Tuesday, November 24, 2015

Dignified Killers

Dignified Killers Directed By Chen Chu-Huang, Starring Lam Wai (1991).

Lately on YouTube there's been a rash of videos boasting how these are Wu Tang approved films, which is pretty cool for me because I get to review flicks that are also in the DR catalog, so I really can't bitch about this. Fuck Redbox, I mean it would be pretty sweet if they had their own 80's retro video store that only stocked Golden Harvest or Dickson Poon productions I'd go every weekend!
We got all the whole Wu-Tang collection of Kung-fu and Asian gore plus 9 copies of One Crazy Summer

DK starts off in a rundown gambling den, I mean these seem like some broke ass gangsters, their hideout looks like an abandoned construction site. One dude (Lam Wai) sporting a thin villainy mustache looks like he's a contender in the Chow Yun-Fat look a like contest. A few dozen ariel blood sprays and Ginzu knife fightings in, I'm pretty comfortable that this is gonna rule. Fights spill into various rooms and situations like they're a natural event, 
arms flap, some are hacked off and tables are thrown around non stop, it's a bit much you might say.

Hong Kong Fooey I'll have you know is quicker than the human eye

Fake Chow's partner has a highly psychotic look on his face its unintentionally alarming.
A dude spits blood at the screen Gene Simmons style, triggering a faux James Bond credit sequence. This film has some inventive stage combat by Tse Man-Yik. 
The only problem is that 10 mins in, nothing has been established and there are no characters only an onslaught of vicious action, it's enough to sustain the momentum but somebody to relate to better show up any min. There's a lot of stolen sounding music I'm not sure where from and Shazam is busted again on my phone. 

Allow me to extend my jaw into a hilarious Popeye impression

I still have no idea how anyone is connected or what their backstory is, but they all fight and pummel each other into the dirt so obviously there's strife.
The Dignified Killers comes off like a budget-less John Woo flick and it's sort of fascinating that even with no character development, plot line or story, the excessive violence keeps it struggling along and the pay off is worth all the confusion. Without subs you'd be better off with no subs and could piece together what's happening more successfully.

Next some pretty females show up, one is played by Emily Chu Bo-Yee (from A Better Tomorrow 2) and their story arc barely makes any sense but is packed with over emotional baggage and even a suicide attempt. After one girl downs an entire bottle of wine (she's forced to by a nightclub jerk), more fighting ensues, this film is so below the radar that the information on HKMDB was kind of spotty which is unheard of, that's become my number 1 source for Asian film cross referencing. 

Ladies be lovin' that wine (in Steve Harvey voice)

A dumb karaoke song whisks us away to a zoo montage where Huei and his girlfriend Ping laugh it up by the orangutans and giraffes. They also get married a few scenes after, "Wow this movie honestly doesn't care about any kind of development!" 
This film wants to be a John Woo film so bad it's almost humiliating. There are a couple of boob shots which is another dumb reason not to turn it off and give up on the film--that's only part of the reward you'll receive for slugging forth. One scene that's even more smaltzy than the suicide drama involves Huei and his best friend played by Lung Siu-Wah, who's name is finally revealed as Sen (although one insensitive character called him Gook and for a second, I thought that was his name)!

Hey look it's Fatty Cheng with an MC Hammer high top fade as the 2nd gun man

Sen begins to go ape shit and takes out his maniacal rage on a poor hooker. It's very disturbing! Meanwhile, Ping puts together an all female fighting force to decimate the asshole she believes killed her husband. Towards the end, the storyline eventually catches up to everything and it was easier to follow. 

Hold still I'm trying to give you a magical Zohan style hair cut!

This one proves that you can have a ton of action sex and violence but if the story is incoherent, it's not a complete film. Diet John Woo is the generic label I'm slapping this one with. It's worth checking out just to see how strangely it evolves but not that satisfying. 



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