Saturday, December 28, 2013

Invitation To Ruin

Invitation to Ruin Directed By Roger Gentry (as Trygge Rone) Starring Jerry Delony (1968).
The only reference I had for this film was trailer I saw on Horror Of 42nd Street of a tubby looking satanist sitting between a busty blonde with a giant beehive and in one of the first Something Weird catalog's I ever laid eyes on. Now I have the hardcore insert version (I'm not sure what I'm getting myself into, but It's time to wade waist deep in a pit of scum and refuse).

What's that rancid odor coming from your zipper? 
   They don't waste time with the beavers and random pop-shots, you can tell immediately when they switch back, because the film stock looks like it was kept under a pile of razor wire (I've never watched a film with more spaghetti film scratches and cigarette burns in my life)! That's OK, because I'm certain the top quality script and seamless editing will make it all worth while (yeah right)! 
   Bob Cresse, exploitation dealer and allegedly Lee Frost are responsible for this inept pile of shit, they've worked together on filth like Love Camp 7 and Frost later made one my favorite racist goofball comedies, The Thing With Two Heads.
   A girl in a an overly processed weave brings in the invitations and we're off! Mr. Alexander gets his wiener waxed (I imagine they hauled in a barrel of ghastly sex loops thrown away from a random adult theater and spliced back into this atrocity). 
Why Yes, I'm a celebrity!
   But wait, it gets better, a famous celebrity is in our midst, who could it be? It's someone only Skunkape, Richard Linklater and I care about, Jerry Delony from Slacker and Ilsa, Harem Keeper. That vampiric, bordering on tranny looking, dapper gentleman from Texas (incidentally both him and Gentry are both from Austin and the director collaborated on two films featured on TOG: The Love Butcher and Black Gestapo).
   Deloney plays an undercover agent trying to bust Ernie Pulaski and his dominatrix with gigantism lurking in the basement. This flick consists of tons of random scenes of people sitting in rundown offices and chatting, while flashbacks or porn inserts start to happen. 
   Ernie Pulaski (Moe Weise, who stopped acting after this) a scuzzy flesh peddler who runs a prostitution ring, convinces Jerry Sloane (director/actor "Jim" Roger Gentry) to go into business with him. He goes to work, nabbing dopey girls off the street to be trained like animals over at Ernie Pulaski's dungeon. The unnecessary porn inserts continue and get really tedious! 
   Pulaski looks like a cross between Jerry Stiller and Anton LaVey and there's a beastly women down in the pit who looks like Clarabelle (played by Bertha Bigg), the clown from Howdy Doody, giving topless girls fifty lashes!

Whip it good
   A character named The Sheik (not Ed Farhat!) makes an appearance (he looks like Paul Bartel with more hair) he proceeds to have some of the nastiest, vomit inducing sex ever captured on screen! It was so gross, that bile started to slither into my throat, his saggy body looked like a flesh covered elephant! 
   Jerry (Gentry) falls for creepy Ernie's daughter, what little thin fabric of storyline there exists is very dull. 
Gimme a salami and liverwurst sandwich to go with this boob
   The spliced in porn scenes get more abrupt and they even use the same library music heard in the "Tide" segment of Creepshow and later NOTLD (Romero should remake this, instead of wasting his time riding on the success of The Walking Dead, yeah right)!
They show a frumpy old lady whipping a girl in the dungeon, where they condition them for human trafficking. If I had a video copy of this, I'd smash it with a hammer and flush the plastic pieces and magnetic tape down the toilet!  


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