Female Demon: Ohyaku (1968)

Female Demon: Ohyaku

Directed by Yoshihiro Ishikawa. Starring: Junko Miyazono

Reviewed By Michael Hauss

This film is a blood-soaked masterpiece of womanly revenge. The story of although not a virtuous or innocent woman, but a woman nonetheless who is pushed into this undesirable life because of the scar on her back, which is not merely a scar, but, a sense of pain, shame, and hate all manifested in that bodily mutilation. Oh, but, that scar does not detract a thing from the beauty of Ohyaku (Junko Miyazono), because she is a woman of exquisite grace, with skin so soft and inviting, that it’s as if the devil himself had granted her this divinely, but devilishly intoxicating form.

But, an easy life was never in the cards for Ohyaku, since the moment her mother decided to throw herself and young Ohyaku, off a bridge, into a raging river below. The fall from the bridge kills Ohyaku’s mother, but the young girl survives with a large scar upon her back and a multitude of ones inside her. Ohyaku, grows into a beautiful woman and becomes an attraction at a carnival, where she is a tightrope walker of amazing agility. One-night things get set in motion to forever alter the life of Ohyaku, which pushes her to the edge, from whence she can never return. In the crowd that night are two men, who will forever change the course of her life. First there is Shinkuro (Kunio Murai), who is in the crowd scouting her for a job, after meeting and falling in love with her, decides momentarily not to involve her in his plans of robbing the mint. The other man in the crowd Master Sengoku (Koji Nanbara), who will bestow pain, hurt and send Ohyaku, to the point of breaking, only to have her push back with a determined, almost unworldly determination for vengeance.

Come on Mr. Softee, I don't have all day!

Master Sengoku, the most important bureaucrat at the mint, has rapist designs on Ohyaku, whom he assumes is an easy mark, because of her being part of the carnival, and due to his social standing. Problem is Ohyaku, will have none of his groping, rapist, self-entitlement, escaping from him with the help of Shinkuro. When called on the carpet by the carnival owner, who tells Ohyaku, that he could have his head chopped off because of her insubordination towards Sengoku, demands her to return to visit Sengoku again that night. Ohyaku, tells the carnival owner, that, “I’ll no longer be a man’s toy, even if it kills me.” Ohyaku, goes on to say, “I’d like to kill all men who abuse women with power and money,” to which the old man says, “The child of a whore, should behave like a whore.”

Shinkuro, tracks down the drunken and hurt Ohyaku that night and they tell their stories of pain and anguish, the scar proving that she is the child of a whore and inside that scar her mother cries, because they share the same blood. Shinkuro, has also lived in a world of pain and rejection, including his lack of opportunities because of his being unable to bribe his way into a position and his mother killing herself for his inheritance. Shinkuro tells Ohyaku, “You see no one is without a scar on their body or heart. But, if you let it fester in your mind, you’ll never move forward." The pair falls in love and Shinkuro’s plan to rob the mint, is aided by an inside man at the mint named Hyoe Sakaki, a childhood friend of Shinkuro’s.

while you're up there, would you mind hanging the laundry.

Minokichi of Otowa (Tomisaburo Wakayama), a local boss, arrives and tries to dissuade Shinkuro from robbing the well-guarded mint, telling him, how twenty years ago, when he and his men attempted to rob the mint, how he lost everything including wife, kid, all his crew and his arm, telling Shinkuro you shouldn’t cross a dangerous bridge. But undeterred Shinkuro continues on with plans for the robbery, when is pulled off, successfully. But it seems the inside man Hyoe Sakaki, was only doing it to benefit the careers of Master Sengoku and himself, to bribe themselves into more important positions, so with a force of men,  they attempt to retrieve the gold from the robbers, which had been well hidden beforehand. After killing all the other robbers, they wound Shinkuro, and spare the life of Ohyaku. Taken back to the mint, after the bound Ohyaku is raped by Sengoku, Shinturo, then placed in a guillotine with a rope tied to Ohyaku’s hair while heat is introduced on the platform where she stands, her hair being the only thing holding the blade back from cutting Shinkuro’s head off. Sengoku, tells Shinkuro, that if he wants to live, and wishes to end Ohyaku's suffering, then tell them where the gold is hidden. Slowly blood pours down Ohyaku’s face from the weight of the blade, pulling her hair out, causing Shinkuro to tell them where he'd hidden the gold.  A moment after Shinkuro tells them where the gold is… the rope is cut and the blade comes down chopping off Shinkuro’s head, and the torrents of blood from his body starts cascades down onto the floor.

Ohyaku, is given something worse than death, she’s sent to the notorious Sado island prison, to work in the gold mine. Once she's introduced into the men only prison, she is quickly accosted by a few of the men, until a man named Bunzo, steps forth to defend her, telling her, Buznzo (Koji Sekiyama), the iron-barbarian will take care of you now. Bunzo, even attempts to rape her, down the line, driven mad with her beauty, until she splits his skull with a rock, telling him that when and if she decides to give it to him, it will be her decision. The Jailer’s wife, notices the lovely Ohyaku and decides that she could sell her for a nice bit of money, but first wants to tattoo her exquisite skin. Ohyaku, decides she wants a large demon tattooed to her back, to cover her scar. The jailer’s wife, just like the men who encounter Ohyaku, wants her sexually and violates her after using a needle to paralyze her, which she plans on doing when Hyoe Sakaki comes to visit, because he has a rapist eye on Ohyaku also. But Ohyaku decides to play the jailer and his wife against each other by telling the jailer she want to run off with him and then telling the wife her husband wants to kill her and vice versa, this deception ending in bloodshed and eventually death for both. When all is said and done, Ohyaku sails off with Bunzo to pay a visit to the mint and Master Sengoku.

While women in Japanese films had been relegated to wives, mothers, daughter, prostitutes and victims for many years, this film while not the first to give a little female violent liberation, it is the one of the films along with the Red Peony series, you can point to that got the Pinky Violence genre kickstarted. Two more films would follow in this series, Quick-Draw Okatsu (1969) and Okatsu the Fugitive (1969), but were stand-alone films, that were not continuations of the previous films, with Ohyaku, even receiving a name change to Okatsu. The director of this film Yoshihiro Ishikawa, also directed the excellent Bakeneko: A Vengeful Spirit in 1968, and The Ghost of Otama Pond (1960), for Shintoho, where he was a writer, director and apprentice to the legendary Nobuo Nakagawa, on the legendary J-Horror films; Kaidan Kasane-ga-fuchi (1957), Black Cat Mansion (1958), and the definitive version of The Ghost of Yotsuya (1959). The exotic beauty Junko Miyazono, appeared in a host of films. besides the Ohyaku/Okatsu flicks, including Samurai Wolf (1966) Eleven Samurai (1967) and the first film in the Toei Delinquent Girl Boss series; Tokyo Bad Girls (1970). The legendry Tomisaburô Wakayama plays Minokichi of Otowa, but, is best known as Ogami Itto, in the Lone Wolf and Cub series of films. Wakayama was the brother of Shintaro Katsu, most famously known as the blind swordsman in the long running series of film and television shows based on the Zatoichi character.

A film of at times deep misogyny, that never attempts to hide this hate throughout the first three quarters of the movie, but, allows the Ohyaku character a chance to extract some revenge against not only the men in her life who wronged her, but also the bureaucracy that kept the social classes repressed and held those in lower classes in total disregard. Produced by Toei and released in 1968. Released by Synapse films on DVD with a beautiful black and white, English sub-titled print, audio commentary by Japanese film expert Chris D, trailers for all three films, and other goodies. 

Kung Fu Cult Master (1993)

KUNG FU CULT MASTER (1993)

(aka “Lord of the Wu Tang”, aka “Kung Fu Master”, aka “Evil Cult USA”, aka “The Evil Cult”)

Dir. Wong Jing

No title translation? That's racist.

Review by Goat Scrote

     “Kung Fu Cult Master”  has all of the essential ingredients I look for in a kung fu movie, which is actually just three things. I want lots of exciting fights, cool stunts, and badly translated subtitles. This movie totally delivers. Bonus points for wire-fu superpowers. Double bonus points for the fact that this particular film mixes vulgar dick jokes with the quest for martial arts enlightenment. 

     The movie was directed and written by Hong Kong legend Wong Jing, from the novel The Heaven Sword and Dragon Saber by Louis Cha Leung-yung (pen name Jin Yong). This novel has spawned several film versions and a TV mini-series. The fabulous Sammo Hung directs the action sequences, handles the fight choreography, and also has a part in the movie. Jet Li leads the cast.

Swords are crossed but balls aren't touching.
Verdict: not gay.

     Wong Jing’s public statements seem to mirror my feeling that no matter what other virtues or faults a film possesses, it absolutely must not be boring. The only way that a film (or any artwork) can truly fail is by failing to engage the viewer. By that standard, Mr. Wong rarely fails. In this case he has made a fast-paced, funny, weird movie packed with spectacle. “Kung Fu Cult Master” is a flawed but highly entertaining fantasy wuxia action epic. It runs too long and it’s very confusing, but it’s also a lot of fun and definitely worth a look.

     If you can accept that super-awesome kung-fu magic fights are happening, and you don’t need to know too much about exactly why they are happening, this is a movie for you. Some of the flicks we review are a real chore to watch over and over again, but I didn’t mind so much with this one. The plot is one of the most convoluted I’ve ever tried to review, and I couldn’t understand it until I found three different versions - an excellent English dub and two different subtitled versions - and watched them with a lot of comparison, rewinding, and note-taking. Figuring out who was who in the sprawling cast was a minor nightmare. It is really difficult to make sense of the complex political conflict behind the action, which involves at least ten different clans plus the Yuan government, all intriguing against one another.

I will now explain why I'm divorcing you
through interpretive dance.

     The thing to focus on is the personal journey of the hapless protagonist from bullied orphan weakling to ultimate master of kung fu. The epic scale of the movie remains grounded in the human story of a kid who’s had a hard life finally growing up by collecting kung fu “Ievel ups". I'm not sure that's very practical as a life lesson, but fortunately, I also don't care.

     The film begins with a lot of exposition. There are two main groups vying against each other. The “orthodox” faction is composed of six different martial arts clans allied under the leadership of Shaolin. The other five members are Wudang, Emei, Kun Lun, Hung Tung, and Wah San.

     The second faction is the Ming Sect, aka Evil Cult, aka Fire Clan, headquartered on Bright Peak. They are outsiders from Persia who want to bring down the Yuan government. The Ming Sect is led by four elders: Queen of Purple Dragon; King of White Eagle; King of Gold Lion; And King of Green Bat.

"My beard will eat your mustache."

     The minions of the different sects are conveniently color-coded, which is good because otherwise there would be absolutely no way to tell who is fighting whom. The Shaolin have saffron robes with shaved heads. The Wudang have blue robes and hair in topknots. The Emei are nuns who wear white or light brown. The Kun-lun dress all in brown. The Hung Tung wear red hooded robes. The Wah San wear black. The Ming Sect robe colors tend to match their elders’ colors, purple, silver, gold, and green, but one of the Ming armies also wears red so I don’t know what that’s about.

"Fame! I'm gonna live fore-e-ver..."

     The factions are seeking the knowledge contained in an artifact called the Lunar Scroll, which will make its possessor the greatest martial artist in the world. Two magic swords, Dragonslayer and Starcatcher, each contain half of the scroll. Dragonslayer is in the hands of the Golden Lion clan elder Tse Shun (Yan Huaili) of the Ming Sect, who slew its rightful owner. A wicked Emei sect nun called No-Mercy (Sun Meng-Quan) has the sword Starcatcher.

     One of the students of the orthodox Wudang, Chang Tsui San (Frances Ng) defies the rules and befriends Tse Chun of the Ming Sect. He also falls in love with the daughter of the King of White Eagle, Yan So So (Sharla Cheung). When Tse Chun obtains the Dragonslayer sword by killing its rightful owner, all three go into hiding on an island. There Chang Tsui San and Yan So So have a child named Mo-Kei who is the god-son of Tse Shun.

Portrait of the martial artist as a young man.

     The couple has come out of hiding to celebrate the 100th birthday of the Grandmaster of Wudang. A pair of kung-fu fighters known as the Two Jinxes show up (Leung Kar-Yan and Zhang Chun-Zhong). They ambush the family and take ten-year-old Mo-Kei hostage. The Grandmaster of Wudang, a fellow named Chang San Fung (Sammo Hung), flies onto the scene like Superman and tries to settle the situation down. When the Two Jinxes have the audacity to threaten the Master, he opens up a can of Sammo-sized whup-ass on them. The bad guys really ought to know better than to fuck with a 100-year-old guy who has white eyebrows down to his nipples. Haven’t these dumb fuckers watched Kill Bill? A serious butt-kicking ensues and I can already tell I am going to like this movie, because it is  full of wire-fu stunts and magic.

Want to see me crunch off the front of his skull
and slap his brain out through his face?

     The bad guys manage to hit Mo-Kei with a poisonous move called the Jinx’s Palm. The Grandmaster is away getting an antidote for Mo-Kei when the other five clans show up in force, each trying to leverage the situation to get their hands on Tse Shun’s magic sword.  The elders of the kung fu world and their armies of minions clearly have the advantage over Mo-Kei’s family. Mo-Kei’s father laughs at all of them and uses the power of pure spite to blow his own heart open all over his enemies rather than betray his friend.

     Mo-Kei’s mother tricks the elders into arguing amongst themselves, and lies about where to find the King of Golden Lion. She commits suicide while hugging her young son. She drenches him in her blood just moments after she tells him to avenge his father and warns him to never trust a woman. That is some fucked up parenting right there and psychiatry won’t be invented for a few centuries… so I guess you just walk off, little traumatized Mo-Kei.

This image haunts my nightmares.

     Whew. That brings us to the 15 minute mark, only 1 hour and 25 minutes to go.

     With backstory out of the way, the movie fast-forwards seven years. The grown up Mo-Kei (Jet Li) still suffers ill effects from being poisoned as a child. He lives at Wudang Mountain with Grandmaster Chang San Fung, the incredible 107 year old virgin. Sifu claims that retaining all of his sexual energy is part of his power, and he likes to talk about the outrageous throbbing potency of his morning wood.

     The students at Wudang like to bully Mo-Kei because his health prevents him from fighting back. His rotten cousin Sung Ching Su (Collin Chou) orchestrates the abuse. A visiting girl from the Emei sect, Chow Chi-Yu (Gigi Lai) joins in, playing a prank on Mo-Kei which leads to his being seriously beaten by the students. Sung Ching Su threatens to chop off Mo-Kei’s hand and murder him.

Mellow yellow.

     Without warning a mysterious woman in red shows up on the rooftops and helps Mo-Kei. She uses long chains binding her wrists together as weapons to fight with. He and his mystery ally are flung into a vine-filled ravine by Chow Chi-Yu with the power of the sword Starcatcher. Scummy cousin Sung Ching Su and sadistic nun Chow Chi-Yu cover their tracks by telling the Wudang elders that Mo-Kei was attacked and murdered by the woman in red, and they exacted justice by killing her.

     It turns out the woman in red, Siu Chu (Chingmy Yau), is sworn to serve the family of the King of White Eagle, Mo-Kei’s grandfather. Her hands are chained together because she offended White Eagle. Sleeping next to Siu Chu in the ravine, Mo-Kei wakes up with his very first boner and worries that he might have made her pregnant simply by getting morning wood in her vicinity.

You have successfully transmitted a baby into my body!

     A cannibalistic paraplegic with telekinetic kung-fu powers has lived in the ravine for decades. I couldn’t verify who played this part, but he is awesome. He flies around strapped to a giant boulder and makes all kinds of creepy threats. This section is surreal, funny, and just a little scary too. After Mo-Kei says he will never pollute his mind with the hermit’s kung fu, the magic hermit mind-rapes his own knowledge into Mo-Kei by clubbing him with vines and contorting his "student's" body. I don’t know how that works, but whatever. It turns out that this was the young man’s plan all along, since he knew about the hermit and what his powers could do. They fight and Mo-Kei is victorious.

Somebody hose off the 30 years of accumulated stink.

     Mo-Kei gets super glowy kung fu powers from the Great Solar School, the secret knowledge of the cannibal hermit. He becomes hard to hurt or kill, and he can shoot energy blasts out of his hands. This is also the key to completely curing him of the effects of the Jinx’s Palm. Now he can avenge his parents at last.

     At an inn, the pair encounters yet another mysterious woman, this one wearing a gold crown and leading elite Yuan government troops. Among her minions are the Two Jinxes, but there are far too many troops for Mo-Kei to start trouble even with his Solar Stance.

Harry Potter is so fucking jealous right now.

     Elsewhere, the elders of the six clans make plans to attack the Ming Sect at their headquarters on Bright Peak. The elders of the Wah Sah Clan (one played by Tenky Tin Kai-Man) are hilariously sleazy, letting slip their desire to steal both of the swords and molest the Emei nuns. The meeting is interrupted by one of the Ming Sect elders, the King of Green Bat, Wai Yat Siu (Richard Ng). He is some kind of living vampire. He can fly, drinks blood, and can turn into an actual bat. He is probably my favorite character in this movie, even though has a secondary part. He escapes and warns the Ming Sect of the coming attack by the six clans.

     There is a massive battle between the followers of the two factions. They use crazy cool battle tactics, nifty martial arts superpowers, magic, weird mechanical weapons, and more. The nun No-Mercy shows just how powerful a mistress of kung fu can be when armed with a magical sword.

BECAUSE I'M BATMAN!

     The Ming Sect has been warned to expect an assassin pretending to be the “dead” Mo-Kei, so when he shows up for real he ends up having to fight them with his brand new kung fu. Then No-Mercy recognizes him, and both sides of the battle are after him!

     Mo-Kei and Siu Chu are forced to flee to the tomb of the two masters who originally created the magic swords, a taboo place where the clans dare not follow. They find a monk there who reveals that he infiltrated the Shaolin 20 years ago, he’s working for the government, and he is using the Six Clans to destroy the Ming Clan. They fight and Mo-Kei punches the false monk so hard it snaps his fingers off. The injured villain uses trickery to make his escape.

"By the power of Grayskull!"

     Siu Chu helps Mo-Kei discover the secret of “Magic Stance” which is hidden in the tomb, written in Persian so that only Sui Chu is able to read it. The magic stance makes Mo-Kei even more powerful, since he is immediately able to absorb kung fu knowledge thanks to his Solar School upgrade. According to Siu Chu, the instructions direct the reader to deliver the secrets of the stance to Tse Shun. This raises the question of her motives. Is she also trying to find the sword Dragonslayer?

Meh, I've been on worse blind dates.

     Meanwhile the tide of battle turns agains the Ming Clan. Green Bat is injured, and White Eagle is impaled by at least half a dozen swords. He handles it like a boss, though, snapping the blades with his body and then pulling them out.

     Mo-Kei bursts through the wall like Kool-Aid Man and explains the conspiracy by the Yuan to make the clans fight each other. The Shaolin refuse to believe one of their masters was a traitor, and they send a champion to fights Mo-Kei. The good-hearted hero shows mercy after he beats the monk… so of course No Mercy steps up to the plate, because she fuckin’ hates mercy. Mo-Kei reveals his new Magic Stance by casually taking her sword, slapping her repeatedly, and cutting the chains the bind his friend Shiu Chu. The Emei continue to fight, and Mo-Kei is run through with a sword. This annoys him, and he blasts the offender away with chi power. The Wudang, out of respect for the honor and skill of their opponents, unite with the Ming to defend the injured hero. Mo-Kei entrusts the Wudang clan with Starchaser.

My eyebrows are invincible against your kung fu.

     The Ming Sect has a law that they must obey the master of Magic Stance, and they unite behind Mo-Kei as the new Clan Master. One oily advisor immediately appears from under a rock and tempts Mo-Kei with power... he could replace the Emperor! 

     The Wudang, while traveling home, are ambushed with a poison which steals their kung fu. All of the antidote in the town has been bought by one person, so Mo-Kei goes to Green Willow Villa where his true enemy is revealed. The leader of the Yuan government conspiracy is Princess Chao Min (Sharla Cheung, who also plays Mo-Kei’s mother!). She is  the woman he briefly saw at the inn earlier, commanding the Two Jinxes. She has been manipulating the clan infighting from the start. It appears that Chao Min has stolen the Starcatcher from the Wudang, but when the Ming elders try to recover the blade, it turns out to be a trick. The elders are exposed to poison which renders them helpless after they have traveled a short distance from the Villa.

Don't squeeze the Chao Min!

     Mo-Kei returns to confront the villainess. Chao Min gloats about the poison and performs a sneak attack with darts. Next she shoots spear-tipped strings from the musical instrument she is playing. The two go hand to hand and she proves to be a very formidable opponent. Mo-Kei throws people around Jedi-style, causes an earthquake, and strips off half of Chao Min’s clothes. She remains calm and composed the whole time, and demands that in return for the antidote he perform three favors for her, as long as they don’t violate his code of honor. Chao Min’s first spiteful demand is that Mo-Kei can never marry Siu Chu.

     The Emei nuns come across the helpless Ming elders. Siu Chu makes an agreement with No-Mercy. If Siu Chu can survive three strikes from the cruel nun, the Emei will spare the elders. Just as the lethal third blow lands, Mo-Kei leaps in to the rescue. Shortly afterward, the injured No-Mercy and the other nuns are captured by government troops.

No-Mercy and her Total-Lack-of-Humanity Dancers.

     The Shaolin turn out to have been slaughtered, and whoever did it left behind graffiti blaming the Ming. A fake Shaolin monk shows up at Wudang and attempts to assassinate Grandmaster Chang San-Fung. In the confusion, the scumbag cousin Sung Ching Su stabs his Grandmaster. Ching Su reveals he is working for the government. Government agents attempt to bribe the Wudang, but the injured Grandmaster fights them.

     Mo-Kei arrives and uses Magic Stance to go all Keanu Reeves on the government bad guys. He grabs their swords out of their hands with his mind and crushes them into a ball. Princess Chao Min shows up again and for her second favor, she demands that Mo-Kei refrain from using the Solar Stance or the Magic Stance while fighting the Two Jinxes. The Grandmaster gives him an instant Tai Chi lesson so he has a fighting chance. Eventually he prevails over the Jinxes in suitably melodramatic fashion.

Chime for me to send you to bell!

     Mo-Kei owes the princess one more favor. She wants him to come see her in the capital where she will allow him to fulfill his debt to her. It ends with this cliffhanger, and a whole lot of loose story threads dangling. Who is Siu Chu really working for? What happened to No-Mercy, Chow Chi-Yu, and the other Emei, Shaolin, and Wudang hostages? Will the swords be reunited and the secret of the Lunar Scroll revealed? Did they ever go back to help the crazy hermit like they promised? This movie was supposed to be the start of a trilogy but it wasn’t financially successful enough to earn a sequel and so we will never know what was in store for Mo-Kei.

Bonus nightmare fuel. Come sit on Santa's face!

Noooo-one expects the Spanish Inquisition!

Jet Li casts Cone of Cold on the Demogorgon.

Retroactive abortion is an actual thing, right?

Angel

Angel. Directed by Robert Vince O’Neill, starring Donna Wilkes (1984).

Image Entertainment/ New World pictures put out an amazing DVD that includes all Angel films in the series on one disc for a small price, I and Mrs. Crank were stoked to find this out, all for 9$, it's a steal I tells ya!

The first time I saw the sleazy cover of a Jekyll and Hyde-esque hooking Donna Wilkes on the cover, I was sold. “High School student by day, Hooker by Night”, what a top notch tagline that was! I saw the VHS tape most likely at Q video (a long defunct chain that was half record store and partial rent out video store). This is also the first place I saw Color Me Blood Red and George Romero’s Martin. I was middle school age at the time and was trapped in adolescence. I seem to remember seeing a clip of Dick Shawn in drag on WDZL in Florida, the same channel I watched the women in prison flick Vendetta on, man what a glorious time, when you could jump stumble face first into high grade sleaze accidentally on TV between reruns of My Three Sons or The Jetsons. That channel really destroyed my fragile mind and turned me into the obsessive gore-nerd that I am today.

psychedelically speaking, I'm talking about blowjobs.

Robert Vincent O’Neill (not to be confused with Vince Neil or the former buffoon of Motley Crue, who’s Vegas restaurant currently offers a margarita served in a toilet bowl).

O’ Neiil cut his writing chops on SWV classics like The Mighty Gorca, Psycho Lover and one of my all time favorite scummy flicks, Vice Squad!

We’re back in the thick of desperation and terror or the streets of mid 80’s Hollywood Blvd. Right off the jump start, one obvious flaw here is that Craig Safan (who’s usually a competent score writer, tries to ape Bill Conti with a syrupy “after school special theme”. I mean we get it—ramp up the sympathy for the main character. I guess it worked for Bad Boys with Sean Penn, perhaps the producer figured it would work here.

I wonder how many of those Danish butter cookies I could fit in my mouth?

Shrimpy Molly (Donna Wilkes), who you may remember from such classics as Jaws 2, Grotesque with Linda Blair (which I reviewed for Monster #31 or Schizoid is the title character. There’s some prime "West Coast Deuce" footage on par with Vice Squad. Molly (aka Angel)'s surrogate family is a cowboy (played by Motel Hell’s Rory Calhoun), Dick Shawn in drag (or LSD from The Producers) and Susan Tyrell (as Solly the punk landlord with a heart of gold). There’s a preverbal fly in the ointment of our drama though, an egg sucking mommy fixated serial killer played by John Deil, who a few years later ended up on Miami Vice and played a corporate psycho in Mo' Money. His type of wacko registers somewhere in between the police lineup of the dude from 10-Midnight or the ninja psycho from Fear City. There’s even some off screen necrophilia, highlighted by a jaunty “summer place knockoff” theme! Why, who the fuck knows? 

my spirograph formed into a mugshot somehow.

I like how even though the main character was interchangeable (they replaced Molly, 3 times), Susan Tyrell and Rory as Solly and The Cowboy returned for their paychecks in each sequel. I should also mention that Tyrell’s dykey character looks almost exactly like Susan Lowe’s from Desperate Living.

there's no toilets in Mortville or in this apartment complex either.

When the serial killer character strips down and gets in a washtub and scrubs the blood off his nude body, it’s really funny if you play Yakety Sax over that segment. Cliff Gorman plays a helpful cop who has sympathy for Angel and her pals. The only movie I’ve ever seen him in was Boys in the Band, a William Friedkin melodrama, where he plays a screeching over the top effeminate gay character.

Farmer Vincent? You must have me confused with someone else, I'm a cowboy.

The scene where the three high school boys abduct Molly and threaten to rape her is pretty surreal, one guy squeals “let’s see that whisker biscuit” and they all proudly boast that they will all get her pregnant. The story arc takes all sorts of winds and turns and it's basically leading up to her becoming a cop and getting off the streets. Go out of your way to see, this flick though, I never get tired of watching it and each sequel gets more ridiculous. Betsy Russell, the girl they replace her with in Avenging Angel is pretty foxy too.

HIGHLY RECOMMENDED.