Thursday, July 20, 2017

Mountain of the Cannibal God

Mountain of the Cannibal God (Prisoner of the Cannibal God, Slave of the Cannibal God) Starring Stacy Keach, Directed By Sergio Martino (1978).

So let me tell you a little story about when I worked at Goodwill, one of the most miserable places on earth! I was there one day at 8 in the morning and I always take a gander at the videos and DVDs to see what exciting things will be available at the end of the day, but the bullshit rules were that you have to wait until the shift is over to buy anything. This was one of those days when I swear to God, I saw the Blue Underground DVD of the film in question. After the end of a typically brutalizing day, I checked again to see if my prized pigeon was still there but it wasn't! I was crushed that it mysteriously disappeared, no one I knew had their eye on it and swiped it under my nose either! So what happened? Did some elderly perv get his grubby mitts on it and decided to add it to their offensive collection? On a regular basis, people would snatch up racist memorabilia like golliwog dolls and shit that should be locked away in the Black community vault never to be bought by white people.

Apparently, I wouldn't shut up about it because that Christmas, Skunkape unbeknownst to me, sent me a copy and I was overly excited! Yada, yada, yada a lot of shit happened and I forgot to review it but here we are, better late than never.

Cartoon leaves absorb the guilt.

At TOG headquarters we always poke fun at the director, Sergio Martino, as the "monkey tied to a javelin guy" and this is where that reference originated. Normally, I hate Cannibal films, (although come to think of it, I've reviewed too many of them), but this one is a very special case because it's got a bunch of famous people interacting with nobodies along with vile and disgusting animal antics. We've got Stacy Keach in a Beatles wig & scruffy beard combo. James Bond heroine Ursula Andress, who has so much pancake makeup on, it looks like her features are disintegrating. Andress was a 60's Playmate, dated James Dean in the 50's and even hooked up with Harry Hamlin when they met on the set of Clash of the Titans. So yeah, this little dirty secret apparently didn't hinder her career or anyone else's involved like so many other mondo films have done to lesser famous actors. Mountain was also placed on the Video Nasty list and its poster for (Prisoner of the Cannibal God) was featured in the episode "Dirty Movie" for The Comic Strip Presents with Jennifer Saunders and Rik Mayall.

the kitchen is ablaze but at least that poster is OK.

Oliver Onions handle the majestic score aka Guido & Maurizio De Angelis. The first time I heard of this movie was when I saw the shitty bootleg with Japanese subs that Skunkape probably bought from his dealer of choice Threat Theatre. It took a while for this film to grow on me, but I'm pretty sure I saw the cut version the first time I watched it, once you see the midget cannibal and the pig fucking scene it's hard to forget and it sort of becomes etched into your subconscious.

suck on my spinning starfish shithead!

Everyone for some reason wears tan or beige or cream colored, Duh, because it's the 70s obviously. The first poor animal to go on the chopping block is an iguana. They peel it like a banana and eat it's guts. Anyway, the "scary cannibals" are just regular dudes in Brillo pad wigs. That's one complaint I always have about these jungle misadventure flicks is that they never interview the poor fuckers who had to eat the murdered animals or chew on the raw innards dripping in kayro syrup. I'm sure they had a rough time choking them down.

brother if you only knew the bullshit we've put up with!

The locations are really cool, very tropical and nobody looks as sweaty or uncomfortable as they usually do in say Cannibal Ferox. I've never read anything about Stacy Keach's experience during this film and he never mentioned it in the Shock Cinema review. The monkey scene is so fucked up because there's literally a guy shoving the creature into the snake's mouth and his hand is covered up by some optical cartoon leaves. In the extras, Martino tries to come up with some bullshit and say that it just happened naturally, but he's a moron. I don't understand how they allow him or Deodato to just lie through their teeth about the production. Sergio mentions how terrible he feels that Claudio Cassinelli was killed in a helicopter crash during one of his other films Hands of Steel (aka Atomic Cyborg) in Colorado. That I believe though, he seems sincere enough.

 I love the Cannibal's jagged teeth helmets, they're very creative and original. Antonio Marsina, the actor who tags along with Keach and Andress looks kind of like a more haggard version of Cary Elwes, the guy from The Princess Bride, only more sinister.

If I were Cheech or Chong, I would've been asking every question about this movie to Sgt. Stedenko and nailed him to a chair Serpent and the Rainbow style until he talks, (Keach just after this appeared in Up in Smoke). There is an awesome crocodile attack scene but then again this is the director of Big Alligator River. He mentions in the DVD extras that this, Big Alligator and Island of the Fishmen were in the imitation genre or linked films that were capitalizing on successful American films (not sure which ones however--Jaws possibly)?

I was only pretending to be stoned and I hate pizza.

There's a crazy Ewok trap that oozes gore as it crushes this guys feet & rib cage. Can you imagine if the Ewoks decided to just eat C-3PO or Han Solo, I would've died laughing. During the second act they run into Manolo (Claudio Cassinelli), he's smitten by Andress' character and she kind of strings him along.

One positive aspect among the sleaze is that there's not a lot of dominating other cultures or the racist connotations found in most jungle cannibal fests. No one is from the media, trying to exploit anyone or murdering people in the name of some ridiculous cause that's the difference between this and other cannibal films. The savages just like all the other white males in the audience are lusting after those Andress titties. When they smear her with orange paint and dress her up for the sacrifice, she looks like 70's era Bob Mackie did the design. The yellow rotting corpse of her lost husband is down in the caverns and they've fashioned him into a ghastly idol with a Geiger counter heart.

milk milk lemonade, round the corner artisanal fudge is made.

In the Bay Area horror host TV show "Creepy Kofy movie time", they showed this all edited for television, but it was still entertaining to hear what they had to say. I definitely miss that show, although apparently here in Nashville they have a Svengoolie clone but I never see him, since I don't have cable and stream everything. One girl spits into a bucket, which reminds me that episode where Anthony Bourdain had to drink fermented saliva booze and piranha sandwiches--it was pretty horrifying. The same girl that makes a loogy drink gets topless but it doesn't end well for her. Whenever I see the stone age weapons that the savages use it reminds me of the Flintstones. The last 20 mins gets off the chain nutzo! It's mandatory that you stick around for that!



1 comment:

  1. I've been a fan of cannibal movies because they are shameless gross-out flicks. "Mountain of the Cannibal God" and "Cut and Run" seem more accessible and re-watchable than most of the subgenre, probably because they're much campier than usual and much lighter on grim social commentary.


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