Monday, August 18, 2014

Because of the Cats

BECAUSE OF THE CATS ( Brutalization, THE RAPE) Directed By Fons Rademakers, Starring  (1973)

Skunkape and I rented some random big box video and a trailer for this particular film came on, in a drunken stupor, we both jumped up and said what the fuck is that, I must watch it!
Maybe it was the stupid title that distracted our attention, we're more Laura Gemser and less Sylvia Krystal fans. From the trailer I couldn't tell what kind of film I was in store for and I sort of forgot about it for a long time.

   Well, thanks to someone on Youtube, I'm able to finally watch this Mod sex / Clockwork Orange clone. Everything about it is naughty "After Dark eurotrash" and it was filmed in The Netherlands. 
   An ear slapping rock number joyfully blares on the soundtrack, it goes "Everybodies feeling, everybody's dealin', cuz tonight's gonna be the night"! The title track which sounds a lot like The Sweet, doesn't really set the mood at all, because it's clunky and way too excited about what depravity is about to unfold. The song is even on a NEDERGLAM compilation, which is a musical subgenre that's totally alien to me. I'd prefer to listen to a 60's dutch beat compilation with The Outsiders than peppy glam bubblegum. 
   Apparently tonight is the night for rape and vicious assault, perpetuated by a gang of creeps who resemble The Mentors (or The Rip Offs) if they dressed for a fancy prime rib dinner.

Oh, Why did I call The White Buns Busters?!!

   Bob the slob's very sexy wife is gangbanged by all the blokes, it's handled in an erotic way, unlike the uncompromising ghastly way the rape is shown with Alex and his Droogs-- nothing can top that stomach turning display.  
   We see the street thugs later in jeans and t-shirts target practicing on cans of Stella Artois (fucking snobs)! 

Lager for Twats Only!

   The story settles into a subplot about a British vice cop named Van der Valk played by Bryan Marshal (BMX Bandits, The Punisher), who we get the unfortunate treat of seeing his wedding tackle, as he cavorts with a blonde prostitute. 

YAWN! I'm so bored

   There's a fascinating scene in an "Ice Cream Disco" with kids playing pinball, it turns out to be the gang's hideout, they have a pet raven that says "Squawk, Look out it's a cop"! This is where the detective puts all the pieces together on who the thug rapists are. Most of them turn out to be blue blood twerps (the hoity toity beer can target scene should've been the red flag, that these masked dudes are rich and love to smash things). None of these Dutch dudes have any presence and the set at times, kind of looks like 60's Batman. Even when it gets slightly tedious, the production design makes it bearable. 

They don't call us "Rape-Rock" for Nuthin'

   The cop starts illegally questioning various kids about "The Cats" and the rape of a 40 yr old woman, it's sort of odd that he would risk his job in order to take down an entire gang because of this assault, but that's the premise here. I've never read the novel but it seems that in swinging London (or The Netherlands) adults were threatened by this new breed of mod hooligans. They slightly had reason to worry because eventually Mods would become either Skinheads or leave the scene all together, forced out by nationalist politics.  
   The jazzy incidental music in CATS sounds like an intermission time snack bar jingle, it's abnormally square for a 70's film. The Ice cream disco manager is a lurid Nedercreep who dresses all in beige, once he gets wise that gang members have begun to squeal, bad shit starts to go down, like a poor mutilated cat who gets disemboweled.

insert Austin Powers joke here

   It's difficult for me to side with the policeman, because in the "Charles Bronson fantasy scenario" the punks are there to rape and kill without remorse and the old codger exterminates them, but he's usually involved on a personal level, psychotic and has a grippe against these kids. The cop in this film is jealous of the youth and should just let it go, he stirs up too much trouble for one single rape. We hardly even see what the victimized couple from the beginning are up to, who he goes completely out of his way to protect, making it his "generation gap vendetta" against The Cats, which is kind of stupid! 

   Silvia Krystal finally shows up as one of the girls who swims naked and drowns one of the gang members, who had just received scuba gear for his birthday.    
 This film doesn't have the brain power of a Clockwork Orange, so they hurl whatever political ideology the gang has into a ridiculous kung-fu training montage. They even sacrifice another cat! 
 The momentum is a total drag, but there's enough eye candy and strangeness to keep it mildly entertaining. 

I'd give it 2 STARS ON THE CULT-O-METER, nothing special. 


OK turn to the left, here are your driver's licenses



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