Monday, September 10, 2012

Worthless Trash

There are a few head scratchers in the catalog, but ineptitude and mind blowing badness are the main reason titles like Black Devil Doll from Hell, Blood Freak, Horror of The Blood Monsters and Lucker The Necrophagus are in the Deep Red catalog.This doesn't mean they suck, it just means they are hard to enjoy sober!
Horror of the Blood Monsters is by Al Adamson and when that moniker appears before anything you know you are in for a dull witted good time.Check out Eccentric Cinema's review here. I have yet to be drunk enough to sit through Blood Monsters, however I totally geeked out over Satan's Sadists! Blood Freak is just incredible and another case for what a great place for gore hounds TV is now. Turner Classic Movies of all places showed it on one of their Friday night TCM underground programs. It's got a monster turkey, Christian tendencies and moral warnings, a narrator who almost dies choking on a cigarette while warning the viewer against the dangers of LSD. It's fucking amazing I can't recommend Blood Freak highly enough! Here's another great review over at this blog.

I'm rather choke on my own vomit then try LSD

Now onto Lucker the worst film I've ever had to suffer through but as always it's a fun ride hanging with my pal SkunkApe and watching it between two time zones over the phone. Lucker is a pudgy necrophiliac who slumps around looking for dates (I guess). Only the mad geniuses over at Synapse Films would dare put out a restored version. There is a Hanna Barbara inspired end scene where an elevator goes up and down and Lucker jauntily chases a female victim down a hallway over and over again as he the background moves, but he stays the same. Necrophagous means corpse eater just in case you cared.

I found a copy of Black Devil Doll at a Video Ave.(R.I.P.) and immediately dubbed it when I got home, then turned it over to Skunkape to see what he thought. I chipped a tooth over it's revolting shower scenes, horrific sex scenes in what can only be described as a Jerry Mahoney doll with a Reggae wig on in Black Face (that's how Michael Weldon describes it in Psychotronic). It breathes fire, rapes the uptight Christian woman and then dumps her. There's ugly thrift store solarized footage and the whole thing is shot on shittio (shitty video). Rotten Cotton would later make their own version with better looking girls and the same schlocky Troma influenced mindset.
Also check out the Cinema Snob's review of Chester Turners other masterpiece Tales from the Quadead Zone 
 Imagine your displeasure having to fork over 15 bucks only to get blow torched and maybe you would cower away and never shell out the money again for another worthless piece of tripe (or trash). Well not to worry in the aughts (ugh) you can watch all of these C/O of Netflix (Lucker and Blood Freak are over there) and holy shit! Blood Monsters is actually on Hulu so get blasted, smoke up and what ever you do don't watch these sober.

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