Monday, October 17, 2016

The Worm Eaters

 photo wormeat.jpg
[check out Paul J. Zamarelli's VHS Collector site]

The Worm Eaters Directed and Starring Herb Robbins (1977). 

I'm completely repulsed that they've finally unveiled the secret of this disgusting underground society. There's a few famous members like those Mopey twins from the Kids in the Hall and Andrew Zimmern. Make no mistake this is a fetish film, we see wrigglers slithering in and about girls open mouths, I'd imagine certain people will find this boner-iffic! Not me however I'm a regular meat and potatoes joe lunch pail when it comes to sex. 

I didn't mean to turn you on, by that I mean me.

The credit sequence which looks like a hideous coloring book with crayon scrawlings of worms on a hotdog over the American flag, has that famous "Nobody Likes Me, Everybody Hates me" song on kazoo. Mikels, who from what Psychotronic has told us is a wife collecting Mormon but maybe he's also into vermiphillia. Or deriving sexual gratification from slimy or buggy things doing the wild rumpus on your genitals. Be warned only twisted weirdos aka regular TOG readers should venture further.

Makin America Eat Shit Again!

It starts off at a party. Ursula a bratty like twerp tears open her birthday cake to find a bunch of brown wrigglers then everyone at the party scatters Benny Hill style. That's not even the beginning of the bad comedy or acting that's abhorrent. We don't see any of these characters later so put them out of your mind. 

A dude named Herb Robbins wrote, acted and directed this film. Robbins cut his teeth in the schlocky B-movie circuit and was in R.D. Steckler flicks like The Lemon Grove Kids, Tobe Hooper's Funhouse and weirdest of all Convoy with Ernest Borgnine as Dirty Lyle (he's one of the barflies lurking in the back). So as you watch him act like an offensive methed out stereotypical homeless immigrant, keep in mind that he had a career and possibly made a living!  

Can't I just masturbate in private?

I'm not sure why it's taken me so long to tackle this film from the illustrious Deep Red catalog but this new Crackle style app on Roku called Tubeit-tv has a copy, so I'm checking it out! I hate how all these apps force you to watch the same commercials over and over. I miss the old days of searching through stacks of videos to find an obscure trashy movie--the future sucks! OK, enough of my bitching, back to the review.

Herman, the main worm farmer looks like a soiled homeless cracker in crusty overalls. He has a thick nondescript Euro-accent and is really gross and unlikeable. He talks to the night crawlers that hide in his socks and slither around on his neck while he's driving. This movie is bat-shit crazy!! There's this Miss Yvonne type redhead who delivers gobbledygook lines--I mean I had no idea what she was saying! She might've been speaking clear as a bell English, but my ears couldn't interpret it. Herman obviously tricks people into eating live worms, that's basically the gimmick here. I almost horked out my dinner as I watched this disgusto-thon! I have a pretty low tolerance for watching mouths stuffed with real earthworms, it's so fucking revolting, I was even haunted by it later and it pissed me off as I attempted to enjoy a meal! So--Yes, this movie works to upset your stomach. 

That's nuthin compared to that time when I queefed on Chairry

Herman's pests mostly cause women to choke and die because apparently no one in this town bothered to learn the heimlich. These three women go on and on about hot dogs for some reason, maybe they love the flavor of ground up hog anus over worms. And what's even worse is that once they chow down they don't die, they become the matted skid marked protagonist's humanoid fish bait slaves (or worm people). Herman makes fun of some hippies trying to protest and most of the citizens around town attempt to bring the comedy but it's totally devoid of any real laughs, it's just fucked up and confusing.

I keep telling you we gotta special order that Japanese rape tentacle porn mag you wanted!

The only thing I could sort of compare it to might be if H.G. Lewis and Nick Zedd collaborated but that sounds better than this bullshit! Eventually his victims transform into giant worms. But why does this movie exist at all, it's giving me a migraine wondering who would respond to this, maybe creeps who enjoy sneaking horrifying shit into people's food and get off on that. When the women turn into annelids, they chitter a sound like Cousin Itt.

I love See Fooood!

Greg Goodsell claims there's a subplot concerning small town politics, he knows his shit and maybe I was too busy barfing into a patented "Howard Scott Up Chuck Cup" to pay attention. All week anytime I tried to enjoy my meal all I would think about was close-ups of people gulping down fried chicken with worms slithering around in their lips--BLAAARRGGHHHHH! If this sounds like a masturbatory trigger for you then by all means go out of your way to see it, just stay away from me! If you wished and dreamed that scene in Pink Flamingoes where Divine eats poodle shit and chomps open mouthed was played over and over again then this is the movie for you!


No comments:

Post a Comment

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...