The Inspector Wears Skirts

 

The Inspector Wears Skirts (Top Squad) Directed by Wellson Chin 1988.

Cynthia Rothrock aka the female Chuck Norris early in her career did mucho kick ass buddy cop flicks, this one starts off with exploding ninjas and an impressive choreographed battle. 

When you see that Golden Harvest logo it means there’s a high percentage you will be pleased. The slipcover art is impressive. The skirt unit are an illite fighting team training their butts off for something, it’s not clear yet. 

campfire circle jerk?

The girls in the bunker talk about urine. This movie has lots of toilet humor and for some odd reason Nazi jokes!! The subs are very different from the English language version. 

Ricky Lau from Mr. Vampire shows up as a lunch worker. He gives one girl he deems over weight a raw egg. Ohh shit----it’s an old school roller rink where one dude with a ball-cap screams Heil Hitler! I have no idea why? 

The egg represents your ovaries

The Nazi wears overalls too, I thought I’d mention this. There’s more off-putting poop talk. We are in the clutches of a Golden Harvest production so we’re not safe! Wow---we’re treated to a rockabilly musical number as kids dance and clap. 

Rockabilly is thee real "Devil's Music"

The girls say Yes, Madam to their superior which reminds me where’s Cynthia? And also there’s a series of films with Michele Yeoh and Ms. Rothrock that carries that title. 

She's not your fuggin punching bag dude!

I feel bad for this Amy character played by Sandra Ng. The Nazi who dresses like a 4 yr old plays slap fight with her and busts the poor gal's lip. It’s all in good hijinx or the comedic timing of SKIRTS.

Heil Mayor McSleaze

The all girl squad look down on individualism which is fucked up. Amy and the Nazi loser hit the dance floor. That’s right we’re in a nightclub now. Coke is definitely a sponsor, the beverage not the stimulant. The girl's attack a cheater and scar his hand with a heated up metal pipe. 

SWOON!

Rothrock returns after an hour! She shows up wearing acid washed denim. They reveal her character name as Madam Law. 

CAUTION REAL FLAMES!

There’s a goofy Police Academy training montage. It’s pervy but there’s no nudity, it’s violent but in a comedic way. I recommend watching the English language dub because the dialogue is very entertaining (it differs vastly from the subs). If you liked this one there are 4 sequels to look forward to. Shing Fui-On the actor from Blue Jeans Monster appears as a thug. The last battle has a blonde guy who does "monkey style" kung-fu. The fight choreography is fuggin wonderful!

It's streaming on Tubi and 88 Films offers the physical media blu-ray with extras. I watched the interview with Rothrock (who still looks stunningly beautiful currently).  

2026 the fall of Amerikkka

 Here we go descending into madness that was 2025 but we're in a whole New Year! VS is churning out Warner Archive shit in dazzling hefty slipcovers w fancy new art. So re-buy it you bitch hog and fund cult movies on physical media. This year I'm going to create more and fear less. The End is nigh or is it? The Orange buffoon's reign of terror can't last forever, he will perish like so much congealed McDonalds lard slithering down the drain.

CLEAN THE GRILL WITH YER FACE YA PEDO KKKLOWN!

When I wrote for Monster and WC there was a no politics rule but that was pre 2016. I've always been a lefty (figuratively and literally), it's my Psychotronic Video influence. After I stopped reading MRR, I noticed the Michael Weldon publication devoted to Bird is the Word and Ghoulardi worship starting to alienate its own readers. Right wing people took offense at the jabs toward W./ Cheney/ Rumsfeld's enhanced interrogation bullshit. And here we are now in 2026 these idiots are attempting to trigger armageddon,

 YES! We were warned the 80's class war would return if we elected Pepe the frog/ aka washed up reality show con meme Orange festering hemorrhoid. Maybe it was prophesied like in Nightbreed or the Omen, somehow I couldn't stop it even if I tried. Did the public listen to the warning signs in all the movies we devoured mentally or were we distracted by everything to even think or escape? Probably. Is it too late, no, I don't believe so.

So far the raddest thing about 2026 to me is how Shaw Brothers gore flicks (which we reviewed on all sorts of dingy back alley formats) keep popping up with proper releases. Boxer's Omen, Seeding of a Ghost, Hex after Hex, Bewitched, Oily Maniac and Black Magic 1&2. The one I'm really dreaming to one day see restored is The Rape After (which is Golden Harvest). The Shaw Bros titles are also streaming on Shudder which is cool that they are exposing others to global Asian gore. 

Sorry I have been struggling with writers block and thinking of abandoning this blog but I put so much of my guts into it. I plan on forcing myself to write and create more to drown out the misery that is life during these dark times. My hope is that people will throw away this MAGA cult and get mental help. The whole nation is suffering under the tyrannical cankle of a thin skinned baby with tiny hands and an even more minuscule penis.

So there's no real review here, just a welcome message for the new year. Last year so many terrible things happened personally to me in my life. I need to exorcize these demons and bad vibes for good.