Thursday, January 21, 2016

Black Magic 2

Black Magic 2 (Revenge of the Zombies, Bewitch Tame Head, Gou hun jiang tou), Starring Lo Lieh Directed by Meng Hua Ho (1976).

In October, I mentioned how I planned on reviewing this film, well, I got some Xmas money and bought a copy of this film and here we are again. I've always liked the poster art for Black Magic 2 aka Revenge of the Zombies, which shows a grim reaper hovering over a naked women bathing in a skull cavity (I even made it into a t-shirt on Redbubble, order here).

The film is better than its predecessor in my opinion, it starts off in a completely bat-shit crazy assed way with a giant alligator terrorizing some cute bathers as a witch doctor baits the big green fellow with a hanging live chicken and then proceeds to gut him Chief Brody/ Matt Hooper style and fish out tin cans and boots. I never do this, but I actually turned on the English language track to hear the goofy dubs. I guess I wasn't in the mood to read (and Tokyo Shock had me all intrigued because they went out of their way to sync up to the original audio tracks).

Try KFC's new Gator-turd-chicken double down sandwich

There's a swanky strip club that some dude hauls his friends over to by saying "The food's good". Mr. Lo "Mein" Leih, plays a pervy wizard, this dude is my favorite SB actor, that intense face and menacing twinkle in his eye--I mean he's got some major fucking presence let me tell you, I've enjoyed all of his roles over the years. We introduce his character who's a Satanic sorcerer in the middle of what I can only describe as screw brain old lady transformation surgery (or what Chas referred to in the catalog as pounding 10 inch spikes and really out there man). Huh? Yeah that's right just pop in the DVD and confirm what I've just detailed. Leih is up to some sexual wickedness or run of the mill type SB horror shenanigans. He presents a girl with thorny flowers so he can collect her blood and then throw them together in a ritual that results in him getting into her pants.

NYUK NYUK, I learned this trick offa 3 well respected Jewish brain surgeons
I like how the other characters have a book that describes what a black magician is and that he must feed on breast milk everyday to stave off old age. It's good to have such a resourceful book just in case someone in the audience is dumbfounded by what's unfolding off the screen (which is often the case in these wild manic HK flicks). Man, with one drop of blood LL, who's evil wizard name is Kang Kong. Kong is able to control the girl like a zombie even from miles away and commands her to sleepwalk over to his pad (special delivery style)!

Hey let's re-enact that famous scene from the Third man with zero dollars

Satanism is really all about sexual dominance in these films and he tricks her into taking a pill so he can sip some of that sweet boob milk. He also shaves some of her pubes off and burns them. OK, El Rey network this year (2016 to be exact) it's time to play more full bush, worm feast SB's instead of dull chop socky's featured in the current rotation. I know you're trying to appease the Wu-Tang fans but they don't need your groveling, who am I kidding, I'm lucky at all that the infamous studio is available on Cable at all!

your aborted Meatloaf is ready, just garnish with some parsley

Kang gets to bang poor Margaret his victim without the aid of some of those Cosby roofies. And Oh yeah, I forgot to mention there's some zaniness going on at the hospital where patients are breaking out into skin pustules and worm rashes, possibly a HK version of Dr. Chanard will show up to make matters worse. Margeret stars to devolve into that heroin chic look (sunken eyes, hollow cheek bones) and even has a still born baby that all involved in the delivery call a monster (or freak in the subbed version). Kang acts funny in the way he pets his siamese cat which clings to his shoulder. He mutters some kind of incantation and hypnotizes them with his fashionable ring, it's also bizarre that in his basement he has a bunch of coffins and monks. Black Magic 2 has this great theme song that sounds like a funky version of the Odd Couple, which made me cackle like a loon! There's this weird concept of people turning old at the drop of a hat than reverting back to youth. Kang pimps out his old hag to one character who gets all pissed when he finds out that he was banging an elderly chick--Ha! No refunds! The moral here is don't make deal with an alchemist or fuck with black magic because you may find yourself attached to a voodoo doll that can crush you in the blink of an eye. Also in other magic related SB films, I noticed how it's always a decrepit old freak in a hut by a boiling kettle of entrails, but here Lo's character seems more like a rich playboy and does his devious work in his swanky mansion.

Who you calling a Pussy? 

I've read in other reviews that this film is just a rehashing of the first film only with Lo Leih in the title role as the wizard, that's total bullshit and I'm willing to bet the same schmucks think The Force Awakens was just a remake of the original Star Wars! 

That new BB-8 Droid looks totally cool to me

Every bodies a fucking two bit critic nowadays in a world where rotten tomato percents are considered an opinion! During the half way point hang onto your barf bucket because the worms start wriggling out of exhumed corpse chest cavities. The notion of being a clumsy oaf gets ridiculous as Kang keeps bumping into various people so he can get a blood sample and conduct more rituals. And if you're thinking why is is called Revenge of the Zombies when there aren't any--nope you're wrong because there totally are, just be patient. The ending with hooded zombified monks melting into puddles definitely reminded me of The Devil's Rain. The pacing is pretty frenetic and kind of gets to a comical state of weirdness but since it's a Ho Meng Hua, I wont put anything past that dude--he's out of his mind brilliant and should be more highly regarded beyond the exploitation realm. Mondo Macabro put out Queen of Black Magic (which is an unrelated Indonesian flick that they tried to pass off as a sequel to this film). It also will eventually be covered because it's in the catalog and I'm a sucker for Satanic bullshit from the mysterious East.


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