Tuesday, November 18, 2014

Luther The Geek

"Luther The Geek" (1990)
Directed by: Carlton J. Albright
Written by: Whitey Styles (aka Carlton J. Albright) 
Starring: Edward Terry, Joan Roth, Stacy Haiduk

Review by: "Machine Gun" Kristin

 Ahh, that first shot on the screen of that construction paper like city back drop set to that "News At 11" weird stock music really spells quality doesn't it? Eh, if you're not sure of what I'm referring to, I'm describing the Troma movie opening (pictured above) tacked onto all their releases with head honcho, Lloyd Kaufman and Michael Herz's names in yellow letters. I can't say for certain that all Troma films are bad, (they're not to a degree), most are sorta bland, but also probably important to the history of B Movies in general. Here we have one of the bad ones from their catalog: "Luther The Geek". It's about a carnival freak named Luther Watts who killed people as a teenager, was thrown in jail and then is released for being a "model prisoner". He's a "geek" because he "likes to bite his victims on the neck and watch them bleed to death". This was brought on by witnessing a fellow "freak" bite a chicken's head off, which I guess he wanted to imitate. 

young Luther

Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! 

Is he a "cereal" killer? harhar

There's some fun blood gushing scenes from Luther's neck-biting method of killing his victims. He's played by Edward Terry, who looks like a janitor blend of Ron Howard and Christopher Lloyd. Luther gnaws on a old lady (who I first thought was a guy in drag) at the grocery store and fountains of what resembles soy sauce spews from her neck. He hides in another lady's (Joan Roth) backseat and coincidentally ends up at her chicken filled farmhouse in the boonies. Her last name is LAWSON as spelled in all capital letters across her mailbox, typographically shouting at you. Luther bites her chicken's head off, ties her up and then her stupid daughter Beth (Stacy Haiduk) unknowingly shows up with her dumb-ass "smile ball" boyfriend, Rob (Thomas Mills). This of course calls for some nudity! Haiduk and Mills seem to be the only ones who seemed to have a career post "Geek". Haiduk with a long list of soap opera roles (The Young And The Restless, Melrose Place, etc) and other various movies/tv credits. Mills having many random TV parts.


 A love story!

The many loves of Luther!

Luther clucks like a chicken throughout the film. I guess after witnessing a freak biting the head off a chicken in exchange for a shot of whiskey messed up his mind. I personally thought of it as just plain stupid as opposed to so silly that it was weirdly disturbing like the killer's quacking from "New York Ripper". There's so many problems with the razor thin plot line (if there is one) with "Geek" and the pacing is sluggish at best. We're stuck watching a group of morons trying to escape a killer who by pathetic comparison is a genius who happens to only speak in chicken. I couldn't understand how the daughter could untie her mother's (LAWSON!) gag over her mouth, but somehow is dumbfounded by the knots around her arms and legs. Beth's ridiculously idiotic choices throughout the movie are mind boggling. I mean, you want to yell at the screen. AAHHH!!!

Somebody forgot their teeth! 

Yep, this movie was a hard one to watch, made worse by having to rewatch it multiple times for clarity and screenshots. Blecchhh. If we were going by the original Deep Red ratings, this one would get a dog! Hell, give it 5 dogs, it's really bad! It's unfortunate, because the first 5 minutes are the fairly entertaining. Instead of sticking with the freak show theme, delving into the origin of the "geek" we end up at the farm house in the middle of Illinois somewhere. Greeaatt. It should've been set during the murders he committed in his teenage years in the 1940s and 1950s. Instead, we're shown this history in green text across an old computer screen. I think this movie should renamed "Attack Of The Bumbling Fools". You just don't like anyone in this film enough to have them saved, their lack of cranial capacity has brought their fate upon themselves. There's many who like this movie. I guess I'd say, more power to ya. I've never seen one before, so I guess I can't join in on the "haven't seen it in awhile, have a childhood appreciation for it" crowd.

I'm back for that cup of coffee!!

The Chicken Dance

If you'd like to check out "Luther The Geek", watch it HERE
You can purchase it through Troma HERE
Apparently there's some unfunny sounding appropriate behavior on the DVD involving fake blow jobs and Lloyd Kaufman. Not a good combination. 

Check out my Etsy shop HERE
I most of the time make buttons for my reviews, but man, this one just didn't warrant one. If you have any button suggestions, feel free to write me

Here's the trailer!

1 comment:

  1. Funny, I hated this the first time I saw it but I watched it a couple years ago and actually liked it. Definitely not button worthy.


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