Thursday, December 10, 2015

Avenging Force

Avenging Force (American Warrior 2, Night Hunter) Directed By Sam Firstenberg (1986).

I was taking to my Brother-in-Law about Cannon Films and he mentioned this Michael Dudikoff flick that I had never heard of. I was all amped up, not necessarily because I am a fan of the American Ninja actor but it was hard to believe I hadn't seen this Cannon Film, I'll pretty much watch anything the Israeli over bloated American propaganda studio churned out regardless. Also don't forget to check out Mark Hartley's excellent doc on the infamous studio.

Just watch the first 5 mins of AF and you will be sold! This apparently was penned as a sequel to Invasion USA, but when Chuck Norris decided to bail, they rewrote it as a stand alone flick. Unlike Deliverance, the pig fuckers of this swamp come equipped with samurai swords, cheesy masks and S&M gear and belong to a right wing fascist group known as The Pentangle! Led by one of my favorite tough guy actors John P. Ryan as Eliot Glastenbury, this group of pro-Nazi maniacs hunt humans for sport because like in The Most Dangerous Game, they are the ultimate prey.

This Rejuvenique facial mask really helps me butcher assassins more effectively

Michael Dudikoff instead of American Ninja is now Matt Hunter: American Cowboy who lives on a ranch with his Gramps and is best buds with Steve James aka Kung Fu Joe from I'm Gonna Get You Sucka and The Exterminator. There's so much unintentional hilarity going on in this Sam Firstenberg film that it's a must see. The director has made some of my absolute Sho Kosugi flicks like Ninja 3: The Domination and Revenge of the Ninja and of course he changed the universe forever with Breakin 2: Electric Boogaloo!

Kung Fu Joe needs your vote, don't let Mayor Goldie Wilson persuade you

When the Pentagle cretins are back in the office they all wear Conservative tuxes and are so Pro-American it's fanatical, back in 1986 it was sort of comical but this breed or hyper political racism is now the mainstream, which bizarrely enough makes Avenging Force almost ahead of its time! 
Dudikoff looks like he's trying to move a brick out of his bowels and remain ultra cool at the same time, he's has all the charm of a mobile slab of beef. It's funny to think about now if this were a Chuck Norris movie (which it was originally supposed to be), I think he'd side with the Pentangle's message of ridding society of Communism and yellow bellied Liberals!

No I'm not Limehouse Willie, you must have me confused, I'm a Walter Mathau impersonator

Limehouse Willie, played by James Booth, the sadistic bastard from Pray for Death shows up to work with Matt against the Pentangle. Dudikoff's acting consists of really hard stares, just check out this sample of his lethargic face paralysis in this intro to Bronx Executioner. This film dares to throw in a gratuitous car chase that drags things down and I'm glad Steve James is present, he's more likable then Dudikoff. They both lay the smackdown on some henchmen and one balding glasses wearing member is a funny standout. Later on, he gets shot in the shoulder and bawls like a giant baby.

Am I smoking bathsalts with a hint of PCP, indubitably!  

Elliot of course won't rest until the American cowpoke is dead and they firebomb his ranch house in the middle of dinner and it gets worse as they shoot Steve James with arrows and machine gun his son during Mardi Gras, but I guess that's life in the mean streets of Nawlins. I like how James' character slowly walks through the burning farm, trying to help out, but sadly it doesn't help. Limehouse Willie's research team are pretty clueless and consist of a bunch of Coke bottle bespectacled mustaches scratching their heads wondering where did it all go wrong.
The strangest part is how they kidnap Matt's little sister Sarah (Allison Gereighty) and recruit her into their teenage prostitution ring. Gereighty has a strange dubbed voice and must've been so terrible, because she never acted again. 

Brokeback 2: Ninja Rump Rangers

It all ends with a series of swampy brawls against each comical Pentangle member. Glastenbery manages to garrote Matt in his high priced mansion. Hunter gets strangled by razor sharp wires and by all logic should die a lightning quick death, but he must have cyborg bones because he just coughs a little and shakes it off. The pacing drags even for an hour and a half film, but I definitely recommended the movie and this is coming from someone who doesn't really like Michael Dudikoff that won't stop me from watching other films he's appeared in however, I might even give River Of Death a whirl after this enjoyable experience.

I wish I knew how to quit you Lord Humungus 


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