Thursday, June 30, 2016

The Secret Life Of Jeffrey Dahmer

Secret Life Of Jeffrey Dahmer Directed By David Bowen, Starring Carl Crew (1993).

Now that the infamous Wisconsin necrophile or Ed Gein of the 90's is long dead, bludgeoned to death in prison, we now know every piece of ghastly info about these horrific crimes--maybe too much. There's at least 10 different fictionalized renditions of the Dahmer story, a bounty of repulsive gratuity preserved for the masses to pick over like vultures.

But in 1993, hardly any biopics were available, considering that the cannibal deviant had just been apprehended and this movie came out moments before all the severed body parts had yet to be removed from the icebox! Someone had to take the bullet (or sip the drug induced can of Bud) before anyone so that's what David Bowen and Carl Crew decided to do. In my estimation there hasn't been a more effective or realistic accounting of what actually went on. Yes, the editing is totally shitty and the film is clunky and cheap but it's all handled in a revolting stomach charmingly accurate way that doesn't gloss over any of the details. The film makers even go out of their way to dedicate the film to the victims and their families. Which is kind of funny to think they'd believe those that survived would want to watch an exploitation film showing their lost relatives being eaten and or dismembered.

not that many topping options for an on the go cannibal like me at Little Caesars 

In high school I was pretty obsessed with all the weird details about this case that kept surfacing each week. I even audiotaped a tabloid interview with him that wound up in my guidance counselor's desk, it's kind of embarrassing and got me in a lot of psychiatric trouble (as if I needed more of an excuse for the moronic school board authority to think I was mentally unstable). Hey I guess you could say it was the 90's, whatever that means!

By all means finish that stupid Lena Dunham New Yorker article

One aspect that almost all versions of the story leave out is how Dahmer kept a VHS copy of The Exorcist 3 playing repeatedly and wanted to emulate Brad Douriff's possessed character while drilling holes into his victims heads. This film does show him baiting different dudes with promises of 150 bucks if they'd just take some Polaroids and hangout at his apartment and pouring acid into their earholes.

If you watch the Jeremy Renner version from 2002, it makes him seem like a lonely misunderstood gay man who's never shown eating human flesh, dissolving carcasses or doing anything remotely like the serial killer he's portraying. It's offensive because it seems to deliberately skip over all the facts and wants you to have sympathy for Dahmer, it's a real slap in the face. In the early 2000's there were tons of those cheapie serial killer fictional account movies cluttering up the shelves. They were annoying to see and I never really gave any of them a chance, mainly because I'm not a serial killer fanatic (obviously, otherwise you'd see more films of that type reviewed here). 

two guys can't sit here and enjoy champagne coolies, I thought this was America?

I'd been meaning to check this one out ever since I read the review in Psychotronic and saw the director and actor of this film on Geraldo, which there's zero evidence online that this interview ever occurred, I'd really like to watch it again.  

Secret Life, which is currently streaming on Fandor, shows how Dahmer as a youngster always had the overwhelming compulsion to murder and would constantly drink to suppress the urge.
In the beginning, he seems to have remorse after bashing in a workout buddy's skull with a weight and dumping the body. It's kind of funny how he does all this stuff under his Grandmother's nose, who even mentions she smells something rotten. Later on in his ghetto apartment he gets into a shouting fight with a neighbor who also mentions that the smell is driving her up the wall. You'd think he'd invest in some incense or a yankee candle! 

I'm totally down with Yo MTV raps!

Carl Crew's version of Jeffrey Dahmer is constantly plagued by contrition but I never felt sympathy for him and he obviously enjoys committing these crimes on a warped sexual level. It's pretty funny how he's seen wearing a She Devils On Wheels shirt, which I'm pretty sure came from this one catalog that Skunkape and I used to order from which also sold a poster of a man with elephantiasis of the balls.

Yeah that's right Skunkape totally had that giant balled freak poster in his closet

There's a lot of scenes with Jeff feeling guilty and regretting these murders but he still goes through with the ritual and at one point drills a hole in a victim's head and pours acid into his brain to try and create zombies. He also cuddles with human skulls (which he paints and adds glitter) and other rotten appendages. All of this disturbing shit stems from the insecurity that his captive will try to leave the apartment and they all end up in his collection or in his stomach.

I'm working on my bowling stance 

Most of his victims are taken away from various gay bars to his creepy apartment, but one dude that follows him home is not interested in beer. There are not that many intentionally funny scenes, most of it is played off in a grim manner but one scene cracked me up. This one guy just won't fall for the old drug laced brew that works to over power each victim. Instead he snacks on human meatloaf that Dahmer says is just "gamey venacin" and finally drinks a soda that gets the job done.

No thanks man, too young, I only eat beefy black dudes

He starts to get increasingly more sloppy and is begging to get caught, the narration talks about how he just wants it all to end. I liked how after awhile he goes from guilt to enjoying his bloodlust with examples of him sneaking up on a deaf victim with a powersaw and giggling or shoving a still awake guy into a barrel of acid that makes him scream "My feet are on fire"! 

I told you grandma that yucky smell is my steak-um sandwich

For a cheapie Intervision release this one has got some quality but I think it's due to the source material, if SledgeHammer had been a true story maybe that would've elevated it. Actually that aforementioned flick is pretty incredible, I got pretty wasted and live tweeted about it. The Severin DVD has commentary, which I'd be interested in listening to. This one is probably the greatest version of that other Wisconsin cannibal's story.


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