Voices From Beyond

Voices From Beyond Directed By Lucio Fulci, Starring Karina Huff (1991).

Maybe you heard that Fulci made a kids movie about a lovable wolf dog named White Fang with Franco Nero and wanted to check it out. Well, if you like extreme gore and sexual violence try this made for TV romp instead! It begins with an old dude named Giorgio (Duilio Del Prete) in the middle of boning his lady friend while an annoying moppet rudely interrupts. He grabs a knife and goes to silence the kid. It gets pretty ugly as he stabs the shit outta him. Amazon Prime bought a bunch of Code Red flicks that are currently streaming. So don’t sleep on it, because they may all be gone soon. CR is one of those elusive companies that I've bitched about in the past, they promise all these exploitative gems bursting with extras (like the Human Experiments one that had Vincent Gallo interviewing Lynda Haynes that may not even exist) and they all fetch for high ass prices on Ebay and are either in the hands of a select few or impossible to find.

Shut up about Vincent Gallo, I'm gonna retch!

Lucio Fulci wrote the script as well, which is rare for him. The lighting is very soft on a tele novella style and Stelvio Cipriani really phones in a terrible score which is a tragedy because he’s one of the best soundtrack guys.

We get lots of the normal eye zooms and weird looking people which is patented Fulci trait. During a nasty abdominal incision performed by the director himself, they don’t even bother to shave his belly, it’s pretty vile!

OK so this is where the mangina will go.

We do in deed hear the "voices from beyond" as advertised. There’s a lot of Italian dudes in weird oversized dykey glasses. Rosy (Karina Huff) a frumpy but mildly attractive girl comes home to find all these bitches hated her dad (the guy in the beginning who stabs the kid). We see the currently dead Giorgio’s past encounters and we get to meet the performers this way. Even after death he doesn’t stop quawking. Blab Blab blab, at one point he continues to talk even after worms are munching on the cartilage of his face!

JUST SHUT UP ALREADY!

Rosey looks like an extra from Full House and she keeps having nightmares of him chasing her. Man what happened to Fulci? I think it has a lot to do with him separating from his best screen writer Dardano Sachetti. At the time, Sachetti was writing for Fabrizio De Angelis and working on a few TV shows like The Return of Ribot (whatever that was). You’d have to put up with a lot of dopeyness to like this one it’s pretty retarded.

Am I stylin' or what?

There’s an old dude they refer to as a mummy that actor was in the Van Damme Rodman flick Double Team and Cannibal Holocaust, impressed? We get some Jess Franco looking zombies in a dream sequence, man how low has Fulci sunk to rely on shitty zombies? This is almost depressing. Rosy shows off her weird boobs, so stick around for that or maybe just take a nap and set an alarm. Oh and there’s a bunch of talking eyeballs that squirt blood! Keep in mind these are nightmares and possibly a record for dream sequences. The film was dedicated to Clive Barker. If you want to simultaneously be depressed and amused than dial this flick up on instant. More Code Red goodies are available so check them out before they disappear again or don't see if I care!

I taught Rodman everything about North Korea

Do my boobs look that weird?