Trick or Treat (1986) 2024 Blu/4K Re-release

Super Fan Alert!

Trick or Treat (1986) Dir Charles Martin Smith. 

Now here is a perfect Heavy Metal “Halloween” themed horror treat that can’t be beat! "Hey what am I the corpse of Gene Shalit"? Wait, don’t tell me he’s still alive! No, its Erok forcing himself to write once again now that we’re in the future of 2024 and all the rare films of the past are now available in pristine format. 

Synapse Films really brought out the colors and majesty of Trick or Treat, a film I’ve watched over 100 times. Why am I so obsessed with this particular Satanic Panic infused flick that features a flamboyant barbecued rocker named Sammi Curr? You tell me, just go and watch it right now I’ll wait. If you’re not sold on this one just stop reading here. 

Sammi Curr Lives

I initially saw this in middle school and related to it hardcore because I basically was Ragman! I still wear flannels and horror movie graphic tees and eat Twinkies. I currently own the VHS Tape and remember when the cheesy DVD from Target came out with the goofy photoshop clip art of Ozzy and Gene Simmons. That was the only legit version available before until now that is. 

Not available as an alternate cover thankfully.

This movie planted the seed and it made me wonder if I played certain records backwards (like a rare acetate),could you conjure up the dead? We pondered this theory on me and Bobby Hazzard’s podcast Five Minutes After Midnight. This radio show is no longer available because hosting got too pricey. We almost go to the end of the movie, maybe just credits left.

Eddie Weinbauer (played to perfection by Marc Price aka Skippy from Family Ties steals the show and I really had empathy for his situation). I mean he is viciously humiliated by these brutal tyrannical thugs! There are “New Wave” Jocks in this film, a concept I’ve seen in a few others teen flicks like “Just one of the Guys” but none as menacing as Tim Hainey (played by Doug Savant from Melrose Place). These jerks despise heavy metal and their school is basically a warzone where Eddie and his crummy friend Roger (played by Glen Morgan writer and director of the Black Christmas remake) have to battle their way through. 

Shops at Retail Slut!

Sammi communicates byway of the acetate record “Songs in the Key of Death” and all of his advice starts to benefit Eddie. One of the oddest and horniest scenes happens with nubile actress Elise Richards who listens to a dubbed recording sent to Tim as a “Peace Offering”. Green fumes envelope her nude body and a giant demon puppet slobbers and melts her ears off. 

Skeezix the demon with FX Wizard Kevin Yagher (Nightmare 2, Child's Play, 976-EVIL)

I have to mention the soundtrack by Fastway to me it fits perfectly with every scene. The way Tony Fields twirls and lip synchs on stage is just shockingly infectious. Fields early demise from the AIDS epidemic was a tragic loss. The dance scene is a highlight and has never looked better than on this new Blu-ray. I always wondered if the singer of Fastway, who went onto Flogging Molly prevented the release because of music issues. Who knows what the hold up was but it doesn’t really matter now. 

 I’m really glad that this film in finally available in all it’s glory from Synapse Films. The package comes with a lot for fans of this film. There’re cool lobby cards, a Sammi Curr poster, booklet and tons of interviews and commentary tracks. Marc Price and Elise Richards are featured but sadly No Leslie (Lisa Orgolani or Doug Savant). I’m sure a standard edition will be out soon. I would highly recommend owning this film in any format. HAIL SAMMY CURR! BUY OR DIE. PLAY THIS TAPE OR DIE!

AVAILABLE SOON IN STANDARD FORMAT.

ROCKTOBER BLOOD

Rocktober Blood Directed by Beverley Sebastian, Starring Tray Loren (1984).

Reviewed by Michael Hauss

This movie really hit home for me! The thoughts that music can influence the decisions you make in your everyday life was something that I could relate to, because it had happened to me! When I was a card carrying member of the West Side Mullets, a group of the most ferocious tough guys in mullets, you’d ever want to meet, I became addicted to playing the cryptic, satanic music of that spawned goddess of Satan, Cher. I found that when I played her songs backwards,  I could hear faint chants of Satan saying “Buy Ovaltine!” Well of course after hearing this I immersed myself in the sub-culture that surrounded the great Cher, spiraling downwards with my addiction to Ovaltine, until I read in the World News that she had married Batboy and knew then and there that she could never love me! I, like most other young people in the 80’s also have a story about how their dog told them to kill, but that’s another story for another time.

Any who! This 1984 film is a decent enough little flick about a messed up Rock N Roll singer named Billy Eye (Tray Loren), who goes on a killing spree, killing twenty-five people and almost killing Lynn Starling (Donna Scroggins), the girl he was shagging and had written the song “Rainbow Eyes” for. A year after Billy’s execution, the band has reformed and goes under the name Head Mistress and is now being fronted by Lynn. At the reformation party Lynn is stalked by Billy Eye, but, how could it be Billy? He had been executed the year before for the string of murders he committed against “Rock N Rollers.” But it is Billy (or is it?), unfortunately no one believes Lynn, thinking her crazy. Chris who is the producer and the new shagging partner of Lynn, sends her to the cabin by the lake to get away from the crazy atmosphere surrounding the groups restart. While at the lake with Donna (Renee Hubbard) and Honey (Cana Cockrell), they do aerobics to release some tension and Billy appears and kills Donna and harasses Lynn, right after she gets out of a long bath scene (where she displays one of the most impressive tan lines ever), until the worried Chris shows up and is stabbed by Lynn, who thought he was Billy.

Guinness book you've got your record for whitest ass of all time

The show must go on, as they say! But, not before Lynn and Honey go and dig up the grave of Billy. Chris shows up to aid the girls after they had done all the digging and when they open the casket they discover the skeletal body of Billy. Thus proving to Lynn that Billy is dead and maybe, just maybe she is just imaging Billy’s alive! The night of their first show, a plot twist is revealed and kind of ruins the movie. But, the last few songs like “Killer on the Loose,” and “I’m Back” both performed by Billy in an ape mask, and Lynn performing the song written for her by Billy “Rainbow Eyes, are effective songs and worth the view alone. The ending is a What-the-Fuck moment and may have been left opened ended for a possible sequel, which never happened.

I SHOULD'VE HAD A V-8

I had fun with the flick which I viewed on YouTube after having this recommended to me by the owner of this blog, Erok Hellhammer. The version of this film I viewed on YouTube was very dark most of the view, and had a few continuity issues and the whitest ass ever seen on the lead singer of any band. But, it was fun and in my hyper active mind it had to have something to hold my attention or I’m fast forwarding like a fucking lunatic throughout the flick. The lead characters although shallow,  are for the most part fleshed out including the producer Chris, who is British and helps open-up the grave of Billy, wearing his leather pants, talk about cool. The Billy character, who may or may not be dead? Or maybe he has a twin brother who framed him for the murders? I won't tell so you have to watch this Rock N Roll Nightmare to find out the truth.

Eddie from Iron Maiden's cousin Reggie

The Lynn character as portrayed by Donna Scoggins, is not a hapless victim and is resourceful, a bit vapid at times, but besides the glow in the dark ass, is attractive and capable in the part. This is Scoggins only film appearance, and that is a shame as she had some acting and scream-queen skills. According to IMBd Nigel Benjamin, who played Chris, was the lead singer of Mott The Hoople from 1975-1976, and was also the singing voice for Billy in the film. The movie is directed by Beverly Sebastain, who does a decent, but uninspired job on the film, she has a few other directing credits including that swamp-ass film Gator Bait starring the late great Claudia Jennings.

So, dudes and dudettes pull on them leather pants, tease that wig, slap on some mascara, and wait for the part where Billy while harassing the aerobic suit wearing Lynn at the cabin with phone calls, says…. wait for it…. When the frantic Lynn says, "What do you want?” Billy replies back “Blood! I want your hot steaming pussy blood all over my face!” Laughing maniacally all along. Then after that glorious moment, just remember one thing, you Rockers out there, they don’t write em’ like that line anymore! Hold on, my dog is telling me something...

Hey MIKE, LETS GET WASTED!

Hard Rock Zombies

Hard Rock Zombies Directed By Krishna Shah, Starring "The Usual Gang of Idiots" (1985).

Perhaps you fancy yourself a metal movie maniac and think you've seen it all. Maybe you've read the book Heavy Metal Movies by Mike "McBeardo" Mcpadden and consider yourself a scholar in metallurgy or metalology. There are all kinds of rad heavy metal films out there, you've got the so shitty, they're good ones like Rock n Roll Nightmare and Zombie Nightmare (starring Thor)! And the barely watchable ones like Terror on Tour, Slaughterhouse Rock, Rocktober Blood and even higher grade trash like Trick or Treat (with Ozzy and Gene Simmons as a dumbass Wolfman Jack impersonator named Nuke). So what's left at the bottom of the Showbiz Pizza ballpit, but Hard Rock Zombies, which according to Chas is the Plan 9 or zombiedom! 

   John Carl Buechler completists should have this on their bucket list as well because he was the Assistant Director and chipped in a few special effects here and there. Plus it's got all the Charles Band kind of garbage any self respecting gore hound should run away from in terror! 

   I recently watched this over at Sharky's (Hollywood High's #1 fan) pad and maybe it was the booze, the Chex mix or the double feature pairing with Shock 'Em Dead; but I didn't want to immediately slit my wrists like I imagined I would and even stayed awake throughout the entire film! 

I'm warning you though, this is a special case, so act accordingly when you view Hard Rock Zombies (you'll notice it's not called Heavy Metal Zombies--that should scare you already)! Watch this sufficiently baked, drunk out of your mind or dump 1000 cups over your head or you'll never make it out alive!

Not Enough Beer!

   We start off in the desert with a blonde skinny dipper, who kills two of the wimpiest kids on the road as midgets in tuxedos frolic with delight across the pond. She hacks off an arm and does a Beatles joke and we're off!!

Coke party at Jeff Dunham's house!

   At this point in time, I must stress that we've got at least an hour and 20 minutes left, so start boozin' early!

   Then we're thrust face first into a concert where a dude with hockey hair and a peach fuzz mustache plays what I can only describe as "New Wave Bob Seeger". Their solo guitarist holds a rose in his teeth (reminding me of another awesome metal movie Black Roses with rocking Howard the Duck looking demons). The room tone is extremely loud for some reason and when you hear the rocknroll, it sounds like its blaring from a busted transistor radio. A droopy eyed girl with french fried hair named Cassie (Jennifer Coe) shows up in a sea of groupies and warns them not to go to their next gig. Later on she becomes the object of Jessie (E.J. Curse) the lead singer's affections; He's 40, she looks like she's 12 and you thought Winger's "She's Only 17 was scandalous!"  

Ride away on my back, I'm a pedophile unicorn!

   The country bumpkin locations remind me a little bit of Please Don't Eat The Babies (man I thought I blocked that one out of my mind forever)! 

   They pick up the same blonde from the beginning out hitchhiking and she leads them into a trap. Oh yeah and her mother is a werewolf, howling up in the attic. She makes more "hilariously unfunny" hand jokes and the band ditches them to act like The Monkees. They spray beer at people over at a Bank of America line, bust out a giant cardboard cut out of themselves and do some mime-- I mean these guys know how to party!

Peter Frampton in Kiss makeup

   It turns out the midgets aren't just regular little people, but the inbred offspring of an elderly Adolf Hitler (in a Rip Taylor wig no less, perfect disguise if you ask me). This was the true story of the Ratt "Round and Round" video, it turns out Hitler's master race plan was to have butlers and sexy rodent hybrid girls painted silver look like new wave dicks and rock out with Milton Berle!     

Ratt and Roll, more like Reich N Roll

    Jessie (played by E.J. Curse), the leader of the miscellaneous band (they don't bother to mention their name) starts to fall in love with Cassie, who's criminally underage. I'm guessing she's the Tory Spelling of this film and got the job because her father is the producer or something.     

   They try to play a song for the Nazis in their courtyard that sounds like fake "Hysteria" era Def Lepard and wind up getting electrocuted. 

Working on a SEX FARM! 

   The repressed authority has a council meeting to try and stop the band from playing and giggle a lot about various types of sex that's are forbidden in town. Hard rock Zombies has got some real gusto, I mean they even decide to throw in a reverse Psycho shower scene, where one of the males in the band is stabbed by a woman. I've noticed a pattern with terrible directors who think they're doing us a favor by tossing in an Alfred Hitchcock homage, just stop right now! Birdemic is another wretched example I can think of.

Do I hear Hitchcock spinning in his grave again?

   Cassie plays a shitty song over the bands gravesite (they are all buried in about 3 inches of dirt, right next to each other). The beat makes the dead band pop out of the ground and march around like Thriller extras. 

Why the hell is Hitler so chipper?

   I think Jack Bliesener, is not an actor at all, but a genuine Hitler impersonator, because he's uncomfortably gleeful in his role and wears out the welcome mat really fast. The contrast between Holocaust humor and unfunny comedy is very unsettling--I also have to mention that I'm watching this again sober! The zombies strut around like undead mimes and start killing all the Nazis that murdered them. They play this awful fake Peter Gabriel song during the montage of them slaughtering their killers. 

Not a Kids in the Hall sketch

   A scuzzy promoter who looks like Dennis Miller or Rich Hall shows up to watch them play that Hysteria "Ode to Cassie" song on stage. Now here's a relationship too forbidden-- I mean he's a walking worm feast in his 40's who should be arrested for statutory.

  After awhile, I know it's hard to believe, but they run out of script and it turns into a wacky comedy, complete with Benny Hill music and too many severed head gags!

Man, I love Der Wienerschnitzel!

   One Nazi dwarf sits at a table and eats himself to death in different meal courses. Phil Fondacaro, the famous dwarf actor from Troll and Willow tries to eat a giant cow, I mean these are some cheap gags folks! The promoter freaks out over the zombie band and has a "Back to the Future" Chuck Berry's cousin moment.

I CAME UP WITH THE BEST SNIGLET EVER!

   I know its crazy to apply logic to this film, but that's my job here over at the TOG headquarters. I wonder why they keep the blonde who helped kill the band in the first place around and don't kill her. If anything she's more crucial to the plot then killing Hitler, they even encourage her to dance on stage!

   Toward the end, it gets so dark that it looks like they sent the lighting guy home! This movie is even worse the second time! I like how they took the slogan from Return of the Living Dead and paraphrased it to the effect of "They came back from the grave to misbehave"! Your patience may just completely run out as you watch this film and degenerate into a puddle of goop. 

ONE OF THE WORST MOVIES EVER! MAKE SURE YOU ARE SMASHED BEYOND ALL COMPREHENSION BEFORE WATCHING! 

WATCH HERE IF MUST

I came back from the grave to get some RC Cola!

Groupies!

Nothing scarier then an elderly dog with a switchblade

    

A "Demons" Series Overview

THE “DEMONS” SERIES: A 'THEATER OF GUTS' SPECIAL INVESTIGATIVE REPORT

by Goat Scrote

     Only three of the "Demons" films (Italian title “Dèmoni”) are 'real' entries in this (in)famous Italian horror series. They can be identified by their contagious slime-oozing demons and their awesome soundtracks, each one showcasing a completely different style of music. All three of the originals are worthwhile monster movies with plenty of gloopy special effects. They don't work very hard at making sense but they're lots of fun to watch.
     The films were reasonably successful internationally.  Many unrelated Italian horror movies were released or re-released in foreign home-video markets (particularly Japan and the United States) with new titles that placed them within the “Demons” series. At least nine movies have been marketed under the “Demons” flagship at one time or another, including three different flicks vying for the position of 'part 3', in the hopes of milking a few more lira, yen, dollars, and pounds out of an unsuspecting public. None of the pseudo-sequels actually features anything resembling the slime-demons from the original films. With only a couple of exceptions, the phony sequels are erupting volcanos of suck which are not fit for human consumption. This has sown confusion and a not inconsiderable amount of despair throughout the world.

     My sanity is already too far eroded by three decades of watching this kind of shit. That's why, for an especially grueling marathon project like this, we had to test the films on animals. We strapped mutated, schlock-resistant bunny rabbits into the seats in one of the environmentally-sealed theaters at TOG Laboratories, wedged open their little eyelids, and pumped the adorable fuzzy-wuzzies full of our own patented blend of psychotropic drugs. Then we wired their brains to our malevolent super-computer, Proteus. (He starred opposite Julie Christie in the 1977 film "Demon Seed", which is not the first “Dèmoni” film no matter what Proteus claims.) Proteus collated the results of the bunnies suffering to produce the following list. For you. We did it all for you. To prove that our love for you isn't 'weird' like you keep saying.

     Please observe a moment of silence and perhaps offer a prayer (to Satan, of course) on behalf of all the innocent bunnies killed or driven hopelessly mad by these films. Let us also remember all those brave humanoid explorers before us who made the mistake of delving into the murky depths of the “Dèmoni” series and never returned. We've already discussed my eroded sanity, right?
     Okay, on with the list. The movies are placed based on the position they hold in the series and/or wherever I felt like putting them. That means the pseudo-sequels are presented roughly in the order that they were re-released as a “Demons” movie, not in order of original release dates. Multiple authors are presented in alphabetical order. In these summaries I have tried to avoid any major spoilers.  If you want plot details, each of the movies has been (or soon will be) given the full review treatment here on Theater of Guts. A little internet searching will turn up the majority of them streaming for free under one of their many titles.
     There is an official authorized comic book sequel to the films which has been published, titled "Demons 3". I haven't read it but I am intrigued. Apparently it is a prequel telling a story involving Nostradamus and the demons.

The Originals

“Dèmoni” / ”Demons” (1985)

     Bunny Survival Rate: 80%
    Directed by Lamberto Bava.

     Produced by Dario Argento.

     Screenplay by Dario Argento, Lamberto Bava, Franco Ferrini, and Dardano Sacchetti.

     Music: METAL.  \m/

     Murderous demons possess and terrorize the audience in a movie theater. The victims are lured in by a creepy metal-masked host played by Michele Soavi, who would later direct the third film. Anyone who gets scratched becomes possessed and physically transforms into a monster. Plenty of slime and chaos. Pus spurts all over the place. One of the demons bursts open to release an even more awful demon. The hero fights back with a samurai sword while riding a dirt-bike through the theater. A helicopter crashes through the roof at exactly the right moment for no goddamned reason whatsoever. And yes, there is an eye impalement. You bet your ass this is highly recommended.

“Dèmoni 2… L’Incubo Ritorna” / ”Demons 2” (1986)

     Bunny Survival Rate: 70%
     Directed by Lamberto Bava.

     Produced by Dario Argento.

     Screenplay by Dario Argento, Lamberto Bava, Franco Ferrini, and Dardano Sacchetti.

     Music: 80's post-punk / New Wave

     Also known as ”Demons 2: The Nightmare Returns”, which is the literal translation of the Italian title. There's a bit of wordplay that doesn't translate into English. The Italian word for nightmare (“incubo”) comes from the name of a type of demon which was thought to create night-terrors.

     A demon comes out of a television to slaughter and infect the residents of an apartment complex. Most of the effects are solid and well-conceived but the demon-dog and a few other bits are entertainingly bad, more goofy than gross. It doesn't have the same off-the-wall, anything-goes energy as the first movie but there are plenty of demons and buckets of green ooze. The film ends with a disappointing anticlimax that was lethal to a number of the test rabbits. (I wish they had gone with the super-gory ending rumored to have been in the original script, with a demon-possessed fetus that would have ripped its way out of its mother.) Recommended, although not quite as highly as the first and third movies.

“La Chiesa” / ”The Church” (1989)

     Bunny Survival Rate: 85%
     Directed by Michele Soavi.

     Produced by Dario Argento.

     Screenplay by Dario Argento, Franco Ferrini, and Michele Soavi.

     Music: Modern classical / Prog rock / “New Age”

     Michele Soavi takes on directorial duties for the third movie. The demons ooze their way into our world again, inside a cathedral built to contain the site of an ancient outbreak. Slimy bloody mayhem ensues. A cool goat-headed boss demon, Rube-Goldberg-style deathtraps, and demon sex bring additional flair to the proceedings. The giant beast rising through the floor of the cathedral, made out of the writhing bodies of the possessed clinging to one another, is prime nightmare fuel. Highly recommended – my personal favorite of the originals.

     Some of the bunnies exploded during the demon-on-human sex scenes. I don't think that should count, but Proteus says that my thumbs-up reaction to soft-core monster porno is abnormal. He claims my perspective has been warped by years of mining video stores and the internet for the weirdest things I can find. Personally I think Proteus just feels threatened because demons are his biggest competitors in the field of unnatural human impregnation.

The Pseudo-Sequels

DEMONS 3-B

“Dèmoni 3” / ”Black Demons” (1991)

     Bunny Survival Rate: 30%

     Directed by Umberto Lenzi.

     Produced by Giuseppe Gargiulo.

     Screenplay by Olga Pehar.

     Director Umberto Lenzi is best known to gore fans for the iconic “Cannibal Ferox” (1981). “Dèmoni 3” bears several distinctions among the 'fake' sequels. For one thing, it was released with a “Dèmoni” sequel title from the beginning despite being a zombie movie. They were openly cashing in on the “Demons” series right from the start. Even though a third movie (“The Church”) already existed, there wasn't a movie actually titled “Demons 3”, so that left the market open. This one doesn't have any writing, directing, or production staff in common with the original three. I can respect the deliciously exploitative shamelessness of it all, but unfortunately it's not a very watchable movie.

     Vengeful voodoo-style zombies kill a few tourists after one of them plays a tape recording of a Macumba religious ritual in an old slave-plantation graveyard. They linger on the gore from time to time, but a couple of gruesome meathook eyeball-gouges can't save this one. Unless you really must see every Italian zombie movie ever made, you should flee in the other direction if you see this movie coming. Whatever you do, don't look back because it might be gaining on you.

DEMONS 3-C

"La casa dell'orco" / “Demons III: The Ogre” (1988)

     Bunny Survival Rate: 20%

     Directed by Lamberto Bava

     Produced by Massimo Manasse, Marco Grillo Spina.

     Screenplay by Lamberto Bava, Dardano Sacchetti.

     A silly made-for-TV movie by the director of the first two “Demons” films. Also known as “House of the Ogre” (the literal translation of the Italian title) or “The Ogre: Demons 3”. It was also released as "Ghost House II". "Ghosthouse", the first one, was directed by exploitation-master Umberto Lenzi and that movie was also called "La Casa 3". "Evil Dead 2" was marketed in Italy as "La Casa 2".  In other words, "The Ogre" has also been marketed as a fake sequel ("Ghost House 2") to a series which sprang from a fake sequel to the "Evil Dead" series ("La Casa 3"), the latter fake sequel (aka "Ghosthouse") having been made by a guy who also made a fake sequel ("Dèmoni 3") to a series created by the guy who made the former fake sequel (aka "Demons III: The Ogre").
     You follow that? Yeah, me neither.
     That is why we require the assistance of a supercomputer.

     The movie tells the story of a magical ogre with a sexual fetish for orchids, and the family vacation which he ruins. It's got a few nice visuals but it's even dumber than it sounds, has hardly any blood, and very little nudity or sexuality despite the racy premise. The characters are unlikeable and the monster is dull. The most interesting thing about it is the layer upon layer of deceptive marketing used to sell it. Most of the bunnies died of sheer boredom, and the survivors were driven mad with outrage by the lame ending. Avoid.

DEMONS 4

“La Setta” / “The Sect” (1991)

     Bunny Survival Rate: 60%
     Directed by Michele Soavi.

     Produced by Dario Argento, Mario Cecchi Gori, Vittorio Cecchi Gori, Andrea Tinnirello.

     Screenplay by Dario Argento, Giovanni Romoli, Michele Soavi.

     Also known as “The Devil's Daughter” and “Demons IV: The Sect”. This is the only pseudo-sequel also connected to Dario Argento. I like this movie. Not quite as entertaining as any of the original three “Demons” films but firmly in second place among the faux-sequels. It's pretty to look at, and maintains an oppressive dreamlike atmosphere.

     A young school-teacher's life swirls down the drain when she moves into a house over a watery Hellmouth and she is targeted to be the mother of the Evil One's baby. A convoluted story involves a worldwide network of cultists, a prehistoric species of Satanic brain-eating insect, an innocent-looking possessed rabbit, and slimy blue worms crawling through the plumbing. A woman gets her face ripped off with hooks during a black magic ritual. A deadly handkerchief/death-shroud kills a couple of victims, which sounds dumb on paper but is actually quite creepy and reminded me of a similar element in “Drag Me To Hell” (2009). Recommended, although I think the bunny test may have been biased because of the prominent role of the devil-rabbit, who racks up a couple of human kills along the way.

DEMONS 5

“La maschera del demonio” / “The Mask of the Demon” (1991)

     Bunny Survival Rate: 50%
     Directed by Lamberto Bava.

     Produced by Lamberto Bava, Renato Camarda, Federico Llano, Andrea Piazzesi.

     Screenplay by Massimo De Rita, Giorgio Stegani.

     Also released as “Demons 5: The Devil's Veil”. Director Lamberto Bava tells a tale inspired by his father Mario Bava's “Black Sunday” (1960) and Nikolai Gogol's short story “The Viy” (1835). It draws a great deal of imagery from both sources but goes off in its own direction. This is another movie that Bava made working in Italian TV, but it is superior in every way to “Demons III: The Ogre”.

     A dead witch imprisoned by an iron mask seeks resurrection through spiritual possession of a group of skiers in the Alps. She turns into a series of nasty, foul-looking creatures while trying to devirginate the hero... monster porn raises its ugly head once more. Very little blood but there are some nice visuals and the final half has some entertaining monster effects. There's even a bit of slime here and there. Slightly recommended.

DEMONS 6

“Il gatto nero” / “The Black Cat” (1989)

     Bunny Survival Rate: 25%
     Directed by Luigi Cozzi.

     Produced by Lucio Lucidi.

     Screenplay by Luigi Cozzi.

     Also known as “Demons 6: De Profundis”, originally just called “De Profundis”, meaning “From The Depths”. Reportedly, Daria Nicolodi was also involved with the writing. This was Cozzi's version of the conclusion to Argento's “Three Mothers” series ("Suspiria", "Inferno"), making it yet another instance of an unofficial entry into two different Italian film series. It was also re-titled for its initial release to make it seem like it had a link to Edgar Allen Poe. (It doesn't.) Cozzi's “Starcrash” (1978) is one of my favorite bad movies, but I dislike this one quite a bit.

     Levana, an undead genetic-mutant psychic witch tries to return to life through a movie production which features her as a villain. The witch torments the star of the production and stalks her infant child. The murky annoying story careens to a dreadful, disappointing ending. Cozzi tries to copy elements of Argento's style from "Suspiria", but mostly it doesn't work. Really quite terrible. Avoid.

DEMONS '95

“Dellamorte Dellamore” / “Cemetery Man” (1994)

     Directed by Michele Soavi

     Produced by Conchita Airoldi, Heinz Bibo, Tilde Corsi, Dino Di Donisio, Michèle Ray-Gavras, Giovanni Romoli, Michele Soavi.

     Screenplay by Giovanni Romoli.

     It's smart, macabre, gory, surreal, unpredictable, and it has a wicked sense of humor. This is the best movie on this list, bar none, and a standout among Italian horror movies in general. Has anyone ever seriously referred to it as “Demons '95”? Apparently so. The original Italian title contains rhyming wordplay, literally translating to 'Of death, of love' or 'Of death and love'. It's based on a novel by Tiziano Sclavi, author of the “Dylan Dog” comics.

     The corpses in Buffalora's town cemetery always rise a few days after burial. A gravedigger named Dellamorte and his assistant must kill their returning clients a second time, because it's easier than filling out the paperwork to report the mysterious problem to the town bureaucracy. Then things get weird.
     Highly recommended. The bunnies all died, but they spontaneously returned a few days later. Proteus and I disagreed about how to score this so I unplugged him and won the argument.

     Bunny Survival Rate: 100% undead goodness!

The Gate II: The Trespassers

The Gate II: The Trespassers (or Return to the nightmare) Starring Louis Tripp  (1990)
Reviewed By Goat Scrote

                The Gate, the original movie, was one I really liked as a kid. This was a world where satanic rock records played backward really did contain the secrets of Hell and the key to summoning demons. Also, I thought model rockets were totally cool, and killing a giant stop-motion-animated multi-limbed scaly demon with a model rocket wasn’t just cool, it was METAL.

thank you, drive thru

The sequel picks up years later with Terry (Louis Tripp, the skinny buddy from the first movie, in his late teens). According to him the problem wasn’t that they called up demons, but that they did it wrong. He has done his black magic homework and become a fairly proficient demonologist. “Satanism,” he opines, “Is for pussies.”

He returns to the boarded-up house from the first move to re-open the gate and use the power of Hell to sort out mundane problems in his life. This time he is packing a computer-controlled laser pentagram and a live rodent on a string, all part of his ritual for summoning and commanding little devils. You know, if all that energy he put into blasphemous rituals to rupture the fabric of spacetime was redirected elsewhere, I bet Terry could have worked out some of his issues with a lot less effort and without nearly plunging the entire human race into an unspeakable nightmare of abyssal agony.

Anyway, I’m getting ahead of myself here. The spell is interrupted by a trio of punks, two guys and a gal, and when she shows interest in what he’s doing it doesn’t take Terry’s hormones long to lock on target Liz, played by Pamela Adlon (of Louie and the voice of Bobby Hill).

I'm gonna use fire in my stand-up comedy act

    Quicker than you can say Beelzebub, they’ve opened the gate and gunned down one of the little demonoid buggers from the first movie. It turns out it’s not dead and the kids cage it to force the captive minion to grant their wishes. The teens change the weather and call sports cars out of thin air. The two punk jerks get their hands on the demon, but the wishes start going to shit (literally), the little monster tries to rip their faces off, and one of them starts to turn into a demon himself. Meanwhile Terry and his new girlfriend cast a spell to re-open the gate, in order to send the minion away. Everybody ends up passing into the magical land that heavy metal albums come from.

are you ready for the most epic metal journey? take this acid!

It turns out it was all a big trick by some major demons to escape into our world. The demons possess Terry and try to make him sacrifice his new squeeze to bring on the apocalypse, but in the end the power of love comes over… er, overcomes everything, good triumphs over evil, and blah blah blah. It was a pretty bland sequel. The brief sequence in the other dimension is reasonably cool and there are a few clever touches, but this movie pales next to the first one. The Gate had hordes of minions and a super-demon confrontation at the end. The Gate II: The Trespassers just didn't scratch the same itch for me, so I’m going to have to go watch The Gate again instead.

Crankenstien's notes on Louis Tripp, read this short blurb about the whereabouts of Tripp who has since changed his name to 1220 then to Baphomet Tripp, he is making industrial music in a band called xaos and writing fiction. As for the other Gate stars, Steven Dorf is doing commercials for those light up novelty cigarettes and Pamela Adlon is most likely working with Louis C.K. on something.And I actually like this one over the original, so there!

I'm so fucking METAL!

Meh!

Back from the grave and ready to play D&D and sip an iced latte

Click this link for the top story on Louis over at RUE MORGUE

WATCH HERE