Friday, May 23, 2014

The Headhunter

The Head hunter (The Killer in Love, Lie tou, Long goodbye). Directed By Lau Shing-Hon Starring Chow Yun Fat (1982).  

Right from the start there's a severed head in the jungle, chopsocky dubbing and mass confusion because this is the grainiest Chow Yun-fat flick I've ever seen. The negatives looked like they were rescued from the dumpster and spliced together with a butter knife. I'm used to the sleek Woo/Chow team of excitement, tenderness and bone crunching action, but this film came out years before they ever met. This movie is best left in the forgotten pile of embarrassing shit, don't waste your time, it totally sucks! 
   The lighting here is on the grimy level of Bare Knuckles, which some people trash, but as far as I'm concerned, it's one of the best Don Edmonds flicks ever. That film takes what rotten filth it has and turns it into something fun and likeable, Head Hunter is the cinematic equivalent to garbage juice slithering at the bottom of a dumpster. 
Fat is a Nam vet who's brought his expert killing skills to the streets of Hong Kong, his tubby shades wearing boss makes a deal with him.
   After a confusing shaky cam Vietnam flashback we're throw head first into a sweaty disco! So put make sure you slip on your boogie shoes--if I had a gun in my mouth--I would've pulled the trigger already, so I wouldn't have to finish this review. 
   Eventually the promised murder ordered by the stocky mob boss is delivered in a dank, foggy, hard to see location.
   Next an ultra slow sex scene occurs while synth rock plays, you'd think this may have persuaded me to enjoy the film alittle more, but you'd be wrong!
Every struggling actor has their skeletons in the closet, but this one is mind boggling to me, the fact that it's in the Deep Red catalog and on Amazon Prime streaming. It's too easy for some unsuspecting victim to walk into and make them depressed for the rest of the week.
Everything about it is clumsy and uneven, it should be designated for bad Kung fu cinephiles only.

   Some of the nam flashbacks are bright agent orange, get it? The lighting is nonexistent, you'd get more professional results from a chimp with a camera strapped to his head.
There are characters on the screen but I can't decipher what's happening half the time.
Vickie lee is a sassy news anchor, trying to investigate a scuzzy hotel where a dead body was found. Their office has giant file cabinets and ringing phones so you know it's a dedicated news team.Vicky tries to investigate a poisonous gas leak and an irresponsible corporation that's responsible.
   The second act tries to cover up the botched job of the first half and does a pitiful job. I wonder if the director was replaced midway through (Hong Kong MD, which I can normally rely on for the rarest info, must have given up like I did on Head Hunter)! 
This is the kind of action flick you could vacuum while it's on, walk your dog or brush your teeth and miss almost nothing.
Like a million other HK productions and Bruno Mattei, Goblin's Dawn of the Dead music is ripped off. The absence of screen caps is on purpose for a few reasons, I didn't want to suffer again through this wretched bore and the film is so dark, that you can't make out anything that's happening.

GIVES INSTANT WATCHING A BAD NAME! Watch the dullest John Woo film over this shit!

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