Tuesday, December 8, 2015

Kinjite: Forbidden Subjects

Kinjite: Forbidden Subjects Directed By J. Lee Thompson, Starring Charles Bronson (1989). 

This is the only time I can recall where Charles Bronson gets all racist, calling out Asian people in their part of the city where he's the minority in LA's China town! I'd expect this bullshit from Clint Eastwood but not a guy who practically looks Asian!

Chuck does some outlandish crazy shit like sodomizing a pedophile with a giant dildo, who was rudely interrupted while attempting to fuck Nicole Eggert (and that's just right after the credits)! It's not Scott Baio either. Lee J. Thompson is on board, so you know this Cinemax staple is about to get insane! Bronson forces a pimp named Duke played by Juan Fernandez to swallow his Rolex watch whole, sprays him with mustard and finally sics horny inmates on his ass in prison, how humiliating! Don't feel too sorry for Duke though because he is a kiddie prostitute pimp.

Willy Wonka made this watch for you to eat out of Oompa Loompa droppings

The great Sy Richardson is his henchmen, he's always entertaining to me and very out of character in this role, I kept thinking he was gonna pop in his funk tape and go into his Repo Man spiel. During one scene, they hang Sy over a railing Suge Knight style, his shoes slip off and they end up murdering him! Chuck does so many ridiculously illegal things here it's almost surreal. That's the entire point though, most of his films are just a beefed up dumb male fantasy of corruption, where everything can be solved by extreme violence and intimidation.

Fuck! are you crazy crackers from Death Row Records?

Kinjite's plot device also concerns Japanese businessmen assimilating into Western culture by way of a corporate seminar. One oily slime bucket played by James Pax goes too far on the subway with Bronson's daughter and tries to finger her! This is an odd coincidence and it's very weird and kind of gross how the young girls chant about "Partying" and Pax's character thinks that's the molestation signal.

Charles in Charge of that booty!

I think that most of the budget went into hair oil there's a lot of that greasy stuff dripping off of every other character's face or scalp. Whenever there's Japanese dialogue it's annoying how none of it is subtitled (not even on the DVD). Fumiko (Kumiko Hayakawa), the sleazy businessman's daughter, who talks like she's one of the Kids of Widney High, gets abducted and ends up working for Duke and his child prostitute ring. I felt really sorry for her, but you have to hear how oddly lethargic this girl's voice is. Duke puts on a little fashion show and then forces her to serve the public. One female client, who seems like a psychiatrist, talks to her while she sits in a chair, at least she doesn't have sex with them (at least not on screen). This one is overtly offensive and is a first for Bronson who basically plays fanatically Catholic racist dipshit cop who's a part time anal rapist! Go back to playing a disgruntled psychotic vigilante I say.

Mark Corrigan lent me his dildo Kenneth

Peggy Lipton plays his wife, she was in this right before Twin Peaks. Danny Trejo who was on the set of a lot of Cannon Flicks makes a very special appearance toward in the prison scene, look out for him. J. Lee Thompson had some duds in his career (Battle for the Planet of the Apes, aka "let's slap dollar store masks on everyone except Roddy McDowall") then again he also made my favorite most politically charged entry in the series Conquest of the Planet of the Apes and the oddball slasher Happy Birthday To Me. He also directed Murpy's Law which is my least favorite Bronson flick, I'm inclined to blame Kathleen Wilhoite but I do have a slight crush on her. She's super fucking annoying in that movie though! This was his last film so it's possibly Thompson just threw caution to the wind but I'm just baffled at how he convinced Chuck to even hold a giant dildo in the vicinity of a male ass. Oh well, cleanse that bizarre image away with a homoerotic Japanese ad for Mandom cologne.

I'm from the Trump campaign can we count on the abducted child prostitute vote? 

This one is extremely popular with good reason, it's one of the best Bronson flicks among other favorites of mine like 10-Midnight, The Evil That Men Do (which Golan and Globus released separate from Cannon) and Death Wish 3. Oh yeah, one thing I should mention David Axelrod, an actor I know from Tim and Eric shows up as a security guard who almost gets his head knocked off. according to his IMDB, he has voiced a lot of Anime and even had a bit part in Lady Terminator and played a Paul McCartney impersonator on Family Matters. I've neglected to review many Cannon Films for some reason, mainly because I'm trying to cover only Deep Red related shit. More 80's trash will show up eventually--stay tuned.


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