Friday, January 20, 2017

American Nightmare

American Nightmare Directed By Don McBrearty, Starring Michael Ironside (1981/1983).

Haha, very funny Canada back in 83, how did you know even before Mike Judge that a reality show ape/ hemorrhoid faced clown would surround himself with a cabinet white supremacists, preach intolerance and dismantle the entire political system while everyone was too busy farting around on social media to notice. Actually that's complete bullshit, but you already knew that dear readers, this one is a Canuxploitation slasher that's number one selling point is that is has Alexandra Paul, the babe from Dragnet, Christine and Baywatch topless and acting super stoned and horny. She was also dating the director and this is her first role, but enough about her.

HACK, I swallowed a whole bag of Andy Capp Hot Fries while stoned

A rubber gloved john slices Tanya the hooker's throat, causing her brother to go searching for his prostitute sister. The Great White North just seems to have an over abundance of depraved half naked babes-- remember they shot Ilsa 3: Tigress of Siberia there and this one has all kinds of sleazy chicks. I learned a lot by reading Yum Yum of Houseofself-indulgence's review for this film. This was basically a time capsule of prime Toronto grime, when the streets were clogged with the legions of creeps on the level of "The Deuce" of the early 80s and 90s. Their grindhouse nostalgic domain was Yonge Street and The Zanzibar, which this movie preserves.
Everything about this one, so far, is like a zero budget ShowGirls. One stripper juggles naked in front of a poster for Connie Stevens Scorchy, another dresses like a cowgirl and they all worry about Tanya (Alexandra Paul's character).

obvious inspiration for Pink Floyd's double album A Nice Pair

Everyone is so fucking Canadian, why is it called American and not Canadian Nightmare? There's already a number of films with that catchy title, the most famous one to me being Buddy G's unedited cut of Combat Shock (which I ordered from Chas).

Michael Ironside shows up in basically the same outfit that he wore in Scanners, only its 3 years later. Ironside is never above showing up in trash, he was even in an episode of The Littlest Hobo, an 80's crime solving dog sitcom that was just mentioned on The Best Show as something to cheer us all up after the election. The murders are very similar to Maniac only the killer has no presence at all. The best part about this movie is that it's really sleazy and lots of skanks show off their assets.
One stripper played by Lenore Zann humps a pitchfork and she even carries it around off the clock as a weapon. Before this role Zann was in Visiting Hours, also with Ironside and Happy Birthday To Me. 

Peter Scolari from Bosom Buddies starting at his night job

Lawrence Day, the guy who plays Eric has all the acting style of a mannequin or Keir Dullea and his delving into the seedy underworld is sort of like Hardcore but very inept. There's a really offensive gay character named Dolly (Larry Aubrey) who seems to know everyone and I felt kind of bad when he dies. Aubrey appeared in the My Pet Monster live action video cassette special and The Vindicator, he's got quite a nerdy resume.

for Furries only

Through out the duration of the film, lurking in the background are all these dudes in tacky thrift store suits with buttons that save Uni-Save, which is a plot point that becomes very crucial toward the grand finale. I'm pretty certain it's making a statement that Uni-Cef is corrupt but I could be wrong.

holy shit it's a California Raisin in a Moe Howard wig!

There's graffiti and thought balloons that say Pink Floyd on the walls during some scenes, this movie is really stupid but it's enjoyable in its lameness. For a Giallo, which it's been called, man how did I let that one slip by, it's still very accessible and succeeds in that area. There's even some surprise incest, which really came way out of left field. A lot of times I judge a film by the last 5 minutes, if I'm on the edge of my seat like I was during Lipstick (which I've got to review, it's an amazing film that Skunkape turned me onto a few years ago), then I know it's a must see. It gets really bizarre toward the finish line, I advise you to stick it out and if you're bored and give up, I think you'll regret missing the big climax.


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