Monday, April 21, 2014

Don't Mess With My Sister

Don't Mess With My Sister Directed By Meir Zarchi Starring Joe Perce (1985).
From The IMHOP Dept. of Kris Gilpin
No, that title (an incredibly stupid one, indeed) is not a joke. As far as I know, this is the only other feature made by the infamous Meir (I Spit On Your Grave) Zarchi. (An aside: You know what else made "Spit" such a disturbing film to sit through? There was no background mood music in the flick, leaving the viewer with the eerie feeling something is out of kilter.

   Monte Hellman also did this in the wonderful road movie, Two-Lane Black Top which, having starred two rock stars (James Taylor and the late Beach Boy Dennis Wilson, made it more ironic) (James Taylor a rock star? Hardly Kris!-.ed). 

Large Marge in a very special cameo

   Anywho, Sis! (also written by Zarchi) is about this guy who works at an auto junkyard which is owned by his two brothers-in-law. This guy gets a surprise birthday party given for him, at which there is a belly dancer he later has an affair with. One night he follows said belly dancer to a rich fat ass's house and the fat guy tries to rape her; together the young man and the dancer beat the older man to death. As things get sticky and the affair is revealed, the brothers yell at the dude, while the wife contemplates leaving or staying with her hubby ("You didn't recharge your battery that night, you recharged your prick!"). Still awake?


   The artwork on the video box advertises this as a horror flick--which naturally, they would for any film from Zarchi, no matter what its genre--and just when shots are fired and fire is flung, just when you think something is finally going to happen, nothing ever does. Well, one thing does happen:the movie ends, as wifey forgives the dumb sap (I'll never throw another birthday party for you!" Isn't that cute?); it's like Fatal Attraction with a deathless non-ending. What's all this "plot" doing in a Meir Zarchi flick? You never really care for these characters. And what was the point of the murder, other than just to stick one in for good measure? One thinks he made this as a backlash to the criticism he received for Spit, but who gives a shit about this story? Don't Mess with this Sister! Another example of false advertising, there is nothing for the Sleaze Cinema enthusiast.

Wut up, I'm Roseanne Roseannadanna

It takes two to tango on a fat guy's face

I'm a fake Cathy Moriarity

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