Friday, December 4, 2015

Cataclysm: The Nightmare Never Ends

Cataclysm: The Nightmare Never Ends (Satan's Supper), Directed by Gregg Tallas, Tom McGowan, Phillip Marshak. Starring Richard Moll (1980).

You've seen Night Train to Terror which has snippets of Nightmare and about five other films crammed together like a peanut butter and mayonnaise sandwich that adds up to a headache inducing disgusto-thon. This film was directed by 3 separate people, which should tell you something, too many cooks spoil the broth. Nothing about this travesty works and yet it's profoundly fascinating in a "I can't believe what I'm seeing" sort of way. Troma owns the rights to this one and Vinegar Syndrome offers the Night Train version (which is more coherent for some unknown reason). This one and Death Wish Club are available full length in the DR catalog. I knew there was something special about this Cameron "total dime whore " Mitchell/ Richard "Night Court's Bull" Moll Z-grade flick. 

It begins with deep sea magma footage of evolving rock, then a road trip with some of the most Thorazined-out dialogue looping I've ever heard. I mean just 2 mins in I'm ecstatic to watch this fiasco (or cataclysm which are just both synonyms for disaster) unfold or fall flat on its face. To me, this is a quintessential shit flick to steal Kris Gilpin's term. Claire Hansen, a ham faced lady played by the atrocious Faith Clift who has a more lethargic sounding voice than Frozen Scream's Liz Stanhope is plagued by a vision of Nazis machine gunning down a quartet of cello girls upon her visit to a dingy Vegas nightclub act. Her and her husband James Hansen (Moll) who's a novelist with a best selling book called "God Is Dead" go to see a cheapo psychic. It turns out the clairvoyant, a former ventriloquist is in league with Satan and soon after dies, (he scrawls "Moloch" in some sugar). Was it a warning, who knows there are tons of non sequiturs in this one, just go with it Sgt. Stedenko! 

Richard Dawkins eat your heart out

Next a blithering old man sees a David Cassidy looking dude on TV and starts having a conniption fit all over Cameron Mitchell because he was recognizes him as a Nazi who tortured him during the Holocaust.

Bring us your finest soiled bag of Pizza Hutt bread sticks

Robert Bristol who should've gotten hired as a Partridge family stunt double for Cassidy is a Mr. Olivier, a Nazi demon with cloven hooves and probably Satan incarnate only instead of doing anything terrifying with his powers he seems content to just haunt discos. So to clarify David Cassidy is an immortal vampire or demon Nazi and Cameron and Lawrence must try to defeat him. 

Satan is obviously really Danny Bonaduce in human form, not me

There's nothing more excruciating then an old coot babbling like a doofus, I was very annoyed at Marc Lawrence's performance in this role, he needed a hard slap that's not delivered. The way he prattles on like an idiot kind of reminds me of James Hong getting too cold in the organ transplant facility in Blade Runner.He goes down to a haunted house with spooky purple windows and gets eaten by a big rubber creature which burns a 666 on his stomach. Lawrence wears a Don Post looking shoddy old man mask and later on directed Pigs (aka Daddy's Deadly Darling), which I'm not sure even if they had a lighting technician and looks like it was illuminated by a stray Bic lighter. Oh Yeah, Troma owns the rights to that one as well. 

Cheap lighting and loose morals that's how you move product at Barnes and Noble

It's very weird to see Richard Moll shine as the best actor in this film. Satanists and wackos admire his agnostic book "God is Dead" and start following him like flies on sherbet. One bearded freak with a funny name Mr. Papini (Maurice Grandmaison) won't leave Bull alone and spouts his bargain basement philosophy about God and the Devil. When I saw him in Night Train I thought he was a Manson-type, but now I see here he's almost like the priest played by Dr. Who actor Patrick Troughton only with zero acting ability or presence. 

Dignity, what's that and yes they did pay me in Circus Peanuts

The subject matter is pretty dark  for this crummy film and the budget-less way it's all presented takes away the impact. Everybody meets up at to the disco, Moll, his wife, Cameron Mitchell and even the Satanic Partridge--I guess it's the place to be. Satan sits on weird throne in between two scrawny coked out babes. Mr Olivier, which is not a very sinister name, unless you're afraid of the Shakespearean actor from Marathon Man (come to think of it Marc Lawrence was also in that one which is an odd coincidence).

Every dude in this movie has a 70's hardy boy haircut and a satin jacket like all the garage bands in San Francisco used to for awhile until they all turned into Sons of Anarchy style beardos or drug casualties like Ty Segall.

UGH, Gross I hate Billy Corgan

Claire inexplicably visits a black psychic who keeps referring to himself as a "nigger," OK, that part is totally offensive and uncalled for. I wonder if the script writer, after penning a semi interesting story saw what they did to his screenplay and immediately blew his brains out William H. Macy Boogie Nights style.

The agnostic "God is Dead talk show scene" is intact from Night Train and Bull's hair looks kind of like a male Bride of Frankenstein. There are elements of this film that are fun and I could see why they'd try to salvage it for a compilation anthology but it still all adds up to a tepid brainless very special episode of Tales From The Darkside.

Bob Tilton stole my shit yo!

I like how Mr. Olivier gets pissed off that Bull thinks believing in Satan is just as stupid as belief in God and then is crunched by a demonic force until his eye pops from the socket.
Panini is the worst protector ever, he kind of resembles a homeless Stanley Kubrick. When he gets thrashed by one of Satan's nuns, who sticks her side butt at him, I was overjoyed! They end up giving the immortal Partridge a live autopsy. If there's one way to kill the devil it's through amateur botched surgery am I right? The ending is pretty crazy so stick around for that.


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