Sunday, May 12, 2019

Losin' It

Losin' It! Directed By Curtis Hanson, starring a bunch of 80's dudes (1983).

 After a long assed hiatus, It’s back to the salt mine or grindstone. Basically, it’s back to bitching about shit online in the guise of a film critic like Gene Shalit, or Joel Siegel who most of the public is aware that they are indeed the same human scumbag. Or was that something I saw on The Dana Carvey Show?

I usually go out of my way to tackle a fun filled week that celebrates a basic cable bleached bimbo and a whiny, squinty eyed guy named Gilbert, but I dropped the ball and didn’t plan ahead. I’m going to attempt to re-animate this blog but it’s been a struggle to want to return to the blank word document. The reason being is that I don’t enjoy it as much as drawing anymore. I needed to clear out some of these cobwebs and get back into the repetition. If you’re jonesing for some teen sex comedy wacky hijinx then look no further than Mike McBeardo’s latest book Teen Movie Hell.

I moved out of The South, which is already a big improvement. I used to take a highway in Tenn that had a fucking Nathan Bedford Forrest statue! Someone, I’m happy to say covered it in pink bubblegum colored paint that hasn’t washed off. They even talked about it on a John Oliver episode. I’m back to the Bay Area, where I’m readjusting to old habits and settling in. I'll eventually do some field reporting at the Mission Drafthouse in Frisco (people hate it when you call it that)!

To be honest, after the new Deep Red came out I was pretty hurt that I wasn’t included but I’m not going to rip open old wounds, I’ll just move forward. If you haven’t noticed there’s been a serious lack of the old roster of Deep Red writers reviewing on this site. Most of their work has evolved beyond and hardly anyone is keen on giving away their opinions for free online anymore. But why should they? Blogging is completely irrelevant. I’ve always been a technophobe and spouting gibberish online isn’t gratifying to me anymore.

However, I got to exorcise some of these demonic brain clouds and go forth at least for today.

So, on with the review already!

the Pre-South Park Comedy Central.

My sister and I grew up with Comedy Central (or The Comedy Channel in the beginning) and all during our youth, this movie was repeatedly shown in cut form. In fact, we both remember feeling scuzzy after finally viewing it unedited. That’s only because we’d seen the “PG during the day” edit. This one gets better with age and YES, in today’s uber PC millennial universe it’s fucking racist. But fuck that shit, don’t go in with that mentality because it’s set in the 50s and was filmed in the 80s like all great combos those 2 decades through ally compliment each other, just like a Stray Cats tune. I was flabbergasted when I discovered that Curtin Hanson director of The Arousers (which remains one of our most viewed reviews) with Tab Hunter, also helmed this raunchy sex comedy. In fact I discovered that Curtis Hanson was involved in many of my favorite flicks. He started off clumsy with The Dunwich Horror (I'm sorry but that movie is sloppy at best). It worked to his advantage though in getting acquainted with Roger Corman. He wrote White Dog, Silent Partner (which has the only death scene caused by a fish tank) and Never Cry Wolf, a Disney movie against corporate greed! More people should be aware of this talented fellow.

I'm trying to illustrate an invisible mustache!

Dave (Jackie Earl Haley’s finest role) is a horny creep and his little brother Wimp (or Wendell), is a preteen conman selling homework to students out of his locker. The only reason the kid tags along is to buy illegal fireworks. John P. Navin, who has this Billy Jacoby/ Alfred E. Neuman quality left Hollywood for good in the early 90’s sadly. And Jackie Earl Haley went onto to recent roles like Rorschach in The Watchmen and The Terror on The Tick.

last known photo.

The oldies songs on the soundtrack are pretty good and most likely the first time I was exposed to them. The two worst actors in the movie are the most famous -Tom Cruise (who didn’t become a scientologist till the late 90s) and Shelly Long. Along for the ride is John Stockwell from Christine and My Science Project, he mentions that he wants to go just to check out the donkey show!  Later on he gets into a horrifying prison situation.

Dave is on the prowl for Spanish Fly, which is of course doesn’t exist, but it’s awesome watching him almost get his head blown off with a shotgun after he pisses off the pharmacist!
Henry Darrow who plays the corrupt sheriff is menacing and effective. He mainly worked in TV, but would’ve made a good character actor.

James Victor who is barely noticeable as the divorce lawyer was in many action flicks like Rolling Thunder, one of my all time favs.

The way they depict Tijuana is pretty exaggerated and later on reminded me of Hardcore with George C. Scott. That flick had a similar skeeviness in the way they have the attractive girls in the bar to hook you in off the street and once you get behind the curtain the gnarly, decrepit whores are what you end up with. I like how one hooker asks “Did you remember to bring your dick”?

just having an average weekend.

The burlesque sunglasses wearing piano player sings sleazy songs and that bar, besides the strong arming customers into sleeping with ugly women upstairs, the nightclub looks pretty fun. 

Honk if you're horny.

Santos Morales plays the Tonga Lei doorman. I love how he keeps screaming “You have my word as a gentleman!” and when Shelly Long asks where to get a quiet drink, he calms down his demeanor but basically says the same spiel only softer. Morales was in Hamburger The Movie and Scarface!
I’ve never been to Mexico but don’t let this movie form your opinion about what it’s like there. It gets pretty hostile toward the last 20 mins for the boys but they manage to make it out pretty well. This film is much better than I remembered it, Highly Recommended.

Scientology is not a con, you have my word as a gentlemen!

1 comment:

  1. This movie was released in Brazil on VHS by Hipervideo in the 80's with the title of "Porky 3" being that it no continuation of the film franchise created by Bob Clark ,thing home video market of Brazil.


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