Diabolical Inheritance

Diabolical Inheritance Directed By Alfredo Salazar, Starring Margarito (1994).

Man I gotta watch more Telenovelas or at least ones as demented as this shit! I was raiding the mondo exploito.com archives and came across what looked like a midget in Ronald Mcdonald greasepaint mugging at the camera with a toothy smile, based on that alone, I was sold! I knew I had to put in the call to my number one dealer in hard to find off the beaten path wackiness, Mr. Skunkape. Of course he never lets me down and is the reason this site has stayed afloat for all these years. I do the finger clickity clackin', he does the movie trappin' or something like that. I mean I can’t find everything on Fandor or back alley Salvation Army dumpsters.

The production values are low as fuck, we're talking Fisher Price camcorder style. There's a hideous sex scene that's heavy with shadows layered upon more darkness and confusion, but stick around no matter how tedious the storyline gets because there’s a Grimace cookie waiting for you in a pile of fetid fly covered $ menu cheeseburgers.

I got the dia-beet-tus

It takes place in Mexico, which is oddly topical now considering there’s an authentic Oompa Loomp clown now residing in the white house and all the intolerance toward Latinos. Don’t worry I refuse to go on a political tirade, there’s years of that bullshit everywhere else online. It's even more relevant with the rise of scary clowns making an appearance in different areas and frightening the shit outta people lately. And there's the endless debate whether Guy Fieri, the singer of Smash Mouth and ICP are all the same person, but that's another story. Anyway on with the review.

Clown lives matter Yo!

After Tony’s Aunt croaks, he inherits a creepy old mansion, a pretty typical set up for a haunted house movie but this one really delivers in the unintentionally funny department. There’s lots of slow-mo falls over buildings, down stairs and Margarito Esparza Nevares, the elderly little person who plays the doll is terrifying. He carries the entire production and does a genius job, sadly Margarito just died a few months ago.

used to be available for parties and school events

Tony (Roberto Guinar) scoffs at his girlfriend fretting over the attic, which is filled with demon masks and Satanic bibles. Red flags are waving all over the place, but nobody heeded the warning of course until it’s too late. The two women in Tony’s life are pretty attractive, one of them gets naked but you can hardly see her body, it’s encased in a squiggle fog of video haze. Later on after his girlfriend gets into a horrible accident he moves on real fast and ends up with his hot blonde secretary. They don’t have as much as a split second memorial, just some flowers are quickly placed on her tomb and then it’s off with his new lady friend—that’s cold blooded!

There’s one insane part where Roy, Tony's chubby cheeked Campbell kid looking son and his blonde sitter played by Lorena Herrera visit an insane park. This place is off the chain, there's nursery rhyme statues, actual monkeys swinging around next to ducks above a pond and a giant King Kong statue that moves and blinks it’s eyes—I almost did a spit take on my computer and fried the hard drive.

you know what would go well with my clown midget burrito, some plantains.

It almost gets into Black Devil Doll from Hell rape territory during a dream sequence, but that doesn’t pan out. The most skeeved out I reacted was when a a sleeping hobo gets gouged by a jagged bottle in the head by the short clown, I mean it was just fucked up, nobody deserves that kind of punishment!

While you're up can you grab me a fruit roll-up?

The nightmare fuel rapidly increases into a crescendo of cackles and video tracking shakes. At 1:20 minutes there’s just so much to enjoy, thanks again to Mondo Exploito for turning me onto this warped little flick! I haven't looked it up, but this seems like a prime Video Vortex pick, I'm guessing it will eventually show up on the roster and is just as demented and tedious as you'd expect but I dug every frame of it!

IF YOU CAN FIND IT, GO OUT OF YOUR WAY TO GET A COPY, MORE FUN THAN A HORDE OF CLOWNS FEASTING ON BEEF AND COCAINE!

AND,

Since we don't clown around, we're proud to present this

Trailer That Smells!

Night of a 1000 Cats

Night of a 1000 Cats Directed By Rene Cardona Jr. (1972).

All I know about this Rene Cardona Jr. feline "terror-rama" is that supposedly a bunch of cats were really hurt or killed during the production, which is very sad, someone should've reported him to ASPCA. This is the son of the guy who directed Night of the Bloody Apes and the Mexican Santa Claus and he seems to have a deranged fixation on authentic animal cruelty, there's something mentally wrong with this dude! Cardona Jr. seems to always capitalize on real tragedy with gems like Guyana Cult of the Damned, Survive or squeeze out bad rip offs like Tintorera: The Killer Shark. He's got a couple in the Deep Red catalog and is basically in league with most exploitation directors who've committed crimes without unions, or hurt animals for no reason, just another creep I guess.

Anyway, Hugo Stiglitz is in this one as usual, looking more like a life sized 70's hobo doll than his regular Gene Wilder get up. At first I thought my ears were broken but then I listened again and noticed that the voice that dubbed him is set at the wrong pitch (in fact everyone's voice sounds like a slowed down record), it's hysterical, it reaches that Thurl Ravenscroft (aka Tony The Tiger) baritone! 

The original title was Bloodfeast, I wonder if in the 80's, certain Mexican convenient stores tried to pass this off as the H.G. Lewis classic.

The WOW Network proudly presents "Pussy Pit"

Hugo catches a cat who tries to grab his food off the table and hucks it over a giant chain-link fence into a pit of tons of other furry pals. I'm allergic to this movie already, but it's so silly that I can't turn it off. At one point he drowns a cat and it looks incredibly real, any sensitive viewers don't bother watching this, it's terrible and cruel. I thought in Cyclone (which the son of Cardona also directed had a real dog that gets eaten, but it turned out to be a cleverly disguised fake). What I don't understand is how he was able to get away with this shit, well at least he's not as enamored as the most famous animal torture king Ruggero Deodato!

Hugo (who's character name is Hugo!) shocks his girlfriend by showing her his collection of severed heads in jars. Later on, he kills her and it's insinuated that the wet pile of red slithery meat is her all ground up bite sized. He decides that he should grind people up and feed them to the cats but he could easily just go to the store and buy regular food, man rich people are so cheap!

I gotta get this Gordita meat over to Chuys Mexican restaurant 

Oh yeah I forgot to mention Gorgo (or Borgo, the sound was broken through the entire production), his bald server who does his evil bidding and cooks great! What else could you want in a henchman
right?

The soundtrack is funny it's all jungle drums and non impressive surfy guitar. Hugo flies around in his chopper thinking about his pit of cats. I think they should've played "Cat Scratch Fever," now there's a missed opportunity. He seems like a rich philanthropist but mainly flies around and abducts women. All the girls he picks up are sexy, obviously they are shallow and only care about his riches, never mind that he tortures poor cats. They spend 5 minutes having him do wacky hand signals to a girl in a leotard, which I guess is supposed to be funny. I like how in any language this movie would be stupid and not make any sense.

Looks like I got cat meat in the old pushbroom

Nothing about either title makes any sense because there's no blood and the cats are not really a threat, I would've suggested they call this Hugo-copter instead. It gets to the point where the slow ass voices seem like a prank and I never got used to them, they never failed to give me the giggles though. I'm not sure why this is in the Deep Red catalog, maybe because it's so low grade and dumb it must be seen to confirm how bat shit crazy it is like another "Unwatchable" The Black Devil Doll From Hell. 

THEY SAY A PILE OF SHIT HAS A 1000 EYES, WELL THIS MOVIE IS A PILE OF SHIT!

It's your move Jason Bateman

Cemetery Of Terror

Cemetery Of Terror (Zombie Apocalypse, Friedhof des Satans) Directed By Ruben Galindo Jr. starring Hugo Stiglitz (1985).

Hugo Stiglitz and Rene Cardona Part III are in this very special Mexican edition of Tales From The Crypt--Oh Wait-- I mean Cemetery Of Terror. I've been encouraged to watch this by someone I trust, who said it was slightly better than The Tomb Sackers. Let's all find out (Cackles in a Vault Keeper fashion).

   Hugo has been in almost every single Rene Cardona Jr. flick, he's his leading man and good luck charm, I guess, depending on your gag reflex. He was also the head honcho in Nightmare City. I read in a Shock Cinema interview with Stuart Whitman about Guyana Cult Of The Damned that Hugo's a nifty interpreter too, when you're stuck in a jam.

I just need to find a Mexican Richard Pryor and I can remake Silver Streak

   Stiglitz plays the disheveled Dr. Camilo Cardan. After a female is savagely attacked in an elevator, he receives a call while half asleep and splayed in a grotesque manor. He sort of looks like an owl with facial hair crossbred with a surly Gene Wilder. His insomnia is caused by a devil on the loose by the name of Devlon (Jose Gomez Parcero). That name reminds me of how in high school, Christian scare propaganda would say if you look at the Dio logo, you can plainly see it spells out devil in the calligraphy or some other horse shit!

Freeze or you're dead, Oh wait!

   A bunch of sexy chicas in heavy makeup lounge by the river, they half mention a hang out at a jet set celebrity party. They end up jet ski-ing instead and later at a spooky house party. 

The film sloppily establishes that it's Halloween night, by showing a kid carving a gourd and some of those cheap Ben Cooper plastic masks are worn. All the dudes are trying to get laid, but get turned down by their girlfriends. One character named Jorge (Servando Manzetti) wears a rad satin jacket with a painted skier on the back and a neckerchief, he looks alot like 80's sitcom actor Christopher Daniel Barnes (Day By Day).

I'll take a beer battered fish taco and provide my own tartar sauce

   Speaking of the 80's, there's some choice fashions to keep your eyes peeled for, like a poster paint Michael Jackson jacket. The kids also carry lit Jack-o-lanterns and hitch a ride to the cemetery in a scary van, I'm guessing Mexican kids have never heard of Adam Walsh or how other kids ended up on milk cartons for lesser fatal mistakes.

You should've listened to Mexican Mcgruff the crime dog

   
   Upstairs, he discovers the book of Devlon (a crumpled paper mache evil book of spells). 

Next everyone is clamoring to get to the morgue to steal a corpse for a satanic ritual.

   I like how none of the teens argue or say "Hey why aren't we trying to get to first base with our women instead"? They all silently work in accordance to steal Devlon's body and drive it to the haunted house. 

Estoy perdido, donde es el conjunto de Burial Ground (I'm lost, where's the set of Burial Ground)

  Hugo and his driving companion act like Donald Pleasance and that random cop hunting down Michael Myers, they want to cremate Devlon but it's already too late.

The stupid kids wait until after they've invoked the corpse of the evil bastard to return to start humping--which would be the absolute worst time!

What could go wrong, we got a whole case of Pepsi Free

   The Pedazo de mierda fat (fat piece of shit), slaps people around like their faces and insides are made out of wet tissue paper. I mean guts and necks get pried open with little effort, those are some working man hands!

   The little tykes from the beginning, out trick or treating, finally end up at the spooky house where all the teens have been killed (one has an axe stuck in his head).

The kids end up in the cemetery again where the zombies that punch through their graves look suspiciously like the ones in Thriller. 

This is less scary than a sleep over at Michael Jacksons (R.I.P.)

   I would love it, if Hugo turned around before the credits with giant yellow contact lenses like in Weird Al's Eat It video. But instead he shows up in a stolen police car, just in time to ram a magically rising cemetery gate and some zombies. In Mexico, zombies, like vampires are also afraid of crosses for some reason, that way it saves you a lot of money you'd spend at Walmart buying a gun.

   The whole mess could've been avoided if the teenagers hadn't been satanists in disguise and just burnt the book in the first place. Next time you're on your way to a house party to avoid any senseless murder or human sacrifices, ask your friends if they are Jesus freaks, no matter how embarrassing it may seem-- that's the message I took away from Cemetery Of Terror.
To Be Seen On Heavy Painkillers or other medication!

  

Intrepidos Punks

 

"Intrepidos Punks" (1980)

Starring: Princesa Lea, Juan Valentín, Ana Luisa Peluffo, Juan Gallardo

Directed By:  Francisco Guerrero

Review by: "Machine Gun" Kristin 

SPOILERS! (of course ya dummy) 

This movie is fantastic! If there already isn't a cult following for this, there definitely needs to be! I love these obscure 70s and 80s Mexican (or Mexploitation) films. They definitely deserve a resurgence and proper re-releases with translations, commentary and cleaned up film. "Intrepidos Punks" plays almost like a lost Troma movie and predates "Class Of 1984" with a lot of "Mad Max" thrown in. This is a great movie to watch with friends because you can easily transfer many of it's plot points into blackout drunk drinking games. I'm sure taking shots every time the gang cheers in this movie is enough to destroy your liver beyond repair. Let's also count all the mustaches too while we're at it. 

Made in 1980, "Intrepidos Punks" combines so many great elements so it's easy to overlook it's razor thin plot line. I'm sure the leather, studs and pouffy hair budget alone was enormous. We follow Fiera (Princesa Lea, !?), a leather studded bikini wearing bitch with a huge ass. She resembles a bustier Mary Woronov wearing Wendy O. Willams' wardrobe (or lack there of). Her and formerly jailed boyfriend Tarzan (El Fantasma who manages to squeeze in some fancy wrestling moves) lead a large gang of violent oversexed punks who don't even show loyalty to themselves at times. There's not a lot of gore in this movie (besides a severed hand in a gift box), but there's certainly it's fair share of violence and rape.

There's some great music sprinkled throughout the film. The theme is played time and time again, maybe even too much, but it's still super enjoyable to hear. Someone on YouTube was kinda enough to translate the whole movie including this song which is great because sometimes lyrics are omitted in film subtitles which is a shame. 

(add music notes here)

Lyrics:

Intrepidos Punks! Intrepidos Punks!

On the highways, and the cities too

Robbing anybody, the always break the law

On their motorcycles, riding around with their girls

Looking for adventure, they worship Satan

Intrepidos Punks! Intrepidos Punks!

Sex and drugs and violence, they're always after action

Sex and drugs and violence, and lots of rock n' rooooooooll

*solo*

They got lots of hideouts, where they can go party

They share their broads, their loot too

They always break the rules, they don't know right from wrong

With their leather outfits, the color of night

And their punk hairdos, causing murder and mayhem

Sex and drugs and violence, that's their religion....

etc,

They even let the band (Three Souls In My Mind) have a cameo during a multiple rape scene in the police wives' living room. Jeez, they sure set up their band gear fast! I wonder if they ever played shows with The Plugz? 

Twinzzz!

I'll blow out my broccoli brains

"Intrepidos Punks" could play alongside movies such Troma's "Hollywood Zap", "Joysticks" and obscure 1975 Mexican drug film, "Cristo Te Amo" (which I found at a thrift store with no subtitles so I have no idea what the movie's actually about). I believe "Intrepidos" was mentioned in the essential punk film book, "Destroy All Movies", which I really need a copy of. 

Such loyalty

Is there a better combination? 

Mr. Mister was not a punk band

Oh man, just found out there's a 1987 sequel to this called "La Venganza De Los Punks". Let's all cheer, YAYYYY!!! *barfs from drinking too much*

Check out the trailer for the sequel!

Watch "Intrepidos Punks" here

You can find a DVD copy here

If you know of another source, please list it below in the comments.

Also! I made a button from "Intrepidos..". Make sure you check out my Instagram for my cult movie (and more) buttons that I make and sell. :) 

Cranky here, stellar job on the review sis! A special thanks to William Wilson of Video junkies blog for the suggestion that this may be the lost Deep Red title Insatiable Vengeance, so that's 2 down 1 to go. Next up will be the Rene Cardona Part 3 version of IV, could that be the correct satanic biker flick? Or could all of them just be a coincidence and Mad Foxes was the real culprit all along, shit I hope not!