Friday, April 12, 2013

Raiders Of Atlantis

Rambo Shandling
Raiders Of Atlantis (Atlantis Interceptors) Directed By Ruggero Deodato (1983)

            Miami 1994! is the Future in Raiders Of Atlantis, notorious cannibal maverick Ruggero Deodato’s mentally retarded ripoff of The Warriors. There’s some choice Miami Vice/48 Hours style banter between two interracial pals Mike and Washington/ Mohammed. In this film Deodato carries the “anglicized” moniker of Roger Franklin and he has reason to be embarrassed.

            Oliver Onions (a fake Goblin style band) does the infectious theme song Black Inferno! (covered here incredibly by the accomplished Youtube musician Islandrocks). In Deodato’s universe, Italio-Disco is still relevant in the future!
Oliver Onions still playing to packed houses in the future

            Tony King (the black cannibalistic Nam vet from Cannibal Apocalypse) plays Mohammed/ Washington and Christopher Connelly is his wise cracking pal. Connelly looks like a Super Marionette version of Gary Shandling to me and played Hotdog in Bronx Warriors (the first exploitation theft of Walter Hill’s comic book gangland fable).

            They shoot at balding dealers and old people and answer to a guy in a limo named The Colonel (who won’t show his face, a Dr. Claw from Inspector Gadget imposing like figure)! The other Deodato filmed in parts of Miami classic is the superior Cut & Run (one of my all time favorites)! This is the weaker of the Florida related films. All the ingredients for something highly entertaining is here, but this film is dull and lifeless, shockingly two years later Cut and Run would come out and the screenwriter involved with Raiders; Vincenzo Mannino also penned House On The Edge Of The Park! So what happened? Not sure, but this is more watchable than Deodato migraine inducing garbage like Dial: Help or BodyCount!
Cheech & Chong meet your replacement: Mike & Mohammed
            Ed Mannix (Al Cliver’s voice actor) dubs Ivan Rassimov this time, he plays Mike’s other pal Bill Cook. Ivan's imposing presence is wasted here are a side character that just tags along. A Nuclear physicist finds Mayan artifacts and a magical skull tablet and a cuter version of Lorraine De Salle (Cannibal Ferox, Wild Beasts) named Cathy Rollins is an archeologist who goes along for the ride on the expedition. All the workers in a lab yell at Russian submarine footage as a crystal skull mask is found in a vault.
            Mad Max/ Warriors/ Drednought type bikers mysteriously show up and wreak havoc, their appearance coincides with giant tidal waves that strike! Mike and Mohammed get tossed out to sea on their vessel. Washington/Mo makes Chewbacca like grunting sounds during a sonic wave alert. They show up on a fake Matool like island as Manuel one of their crew members goes ape shit and threatens to kill them. He soon dies by arrows slung by The Warriors type gang in bad makeup and Mohawks. One dude gets his head cut off by a wire and another looks like a Samoan Solomon Grundy. They find some hogtied sailors and a bunker with an arsenal of weapons. From this point on in the film it turns into an Intellivision videogame, as they blast away gang members and go through mazes, waterfalls and battle lazer robots (I’m realizing this sounds way better than executed in the film)! The gang leader wears a glass skeleton mask and stares menacingly; the heroes fight back with Molotov cocktails and napalm. The echoey death cries are extra loud and later on the voices get sped up. 

He Man your fate is sealed

             The team finds some coked out party goers that tell them about the mystery gang, they are called The Interceptors (a crew so lame they couldn’t even hang with Skeletor or The Orphans)! The pitiful gang slowly rides around in a huge Cadillac and threatens to execute all except one (Cathy the scientist, who later wears Kabuki Makeup and contacts the leaders of Atlantis). The party people seem to show up just to be killed in various creative ways. The film puts zero effort into futuristic special effects and everything is either too dark or nondescript. The gore makeup is slim or nonexistent, which for this director is unforgivable. There’s one single decapitation, which was copied from She Devil’s On Wheels. The Cult of Atlantis need Cathy the scientist to bring them to the surface for some unknown reason and they sort of resemble The Heaven’s Gate cult or the endless screens from Zardoz! You also get an irritating was it all a dream non-ending! Raiders Of Atlantis is a tedious, but fun ride and seems more of an Enzo Castellari post apocalypse film then a Deodato one. Slightly Recommended, make sure you have tons of beer!

I think the acid just kicked in

Die crustacean biker scum

Decapitated Fish Biker


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