Sunday, August 24, 2014

The Werewolf And The Yeti

The Werewolf And The Yeti (Night of the Howling Beast) Directed by Miguel Iglesias, starring Paul Naschy (1975). 

This film has a reputation for being one of stupidest of all time and is the prime example of just how ludicrous and hypocritical the Video Nasty list was. It is fun to see what they deem offensive though and "Sharky" one of Hollywood High's number 1 fans convinced me that I should give this trashter-piece a closer look. God help us all, for what terrors I'm about to unearth onto the internet. Needless to say if you plan on watching this yourself, keep your expectations on the level of the deepest darkest basement. Don't watch the Youtube version it's broken and censored.

you forgot the "D"

   It begins with extra loud wind noises as Paul "Wolfman" Naschy, lookin' like Chewbacca on meth, slaps around some skiers out in the snow. The animated credits float over his mugging face. I can't imagine that even in the non-dubbed version anyone besides hardcore Naschy fans could take this one seriously, but then again I'm not in that sect of devotees. 

 Naschy playing a character named Waldermar is an expert Nepalese speaking archeologist, who sees photographic evidence of Yetis and agrees to travel into the frozen tundra to capture the rare beast. The Winter Sasquatch picture looks suspiciously like the famous Patterson-Gimlin one.   

Sheesh, this parka is alittle too snug

   This is my third Naschy flick, I enjoyed what I'd seen and I know to watch what I say around ravenous fans of the Spanish wolfman, because alot of them (oddly enough) have no sense of humor. I'm not going to pull punches though and so far the best I can muster up about the film is that the goofy dubbing is mildly amusing. The Yeti scares the shit out of some locals and they refuse to join the expedition for fear that "the demons of the red moon" will strike!
   The local Nepal musicians play a song over a religious rite that sounds like a honking strangled goose. This is the ultimate in moronic behavior as far as the Video Nasty list goes, maybe those Brit's had lycanthrophobia or were scared of that ugly dog on the video box. 
The Spanish wolfman accidentally stumbles into a strange cave for shelter. This turns out to be the worst place for him to end up, because he encounters a gaggle of wolf-babes who attack and bite him. Then a full moon rises in the sky and you can guess what happens next!

I dunno about you but mine tastes exactly like Oscar Meyer Bologna

   The transformations are of the stop motion Lon Chaney Jr. type, which are always good for a laugh. Practically all the the secondary characters are stupid hunters that add nothing to the plot aside for quick easy wolf meals!

I swish the marinara around in my cheek before I spit it on the pizza fuggetabout it!

   The werewolf sometimes has long Spock ears and looks like he has a mouth full of tomato paste after a snack. 
   All of a sudden a Khan shows up with backne, he has a harem of babes and thinks the Dr. (I'm guessing the wolfman is also a doctor as well as an Archeologist) will help cure his back problems. This is where the gory back transplant for the Khan scene shows up, you could inject whatever elements from more entertaining horror flicks and this wolf diaper would still stink!

   I'll say this for this film, I like the snowy locations--there's a positive!
   It starts to get like a very special episode Kung Fu as a bearded medicine man surrounded by candles agrees to help Naschy with his wolf-itus. 
   I'm still waiting on that Yeti, there's this evil Khan character who threatens to take over the entire second half. Even if this film is a total waste, I'd be slightly satisfied if at least there is a monster mash at the end.

  OK, they deliver a piss poor day-for-night monster battle in the lowest light conditions possible, I mean it looks like to shadows chasing each other (I can't tell who's the Yeti and who's the wolf)! It ends on a happy note, which is good for them but shitty for everyone else, especially the "Yeti", who we never get to actually see, well we see him for a split second! Even if you're the kind of horror fan that can tolerate the most tediously dull shit, you'd be hard pressed to find something to latch onto here. Or maybe I just don't get Paul Naschy, I want to like him and know there's another film I've yet to see that's alot better then this wolf dump! 


Don't forget about me, I'm still here!

  Special Thanks to Bruce Holecheck for posting this rare VHS cover for this film on his site


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