Saturday, March 11, 2023

TOG Returns!


Hey TOG readers I’m back after a long-needed sabbatical from the Interwebs. Well---- at least a break from performing as Lester Bangs, Rex Reed or Janet Maslin in the guise of a snarky film critic douche or punk legend. I don’t really know why I had to stop blogging. It started with Orange Combover Hitler than dissolved into laziness, I already ditched FB after I got wind that they were all Nazis, but then again fascism is super trending on Tik Tok like nobodies biz. I mean have you heard? Everything is really 

Plus, shit like Possession and Reflecting Skin are currently on Shudder now for you to gather round the glow of your pristine HD Television and enjoy, crack open a Hazy microbrew and cackle like a lunatic. Every Average Joe lunch-pail is able to see these incredibly rare flicks that we had on our site as hard to find sometimes in the form of VHS gems only (the attribute not corporation). Anyone with a microphone has a podcast that covers rare horror flicks now. So why does this threaten me? I guess I was paranoid that if every messed-up art house/ grindhouse movie became common knowledge the fabric of the space time continuum would erode. But it already has, I just didn’t know it. By this I mean the literal Earth’s core is going in reverse and no one even noticed. So, I’ll live with it, throw away my silly protective grasp I have on these films that I owe so much of my sanity to. Heck, I’m ecstatic that Mad Foxes is gonna show up on Shout Factory next to Cannibal Apocalypse any day now! Once I saw LHODES showed up on Tubi for any toddler to start up, I knew the Apocalypse was Nigh! But it’s fine and I have more movies to cover that were in the Deep Red Catalog (SEE??, that crudely stapled together artifact is fuggin prophetic!) 

Bring on the FILTH

These films are special to my formative years and bring me solace and I genuinely love the hell outta them. I’m not sure if everyone should watch them however. But I am happy they are available for all to view because fuck censorship. I fear it makes them disposable but maybe I have to accept the fact that we live in a disposable culture and the underground eventually rises to the top and becomes mainstream and we all become enslaved by its ignorance, some of us choose to let it affect us. One fear of mine, which we are all living through currently in 2023 (5 Years after 2019: After the Fall of NY) is that the fringe (you know Q-turds, Nazis, brainwashed rednecks, UFO peeps, Meatball Ron) will rise up and they surely have. I guess it’s just me getting old and my culture drizzling down the reservoir like Janet Leigh’s eye socket drainpipe. But I am back for now and plan on sticking it out at least for now. Look forward to USA UP ALL NIGHT WEEK Returning. If you missed the snarky reviews or wanna shout out anything nice in general. Hit us up in the comments. PEACE!
-Crankenstein/ EROK


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