Sunday, February 3, 2013

Zombie Lake

Zombie Lake Directed By Jean Rollin  (1981). Starring Howard Vernon.
            This has a reputation as being one of the dumbest, worst, most pitiful underwater zombie flicks ever made, its so bad that Jess Franco abandoned it and then Jean Rollin took over. According to Wikipedia, Rollin only had two weeks to throw together this half baked slop and was embarrassed by it, he should be! I was very confused by Zombie Lame (or Lake) and figured it might be the only French zombie film (its probably not) it does keep you glued to the screen with constant naked women though. A naked sunbather pulls up the warning sign at a remote lake and dives in (there are so many gynecological shots of water logged beavers in Zombie Lake that its at least watchable, if you are straight). 
           Howard Vernon ( Franco's infamous Dr. Orloff) has to deal with all kinds of problems and the villagers literally pile up dead bodies on his doorstep! In a flashback to Nazi occupied France, the mayor and villagers kill Nazis and throw them in the lake. Why they came back from the dead is never explained. The word zombie is said only once in this “Zombie” movie, and mostly they are referred to as ghosts. The mayor lives in a gaudy house decorated with statues and gargoyles, maybe its all the nazi gold he stole from the dead bodies. Or maybe its all those Orloff bucks he made off the sequels and action figures. Next time you see a canal beware, there might be nazi bodies hidden at the bottom, a secret conducted by your mayor. The mayor bails the town out of jams and enlists the help of a little girl who saves the town, her father is one of the nazi zombies! Her father wears lime green jello makeup and gives her a necklace. These zombies’ brains may be infested but their hearts are still affectionate and tender. They make it hard to shut off this bad movie by adding a whole basketball team of female skinny dippers and I lost the remote! Expect terrible zombies but stay for the French hair pie. Sadly I found it more enjoyable then Shock Waves and have yet to see Oasis of The Zombies.
Why I never!

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