Thursday, October 18, 2012

Burial Ground

Burial Ground: The Nights Of Terror (Zombie 3, (Le Notti del terrore) Directed by Andre Bianchi (1981).
            During the pre internet world this film sat on video store shelves and bootleg catalogs in complete silence. No one you ever knew confided and exclaimed “Holy Shit check out this zombie film with a dwarf in a bad wig who tries to fuck his own mom!” If someone came up to you first you’d wonder if they were mentally ill and second, you’d wonder why you never bothered to watch it before! I obviously am in the second bracket and one night got really wasted and dialed it up on Youtube (on my Roku).
            I have to mention the internet (and the Peter Bark Myspace profile!) for turning a reluctant interest to see this film into a drooling ravenous pile of slop. The Peter Bark references litter the internet like dead probes in outer space and unplugged satellites. There are so many that you’d think everyone in America had sat down together around the couch and enjoyed the zombie/ incest antics together! That’s why the masses must remember that the internet never reflects the real society. It’s probably a very small mutant community. I recommend mixing as many substances as possible while watching this one because its insanely fun!
            Andrea Bianchi had obviously wanted to ride the maggot infested pasta yacht and hitch his tugboat up to Fulci’s, Romero’s and become the new Zombie king! I think he owes more to a dwarf in his 20’s wearing a dime store wig cast as a preteen then Giannetto De Rossi (who handles the zombie efx here and in the Fulci films). The zombies look like they were baked in a giant sized Thing Maker.

I can't handle all this fame!

Giannetto De Rossi's secret weapon

Where did my other glass eye roll off to?
            Peter Bark has invaded the internet and there are tumblr’s music videos and blogs devoted to his legacy(he’s almost as famous as the keyboard cat!) Check out this fun music video
The box cover on the video looks exactly like Fulci’s Gates Of Hell and has a Ken Foree like tagline (“When the moon turns red, the Dead Shall Rise”). The zombie makeup is incredible and they all have their own signature personalities (they look like a Mercer Mayer drawing covered in mummy flesh). If I didn’t know any better I would believe that Fulci ghost directed this flick, because it has all those familiar elements; like overdubbed unintentionally funny dialogue, walking flower pot zombies and a haphazardly throw together storyline. The only red flag is the incest, which makes this film so strange and gives it a D’Amato feel! It comes out of nowhere and ends with old Barkey taking a gory bite out his mom's titty. Maybe if I re watched it sober and tried to over analyze it into some kind of metaphor that the director will most likely invent, I could, but I’d rather just enjoy this train wreck and not sort through the mangled bodies and rubble.
Hilarious review at Kindertrauma

Watch the entire thing here LINK

Why I never!

No Autographs please


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