Tuesday, April 22, 2014

Night Of The Bloody Apes

Night Of The Bloody Apes (La horripilante Bestia Humana) Directed By Rene Cardona Sr. (1969/72).
If you've seen the epic trailer that finishes out Mad Rons Prevues From Hell, then you've seen the monkey money shot already right? Wrong, there's more levels of fun in this seven layer burrito of mutant apes and open heart surgery! 
   A mad scientist named Dr. Krallman (Jose Elias Moreno) will do anything to fix his pasty moon faced son named Julio (not Hoolio). He'll go to the zoo and shoot animals with a tranquilizer (where's the zoo keeper you may wonder)?
   He goes to extreme (and completely stoopid lengths) to help out his son by transplanting his human heart with a gorilla one. This involuntarily turns his boy into a beastly humanoid monkey and it sets him on a rampage through-out the neighborhood. 
   Rene Cardona is the man responsible for the greatest Christmas joke ever unearthed on an unsuspecting 60's kiddie audience, Santa Claus! You are all familiar with the one where Kris Kringle fights Satan, pals around with Merlin and famously became brilliant fodder on MST3K. The mad scientist from this, actually played Santa Claus in the frightening holiday favorite.  
Feliz Navidad??

   The definition of insanity is doing the same shit repeatedly and expecting different results. You won't believe when you witness the doc and his Igor-esque servant, incessantly capture and re-capture the mutant Simian, tie him down with the flimsiest rope they can get a hold off and every single time he breaks out. It happens over and over so much, that it may cause you to rip your hair out or break into a rash! 

Oi, I shouldn't have drank so many Tecates

   The bloody ape's reign of terror includes nearly raping girls in showers, slapping down random strangers in parks and popping out various body parts (limbs, eyeballs, etc). The film is split up into three subplots, one involves a female wrestler, I referred to as The Devil Bitch. Her trials and tribulations eat up half the story line and she becomes a crucial part of the experiment later. There's a bunch of detectives and lawyers that chew up more scenes (didn't really pay attention as to how they are connected) and then there's the real footage of open heart surgery, which was padded along with extra gratuitous nudity to sell it on the exploitation market. 
Get Yer Hot Monkey Love right here

   Night Of The Bloody Apes is really trashy and a laugh riot! I love how towards the end he gets sick of not wearing a shirt and puts on a high collared button up shirt and pajama combo! If you like bad dubbing, ultra violence and Mexican wrestling then saddle up for this trash classic! Even though Monkey's are shot and set on fire, no animals were harmed (just people in ape suits and someone's heart transplant surgery, which probably went swimmingly, but who knows)?

Available from Something Weird Video

ouch mi maldito globo ocular

Devil Bitch in action

Wrap it up in a burrito with some cheese and Tapatio


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