Thursday, May 15, 2014

Ritual Of Death

Ritual Of Death Directed By Fauzi Mansur starring Olair Coan (1990).
When Skunkape and I watched this together recently, both of our jaws dropped as we heard the opening credit 80's montage style song ("Beyound Love" by Sarah Regina). No that's not a typo this time, that's just how they spelled Beyond! It almost reminds me of those ultra cheesy songs that start out in various Cannon produced Sho Kosugi ninja vehicles. I knew from that moment that Ritual of Death was gonna rock! Fauzi Mansur delivers once again. It starts off at a church as a Winston Churchill/ Kane from Poltergeist 2 style tubby phantom haunts a community college, his name is Uncle Parker.

My bible needs a haircut

   A teacher who looks like Jack Marshak from Friday The 13th the series presides over an extremely crowded classroom. A tribe of Aztec-like indians conduct a grisly ritual, hence the title. As the ghost in the bowler hat holds a book with human hair sprouting from it, his hand splurts out copious amounts of pus. Brad (Olair Coan), one of the students in the class has gotten into more treacherous homework than he bargained for. The corpse the indians are preforming a dance and blowing smoke at, latches onto Brad's hand and then disappears. The results later turn him into a maniacal, raw meat eating freak in an executioners mask. 

I know Goat's head soup is good, but what about tacos?

    As far as the technical aspects of this film go, it's worse than a Jerry Warren production (The Wild World Of Batwoman). There's clumsy synthesizer sting noises every time they cut to Uncle Parker, the Churchchill ghost, there's some of the most inept dubbing, which sounds like a Drivers Ed. short and even a few jumpcuts. 
   It's all as intoxicating and hilarious as a Caipirinha, Brazil's national cocktail or as terrifying as an early Sepultura song!
   Brad and his buddy Jim (who apes Bogart by saying "this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship") are the main characters. Jim wants to steal an Egyptian parchment for them to use in their theatre group. They go to the library which looks like an old boat with stained glass and steal the fuzzy book. The teacher calls the police and warns that the book is dangerous, one cop who wears a sailor hat, looks like Chuck Berry to me.

If you see Keith Richards, tell him he's a cracker-ass bitch

   After 20 minutes the movie starts to get very repulsive as Jim and some gal hop into a bloody tub and rub a severed goat's head over their naked bodies. The dead goat looks uncomfortably real. Perhaps the reason the Indians are pissed off and haunting the actors is because their culture is being erroneously combined with a bunch of other tribes and some Egyptian mumbo jumbo.
King Tut, Buried with a Donkey, He's my favorite Honkey!
Brad goes to visit his jazz singing mom who sounds like Lauren Bacall if she gargled drano (I mean a voice so gravelly it could potentially hit the brown note)! Her son begins to stuff his gullet with raw meat as frogs hop around at their own accord, it's possible his mother may be a witch.

Go away Mom, I'm not drinking blood, I'm trying to masturbate

   Mansur's film always have some sort of satanic cult pulling the strings in the back ground. Some of the Egyptian sacrificing reminds me of Bloodfeast, but its all executed in a creative way that never blatantly rips off H.G. Lewis, unlike Mardi Gras Massacre
The clunky dubbing is off the charts hysterical and most of the characters sound like they are reading, that includes when they swear. 

I can't believe I got the role for this Poltergeist Neutrogena commercial!

   When Brad pulls his face open, his entire head erupts like a loaded zit. He skulks around the auditorium in a goofy executioner mask. One character drowns in a bath tub full of blood and his eyes pop out and float to the surface. The women in Ritual are very attractive, but you never get to enjoy their beauty, because they are disemboweled or stabbed in the face with a butcher knife. One murder is over the top creative, as a giant fan on wheels is pushed toward a victim and squashes his guts out like a smushed frog. It all ends in a smoky, disgusting pus filled gore fest and then that montage song plays over the credits. 

Highly Recommended! Go out of your way to see this one!   

Available from 

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