Sunday, August 11, 2013

Naked Vengeance

Naked Vengeance  Directed By Cirio H. Santiago starring Deborah Tranelli (1985)
We here at TOG are major fans of the revenge subgenre, I mean there's nothing better than finding a lost rape/revenge classic that fits in with the best of them. It's almost as good as finding a bag of peanut M&M's in the back of the fridge, that you totally forgot about!
   Naked Vengeance stars Karen Carpenter stunt double (TV veteran of Dallas and Three's Company) Deborah Tranelli. She sings the Pat Benetar sounding title theme (which is very syrupy)! It follows her around like she has it on a loop coming from a tape recorder in her pocket.
   One night while out on a date with her husband, they both try to stop a girl from getting mugged and it ruins their lives (moral of the story, if you see a crime, ignore it)!
   Her husband is shot to death and after his funeral, she decides to return to the hicktown she grew up in called Silverlake. Seriously, though no matter how much you may want to recuperate by moving back in with your parents, take a vacation instead! Especially if you grew up in a town crawling with rapists who act like they'll screw anything that moves too slow.
   The first signs of trouble begin when Carla stops at a gas station and a creepy old boyfriend from high school still holds a grudge against her, he's just one of many, who think that anyone who managed to escape this shitty town, are high class and over privileged. It just escalates into a full blown hate fest as she bumps into more lecherous and angry townies. JUST LEAVE ALREADY!
Today's special: "Hot Beef Injections"
   There's a butcher named Fletch who looks like sports commentator Dick Butkus, he comes onto her in his shop and later calls her a closet nympho. It seems as though Carla is outnumbered by horny slimeballs, who are jealous of her success as an actress and want to get in her pants. One night at a dive bar, Fletch and his cronies get drunk and plot how they are all gonna gang rape her. They find out she's by herself that very night and hunt her down like an animal, each one begins to force themselves on her (this rape scene is almost as unpleasant as in I Spit On Your Grave). Keep in mind, this is before internet porn was invented, so apparently back in the day all men were sexually frustrated animals frothing at the mouth!
somebody call the white buns busters?
   Then it goes from bad to worse, as her parents decide to surprise her and come home early, Big Mistake! They find her surrounded by drooling goons with shotguns and angry hard-ons! Fletch and his gang end up shotgunning both of Carla's parents and incriminating one of their own out of the fear of being caught.
   Like in most revenge fantasy flicks, the protagonist makes a full recovery soon after and starts dishing out punishment almost immediately, no therapy required! Although that's only half true, because it turns out Carla is a genius at acting traumatized for the hospital staff while sneaking out and killing her enemies on the side. Carla is totally relishing in the fury of vanquishing these scumbags, the first one to go is a bar tender as she forces him at gun point to dose himself with liquor and she burns him alive! After each death she'll mutter to her self BURN, or DROWN, with clenched angry teeth. 
Thanks for feeding the fish

   The deaths get really creative, it's as if she's assumed the role of Robert "Exterminator" Ginty crossbred with Camille Keaton from "I Spit On Your Grave". To call this a ripoff of that classic would be missing the point. We do get to see Carla's giant 70's bush at one point, but she never blatantly uses her sexuality as bait, its more subtle (if you can believe that)! This leads to a montage of richly deserved gruesome deaths as Fletch and his gang are turned into human ice cubes, dickless mortal fish, crushed under cars and reduced to burnt cinders. The idiotic sheriff suspects foul play, but never stops these creeps so he's just as guilty. 
Helter Scale-ter 

   The scales of justice begin to tip in her favor, and though I was slightly disappointed in the final showdown between her and Fletch, mainly because it doesn't lead to him being chewed up in a meat grinder. This is partially an update of I Spit On Your Grave, since both characters use their brutal sexual assault as fuel for their own cathartic, psychotic behavior against all members of the opposite sex and when the chips are down, transform into professional mercenaries. There's never a moment when I felt sorry for any of the male characters and was totally convinced that they had every reason to pay for their crimes This of course is pure exploitation fantasy, the best kind! Recently, Youtube decided to remove an uncut VHS rip, that someone took the time to upload from their own collection. This burns me up, because that is the only way genre fans are even able to see this rare film and someone should give this classic a proper release loaded with extras already!
Highly Recommended!


Gone Peen Fishin'

Our bowling league is called The Blue Balled Defilers, why do you ask? 

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