Monday, April 23, 2018

Ain't No Way Back

No Way Back Directed By Michael Sweney, Starring Campbell Scott. (1990).

Everything about this opening from the commodore computer graphics to the corporate high-rise is pre-Neil Breen before that chucklehead even existed. It's a no budget Deliverance copy with Campbell Scott, the guy from such Gen-X classics as Singles and Powder, he reminds me of Michael Stipe. This was churned out by Troma, I found it even worse than Dumpster Baby if that's an endorsement! Lloyd Kaufman and company have so much garbage it's always weird to me how Chas resorted to peddling them on the street market. This one is described in the catalog as containing "Moonshiner mutants" but there are zero to be seen, maybe this is the wrong movie.

does this hat make me look like Merle Haggard?

The narrator reminisces about his gay relationship with his chum. Could this be a Proto Brokeback Mountain?

We've tackled A few hixsploits before like Poor Pretty Eddie, Prime Cut, Hunters Blood but so for this one seems like a lamest of that genre. Maybe I had a feeling about it, that's the reason it's taking me so long to review it. There's a lot of terrible stock footage with Campbell acting or reacting to it. I wish they would remake this with Aziz Ansari and Michael Stipe in an off Broadway play. The scary hillbillies wear newsboy caps and suspenders not a very menacing look.

Hicksters, PFFT am I right?

Campbell Scott even mentions how he doesn't want to be chased by the cast of a certain copyrighted John Boorman film, even though the banjo kid ended up in Blastfighter.

Did you say you were a film buff or a buttfreak?

The Azis guy wears a red baseball cap, now every time I see it I think of the stupid Nazi president. 
Scott hobbles around because he got stuck by a giant twig. All of a sudden it morphs into an episode of Little House on the Prairie with Uncle Leo from Seinfeld.

you mean I gotta leave Miami because of that antisemite? 

I watched Little House as a kid, because my Dad was obsessed with it, I just can't believe that old timey bullshit was ever on TV.

It's even weirder that Troma acquired this release because who has the attention span for a rejected old timey prospector episode?

ACKKK MAKE IT STOP! I'll do a sequel to Powder!

Campbell gets shot and nursed back to health buy buy some hillbilly chick. And then he teaches her about capitalism--way to go America. Remember how Powder was controversial because the director was convicted child molester, I saw that in the Coral springs movie theater when it came out. As shitty as that other movie was it makes this one look even worse. This film is halfway thru and they still haven't introduced any inbred rapist or southern justice kind of crucial plot elements that would make it any better. Well one hillbilly scares him enough to try and figure out how to use a gun. Mildly interesting but really not enough to save this film. The only interesting part so far is one Uncle Leo forces Campbell to kill chickens for dinner.


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