Sunday, November 17, 2013

RASPUTIN Orgy in the Czar's Court


 -Reviewed by Skunkape-
 Rasputin aka An Orgy of Corruption (1984)


 Time for a little Theater of Guts History Lesson before we talk about this film. Grigori Yefimovich Rasputin was a wannabe monk that flunked and then became a wandering prophet thought to have had healing powers. Eventually these rumors of mystical power got him in good with Czar Nicholas the II and he actually went on to cure his son of hemophilia.

 In 1916 political rivals of the Czar plotted to kill Rasputin and began assassination attempts. First they fed him wine and cakes laced with cyanide but that seemed to have no effect. Later he was beaten and shot several times, then wrapped in a carpet and tossed into a river. Three days later his body was found and an autopsy report showed that the bullets didn't kill him, he actually drowned.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Lets now meet the Rasputin in this film:

 EXTERIOR: THE WOODS
An angry man runs up to kill Rasputin with a knife.

Rasputin:Why are you so determined to kill me?
Angry peasant: My wife! You have dishonored her and given her a child.
Rasputin: (laughs)
Angry peasant: I sent her to you because she was barren, as cold as a dog's nose.You were supposed to heal her!
Rasputin: Well, haven't I?

"I put a bun in your wife's oven."
 Rasputin is Germany's answer to Caligula, a costume drama with scenes of actual intercourse. Caligula boasted a much bigger budget and more style, eighty percent of the movie focused on the story, twenty percent was padded with a lesbian scene and a giant orgy. Rasputin had a decent budget but was eighty percent porn and only twenty percent story, making it more of an adult film then an exploitation movie.

"I fuck in a hurry cause I'm Russian! Get it?"
 Alexander Conte plays Rasputin, known to many as the mad monk. Who is Alexander Conte you may ask? Well, Nobody. His only other screen credit according to IMDB is a soviet police commander in the Swartzanegger/Belushi cop buddy film Red Heat. Conte refrains from any participation in the hardcore action probably to protect his integrity as an actor but based on how much work he got after this film he should have just slipped it in.
The female leads do however partake in the sex making all the insert shots with Conte match up quite nicely. It's almost perfect aside from some on screen slow fucking with hard fucking sound effects.

"Rasputin is cooler than a Russian dancing bear."
 Much of the plot deals with Rasputin traveling to St. Petersberg. Along the way Russian soldiers fight rebels and torture them for information. All the prisoners captured are marched off to Siberia for imprisonment.(Hopefully they don't have to deal with ILSA, no not the one from the SS, not the Harem Keeper, not the Wicked Warden, yeah the other one!) The torture is not all that exciting, pretty mellow, aside from one dude getting his ear shot off. You could get ten times more torture in a witchspoitation film like Mark of the Devil. Also along for the ride is a beautiful Countess but she is really a spy. She tries to lure him on a train rigged with explosives but fails and winds up getting boned the rest of the trip in a small carriage.(she loves every minute of it) He also humps her servant too, in a hot threesome!


Another Vodka!
 When he finally reaches his destination he gains power and respect from the Czar right after he heals his young son of a serious illness. As he acquires more political influence traitors plot to eliminate him. First he gets stabbed , next day shot and beaten, and then finally poisoned but none of that phases him and he gleefully laughs and lives to fuck another day.
"Who put hot sauce in my custard?!"

Rasputin lives again!


With all the Vodka, food , and endless sex, I sure can't understand why Yakov Smiroff would ever want to leave Mother Russia.
 I love that country!






6-10 ON THE CULT-0-METER

Fun! Above average all around but way to much sex to be a classic exploitation film and if all that was removed not enough substance.

"So, you thought you could outwit the imperious forces of  "Spaceball."

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