Wednesday, April 9, 2014

Bloody Wednesday

Bloody Wednesday Directed By Mark G. Gilhuis, starring Raymond Elmendorf (1987).
The crawl in the very beginning talks about a supposed coffee shop massacre, but in reality it was a "Mcdonalds Mcmassacre" in San Ysidro California in 1984 by James Oliver Huberty. 
  Huberty went on a mass killing spree proclaiming he was out hunting humans, his family later on tried to sue Mcdonalds claiming their Chicken Mcnuggets and working around poisonous metals fueled his psychotic rage, you can read about it here

The real born loser, before the massacre

   The James Huberty in this film is called Harry Curtis (Elmendorf, who's only role besides this was a bit part in Project X). Harry snaps at his mechanics job and immediately after goes into church naked and spooks everybody enough to get a psychiatric evaluation. His brother attempts to check him into a mental institution where cliches are the order of the day. Curtis says "You can't take the heat get out of the kitchen" and the female doctor responds "The whole world is a kitchen"! He is dangerously unstable and since the psycho ward is over crowded, he gets to stay with his brother. The stock music and the film quality all resemble a lame Tales From The Darkside episode. 

Teddy doubles as a bullet proof vest

   This is one of those Deep Red catalog films that I pretty much detested, even though it was slightly watchable. Among films I'm going to have to watch tied down ludovico style are Mistress Of The Apes, She Beast, The Worm Eaters and The Creepers by Wes Olsen. I'm not sure why they are in the catalog other then to sell rare tapes that you couldn't see anywhere else at the time. This one should remain lost and is still in public domain. The screen writer Phillip Yordan also penned the haphazardly clunky Night Train To Terror, Johnny Guitar and really missed the mark with this shit. 

   Mr. Curtis sees imaginary street punks and screaming girls pounding on his door late at night, his teddy bear talks back to him and says "you can't hold a job"! Imaginary snakes and bellboy ghosts visit him at night, he starts off bad and gets progressively worse. Things turn stalker-ish after Harry climbs over the wall of the head of the psychiatric hospital's house and once inside, she dances around in a Stevie Nicks type dress while he plays piano. 
Total eclipse of the fart

   Reality and fantasy are completely blurred and Harry (who reminds me of Lance Kinsey the guy that plays Proctor in Police Academy) is not a very convincing psycho. 
   It's hard to tell if the punks that chase him are real or a delusion, but its not uncommon for nutcases to blame their problems on the youth of today.
   At any rate he sets up a kangaroo court using a "Dirty Harry style 44" and uses his teddy bear as the hanging judge! This scene was the most entertaining for me so far in this dull mess.
   The punks later show up in a bar and react to being held hostage by a man with a gun and a teddybear, they are apparently real. The film tries to make it seem like the street gang ordered him to kill random strangers at the restaurant in the finally and takes the Death Wish model, that punks are inherently evil and must be stomped out like the plague. 
   Harry begs for his job back and then causes his boss to go ape shit after he paints a customer's car red white and blue. 

Thanks punkers for setting me up with this nifty gun

   His wife stops by and does a little striptease for no reason, while she takes a bath he goes in and drowns her.
    The bellhop who acts like the bartender in The Shining gives him terrible advice. This movie is in very bad taste when you think about how it's based on a real incident (at the time one of the highest death tolls in the United States). It's in league with those atrocious serial killer biopics that used to litter the shelves of Blockbusters across America, when those existed. It shouldn't be represented as a document of the actual case, since nothing in this film follows any of the details of the original tragedy! The director was never seen or heard from again and with good reason. Why is it so offensive to me that he would try to capitalize on a mass shooting that happened a few years ago and not even bother to get the facts straight. Take for example The Executioners Song which followed the case to the letter and made Gary Gilmore seem like the white trash scumbag that he was. The film makers here don't have the brains to pull off a decent biopic so they stole random shit seemingly by flipping the channels, adding whatever appeared on TV at the time. A total waste of time!

I like my human face egg sandwich over medium please


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