Friday, November 2, 2012

Chinese Torture Chamber Story

Chinese Torture Chamber Story Directed By Bosco Lam. Starring Yvonne Yung. (1994).

       One of the most notorious purveyors of filth in the 60's and 70's were the Shaw Brothers studio, by the 80's they had spawned two legendary film production companies, Golden Harvest and Media Asia. 
Then after that nuclear meltdown was unleashed onto the globe, a new breed of defiant film makers (who all worked for The Shaws)emerged from the Hong Kong system.Many of the films in the Deep Red catalog are associated with these madmen. Such famous (and sadly no longer talented) names like Hark Tsui, Jing Wong, John Woo, Ringo Lam.
   Almost every genre of gore,action, porn,horror, ghost stories and sometimes all intertwined in the same consolidated vomit trough.The first Golden Harvest title in the Deep Red catalog is "Last Hurrah For Chivalry" (probably because of the John Woo association). Mr. Vampire and The Seventh Curse (later on to be reviewed are there as well).  Wong Jing is an extremely prolific Category III producer, director, screenwriter and sometimes actor here's a quote: Why do they call me that? Because I'm famous. Now and then every famous director in the country gets panned. So if they curse you it proves you're really hot, like a big soccer star...if you score now, they'll cheer, but they'll curse you for sure if you miss the next time round. I don't care. The more they curse, it just proves I'm getting hotter." - On being called "the King of Crappy cinema" and an opportunist. (Source Wikipedia).
He's responsible for some of the most reviled films in history, tonights nugget from the slime pit is "Chinese Torture Chamber Story".
       It starts off with a man being seared against a giant smoke stack, castrated (his junk is tossed into a bowl) and then buried up to his neck as his face torn off and his head cracked open with mercury. A sweaty girl (who looks like a puffer fish) named Little Cabbage is accused of murder by a high court of Chinese inquisitors. The love story between Cabbage and Yang is told in flashbacks. She is caned on her bare bottom. An aphrodisiac was used maliciously to kill someone who we find out later tries to rape Cabbage. Giant C3PO finger traps are brought out and used to crunch little cabbage's hands. We flashback too when her husband first met her (she has tiny bonded feet) and this entices him. Cabbage has an asian Cinderella type upbringing. Her husband brags that he has unlimited sperms and has sex with Cabbage's sister. He attaches a jingle bell nipple clamp sex contraption to her body and giggles. Yang is a sex maniac and involves Cabbage in his debauchery. The grand inquisitor's son is guilty and involved in bringing Cabbage to the torture chamber, she may be innocent. The style of Torture Chamber is like an erotic wacky comedy with punishment. There is a clumsy lesbian encounter, where to stop it from going any further Cabbage bites her nipple. There are some slapstick antics about giant penises and silly music, this is on the level of Sammo Hung wackiness, not Guinea Pig seriousness. There is a slight parody to the Patrick Swayze movie Ghost (with an asian sounding version of The Righteous Brothers song), which ends with a giant orgasm hitting a gong across the room. Next we are thrown into high flying kung fu mid-air sex in a haunted forest. Torture Chamber is like a pervy Chinese Ghost Story. Yang whips the girl he tickled before with the sex contraption as animal farm noises are heard for some unexplained reason. The inquisitor's son becomes invisible and tries to rape Cabbage then he pummels this guy's dick with a Durian shell. I'm not even gonna mention what the Durian guy does to calm the inquisitors son down! 
       Back in the torture chamber a man is sentenced (by association with Cabbage). He is dragged through broken china and has his fingers torn off by pliers.Cabbage is sexually assaulted by two Samoan looking women. The last 30 minutes attempts to out do "Mark Of The Devil" with its grand inquisition grossness. There are Mario Bros sex sounds and jokes about rape. Among the torture is that exploding dick gag we keep hearing about, some really insanely tasteless shit, but what do you expect from a Category III!           


I can't they are attached to my wrists

Ha, they are Lee Press Ons!

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