FOR Y'UR HEIGHT ONLY

FOR Y'UR HEIGHT ONLY
Directed by Eddie Nicart, Starring Weng Weng
Review by Michael Hauss

Reviewing exploitation films can make you jaded. You watch and pick them apart and become so absorbed in the criticism that at times you have dissected them so thoroughly that you lose enjoyment and what was intended by the filmmaker to be a bit of escapism becomes more of a chore because of the plausibility throughout them. But, this insanely fun film is an exception. I could find many flaws within this film to give it a negatively tilted review, but, this film is such a totally fucked up joyous experience that its good points totally outweighs any of its numerous bad points. This film is a blatant ripoff of the James Bond film FOR YOUR EYES ONLY (UK, USA, 1981), that starred Roger Moore. By this time, the Bond franchises film's were so gimmicky and ridiculous, (but remained profitable nonetheless) that I could not force myself to suffer through anymore after viewing MOONRAKER (UK, France, USA, 1979) at the theater upon its initial release.

The reviews for "SPECTRE" are terrible! 

This film's star is the utterly fantastic 2 foot 9 inch charismatic Weng Weng born September 7, 1957 as Ernesto de la Cruz in the Philippines. He became a cultural icon the world over after the release of this film and would go onto to appear in a number of films, until his star burned out and he died alone and in poverty August 29, 1992. If your interested in finding out more on Weng Weng, there is a fantastic documentary called THE SEARCH FOR WENG WENG (Australia, 2014) which is highly recommended.

"Director Andrew Leavold will never find me!!!"

Weng Weng plays Agent OO, a pint sized James Bond, who through the use of weaponry and gadgets fights a bumbling gang of thugs to get to a Mr. Giant, who has kidnapped a world famous scientist named Dr. Koehler and is after his formula for the "N" bomb, which Mr. Giant plans on using to conquer the world. Mr. Giant is the head of a crime syndicate who champions the causes of evil. One of Mr. Giant's many illegal businesses includes running a bakery where he puts dope in the dough for distribution, he also besides selling drugs, runs a prostitution ring, and runs an extortion racket. Weng Weng with the aid of an inside informant in Mr. Giant's syndicate, a plant named Irma, whose information helps him to stays one step ahead of the gang who works for Mr. Giant. Eventually it's discovered that Irma is a turncoat and is sent to see Mr. Giant who plans on feeding her and the scientist to the sharks. Weng Weng becomes doubly determined to free the pair because of his growing affection for Irma, and he systematically takes out the gang one by one, until he has eliminated the ones guarding the map to the location of Mr. Giant's island hideaway. Weng Weng uses a jetpack to transport himself to the well guarded  island to free the pair of captives as the agencies other agents await the designated time to aid our little hero. This is where I will stop with the synopsis, as I don't want to destroy a thing for the potential first time viewer of this film, let's just say the conclusion is chaotic with many kills for Weng Weng and his supporting agents and a rousing finish to this funky little gem.

Weng Weng runs on Coke

Weng Weng Poppins

This film is littered with plenty of continuity issues and the dubbing is hilarious, as we are given bad British accents, old Hollywood gangster speak and just plan jaw dropping dialogue, case in point, when an inquisitive lackey asks the gang's leader Mr. Kaiser about the possibility of meeting or seeing Mr. Giant (who is not shown until the end), Mr. Kaiser replies, " with that curiosity of yours, your libel to wake up one day and find yourself dead." One woman tells Weng Weng that your a "little guy, very petite like a potato." But the best and the most laugh inducing scene for me was when an attractive police reporter is taking pictures of a dead body at a crime scene, one of the people looking on says, " I wonder if she does weddings and bar mitzvahs?" The score is a variation of the Bond theme and is over used to the point of irritation.

Meet Weng's Wang!

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Weng goes for some sexual chocolate!

The cast is excellent and while not natural as an actor Weng Weng does an admirable job as Agent 00, who is a little ladies man and a bad ass with his guns and with his lethal martial arts moves, which relies heavily on repeated kicks to the genitalia. The body count In this film is high and while not Gore laden, it does showcase a plethora of gunplay and casualties. So here comes the nitpicking time, the first issue is that it seemed that Weng Weng' s gun seemed to jam a lot, forcing him into repeated martial arts related fights to showcase his expertise, the use of the sliding across the floor gag and shooting someone was overdone and he spent much of the film running as he was never shown operating a motor vehicle. But those are just some small things that cannot detract anything from this schlocky B-movie that gave this old jaded ass reviewer the thrill of finding that exploitation gem I've been searching for the last few months.

"I just saw boobies!"

Is this more degrading than midget bowling or what?

The director of this film Eddie Nicart has fifteen known directing credits which includes this film along with the Weng Weng films AGENT OO (Phillipines, 1981), IMPOSSIBLE KID OF KUNG FU (Phillipines, 1981) and D' WILD WILD WENG (Phillipines, 1982). Weng Weng has twelve credits listed on his IMBD page and those listed are the film's that have been found and documented, more films perhaps lost forever were made but have yet if ever to surface. Weng Weng appeared again as Agent 00 in the films AGENT 00 and THE IMPOSSIBLE KID OF KUNG FU. He was briefly featured in Mark Hartley's Filopinosploitation documentary Machete Maidens Unleashed (-ed). Weng Weng was once the darling of the Filipino cinema and media who was close friends of the first lady Imelda Marcos and a sought after interview and television guest, he went from a popular media figure to living in squalor and forgotten in less than 10 years, a real tragedy in my mind.

Let the spirit of Weng Weng Live on, so buy a damn T-shirt!

STYLE 1 or STYLE 2

The Imp

The Imp (Xiong Bang) Directed Dennis Yu Starring Kent Cheung (1981).
Dennis Yu is a recent criminally overlooked director that I've discovered by way of the Deep Red catalog, which has countless rare Asian horror titles. He followed up The Beasts with this one, chock full of things found in the Mr. Sparkle Simpsons commercial like wind,ghosts and evil babies waiting to be reborn.

   It starts off in an interview, where the character mentions he used to sell bras (that Seinfeld episode instantly came to mind). Mr. Cheung (Charlie Chin) a sad sack down on his luck goes home to his pregnant wife up a long staircase. He seems like a caring husband, not the typical maniacs seen in most Asian horror films. When he shows up for another interview, it turned out that a disgruntled lunatic chopped up the boss and they carried him away to the morgue. All of a sudden a job as a night watchman just falls into his lap and he's in uniform at the mall getting trained, What Luck! 

   In the control room he meets Fatty, a character played by who else, but the fat dude from Run & Kill, Mr. Kent Cheng with a 70's looking porn stache.

   The main character gets a call that his wife is having their baby, but gets trapped in a sinister elevator that fills up with water. It descends to a level of hell with green smoke and a shrieking mutant! A security guard named Big Hulk (Ching Wong) proudly boasts that he killed a poor dog and its now in a giant bowl of soup that they all share! He accidentally swallows a bone and chokes!

How do I feel? What do you think?

The lighting and shot composition are miles above some of the inferior Asian video dupes, I've seen lately. The music has this frenetic quality and does a nice job of creating tension. It's a welcome change of pace from the usual stolen soundtracks from big budget Hollywood. Fatty tried to drive Cheung's wife to the hospital but his dog turns vicious and fears the child (possibly an homage to The Omen)?

Yeah, I'm trying to score

All of his co-workers are in danger from an unseen baby sounding creature on a rampage! 

What I can only describe as a business warlock steps in to offer help, he's an odd ball who calls frogs in jars "ghost suppressors" and his beliefs seem to be rooted in the Chinese calendar and Yin and Yang.

They call me Biz-Lock for short

   Late at night he attempts to battle the creepy green fog, wearing a sacred medallion that protects him from almost getting his ribs caved in. The green smoke can do some horrific damage and later burns up a car and turns Cheung's co-workers into blood thirsty zombies. The "business warlock" tells the security guard to place religious amulets around the hotel to ward off the evil. You never know what you're going to get with these Eastern religious motifs, its a mixed bag and always fascinating to me.  

Why is this bullshit happening to me?

    Ah Cheung's wife starts turning into a guts eater and keeps intestines in the fridge. The Imp visits the main character in a hellish land of water, chains and blood, it swears to take over and become reincarnated as his child! The ending is very ambiguous,we see the evidence, but how do we really know if the protagonist was insane and dreamt up all of the madness in a haze of stress! The Imp plays tricks on your mind and leads you through a manic ride ending in a brilliant climax just as compelling as The Omen.  

   This seems kind of random, but Fatty wears two separate shirts that form the sentence "Am I A Girl, No I am a man! and it's never mentioned or referenced at all, watch out for this zany moment! 

What is the deal with that shirt?

HIGHLY RECOMMENDED!

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