Friday, January 11, 2013

Pantyhose Hero

PANTYHOSE HERO Directed by Sammo Hung. Starring Tom Poon (1990)
           If you had any respect for Sammo Hung, you will immediately lose it by watching this one! It’s the most hateful insensitive anti-gay films I can think of recently.
Sammo Hung had a genius idea to tribute William Friedkin's Cruising with Panty Hose Hero. The title doesn’t make any sense and at no point does an Asian Captain Underpants emerge to save anyone!
           It starts off with a gay couple who get involved with the triads and trigger a stabbing through the neck with a Batman knife (this will make another appearance later). It's followed by a lightning fast high-octane action free for all chainsaw battle. The fight scenes are very entertaining and seem to pad the storyline, not really interfere with it. Sammo and his partner play two bungling cops, they are chosen to solve the crime from the beginning, the chief says that a maniac is killing people in gay dance clubs (sort of like in Cruising) and they have 72 hours to learn the gay ways and delve into the gay underworld. All the homophobic propaganda is rampantly present through out this hate fest!
 To instruct the two moronic cops, they send in a ruthless trainer to help them out, she says there are three categories of gay people and she makes one of them walk with an apple clenched up his butt.
          There's more ridiculously offensive scenarios as if they are trying to out do Cruising (which people were outraged by when it came out)! The film made people think that gay people automatically are serial killers or twisted in someway, but it comes off tolerant compared to Pantyhose!
            In a hotel they try out their new gay act by threatening to bite people to give them AIDS and running into butter sex fiends in elevators.
            Sammo and his partner Gaykey are seriously homophobic and its pretty unbelievable that anyone would believe they were anything but narcs at the disco. Fatty and Gaykey, help out the gay bar by tricking the police into leaving instead of busting everyone which sort of helps.
            The gay characters all act like an Asian version of Men on Film from In Living Color. Pantyhose Hero is criminally offensive and homophobic and its very hard to find but not worth seeking out at all. This is the ugly Archie Bunker side of Sammo Hung that I was afraid may have existed and now I have confirmation!
            There's some gay bashing as a comedy device, I'm watching it as just an obligation to check out all the offensive movies in the Deep Red catalog. The anti-gay rhetoric is the most shocking thing about it!
            It seems after awhile that they aren't looking for a serial killer, but then he magically appears with champagne and a cake.
            Meanwhile Fatty Jeff is trying to put the moves on a lady until he's interrupted by his partner, who just escaped a narrow rape. Panty Hose is more like Tootsie then Cruising and its full of wacky misunderstanding hijinks.
           The real killer later on shows up in full Batman geek regalia and gets in a crazy kitchen fight with Sammo. They break all the glass in the house and throw each other through windows. The triads show up toward the end and chain up the ‘heroes’ in a giant warehouse. They use produce as a weapon (durian and lychees) along with uzis. The gangster use the construction site creatively, during one scene where they shoot someone and he falls down a tube onto the ground and gets flattened by a steamroller. There’s even wacky bloopers during the credits! Not worth watching unless you are the type of hillbilly that thinks you are affecting gay people by eating and supporting Chic-Fil-A or think The WestBoro Baptist Church has a valid opinion.  


AIDS Mosquitoes mean high comedy!

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