Tuesday, December 25, 2012

Miami Connection

Miami Connection Directed by Richard Park (1987) Starring YK Kim
     What better way to celebrate Christmas then to buy online or better yet go to the theater and check out Miami Connection, the best film completely shot in Florida since Blood Freak! 
      It stars the World Renowned, abominably spirited YK Kim, a living testament to the American dream and a martial arts juggernaut! He fights and rocks in Dragon Sound! They are one of the hottest bands in the Central Florida club scene. Drafthouse Films rescued this rare cult item filmed all over Florida (Orlando, Daytona, other places) and found it on Ebay of all places and fixed it up! It comes off like a lost Sho Kosugi type Cannon Film. Cocaine dealers in floppy hats have Satin Jacket wearing geek bodyguards armed with uzis that get hammered by ninja stars and flying arrows. The dynamic action is immediate as people are pummeled and sliced and diced! Bikers by day and ninjas by night will steal your cocaine! One such ninja is Yoshito, he wears an all white suit and heads a biker gang and a ninja crew. He goes up to bartenders and asks them for a beer and a kiss on the lips! There are some authentic Florida regulars and almost all the actors seem like they have never been in anything else. There are many scenes where none of the actor's mouths move, but the audio track is running. 
      Dragon Sound's uber positive messages will turn your stomach and blow your mind! The villain Jeff has a dyed black beard and looks sort of like Billy Mays or Billy Mitchell, he is pissed that his sister Jane is even in Dragon Sound. There may be some kind of vague incest theme, because he is jealous of his sister's relationship with them. That is merely implied and never addressed. The awkward fashions and low budget quality gives it an extra level of hilarity and its fun to gawk at the Florida locals. Some of the background kids look exactly like the crowd in Heavy Metal Parking Lot. Miami Connection is a genuine time capsule of 1987 fashions.    
      Y.K. Kim's first appearance involves him trying to prevent Jane's brother Jeff (who sports a white saber tooth earring) from beating the shit out him and Dragon Sound. Y.K. Kim delivers some of the clunkiest awkward broken english this side of Jackie Chan and it just gets muddier from then on.

      I love the club promoter who yells at this other guy telling him that his music is for old people! There's a common known secret in Florida that is finally revealed in Miami Connection, everyone knows martial arts and can kick ass when needed. 
Dragon Sounds hits are "Against the Ninja" and "Friends", they have that schmaltzy 80's new wave quality and the songs kinda sound like Eddie Murphy's "Party All The Time". The padded audio of loud clapping (during the concert) or loud eating (at the restaurant) is unnerving. One character who feels that he rocks harder then Dragon Sound, dresses like Brian Johnson from AC/DC with a cabbie hat, neckerchief and rocknroll arm band.
      A fight with YK Kim against 20 guys ensues as slow-mo kicks gratuitously occur. Half of the villains look like angry dads or man boobed dweebs and probably a baby could arm wrestle them to the ground. They showcase the beach alittle bit, montage it up and include a strange foot pinching (3 stooges inspired) martial arts move not scene in any Chuck Norris or Segal vehicle, because the smell of their feet would paralyze any red blooded American. The black bearded jerk Jeff is threatening their school and band and ultimately their future goals of promoting peace.
      Toward the end they showcase the repulsive and awesome reality that is Biker Week in Florida and many of the real bikers are included. Yoshito and Jeff hang out at sleazy incidental titty bars at Biker Week, where they only serve warm swill in small plastic cups! Miami Connection is so likable and positive with genuine Florida rednecks and mongoloid locals that its irresistible and fun! A definite must see flick! The mail scene where Jim gets a letter from his estranged father is riveting! It winds down with a ninja fight in the humid florida jungles ( that looked like they were filmed in someone's backyard canal). Peace is fought through extreme violence combined with extreme new wave! Buy it now!    
You're Fucking Old!

Fighting Force of Extraordinary Magnitude!

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