Wednesday, January 29, 2014


Unhinged Directed By Don Gronquist starring Janet Penner (1982).
This film is another example of how many terrible film makers were raking in barrels of cash, based solely on "being banned in the UK" for managing to get on the hypocritical "VIDEO NASTY" List. TOG prides itself on suffering through all the tortures of the damned (or watching shitty flicks in the Deep Red Catalog and the VN list, so that you don't have to)!
   I watched this completely sober and with no medicinal enhancement (I did lean on the fast foward mouse during scenes that were too dull to bare, did I cheat alittle during this review, maybe, but I had to see the big pay-off (which now that I think of it sort of stole from Paul Bartel's Private Parts)! The main psycho maniac's voice slows down in a transgendered way, you'll see what I mean if you attempt to watch it, just make sure you are sufficiently baked, don't make the same mistake I did! 

The Unhinged crew were most likely baked

   The score by Jonathan Newton is exceptionally freaky and kicks off this Psycho inspired, "Oedipus complex flick" off to a good start, it may be the only likable thing about this film. 
   A blonde hops in the shower and then hits the road with some other gals, who all chatter in a suggestive generic way, they are on their way to a concert. The synth heavy score follows the car around overhead (slightly reminding me of The Shining). They hit a ditch in the road during the rain and the screen blacks out, BANG, they all ended up in an accident! 
   The blond awakens to find two siblings (one named Norman and the other Marion) that look like rejects from The Waltons, they both fear their tyrannical mother. Everyone sounds like they are reading and all have monotone voices (the acting is one notch above The Room). The mother rants and makes everyone uncomfortable (like all certain family members you wouldn't mind if they dropped off the face of the earth)! I'm sticking this one out, because it's in the infamous catalog and it's so dreadful, that I can't turn it off!

My mouth is waking up, shoot me with more novocaine

   Before the girls go to bed, they have more forced, wooden dialogue about that evening and find a human tooth under the bed that creeps them out. The girl's emote to each other so unenthusiastically it looks like they were just given novocaine injections before filming.

My hair is trying to slither off my scalp!

One girl hears some heavy panting in the dark and says it sounds like a guy "doing himself"! A few minutes later they both hop in the shower as his yellow eyeball is seen warbling around through a peephole.
Get Off the course I'm trying to golf!

   The killer wears an outfit fashioned from trash bags and carries a giant sickle. I almost feel like Don Gronquist saw The Burning and decided to make his own ripoff (with the same Rick Wakeman-esque score) and gathered his terrible local theater acting troupe and put on a little slasher dinner play.
   The crazy grandma could act circles around Bea Arthur, and comes off like Laurence Olivier in this piece of shit, two bit slasher flick.

Eat your heart out Rue Maclanahan!
   Marion, the stuffy spinster sits the blonde girl down and mentions her brother Carl is the unhinged psycho path. They treat him like a stray dog and keep him outside, its all explained in the most self serving way possible over lots of tea.
   They spend five bucks on a rubber axe and a squib to achieve this cool hatchet in the forehead effect (this is the only gore scene in the entire "slasher" film)!!!

We spared no expense on these effects
   Unhinged is the kind of film that dares you to do some housework while it's on in the background and get menial chores finished while something, anything happens, it's that riveting!
Mary Whitehouse reminding you to clean your room while boring Video Nasty movies are on

Don't miss the ending because it's slightly interesting, but only slightly! There are lots of reviews of this film on other sites, the only reason being, was that it was apparently a video nasty!! What were Mary Whitehouse and her cronies smoking when they incriminated this stupid movie and gave it more attention! Then again that's the whole point of that hypocritical list. The whole she-bang was filmed in Portland so maybe someone will end up on Portlandia?  
Here's an interesting update on the director Don Gromquist . On a sort of unrelated note, The Angry Samoans have a cool song called "Unhinged". 
Completely worthless! Skip this and watch a better U-titled film like The Unseen!

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