they had become immune to the death and destruction around them and at times the violence would be carried over into their civilian life.
Mosquito The Rapist copied me

The direction is handled ardently by Clark and a fine thought provoking script by Ormsby really fuels this low budget gem. The score by Carl Zittrer was very unconventional but grew on me as I viewed the film. The film is a dark, grimy post war drama that showed how soldiers along with their families were inflicted by the trauma of war. The makeup by a young Tom Savini and Alan Ormsby is outstanding and not overly Gore heavy, the effects are indeed low key but still quite disturbing.

Turn off the engine will ya, I'm not finished yet

One thing of note is the very generic opening which obviously is shot in Florida standing in for Vietnam and a different actor standing in as Andy, which is explained in the commentary. The story is based on the famous short story 'Monkey Paw' written by W.W. Jacobs, the premise of  the story has been used countless times in film including most famously in PET CEMETARY (USA, 1989).
The director Bob Clark would go on to direct one of the earliest and finest slasher films in BLACK CHRISTMAS (Canada, 1974), a terrific Christmas film in A CHRISTMAS STORY (USA, 1983), a fun coming of age film PORKY' S (USA, Canada, 1981) and one of worst pieces of shit of all time in RHINESTONE (USA, 1984). Alan Ormsby directed the fine horror film DERANGED (USA, CANADA, 1974) which was based on the life of the notorious killer Ed Gein.
I found this film a moving and disturbing experience that stayed with me after viewing it. A bit of a slow burning character study, but with fine acting performances, this little horror drama is a film I can highly recommend.

I keep telling you, I'm not a zombie I'm just Gay!

Tuesday, November 24, 2015

Dignified Killers


Dignified Killers Directed By Chen Chu-Huang, Starring Lam Wai (1991).

Lately on YouTube there's been a rash of videos boasting how these are Wu Tang approved films, which is pretty cool for me because I get to review flicks that are also in the DR catalog, so I really can't bitch about this. Fuck Redbox, I mean it would be pretty sweet if they had their own 80's retro video store that only stocked Golden Harvest or Dickson Poon productions I'd go every weekend!
 
We got all the whole Wu-Tang collection of Kung-fu and Asian gore plus 9 copies of One Crazy Summer

DK starts off in a rundown gambling den, I mean these seem like some broke ass gangsters, their hideout looks like an abandoned construction site. One dude (Lam Wai) sporting a thin villainy mustache looks like he's a contender in the Chow Yun-Fat look a like contest. A few dozen ariel blood sprays and Ginzu knife fightings in, I'm pretty comfortable that this is gonna rule. Fights spill into various rooms and situations like they're a natural event, 
arms flap, some are hacked off and tables are thrown around non stop, it's a bit much you might say.


Hong Kong Fooey I'll have you know is quicker than the human eye


Fake Chow's partner has a highly psychotic look on his face its unintentionally alarming.
A dude spits blood at the screen Gene Simmons style, triggering a faux James Bond credit sequence. This film has some inventive stage combat by Tse Man-Yik. 
The only problem is that 10 mins in, nothing has been established and there are no characters only an onslaught of vicious action, it's enough to sustain the momentum but somebody to relate to better show up any min. There's a lot of stolen sounding music I'm not sure where from and Shazam is busted again on my phone. 


Allow me to extend my jaw into a hilarious Popeye impression


I still have no idea how anyone is connected or what their backstory is, but they all fight and pummel each other into the dirt so obviously there's strife.
The Dignified Killers comes off like a budget-less John Woo flick and it's sort of fascinating that even with no character development, plot line or story, the excessive violence keeps it struggling along and the pay off is worth all the confusion. Without subs you'd be better off with no subs and could piece together what's happening more successfully.

Next some pretty females show up, one is played by Emily Chu Bo-Yee (from A Better Tomorrow 2) and their story arc barely makes any sense but is packed with over emotional baggage and even a suicide attempt. After one girl downs an entire bottle of wine (she's forced to by a nightclub jerk), more fighting ensues, this film is so below the radar that the information on HKMDB was kind of spotty which is unheard of, that's become my number 1 source for Asian film cross referencing. 


Ladies be lovin' that wine (in Steve Harvey voice)


A dumb karaoke song whisks us away to a zoo montage where Huei and his girlfriend Ping laugh it up by the orangutans and giraffes. They also get married a few scenes after, "Wow this movie honestly doesn't care about any kind of development!" 
This film wants to be a John Woo film so bad it's almost humiliating. There are a couple of boob shots which is another dumb reason not to turn it off and give up on the film--that's only part of the reward you'll receive for slugging forth. One scene that's even more smaltzy than the suicide drama involves Huei and his best friend played by Lung Siu-Wah, who's name is finally revealed as Sen (although one insensitive character called him Gook and for a second, I thought that was his name)!


Hey look it's Fatty Cheng with an MC Hammer high top fade as the 2nd gun man

Sen begins to go ape shit and takes out his maniacal rage on a poor hooker. It's very disturbing! Meanwhile, Ping puts together an all female fighting force to decimate the asshole she believes killed her husband. Towards the end, the storyline eventually catches up to everything and it was easier to follow. 

Hold still I'm trying to give you a magical Zohan style hair cut!

This one proves that you can have a ton of action sex and violence but if the story is incoherent, it's not a complete film. Diet John Woo is the generic label I'm slapping this one with. It's worth checking out just to see how strangely it evolves but not that satisfying. 

A NO BUDGET EARNEST AFFAIR WITH BUCKETS OF HEART TO GO AROUND.

SLIGHTLY RECOMMENDED.

Friday, November 20, 2015

Girl In Room 2A


GIRL IN ROOM 2A
Italy, 1974
Directed by: William Rose
Stars: Daniela Giordano, Raf Vallone, John Scanlon, Rosalba Neri, Brad Harris

Reviewed By Michael Hauss

After a fantastic opening scene, where a woman is abducted, drugged and taken to a secret location, hung from a ceiling by her hands and then knifed repeatedly and then cut down and impaled on a stake on the wall by a red masked assailant dressed in ancient executioner clothing (sadly not as campy as the executioner in BLOODY PIT OF HORROR), we are introduced to Margaret (Daniela Giordano) a woman who has just been released from prison for a crime she says she did not commit. She goes to stay at the boarding house of a Mrs. Grant (Giovanna Galetli), whose son Frank (Angelo Infanti) also lives there. The Grant's are nice enough to allow women to stay in room 2A in their boarding house after they are released from jail, but the women keep disappearing from that room. The Margaret character does a lot of hallucinating and seems to be on the verge of a hysterics, but can't muster enough enthusiasm or acting prowess to pull it off.  Daniela Giordano as Margaret seems to play the part with a naive stupidity and really can't figure the role out, nice to look at, but not quite right for the part. Giordano did far better in the films YOUR VICE IS A LOCKED ROOM AND ONLY I HAVE THE KEY (Italy, 1972), the Mario Bava directed film FOUR TIMES THAT NIGHT (Italy, W. Germany, 1972) and  HAVE A NICE FUNERAL MY FRIEND...SARTANA WILL PAY (Italy, Spain, 1970).

These Macramé hangers really spruce up my sex dungeon

We lose all momentum from this point as everyone seems to be hiding something or lying about things, case in point being Frank telling Margaret that his father drowned, but his mother told her he was run over by a driver who had just robbed a supermarket. Frank is a bit of an odd bird, his room is filled with mannequins and a small guillotine, kind of a Norman Bates Momma boy thing going on here. The first night in Margaret's room she finds a blood spot on her carpet and for some reason just cleans it up and then does so again on subsequent nights, no investigating or reporting this oddity, just cleans it up. The film introduces Jack (John Scanlon), who's sister Edie supposedly killed herself at the Grant' s house, he does not buy that it was suicide and asks Margaret to help him by spying around the house. Jack eventually gets a room at a place across the alley from the boarding house and together with Margaret they begin to try and solve what is going on, but these two ain't no Sherlock Holmes and Doctor Watson, that's for sure, they are downright stupid together and through pure luck figure this mess out. Margaret is aided by a social worker who originally set her up in the Grant house, the social worker is played by the drop dead gorgeous Rosalba Neri (LADY FRANKENSTEIN, Italy, 1971).

The film really bogs down after the beginning scene and is shot in a depressing hue of colors, with very little natural light and many night scenes. A cult is killing beautiful young women after being released from jail, a cult of correctness lead by a Mr. Dresse played by Raf Vallone, they take the law in there own hands, while also wallowing in the filth of their own sadistic sexual pleasures, cleansing evil from beautiful women. The film really takes off in the last 20 minutes or so and really needs to be seen to be believed, as the blood flows freely and torture takes center stage, the ending is crazy, with everything spiraling out of control, it almost makes you forget how boring the rest of the movie was, almost.

Toss me up an ice cold Stella Artois (the most eurotrash beer I can think of)

The talented and very lovely Karin Schubert (COMPANEROS, Italy, Spain, W. Germany, 1970, COLD EYES OF FEAR, Italy, Spain, 1971) is there towards the end to basically get naked and then be killed, again nice to look at, but a waste of a talented actress. Ex-strongman Brad Harris is along also and plays Charlie, who was Jack's sister Edie's ex-boyfriend who got her into some legal problems, he aids Jack in his pursuit to save Margaret after she is kidnapped at the end. So here's the story, watch the first ten minutes, the scenes with Rosalba Neri and the last twenty insane minutes and call it a day.

These face snuggies are cozy

Bottom line is this film was terrible, the performances, the lighting and direction are all lacking. While this film is technically a Giallo film, it builds zero suspense and was very easy to figure out. Watch it but do so with the remote close by, so you can fast forward...because this film is a murky, deceptive affair that can at times be torturous to sit through.

KEEP THAT REMOTE HANDY TO SKIP AROUND.



Get away from me Burt Young, I can smell your gorgonzola cologne from here

Wednesday, November 18, 2015

Night of a 1000 Cats


Night of a 1000 Cats Directed By Rene Cardona Jr. (1972).

All I know about this Rene Cardona Jr. feline "terror-rama" is that supposedly a bunch of cats were really hurt or killed during the production, which is very sad, someone should've reported him to ASPCA. This is the son of the guy who directed Night of the Bloody Apes and the Mexican Santa Claus and he seems to have a deranged fixation on authentic animal cruelty, there's something mentally wrong with this dude! Cardona Jr. seems to always capitalize on real tragedy with gems like Guyana Cult of the Damned, Survive or squeeze out bad rip offs like Tintorera: The Killer Shark. He's got a couple in the Deep Red catalog and is basically in league with most exploitation directors who've committed crimes without unions, or hurt animals for no reason, just another creep I guess.

Anyway, Hugo Stiglitz is in this one as usual, looking more like a life sized 70's hobo doll than his regular Gene Wilder get up. At first I thought my ears were broken but then I listened again and noticed that the voice that dubbed him is set at the wrong pitch (in fact everyone's voice sounds like a slowed down record), it's hysterical, it reaches that Thurl Ravenscroft (aka Tony The Tiger) baritone! 
The original title was Bloodfeast, I wonder if in the 80's, certain Mexican convenient stores tried to pass this off as the H.G. Lewis classic.

The WOW Network proudly presents "Pussy Pit"


Hugo catches a cat who tries to grab his food off the table and hucks it over a giant chain-link fence into a pit of tons of other furry pals. I'm allergic to this movie already, but it's so silly that I can't turn it off. At one point he drowns a cat and it looks incredibly real, any sensitive viewers don't bother watching this, it's terrible and cruel. I thought in Cyclone (which the son of Cardona also directed had a real dog that gets eaten, but it turned out to be a cleverly disguised fake). What I don't understand is how he was able to get away with this shit, well at least he's not as enamored as the most famous animal torture king Ruggero Deodato!

Hugo (who's character name is Hugo!) shocks his girlfriend by showing her his collection of severed heads in jars. Later on, he kills her and it's insinuated that the wet pile of red slithery meat is her all ground up bite sized. He decides that he should grind people up and feed them to the cats but he could easily just go to the store and buy regular food, man rich people are so cheap!


I gotta get this Gordita meat over to Chuys Mexican restaurant 

Oh yeah I forgot to mention Gorgo (or Borgo, the sound was broken through the entire production), his bald server who does his evil bidding and cooks great! What else could you want in a henchman
right?

The soundtrack is funny it's all jungle drums and non impressive surfy guitar. Hugo flies around in his chopper thinking about his pit of cats. I think they should've played "Cat Scratch Fever," now there's a missed opportunity. He seems like a rich philanthropist but mainly flies around and abducts women. All the girls he picks up are sexy, obviously they are shallow and only care about his riches, never mind that he tortures poor cats. They spend 5 minutes having him do wacky hand signals to a girl in a leotard, which I guess is supposed to be funny. I like how in any language this movie would be stupid and not make any sense.

Looks like I got cat meat in the old pushbroom

Nothing about either title makes any sense because there's no blood and the cats are not really a threat, I would've suggested they call this Hugo-copter instead. It gets to the point where the slow ass voices seem like a prank and I never got used to them, they never failed to give me the giggles though. I'm not sure why this is in the Deep Red catalog, maybe because it's so low grade and dumb it must be seen to confirm how bat shit crazy it is like another "Unwatchable" The Black Devil Doll From Hell

THEY SAY A PILE OF SHIT HAS A 1000 EYES, WELL THIS MOVIE IS A PILE OF SHIT!


It's your move Jason Bateman

Monday, November 16, 2015

Yes, Madam

 photo YESMAM.jpg



Yes, Madam (Police Assassins,Karate Tiger, Ultra Force Super Cops, Lady Hard: Great Hong Kong Criminal Investigation)  Directed By Corey Yuen Kwai, Starring Michele Yeoh (1985). 

A flasher with broken teeth and an Afro instead of being cuffed gets his dick smushed in a book by female super cop Michele Yeoh. This is Cynthia "the female Chuck Norris" Rothrock's debut film and probably her best. The lightning quick fight choreography by Yuen and Hoi Mang is all over the place. This is a Dickson Poon production (tee hee) and with a name like that you're guaranteed quality! Poon is the former Mr. Michele Yeoh, but has since divorced the Crouching Tiger temptress, there are tons of HK familiar action stars we've mentioned before in this one like Sammo Hung, Tsui Hark.

 photo Screen shot 2015-10-30 at 12.44.30 AM.png
I'd think twice before saying we look like a nice butch couple
The wild and erratic action is almost on the manic level of Full Contact, which is pretty hard to beat. They rip off John Carpenter and toss in the score for Halloween during suspenseful moments, for instance: when a gangster played by Dick Wei of Zu Warriors and Seven Curse fame uses an apple as a silencer to shoot off some dude's mouth, we hear the famous Michael Myers background stings.

 photo Screen shot 2015-10-30 at 12.26.54 AM.png
Gulp, gimme another hot lead appletini would ya?

I am partial to Tsui Hark as a director more so than an actor, but here he's likable as a character named Panadol, which is a fever reducer like Tylenol. I watched the Chinese language version the first time I saw it, but for this review I'm watching the dubbed one which is unintentionally funny (I normally despise chop socky dubs)! The last time I saw Hark and John Shum Kin-Fun, his balding bespectacled buddy was in the tedious Roboforce (which is in the DR catalog but I have yet to review).

 photo Screen shot 2015-10-30 at 12.35.10 AM.png
Dennis Rodman and Van Damme, are you fucking serious?

All the male characters are especially stupid and make Michele Yeoh, who's daily routine seems to involve causing genital trauma to criminals, look responsible--maybe she should transfer to another precinct. 
Sammo Hung looks weird with died white hair and facial hair that seems painted on, he's no less idiotic than every other schmuck here. The bad comedy threatens to water down the action, but it never really does and there's an even balance.

After 30 mins, Rothrock shows up and kicks a guy in the face (her leg looks like it snapped off disembodied style and beat the poor dude in the chin). The ass kicking beauty looks really cute in short hair, her and Michele seem like they stopped off at the same salon. After interrogating Eddie Maher, she crunches a lit cigarette on his face! The fight choreography is fucking bonkers, Rothrock is definitely the bad cop in the police relationship between her and Yeoh.
Hark's character almost dies a few times, he gets strangled and hung from a tall building, which is played up as comedy and in response to Cynthia's police brutality, he calls her a nasty white bitch!

 photo Screen shot 2015-10-30 at 12.43.14 AM.png
Do you think I can pull off this Ninja Turtle April O Neil jumpsuit?

Whenever they switch from just wacky comedy to no fighting, the film is pretty much intolerable. One character's name is Aspirin? Funny right? 

The fighting resumes at a nightclub as the two female cops beat the piss out of suspects and one innocent bystander's head sails through a Nacho stand, spraying glass shards everywhere. I feel as if most of the budget on this film went into medical attention that the actors really endured--those stunts look excruciatingly realistic! This flick is on the same level as the Tiger Cage series which will be reviewed eventually.

 photo Screen shot 2015-10-30 at 12.50.12 AM.png
Medic, we need more hot molten cheese and glass shards pronto!

The two lady cops are very sexy, if only there was a shower scene to break up the appallingly bad comedy! Yeoh and Rothrock bust out some show stopping violent skills, stick around to see them put to the test against a knife wielding Asian Borat look-a-like who gets a painful looking drop kick into an aquarium.
If you like a mixture of shitty comedy and cute babes breaking faces in a full throttle non stop way than this one is your dog. It used to be available on Hulu and Netflix but has since disappeared. Check it out on Youtube for a limited time.

ASS KICKING BABES A MILLION TIMES MORE ENTERTAINING THAN A STACK OF TEPID CHUCK NORRIS FLICKS!


Monday, November 9, 2015

Vampire Hookers


Vampire Hookers Directed By Cirio Santiago, Starring John Carradine (1978).

It's been a billion months since I've watched a Filipino horror flick but this one is so retarded and fun that it trapped me like a fly in a spider web. John Carradine who scarily enough secured his dignity way into his 80's by appearing in awful flicks to pay his rent. He'd never punk out like his offspring David and go out in a blaze of autoerotic asphyxiation! It's such a shame that he died that embarrassing way but nevertheless I can still enjoy his work without that bit of grossness tarnishing the Carradine legacy. I just turn on Circle Of Iron and it all melts away!


That's right I got a stable of buxom vampire bitches

There's some badly dubbed hot vampire babes, one of them is played by Lenka Novak who I remember as the pretty blonde in Kentucky Fried Movie who says "Show me your nuts". 
Hold on a second cult movie fans, if you're thinking this might be another dull Filopinoploitation, don't turn it off just yet because none other than "Nathan Arizona" actor Trey Wilson shows up as a countrified sailor. I was never really a fan of this film genre until I saw Mark Hartley's excellent "Machete Maidens Unleashed" doc. 


Is that you Ken Jeong, you're so brave

After Love at First Bite, it seemed like the disco era wanted to capitalize on hammy vampire flicks. Just watch that movie now and try to convince me that it should've inspired anyone to bother ripping it off. I was shocked to find out this came before the George Hamilton snooze fest and was written by Howard Cohen who scripted Unholy Rollers and Sat the 14th (which is less amusing but almost the same in vaudeville style yuks).


Indigestion is for pussies!

I've wanted to watch this ever since I saw the ad in the first Psychotronic Video Guide and now Vinegar Syndrome has it available on a double disc with Death Force.
Carradine spouts lots of poetry and whines that nobody gets it. He constantly drinks Bloody Marys, he must get heartburn all the time! He normally bugs the shit out of me but here he's tolerable. The Navy caricatures of stupid horn dog sailors trying to score with any street skank seems pretty justified.  


A Samuel L. Brokowitz production

The round headed Pavo is played by Filipinosploitation staple Vic Diaz who's not a vampire yet for some reason but lives in the crypt with the rest of the bloodsuckers. I guess you could say he's an Asian Renfield, only he's incredibly dumb and doesn't know all the Universal Monster methods to exterminate the undead like garlic and crosses. He brings some into their underground lair and almost fucks everything up! Diaz was in most of the Jack Hill Pam Grier WIP flicks along with Sid Haig and also the epic Raw Force!



Stop trying to emulate Dali's " In Voluptas Mors" you're doing it wrong

Three girls rhythmically gyrate on a bed with their butts in the air and lethargically screw another sailor who I didn't much care for as they show pictures of Goat people in Kamasutra positions! If that's your cup of tea you may need psychiatric help or perhaps you are a 12 year old with no internet connection. It all ends with Pavo farting really loud and a hysterical soft rock number about how "warm blood isn't all these vampires suck!" 

HIGHLY RECOMMENDED!

Friday, November 6, 2015

Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers


Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers Directed By Fred Olen Ray, Starring Michele Bauer (1988).

From the warning explaining that these are real chainsaws to the Cramps crossbred with The Monkees squawky sax song over the credits, it seems like I should be all fired up for a USA Up All Night Sawploitation classic, but my nerves are shot and I'm paranoid because I am aware that we're about to get waist deep in the cheesy swamp of Fred Olen Ray's world. Ray and Jim Wynorski have a couple of good eggs in their wretched careers, Chopping Mall is probably better than F.O.R.'s entire catalog though. In the T&A exploitation war Jim totally out ranks him. Give this one a chance though it's more fun than I'd ever imagined it could've been.
I mean there's the beautiful Michele Bauer (aka former porn star Pia Snow from Cafe Flesh here, getting totally full bush naked, while wiggling and dismembering some poor dope). She fastens an adorable shower cap to her head to deflect the sinew and splatter which rains over her and a velvet Elvis. From that little five minute scene, I know like the Hermans Hermits song that "I'm in to something good".


You can cover me in guts and gunk but don't damage my velvet Elvis

Gunnar Hansen is a cult leader/pimp and it's kind of interesting how he's the only internationally famous fictional cannibal lunatic who's never gotten back into his Leatherface costume and reprised that role. I swear Hookers might be even better than Cyclone and that for me was the Olen Ray benchmark of quality, this one is light years ahead in likability and the naked babes certainly rack it up a notch (Heh, Rack).


That bitch better have my money and my headcheese croissant 

It's got this whole poseur gum shoe film noir angle that gets old fast, but it doesn't really effect the pacing oddly enough. Jay Richardson, who's acting career is stuck in late night Skin-A-Max purgatory, plays the dull main character. Fox Harris, the neutron bomb mad scientist from Repo Man shows up as a sleazy moronic John named Herman who gets smacked in the noggin by Ester Elise, a cute vixen who looks like a smaller breasted version of Christy Canyon. 


Help, this bat is stuck in my beehive 

All the while Gunnar is lurking in the shadows scoping out the murders committed by his hookers. I remember having a serious crush on Michele Bauer after seeing her in some late night cable garbage one night in middle school, she's very pretty but those boobs are too hard and fake looking!


I'm gearing up for own horror workout video BUY NOW, operators are standing by!

Linnea Quigley shows up too, you might as well call this an "all star scream queen-o-rama". Brinke Stevens is mysteriously absent though, so it's not a complete event. 
Leatherface wears an Egyptian Sphinx necklace and seems related to Fuad Ramses (or possibly the schmuck from Mardi Gras Massacre). That connection gets even more interesting after I found out Dukey Flyswater (aka Michael Sonye) who plays a snaggle toothed bartender wrote the screenplay for Blood Diner, which is basically an unofficial sequel to the H.G. Lewis staple. Sonye is also responsible for the creation of Frozen Scream, one of the lamest video nasty even conceived!! I'm always baffled at how anyone can enjoy that film on any level and there's an entire chapter devoted to FS in "Nightmare U.S.A". and I'm not gonna slam Stephen Thrower because he's friends with everyone I know. I just don't get it and I don't think I ever will.

Quigley, who plays a virgin runaway--(Haw, nice casting)--feels sorry for the dumb ass detective and wants to leave the chainsaw cult. According to IMDB.com, Richardson actually head butted Linnea in real life, what a tard! Maybe that head damage later rattled her brain enough to wanna marry Al Goldstein, (I still can't believe that ever happened). 
HCH is likeable trash, the girls are hot and though the gore is minimal it's schlocky and fun. It held my interest the entire time which is unheard of in a Fred Olen Ray flick, I wasn't even wasted either!

FOR A GOOD TIME, CHECK THIS SHIT OUT, BUT DON'T EXPECT IT EVER TO HAPPEN AGAIN!

BUY HERE (OR WATCH ON YOUTUBE)
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