Thursday, January 31, 2013

Lewd Lizard

-Review by Skunkape-
Lewd Lizard aka Chong (1985) directed by Norman Chu

When a man gets his heart broken he can always fall back on the 3 L's, they are Laboratory, Lizards, & Lingerie. Lewd Lizard is an Asian CAT III shocker that still lurks in the shadows of the underground but maybe one day some brave DVD company will put a little work into getting this out so it can find it's audience.(It's sick depraved audience) After all it has naked chicks and horny lizards.

 Our story begins with David's fiance breaking up with him because she needs to marry a sugar daddy in order to pay off her deadbeat dad's old debts. Otherwise her mom will be thrown out into the cold and lose everything. She keeps David in the dark about her situation which then forces him to hate all women. For the next few weeks he decides to steal women's underwear and builds up quite a collection. When walking down the beach he notices an abundance of lizards and that's when the "light bulb" goes off. He gets the idea that he should train the lizards to attack vaginas! He does this by injecting some sort of fluid from the stolen panties into the lizards. He also tries it on a frog, but to no avail.

Don't go away mad, just go away!

oh no! these underpants have skid marks!

Injected right in the frog weener!!!!

He then goes on killing spree with a test tube full of hot and bothered lizards that are dumped down unsuspecting prostitutes pants. When the lizards slither there way inside them, which sadly is not shown in all its glory, the ladies moan in ecstasy but in the end comes pain and death.
"Say Hello, to my little green friends!"

He actually finds a girl he connects with and takes her boating. She finds the test tube of lizards and pours them down her own bathing suit so she can have the reptile orgasm of death. But how did she know to do that?  I think this scene was that crazy Asian humor us Americans may never quite be ready for. I was definitely laughing, I just want to make sure it was for the right reasons.
The Love Boat!

In the end David confronts his true love one more time. Will they live happily ever after?... or will the lizards take their final bow just before they enter her meat curtains and maim from the inside out!!!

Slightly Recommended

Not quite as crazy or graphic as it should be, but this wild story idea deserves credit on that merit alone.

7/10 on the CULT-O-METER

Somebody call this number and tell Lex Video to get to work on a Bluray ASAP!

Tribute Trailer
Rated L for Lewd

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and Theater of Guts @FilmGuts

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