Hollywood High Directed by Patrick M. Wright, starring Kevin Mead (1976).
Imagine you found a time machine and instead of doing something valuable like going back and shooting George Bush's mother in the stomach, like any ultra liberal's fantasy scenario, you decide to venture into a video store in 1986.
You scan the comedy section shelves for something new, a little bit different. You've already seen the Belushi-sploitation antics of "King Fucking Frat", the lovable pre-mainstream debauchery in "Losin It!" and "Nerds In Paradise" for the umpeeth time, so much so that you may puke all over your milkduds! What is there left?
Well courtesy of the brain trusts over at Vestron Video there is one final nail in the Beach Party coffin left to slam down, Hollywood High! So why would a hypothetical person risk life and limb to get in a time machine and risk averting 911 to procure a stupid videotape, because Hollywood High may be the most incredibly revolting, head scratching, Coors Abusing , homophobic, May West impersonating, Beach balling, spaghetti hurling, cop dodging, mind explosion this side of The Hollywood Knights. There's even random bestiality thrown into this dangerous powder keg of stupidity and insanity!
|I came here to rent something, but I contracted chlamydia instead|
The slutty girls surround the latin beach comber, just as they are about to gang rape him, wouldn't you know it, all of their boyfriends show up. The leader of the gang is a stringy haired greaser named The Fenze (played by the mentally challenged Kevin Mead). The Fenze is a yardsale version of The Fonz, a little more Ramonesy than Henry Winkler-ey, he says 'Heeeeyyyyy' instead of 'Ayyyyyyy' and according to IMDB has a fanclub that you can join for just a dollar. He cares more about combing his slimy hair then fighting (which according to him is why he's so good lookin).
|The Fenze's B.O. enhances the flavor of apples|
|Whom ever smelt it doth dealt it|
|Please for fucks sake, pour the beer in your mouth not on your face!|
Scott Glen, who handled the score later went onto fortune and glory as the music supervision on The Golden Girls and Saved By The Bell. The authority in HH are either child molesting teachers or cops who piss on their own shoes and are pelted with rotten eggs and fruit by the kids, (a random food fight automatically occurs since it happened in a famous frat movie with a certain fat junkie). There's hardly any plot to grasp onto, but with characters this one dimensional, do you really want to get emotionally invested in their lives anyway? The director obviously is self-aware, or just doesn't give a fuck. There's actually more pathos going on in a Lemon Popsicle flick, so make sure you turn your brain off before watching.
|You don't know the half (pint) of it girlfriend!|
|A special cameo by Bill Gates|
HIGHLY RECOMMENDED WATCH AT ALL COSTS!
|Just toss that hot pepperoni down my gullet lady!|
|Don't be jealous of my "goodies"|
|You're doing it wrong!|