Friday, September 28, 2012

Arabella: The Black Angel

-Reviewed by Skunkape-

Arabella The Black Angel Directed by Stelvio Massi. Starring Valentina Viconti. (1989)
Right after you press play and you here the catchy little guitar riffs from composer SERFAN you know your watching something special. As credits role our lead female is driving and she's also rockin' to the sounds of SERFAN, she even interrupts the theme song to hum for about 5 seconds. "Hey shut up bitch, I'm trying to listen to that!"

This is an extremely sleazy Italian murder mystery about a very slutty unfaithful wife. She's married to a to a writer who's legs are paralyzed. Just moments after saying "I do" at the alter they were driving off to "happily ever after", then the horny bitch gets the brilliant idea of giving her new hubby a blow job. Of course he wrecks and his legs become useless.

"Honey, Can you drive stick?"

"All you do is sit around all day!"

The wife one night goes to a shady swingers club where she meets these two guys that seem more interested in just beating the shit out of her instead of screwing. She's also been being followed by a P.I. and just before any harm comes to her, the cops raid this second rate dirt hole club.
Officer friendly catches her and decides to let her off the hook, after he rapes her of course. Then when she drives off leaving her purse, the cop figures he'll pay her a visit for some more forced entry. This backfires when the corrupt cop goes down on her, she finds a blunt object and beats him to death.

Not very "knife" of them

From here on out there are more murders to follow, including a castration. A lesbian cop leads the investigation along with her chubby side kick who loves food (he could of played Gary Busey's role in POINT BREAK).  Is Arabella on a killing spree? Why is the P.I. following her? Will the police solve the case?

"They forgot the mayo."

This movie is by no means intelligent. Just a super corny/sleazy Italian production where you can shut off your brain and enjoy. So to me it makes this rarity a worthwhile viewing experience.
a 7/10 on the CULT-O-METER

 McGruff the crime dog wants sloppy seconds!

I got 2 tickets to the Indigo Girls concert!

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