Monday, November 5, 2012

Buried Alive

Buried Alive (Beyond The Darkness, Buio Omega, Blue Holocaust). Directed by Joe D’Amato, starring Keiran Canter.(1979)
   If I didn’t know any better I’d attribute this film to Dario Argento and I’m sure Joe D’Amato wanted this attention, so he borrowed the super awesome rock group Goblin for this necrophiliac classic. This is my favorite film out of his many inept, clumsy horror attempts, even though the English audio dialogue sounds like it was recorded in a toilet. Frank (Kieran Canter) plays a rich necrophiliac taxidermist who promises to his girlfriend who dies of an unmentioned illness, that “death won’t separate them”. After her burial Frank digs up his beloved and dumps her into his groovy red van (similar to the one Peter Jackson drives in Bad Taste)! All the pathos and entertainment missing from his other horror films is all present here and it’s a nice change of pace! Frank has an Udo Keir look with that helmet haircut. The Goblin score gives the film a mysterious quality of depth. Iris played by Franca Stoppi, who has an icy complexion and sharpie brows, her and Frank have a twisted relationship and later he is shown feeding from her breast. A chubby hippy chick jumps into his red wagon, falls asleep from too much hash, while Frank drives to perform an autopsy on his dead girlfriend. He pulls out her heart and makes out with it like it’s deliciously Kentucky Fried! The autopsy footage is incredibly realistic and the dripping sounds of organ removal are all very unpleasant. He stuffs glass eyes into his dead girlfriend’s face like a professional taxidermist. The hippy bird unfortunately gets her nails ripped out, man way to kill a good buzz!

     Frank treats human bodies like they are dead animals to be stuffed and mounted, I mean this guy is on call 24/7. Iris is one of the creepiest women I’ve ever seen and a murderous” mommy fixated” corpse stuffer like Frank deserves her! All these attractive girls are thrown away and wasted like human trash and it really delivers the punch, that these types of necrophiles are not to be admired or understood. A nosey stuffed baboon collector steals a locket from Frank’s van and seems to be the one decent person in this film. Frank & Iris dump the chubby chick into an acid bath (again the dripping sounds are incredibly loud)! Just remember kids don’t force your way into creepy van late at night looking for a ride down the street or you could get hacked up and then dissolved in a bath of gore. Iris and Frank are exceptionally thorough and as a serial killer team, they have to be careful. This is one of the sickest D’Amato efforts sexually and viscerally, Iris eats like a human pig, causing Frank to barf! That’s the thing that sets him off, her eating and this is the guy slopping internal organs into a metal bucket and frenching still beating human hearts. The nosey Baboon jerk finds out that Frank inherited his riches from an auto accident his parents died in. Later an injured blonde finds his way to his house in the Italian countryside. Cinzia Monreale from The Beyond plays the pale dead girlfriend, who’s lifeless body is propped up in bed and later used to scare a disco girl. The injured jogger is later burned alive and has her throat bitten open, no girl, even his former girlfriend apparently can match his obsession with “Sharpie Brows”. Frank is like a 70’s TigerBeat version of Ed Gein! He has a crematorium, a butcher table/ autopsy table and vows to marry Iris, his true love! The first time I saw this was at Blockbuster under the Thriller video box title (of Buried Alive), it was so repulsive and its morbid quality really got under my skin! It’s worth re-evaluating for those that may have been grossed out by it and were scared to re-watch it. Ed Mannix (Al Cliver’s dubbed voice makes an appearance during the suckling pig dinner


Makin Steak Ums
Hippies are hard to Hack up
Funeral Procession by Dwight Schrute's father

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